Broken Soul, Broken Heart
by angel1002
Summary: During an overseas trip to uncover ancient remains Bones' group is kidnapped. What happens to her during her captivity will change her forver and her walls come back up. Can Booth tear them back down? Rating for Sex, violence & rape
1. Chapter 1

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

Temperance Brennan had just placed her suitcases next to the front door when there was a knock at her door. As Booth taught her, she looked through the peephole and saw him standing outside holding a box of Thai food.

"Booth what are you doing here?" Bones asked opening the door and he flashed her his trademark charm smile.

"I thought you might be hungry."

"You thought right. Come on in." She opened the door and Booth stepped inside. "I had just finished packing and I was going to order myself dinner."

"Well as usual I have impeccable timing." He said cockily and she just rolled her eyes.

Booth had eaten over at Bones' apartment many times so they had a routine set up. Booth took the cartons out of the box while Bones got the plates out of the cupboard. After they dished out the food on their plates, Booth grabbed some beer out of the fridge and then they headed to the living room.

"So…you're all packed huh?" Booth asked looking at the suitcases by the door.

"Yes. I'm all packed."

"Good. That's real good."

"Booth are you okay?"

"Yeah Bones. I'm fine. Why are you asking?"

"You're not acting like yourself."

"I'm fine."

"If you say so." Bones commented and they resumed eating in silence for five minutes until Booth spoke again.

"I'm not fine Bones." He finally admitted.

"What's wrong Booth? Are you okay? Are you experiencing symptoms of your tumor again?" He saw the worry in her eyes and he reached for her hand.

"No tumor Bones. My last scan was clear."

"When was your last scan?"

"A week ago and the doctor called me two days ago with the results."

"So no more hallucinations?"

"Bones I'm fine."

"But you just told me you aren't fine. I don't understand."

"Bones I'm worried about you. I don't want you to go on your trip."

"Why on earth not?" She suddenly sounded furious.

"I've got a bad feeling Bones and I think you should stay home."

"Is your gut telling you that?"

"Yeah Bones my gut is telling me that and you know that my gut is usually right."

"Well your gut is wrong Booth. It's a simple identification mission, something I've done hundreds of times."

"Things are rough over there Bones and…I'm…afraid for you." He told her softly.

"Your concerns are not necessary. I'm not going alone. I will be with a group of people."

"A group of anthropologists. Not exactly the group of people that I would feel safe with."

"You feel safe with me don't you?"

"You're different from the rest of them Bones. Will you stay if I ask you to?"

"No."

"Then I won't ask." He looked at his watch. "I'm going to head out." They both stood and walked to the door.

"Thanks for dinner." Bones said softly.

"Anytime."

"Are you still going to take me to airport in the morning?"

"Are you still going?" She nodded. "Then I'm still taking you."

"Thank you."

"Night Bones."

"Goodnight Booth." They stood there looking at each other for a minute before Booth opened the door and left.

Bones cleaned up their plates, turned off the lights and locked the front door. She turned away and started to walk to her bedroom when she heard another knock at her door. With a sigh she turned around, turned on a light and looked through the peephole and was surprised to see Booth standing there.

"Did you forget something?" She asked opening the door.

"I need to tell you something. Can I come in?"

"Sure." He stepped in and closed the door behind him. "Look Bones there is something that I have wanted to tell you since I woke up from my coma and my gut is telling me that I have to tell you now and you know that I never ignore my gut."

"Booth what is it?" He reached for her hands and took a deep breath.

"I love you Bones and not just as a friend. I'm in love with you."

"Booth I…"

"I know how you feel about love and I don't expect you to say it back. I just wanted you to know that I love you Temperance." He stood there waiting for her to say something or even slap him but to his surprise she did neither. Instead she walked up to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

At first he was too shocked to respond. He had dreamt of this moment for a long time but he never actually thought it would happen so he just stood there like a statue. She pulled away and looked at him with confusion in her blue eyes. "Booth I…I'm sorry. I just thought…"

He never let her finish her sentence. He pulled her back into his arms and kissed her. She ran her fingers through his dark hair while he cupped her face with his hands. They both opened their mouths and inserted their tongues into the new area. They kissed until they could no longer breathe. "I've wanted to do that for months." He whispered breathlessly.

"I think I've wanted you to do that for months." They looked deeply into each other's eyes for a minute before crashing their lips back together. They kissed each other like they have never kissed anyone before. "Make love to me Booth." Bones whispered when the broke apart.

"Really?" Bones took his hand and led him back to her bedroom.

Once they were in her room she released his hand, turned down the bed, pulled some condoms out of her nightstand and lit some candles throughout the room while Booth removed his suit jacket, tie and shirt. Once the candles were lit Booth walked over to Bones and gently pulled her sweatshirt over her head. "So beautiful." He mumbled as his eyes and hands roamed over her chest. A small moan escaped her lips when he cupped her breasts through her bra. He reached around behind her and expertly unfastened her bra slid it from her arms and tossed it to the floor. Lifting her up, he walked a few steps over and deposited her on the bed. He quickly removed his pants and boxers and climbed on the bed next to her.

"What are you smiling out?" He asked her.

"I always assumed that you were well endowed but this is beyond what I ever thought." His penis was the biggest she had ever encountered.

"You've seen me naked before." He was referring to the time when she walked in on him when he was taking a bath.

"You didn't have an erection then."

"So you've thought about me…about us having sex?" She nodded. "Well I hope that the real thing is as good as your dreams." He lifted her hips up and removed her jeans and underwear. He began to place kisses on her foot, ankle, calf, knee and thigh. He continued to kiss until he found her hot wet center. He placed her legs on his shoulders and his lips on her folds causing her to buck against him. "Relax Bones." He whispered before he took her clit in his mouth.

"Boooooth." She moaned. After a few minutes of pleasurable torture he moved his mouth away from her clit and down to her entrance so he could taste her. They both groaned in delight when he placed his tongue inside her. He continued to dart his tongue in and out of her and within minutes a powerful orgasm overtook her body. Booth gently placed her legs back on the bed and kissed his way back up her body, spending a considerable amount of time on her breasts until he found her mouth again where he kissed her slowly and passionately. "That was amazing." She told him when they broke apart.

"You ain't seen nothing yet babe." He reached across her body to the night stand and grabbed a condom.

"Allow me." She took the condom from his hands, opened it and expertly smoothed it over his very erect penis. He spread her legs and with one smooth he pushed himself into her. Before moving he gave her a minute to adjust to him and then he began to thrust slowly inside of her, almost pulling out and then pushing fully back inside of her. The room was filled with the sounds of her moans and his grunts as they both experienced a new level of intimacy. When he felt her walls clench around him he exploded inside of her and a minute later she was moaning out his name as she climaxed.

Once her trembling ceased Booth pulled out of her and rolled over onto his back taking her with him. He placed his hand on her smooth, beautiful ass and they shared soft kisses. "So was it as good as you thought?" He asked her.

"No."

"No?"

"It was much better. Why did we wait so long?"

"Good things come to those who wait."

"Then I'm glad we waited." Bones said with a smile. Booth laughed and kissed her again.

--

When the alarm went off the next morning Bones quickly extracted herself from the comfort of Booth's arms and turned it off before it woke him up. After the alarm was off she rolled over on her side and looked at the man laying on his back next her. Even though they made love, twice last night she still couldn't believe that it had happened. She had had sex multiple times before but she had never experienced anything so wonderful before.

There was no doubt that Booth was by far the best lover she had ever had. He was sweet, gentle, attentive and he made sure that she was satisfied. Booth had once told her that sex was just sex if you weren't in love with your partner but when you're in love sex turns into something magical. She never believed in magic before but being with Booth changed her mind. What she experienced with Booth last night was in one word…magical and the only explanation was that she was in love with her partner.

Over the past year she had been experiencing some different feelings, feelings that were more than friendship but she wasn't sure that it was love. In all of her adult life she closed her heart off to love because in her past love had hurt her and she was afraid to get hurt again. As she stared at the sleeping man next to her she knew, without a doubt that he would not hurt her. She knew that her heart would be safe if she gave it to Booth. It really helped that that he wasn't pressuring her into saying "I love you" to him. Admitting that she loved him to herself was one thing but admitting it out loud, to him was terrifying to her and she had no idea why.

"See something you like?" His voice brought her out of her thoughts. She blinked and smiled at him.

"Actually I do." She leaned forward and kissed him softly. His arm automatically wrapped around her naked back and he drew her body close to his until her breasts were crushed against his chest.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked when they broke apart. He ran his fingers through her tangled hair.

"Very well. You?"

"I slept great. By the way, do you know that you snore?" She pulled out of his embrace and sat up.

"I do not!" She replied crossing her arms.

"You sound like a train." He said with a smirk and then proceeded to demonstrate how she supposedly snored. She grabbed a pillow and hit him in the face with it. "You wanna go there Bones?"

"Go where?" She asked, hitting him with a pillow again.

"You're going down." He lunged at her and tackled her to the bed, both of them laughing. When their laughing finally died down Booth kissed her softly while reaching for a condom on her nightstand. He broke away long enough to slip the condom on.

"Booth I don't have time. I have a plane to catch and I still have to get a shower and…ohhhhhh." She moaned when he sheathed himself inside of her.

"We always have time for a quickie." He grunted as he began to thrust himself inside of her. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his lower back, urging him to go deeper.

True to his word this love making session was quick and passionate but he followed her into the shower which led to another love making session. They were like high school kids who couldn't keep their hands off of each other and they were loving every minute of it.

When they finally got out of the shower they were officially late. Bones rushed around getting ready and finishing her last minute packing of her toiletries and such while Booth just put on the same clothes he had on the night before and made some coffee. When she was ready she met him in the kitchen and he handed her a travel mug full of hot, steaming coffee. As soon as she took her first sip he pulled her to his chest and kissed her.

"I'm going to miss kissing you so much when you're gone." He mumbled.

"Booth you just started kissing me yesterday."

"Kissing you, touching you, making love to you Bones is like a drug. I've had my first taste and now I'm addicted to you."

"That's absurd."

"No it's not." He leaned in and kissed her again. This kiss was full of love and passion and left her breathless and wanting more.

"Booth…I…we…late. We need to go." She mumbled. When he kissed her she had trouble coming up with a rational thought, something that had never happened to her before.

"Bones please stay." He asked again.

"I can't. I made a commitment that I intend to keep."

"Okay. Come on." He slung an arm around her shoulder and they headed to the front door, only stopping long enough for him to grab her luggage.

Since they were running late he flipped on his siren and sped to the airport getting them in record time. He flashed his FBI credentials and parked in the "Drop Off" section of the airport and escorted her inside.

"You take such advantage of your position." She commented as they waited in line to check her bags.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He said with a smirk.

"You drove the entire way here with your siren on even though it wasn't an emergency and then you flashed your badge like it was an emergency so you could park in a no parking zone and not have to pay for parking."

"Hey I risk my life everyday for my country. The least I deserve is a few perks now and then."

"No you're just too cheap to pay for parking."

"Not all of us are best selling authors Bones."

"Just admit that you are cheap Booth."

"I didn't want you to be late." Sighing, she shook her head and stepped up to check her bags.

"You have about five minutes ma'am until boarding."

"Thank you." Bones said taking her ticket. She stepped out of line and Booth took her hand and together they walked to the metal detector.

"This is as far as you can go." Bones said.

"Guess again." He flashed his badge and was waved on through. Bones just smiled, placed her purse and carryon on the x-ray scanner and passed through detection. "This time I took advantage of my position."

"I'm glad you did." She whispered linking her small, soft hand in his large, rough one.

When they arrived at her gate they were making the boarding call. As she turned to Booth she felt tears fill her eyes. She knew she was going to miss him terribly. He took her in his arms and hugged her tightly until the second boarding call was made.

"I need to go."

"I know." He made no move to release her.

"Booth." He finally pulled away and looked into her eyes.

"I love you so much Bones." He placed his thumb under her chin, lifted her head and pressed his lips to hers in a soft, sweet kiss. "Be safe and I'll see you in a few weeks." She placed her hand on his unshaven cheek.

"Goodbye Seeley. I'll miss you." She quickly kissed him again, broke away from his embrace and walked away from him before he could see her tears. She turned in her ticket and began to walk down the tunnel to the plane. She was halfway to the plane when she had the strongest desire to share her feelings with him. She turned around and ran back.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" The stewardess said.

"I need one minute." She frantically looked around and found Booth standing by the window, staring at the plane. "Booth." She yelled. He turned in surprise and then rushed over to her.

"Bones are you okay?" He asked, concern filling his brown eyes.

"I love you Booth."

"Bones…" She grabbed his suit jacket, pulled him to her and kissed him hard.

"I love you." There were tears falling from her eyes when they broke apart. "I couldn't leave without telling you."

"I love you too."

"Ma'am if you're leaving you need to come now." The stewardess called.

"I have to go." She pecked his cheek and ran off.

Booth stayed at the airport until he could no longer see her plane. He still was in shock that she told him that she loved him too. He wanted so badly to hear her say those words but he didn't want to push her. He knew how she felt about love and how badly love had hurt her in the past and today she removed the last metaphorical brick from the walls that she had built over her heart and he promised himself that he would never break her heart.

--

Bones' flight was uneventful. Since she didn't get much sleep the previous night she slept most of the flight, waking up long enough to eat because she knew once she arrived she wouldn't have many good food options. The last portion of the flight was in a plane that Booth referred to as a "puddle jumper." It was very small and it barely fit the nine other anthropologists in it. Bones had worked with some of them before so they spent the short flight reconnecting and getting to know the new anthropologists that had joined them.

Once they landed they gathered up their luggage and boarded the bus that was taking them to their destination. Excitement filled the bus. As much as Bones loved her job at The Jeffersonian she loved the evacuation and identification of ancient remains even more. She figured that she could remain satisfied at The Jeffersonian if she could participate in ancient identification once a year.

When the bus stopped in the road to let a herd of cattle cross a sudden crash of the glass on the door at the front of bus occurred. Five masked and armed men boarded the bus. Before anyone could react one of the men shot the driver and shoved him out the bus and then one of the masked men got behind the wheel and drove the bus.

"SHUT UP!" One of the men yelled. Most of the other anthropologists on the bus with Bones were crying and panicking.

"What do you want?" Bones yelled.

"None of your business. All you need to know is that if we get what we want you all will be fine." One of the poor women in the front of the bus was near hysterics and he hit her in the head with the butt of his gun nearly knocking her unconscious. "I said shut up." The bus immediately went silent except for the occasional muffled sob.

When the bus arrived at their new destination they were all roughly led off the bus and shoved into two small rooms, men in one woman in another. Bones tried the best she could to comfort the scared women around her but she was never good at comforting anyone so she just did the best she could. Occasionally one of the men would come into the room to check on them and they would leave again. Once they were even generous enough to throw some food at them.

After hours of sitting in silence one of their captors came in and grabbed one of the woman and started drag her out of the room. Bones had met her earlier on the plane and she recalled her name was Tracy and she had a husband and two young children. She had no idea what would happen to that poor woman if she was taken out of the room but she couldn't allow anything to happen to Tracy and most importantly she couldn't allow her children to grow up without their mother. She at least had martial arts experience and could defend herself if needed.

"Take me." She said standing up. Their captor ignored her and reached for Tracy. Bones reached out and grabbed his arm. "I said take me."

"You're a feisty one aren't you?" He sneered.

"You have no idea."

"Fine then." As she was drug out of the room into something unknown all she could think about was Booth's gut. It was right.

_**Thanks for reading my newest story. Please leave a review with your thoughts. Thanks as always.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

"Wake up bitch." At the sound of his voice Bones forced her eyes opened. Once she was able to focus on her tormentor she glared at him.

"Haven't you had enough fun with me yet?" She said through clenched teeth.

"Not even close."

Through her small enclosed room she had been able to keep track of the amount of time she had been held captive and she had seen the sun set eight times so her best estimate was she had been held for eight days. She still didn't know what they wanted or why they were holding them hostage and there was no hope of Booth coming to rescue her. She told him she would try to call him but she didn't guarantee it so he wasn't expecting her home for another two weeks. He wouldn't know anything was wrong until she didn't get off the plane in D.C. and even then he wouldn't know how to find her.

These last eight days have been pure hell. She has been beat and raped numerous times. The first rape occurred hours after she was led away from the group. She fought like hell but all it did was piss them off. When she kicked one of them in the groin another one of them hit her so hard that she hit her head against a wall and blacked out temporarily. When she came to she was on her back, her clothes were off and one of them was thrusting himself roughly inside of her. Instinctively she fought against him. She scratched his face and received a punch in hers for doing so. Two of the other men held her legs apart so that bastard could finish what he started. When it was over she rolled over and vomited.

This was the routine, three to four times a day for the next seven days. Sometimes she fought like hell during the rape, which made them enjoy it even more and sometimes she just laid there and let them have their way with her which pissed them off even more and the rape ended up being more violent. She couldn't win.

"What the hell do you want from us? Why are you holding us?" She asked the same question everyday.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" It was the same answer she got everyday. He roughly grabbed her arm. "Get up."

"No." She tried to stay on the floor but he grabbed her so hard he almost yanked her arm out of its socket. "Get your filthy hands off of me." She elbowed him in his chest but she was so weak it was pointless. He just laughed.

"You know you like it." He grabbed her naked breasts and squeezed so hard it brought tears to her eyes so she did the only thing she could. She spit in his face.

"Stupid bitch." He hit her so hard with a closed fist she felt her right zygomatic bone crack. "You'll pay for that." He roughly spun her around and bent her over the table.

"No. No. No." She screamed.

"Shut up." She heard his zipper slid down and she screamed again. Her captor grabbed her thighs and jerked them apart.

"Please don't do this." She begged through her tears. She struggled against him but it proved fruitless. He easily overpowered her and roughly thrust himself into her anus. She screamed out in agony as she felt her inside tearing. It seemed that her screams made him enjoy it more because he laughed and thrust harder. Just when she thought she couldn't take it anymore he finally pulled out of her but before she could even breathe a sigh of relief he had her on the floor and was on top of her finishing what he started. When he finally ejaculated inside of her he stood up with a smirk, zipped his pants, kicked her in the side and sauntered proudly out of the room. As soon as the door shut Bones rolled herself into a fetal position and sobbed.

--

"Agent Booth. Director Cullen wants to see you in his office." Ann, his secretary's voice rang over the intercom.

"Did he say what for?"

"No sir. He just said A.S.A.P."

"Okay. I'm on my way." Booth grabbed his suit jacket and made his way to his boss's office, wondering what had warranted the call. He was up to date on all of his paperwork and he hadn't shot any inanimate objects lately, the main two reasons he was usually summoned to Cullen's office. Taking a deep breath he gave a sharp knock on his boss's door.

"Enter." Came Cullen's reply. Booth opened the door and stepped in and was surprised to that Sam Cullen wasn't alone.

"You wanted to see me sir."

"Have a seat." Cullen ordered and Booth did as directed. "Booth this is Agent Donohue from the ninth floor." Booth extended his hand wondering why an agent from the ninth floor, the terrorism floor would be down here.

"Nice to meet you."

"Agent Booth, you are partners with Dr. Temperance Brennan correct?" Agent Donohue asked and it finally made sense to Booth.

"Yes I am but unfortunately she is out of the country for another week." Booth assumed that they needed Bones' expertise in identifying bodies from a terrorist attack somewhere.

"When was the last time you spoke with Dr. Brennan?"

"Two weeks ago when I took her to the airport."

"Did you make arrangements to speak at all while she was gone?"

"No specifically. She said that she wouldn't have internet access so she wouldn't be able to email me and she wasn't sure if she would have easy access to a phone. She promised that if she was able to get to a phone she would call me." He suddenly got a very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. "What the hell is going on?" Agent Donohue handed a photograph to Booth.

"Agent Booth do you see Dr. Brennan in this picture?" Booth examined the picture and it didn't take him long to spot his Bones.

"Yeah she's in the back row, third from the left. I'm going to ask again. What the hell is going on?"

"We received this picture from a terrorist group claiming that they were holding a group of American anthropologist's hostages." Booth turned pale and gripped the arm of his chair.

"What do they want?"

"The release of a member of their group from Guantanamo Bay."

"Are we going to release him?" Booth asked already knowing the answer.

"You know we don't negotiate with terrorists Agent Booth."

"Who are they?"

"Who is who?" Agent Donohue asked.

"The terrorist group that kidnapped my partner." Booth resisted the urge to call him a dumbass.

"A small group that was pretty low on our radar. What were they thinking kidnapping a group of anthropologists?"

"Excuse me?" Booth said between clenched teeth.

"It's anthropologists Booth. No one really cares about them and no big giant fuss is going to be made over them." In an instant Booth was on his feet pulling Agent Donohue to his as well.

"I can't speak for those other anthropologists but I'm sure they have families that care for them but I sure as hell can speak for Bones. Her damn squints care for her, she has a brother who loves her and a father who really loves her and who by the way killed the deputy director of the FBI when he tried to hurt his kids so what the hell do you think he will do to a puny FBI agent who doesn't give a shit about her kidnapping?"

"BOOTH!" Cullen shouted getting between the two men.

"Are you threatening me?" Donohue asked Booth.

"No. All I'm trying to say is that Bones has people who care for and love her including me."

"I apologize Agent Booth. I didn't mean it like it sounded. It came out wrong."

"Damn right it did." Booth mumbled backing away from the fellow agent. "So what the hell are you guys doing?"

"The only thing we have to go on is the picture. We have our guys working on the picture right now trying to determine a location but so far we aren't having much luck. If and when we discover the location of where the hostages are being kept we will attempt a rescue."

"There will be no attempt. We will rescue Bones."

"Booth." Cullen warned.

"The picture. Let the squints have the picture." Booth demanded.

"Excuse me?" Donohue said.

"Bones' squints are amazing. If anyone can determine the location of the hostages from a picture the squints can."

"Sorry Agent Booth. That's against protocol."

"Bullshit Donohue." Booth snapped. "The squints work for us. They have the clearance."

"I don't think so."

"Look Donohue they can help. Please let them help find the hostages. Let them find my…let them find Bones."

"I'll keep you posted on our progress Agent Booth." Donohue said standing up and exiting the room.

"God Dammit. Son of a bitch." Booth muttered. "Why the hell won't he let the squints help?"

"I'll make some calls and see if I can pull some strings." Cullen said.

"Thank you sir. If that's all sir I need to get back to work."

"Actually it's not. Have a seat." Booth did as he was instructed. "By your strong reaction I'm sensing that there has been a change in your relationship with Dr. Brennan."

"She's my partner sir. I'm worried about her."

"It's more then partnership worry." Booth sighed and looked at his boss with tears in his eyes.

"I'm in love with her sir."

"Does she know that?" Booth nodded.

"She does."

"And how does she feel about it?"

"She feels the same way."

"How long has this been going on?"

"I've been in love with her for a long time but we've only recently acted on it."

"Acted on it?" Cullen raised his eyebrows.

"Yes sir. Acted on it." Booth rubbed his temples, trying to ward off the impending headache he felt coming on and then looked at his boss with tears in his eyes. "We just found each other on this amazing level and I… I can't lose her."

"Let me make some calls. You can go." Booth stood and walked to the door. The second he put his hand on the door handle Cullen spoke again. "Booth on a personal note." Booth turned around and faced his boss. "I'm really happy for you and Dr. Brennan. It's been a long time coming and you both deserve to happy and I'm going to do whatever I can to make sure she comes home alive."

"Thanks you sir." Booth said in a choked voice. "I'll be at the lab if you hear anything."

After he left Cullen's office he went over to The Jeffersonian. He knew that the squints didn't know what had happened to Bones so it was his job to tell them. He was the FBI liaison to The Jeffersonian but more importantly he was their friend and he owed it to them.

"G-man." Hodgins yelled from the platform when Booth walked in to the lab. "Do we have a case?"

"Maybe. Where is Cam and Ange?"

"Their offices I think. What's up?"

"Meet me in Bones' office in ten minutes."

"Uhhh okay." Hodgins mumbled as Booth walked away to round up Cam and Angela.

Seven minutes later the squints were sitting in Bones' office waiting for Booth to speak. They could tell something was going on because they could see the agony in his dark eyes.

"What happened G? Did you get fired?" Hodgins asked with a smirk and Booth glared at him.

"It's Brennan." Angela whispered.

"Now Angela, you know what Dr. Brennan says about jumping to conclusions. He hasn't said one word so you couldn't possibly know that Booth wants to talk to us about Dr. Brennan."

"His eyes are telling me. Look into his eyes and you can see the misery and worry. He only gets that way when Bren is concerned but I've never seen it this bad." Angela answered.

"She's right." Booth said miserably and Angela began to cry quietly. "Bones' anthropology group has been kidnapped and are being held hostage." Angela unconsciously reached out for Hodgins, who was sitting next to her while Booth told his friends what little he knew about Bones.

After the information sunk in Cam and Hodgins left the office to do what they do best, work. They were going to do what they could to try to help find Bones. Angela stayed in the office with Booth, staring at the pictures on the shelves throughout the office.

"This is a great picture of you two." She commented picking up a picture of Booth and Bones that was taken at a fundraiser.

"Yeah it's one of my favorites. I have that picture framed at home." In fact it was on his dresser. He had another one of just her on his nightstand that he put there after they made love so she would be the first thing he saw when he woke up and the last thing he saw when he feel asleep.

"You're in love with her aren't you?"

"Ange haven't we had this conversation already?"

"Yes but it was right after you woke up from your coma and you weren't sure if you were in love with the dream Brennan or the real Brennan?"

"I'm in love with Bones."

"Which one?"

"The real one Ange. The one that you love and are worried about."

"She loves you to. She'll never admit it though but she does love you Booth. I just hope that you find her so that one day she will be able to tell you how she really feels."

"She already has Ange." Booth whispered.

"Excuse me?"

"The morning that she left, at the airport, she told me that she loved me." He had tears rolling down his cheeks and Angela looked at him in shock.

"She didn't?" Booth nodded.

"The night before she left I went to her and I had to tell her how I felt before she left. I told her that I didn't except her to say it back but I wanted her to know that I loved her. She didn't say it back then. She just kissed me and we had an amazing night and then before she boarded her plane she told me that she loved me." Angela wrapped her arms around her friend's neck and hugged him tightly.

"I would be squealing in happiness right now if my best friend wasn't being held hostage by a group of maniacs." Angela pulled back and looked into Booth's eyes. "You have to find her Booth. She needs to experience being in love. Bring her home."

"I'm going to do whatever I can Angela."

"Booth." Cam had returned to the office. "There is an Agent Thompson here to see you. Should I have security send him up?"

"It's a her and yeah send her up. I'll be out in a minute." Cam nodded and disappeared while Booth wiped his eyes.

"Who is this agent Thompson?" Angela asked.

"She is from the terrorist force. How do I look?"

"Miserable but acceptable."

"Thanks Ange." He kissed her cheek and went into the lab.

"Hey Seeley. It's good to see you." Lauren Thompson said.

"Hi Lauren. How is the ninth floor treating you?"

"It's good. Unfortunately it keeps me busy."

"I hear that. So what brings you to the lab?"

"Agent Donohue requested that I take over the case. Something about he felt threatened in your presence." She grinned at him.

"Sorry if your friends with the guy but he's an ass."

"I'm not friends with him and I agree, he's an ass. He's the kind of agent that loves the big cases and gets pissy when he gets what he considers a small case."

"So let me ask you Lauren. This case is it a small one to you?"

"Seeley you know how I work. There is no such thing as a small thing case. Every hostage that is taken by a terrorist is someone important and that someone has someone that misses them, loves and cares for them so to answer your question Seeley this case is not small." Booth nodded his approval. "She's important to you isn't she, your partner?"

"She's my partner Lauren; of course she's important to me."

"I was your partner for three years Seeley and you've never threatened anyone about me." Lauren said with a grin.

"It's different with Bones Lauren."

"I need to know for the purpose of the case Seeley are you two just partners?"

"No Laur, we're not just partners."

"Thanks for your honesty. I heard that this lab can analyze the picture and maybe come up with something that my guys can't."

"They can. Thanks Laur." She handed Booth the picture and he rushed up the platform yelling for Angela and Hodgins as he went.

He explained what he had and what needed to be done and they jumped right on it. They wanted to do whatever they could to help find Bones. Booth stood over their shoulders for an hour driving them crazy until Lauren drug him off for coffee. She tried to talk to him and get him to talk but he wasn't cooperating. He was too busy being worried about Bones. Suddenly the ringing of Lauren's phone brought him out of his funk.

"Thompson. Yeah. Are you serious? I'm on my way." She closed her phone.

"What? Is there news about Bones?"

"We've gotten a video from them." Lauren got up from the table and Booth followed her.

"What did it show?"

"I haven't seen it so I don't know." She answered smartly.

"Well what the hell do you know?" Booth snapped.

"Nothing much until I see it."

"I'm coming with you."

"I don't think you should." He knew right then that the video was bad.

"Like hell I'm not." Lauren sighed, nodded and they made the way to the Hoover building.

"Okay what do we have?" Lauren asked walking into the conference room with Booth right behind her.

"We were emailed this video from the group that has the anthropologists. We've got techy's tracing where the e-mail originated from but so far it's just been bounced all over the place."

"Let's see the video." Lauren demanded.

Booth sat down as the video was uploaded. At first the image was fuzzy but it soon focused on two masked men restating their demands. They wanted their leader released from prison. They then said that until their demands were met they would kill a hostage a day. The men went off camera and then returned with two hostages, both had bags over their heads and their hands were shackled. Booth heard one of the hostages, a woman sobbing and then he heard a voice he knew very well.

"Leave her alone." Bones demanded from under the bag. The men placed the guns to their temples.

"Oh God." He whispered. "Bones."

"Pause it." Lauren said and the video was paused.

"What the hell?" Booth asked.

"Seeley you should go."

"I can't. It's her. It's Bones."

"You're too close to this. You need to leave."

"Laur…its Bones." Tears began to fall from his eyes.

"Come on." Lauren took his arm and led him out into the hall and forced him to sit down. "Cindy please bring Agent Booth a glass of water."

"Lauren." Booth said desperately.

"I need to finish the video. Please Seeley, stay here." He nodded through his tears. "I'll be back as soon as I have something to tell you."

Cindy brought him his water but he didn't want it. He just sat it on the empty seat next to him. From his chair outside the conference room he heard the video turn back on. They must have rewound it because he heard them threaten the hostages again, then the silence, then the poor woman sobbing, then Bones begging for her life and then he heard the gun being fired.

"Noooo." He roared. He grabbed a trashcan that was nearby and he puked over and over again until he had nothing left.

"Agent Booth is there anything I can do?" Cindy asked. He shook his head and went to the men's room.

"No Bones. Not you." He moaned through his tears. He locked the door, slid to the floor and cried like he had never cried before. He felt like his heart had been cruelly ripped out of his chest. There was a knock on the bathroom door but he ignored it.

"Seeley it's me. Open the door." Lauren said from the other side.

"Not now Lauren."

"It wasn't her."

"Dammit I know her voice. I know it was her." He sobbed.

"It was her but they didn't shot her. She is still alive." He jumped up and opened the bathroom door to face Lauren.

"What?"

"The bastards shot the other woman. Dr. Brennan is still alive."

"I need to see it." He rushed to the conference room, ignoring Lauren's pleas not to watch it. "Replay it." He demanded. "Start it right before he shot her." The tech glanced at Lauren and she nodded. A minute later the video picked up where Booth had last seen it. Even though he knew what was coming he still flinched and had the urge to vomit again when he saw that poor woman killed in front of his eyes. He could tell that Bones was sobbing.

"As you can tell we are serious." That bastard pulled the bag off of Bones' face and this time he did puke when he saw her bruised and battered face. "Maybe next time it will be this pretty little lady and that we would such a shame because we are having so much fun with her." Booth watched as Bones saw the body lying on the floor next to her.

"You son of a bitch." She screamed and she lunged at him. The bastards just laughed at her and ended the video.

"Did you see her? They've been beating her." He whispered softly.

"She's alive Seeley and that's what's important. Remember that." He nodded and wiped his eyes.

"She's alive." He said to himself.

"She's a pistol." Lauren commented.

"That's one word for her. She is the most amazing woman that I have ever met. I've never felt like this about anyone before. I have to get her back Laur. "

"I'll do my damndest." She promised.

That night he caught a couple of restless hours of sleep in his office but it was pointless because every time he managed to doze off he was plagued with nightmares about what was happening to Bones. He would hear her screaming and begging for him to save her in his dreams and then he would wake up in a cold sweat, heart racing and he would sob because he couldn't save her. When he was recovering from his latest nightmare his phone rang.

"Booth." He mumbled sleepily.

"We know where she is."

"Huh? Who the hell is this?" He was still half asleep.

"Booth its Cam. We know Dr. Brennan and the hostage's location."

"Are you sure?" He was wide awake know and filled with hope.

"100% sure."

_**Sorry for the delay in posting. Thanks so much for your support. Please continue to do so with a review. Thanks for reading.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

"God Dammit Lauren I'm going." Booth shouted at his old partner.

"No you're not." Lauren replied calmly. After working with Booth she was used to his flare of temper, especially if it was concerning something that he was passionate about and in this case he was definitely passionate about his current partner/girlfriend.

The F.B.I. with the help of the squints were able to confirm the location of the hostages and the F.B.I. and some Army specialists were going to rescue them and Booth was insisting that he accompany them.

"I'm a F.B.I. agent. I have every right to be there." Booth said in a calmer tone of voice. He knew yelling at Lauren would get him nowhere quickly. She responds better to calmness.

"A F.B.I. agent in homicide Seeley, not terrorism."

"I'm sniper trained and I know damn well that you guys are going to use snipers."

"I don't think so."

"Laur, I'm worthless right now and I know once you guys leave on this mission I will be even more worthless. Just ask Cullen, he'll verify. Please let me help. I know that I can do some good. It's Bones and I've got to be there for her." Lauren swore she saw tears shining in his brown eyes.

"Fine." She sighed. "I'll talk to Cullen and Marks. Go do something and I'll call you."

"I'll be at the lab." He suddenly pulled Lauren into his arms and engulfed her in a bear hug. "Thanks." He whispered.

"I'm not promising anything."

"I know you'll do your best."

Booth disappeared from Lauren's office and headed to the lab where he has been spending most of his free time. He felt closest to Bones there in her office. He didn't tell the squints about the video e-mail that the F.B.I. had received. He couldn't bring himself to share with them what he had saw or almost seen happen to her. For now he thought it was best if they were kept somewhat in the dark. He alone was the one to carry that burden.

An hour later Booth got the phone call from Cullen requesting that he meet him in his office. Booth was anxious because he knew it could go either way. He could be allowed to go and save the woman he loved or he could be forced to stay home and wait helplessly.

"I hear you want to go with the terrorist team to rescue the hostages." Cullen began.

"Yes sir."

"What was your last qualifying score?"

"Perfect as it always has been."

"You can go but you are under the supervision of Lauren." Booth opened his mouth to protest but the look Cullen shot him made him close it quickly. "If you don't agree to this then you can stay home."

"It's fine sir."

"If you fall out of line at all you will not have a job when you return. Do I make myself clear?" Booth nodded. "The only reason I am letting you go is because of Dr. Brennan's relationship with you and the F.B.I. She trusts you more than anyone and I know that she needs you right now. She is a valuable resource to us and a wonderful person so get your ass over there and save her."

"Yes sir."

--

Bones was body was being slammed against the table with every thrust that was pushed into her rectum. She gave up fighting and crying days ago. It was pointless. It wasn't stopping the rapes or the beatings so while she was being tormented sexually and physically she mentally went through the bones in the body to take her away from the pain and fear. She wanted to die. She begged them to kill her but they wouldn't. They were thoroughly enjoying her alive. She wouldn't be much fun to torture dead.

"What's wrong bitch? Am I not good enough for you?" Bones didn't answer him. She just lay limply on the table. "HEY! I'm talking to you." He grabbed her roughly by the arm and pulled her to her feet. "Was it good for you?" She stared at him for a minute and then answered him by spitting in his face. "You little bitch." He balled his hand into a fist and hit her hard in the face knocking her onto the floor. "I'm going to kill you." He sneered. He jumped on top of her and proceeded to punch her in every available portion of skin, which was a lot considering she was naked. Just as she began to lose consciousness her attacker was pulled off of her.

"Don't kill her yet."

"The bitch spit on me."

"You can kill her soon enough." She was grabbed by her arms and pulled over to the wall and handcuffed. "Bring him in." Another hostage, Brian was brought in and Bones turned her head and puked. She knew what this meant. They were going to kill him. He had tears streaming down his face and he was begging for his life. Bones closed her eyes. She couldn't watch another person die.

"Open your eyes." She kept her eyes closed tight so one of her captors grabbed her by the hair and forced her eyes opened with his hand. "You need to learn to listen."

"Fuck you. Did you hear that?" She spat.

"Maybe later sweetheart." He shoved a gun into her hand. "You have a job to do first. Kill him." She wanted to shoot both of her captors but the gun was in the hand that was handcuffed to the wall. Unlike Booth she could only shoot well with her right hand and the gun was placed in her left hand and because it was handcuffed she couldn't even move her hand to aim the gun at the bastards that were tormenting her. The only direction the gun was aimed at was Brian's head.

"I'm not killing him."

"You'll do what I say."

"Or what?"

"Let's just say that you'll regret it if you don't."

"Do whatever you want to me but I am not killing him."

"Last chance." Bones stood and glared at him. "Okay then." Bones watched in horror as the second man pulled out a knife and he stabbed Brian in the gut.

"Nooooo." She screamed as Brian collapsed to the ground, holding his gut. With the type of stab wound he had he was going to die slowly and painfully and it was her fault. She turned to face the wall but the man who wanted her to shoot Brian yanked her by her hair and turned her back around.

"You are going to watch him die."

"Please…"

"This is your fault so you have to watch him suffer and if I see you close your eyes I will stab him again. Do you understand?" She nodded and turned her crying eyes to Brian.

"I'm so sorry." She sobbed. "I didn't want this to happen." Bones reached out her hand to Brian but she couldn't reach so she couldn't even comfort him. For the next hour she watched the life slip away from Brian. She cried so hard at the end when his lungs filled with blood and he was essentially drowning.

"Please…tell my wife…kids…love them…and I…was…brave." He begged her with his last breath.

"I promise." When he died her tormentors started laughing and she lost it. "You evil sons of bitches." She screamed. "How could you? He didn't do anything to you. He had a wife and children. You took their dad away from them. What the hell is wrong with you?" She continued to yell and scream at them until the gagged her.

They left Brian's body in the room with Bones when they left to go have their dinner. Still gagged, she curled herself up in the corner and started at his body. She had no energy left to cry or to fight. She just wanted this nightmare to be over, one way or another. She knew that there would be no happy ending, that Booth would not be saving her like he has always done in the past. He didn't even know anything was wrong yet and for the first time in her life she prayed to Booth's God. She prayed that she would be dead before the sun rose. Bones was never a woman to give up on anything but she knew what the next day would bring. Those bastards would bring in someone else and force her to kill them and if she didn't then they would be forced to die a slow painful death and she would have to watch and she could not live with another death on her hands.

"Please God…let me die tonight." She whispered into the darkness.

--

"I've got two men in front of the cabin standing guard." Sam Crawley's voice came through Booth's ear piece. "Both armed with AK47's."

"I've got one walking the perimeter, also armed with a 47." That was Jack Harmon.

"I've seen two men in the shack. A minute ago they both retreated inside and they also are armed with the 47's." Booth spoke into the microphone on his wrist.

"Any signs of the hostages?" Lauren asked.

"Negative." The three men answered.

"As soon as the five of the them are outside together take your shots. Don't shot until they are all five outside because we can't risk taking a shot if any of them are inside any of those buildings with the hostages. If they hear a shot they will kill the hostages. Do you copy?" Lauren asked

"Copy."

"Sam you take out the two in front of the cabin, Booth you take out the two at the shack and Jack you take out the lone gunman walking the perimeter and either man that Booth or Sam can't get. Copy?"

"Copy."

"All right gentleman. Let's be patient."

For the next hour the three men and Lauren waited patiently or more accurately Jack, Sam and Lauren waited patiently and Booth was impatient. He wasn't doing anything to risk the rescue mission but the waiting was killing him. He needed to see her. He needed to know that she was alive. His gut was telling him that she was still alive but he had, no he needed to see her.

"Additional movement coming from the house." Sam said and Booth moved his rifle to his left so he could peer through the scope. When Booth saw a sobbing woman being drug across the dirt his heart seemed to freeze in his chest until he realized that the woman was not Bones.

"Hold your fire." Lauren said.

Booth sensed movement coming from his right and he moved his rifle back and saw the door to the shack was being opened. "Movement coming from the shack." Booth mumbled into his microphone.

"Hold your fire." Lauren repeated.

Suddenly an image appeared in the doorway. Booth could tell it was a female and she was dragging something. The terrorists spoke to the other woman who went into the shack and a minute late both women were carrying a body. "Bones" He whispered. As soon as she stepped out into the sunlight he immediately recognized her. Even from a distance he could see how badly she had been beaten. He wanted to puke but he knew he had to hold it together if he had any hope of saving her life.

"Laur it's her. The second woman. It's Bones."

"I got her Seeley."

"What the hell are they doing?" Jack mumbled.

"One of them has a shovel so it looks like they are making the ladies bury the body." Sam answered.

"We have four of the five of them together. Now would be our best chance to take a shot but only if the hostages are out of harm's way. Jack your target is the one still guarding the house. Booth and Sam, you two have the four at the grave. Booth you take out the two closest to the hostages and Sam you've got the other two."

"Roger that."

"Don't fire until I give the order." Lauren ordered.

"Copy that."

Booth watched through his scope as Bones and the other woman started digging a hole to bury the body in. His trigger finger was itchy. He wanted to put a bullet in the head of the bastards who dared to lay a hand on his Bones. He wanted to put a bullet in the heads of the men who killed the innocent civilians. They didn't deserve to die but these bastards do. He could see the conversations and laughter between the men as the woman dug the hole. He clenched his jaw as one of the men walked over to Bones and grabbed her breasts.

"Easy Seeley." Lauren warned. She had seen what Booth had just witnessed.

"Did you see what he just did to her?"

"Down boy." Sam commented. Sam couldn't really blame Booth. If it was the woman he loved down there he knew that he wouldn't have the restraint that Booth was displaying.

Suddenly the man who was roughly fondling Bones turned his attention to the other woman. "Get your filthy hands off of her." Booth heard Bones scream. When the fondler ignored Bones' request and reached for the other woman's breasts Bones picked up her shovel. "I said get the hell away from her." Booth could hear her screams loud and clear. "What the hell are you going to do to stop us bitch?" Bones raised her shovel in the air. The men just laughed at her and then shoved the other woman to the ground and all four of them marched towards Bones. "Stay away from me." She shouted but they didn't stop. When one lunged at her she swung the shovel at his head and he immediately fell to the ground.

"Now. Take your shots." Lauren ordered. In quick succession four shots rang out and the four men dropped. "Booth with me to the grave. Sam and Jack find any hostages."

--

Bones stood there frozen in place staring at the body that was lying dead in front of her. She was confused by what had just transpired. Rationally, she knew that her captors had just been shot and killed but she couldn't figure out who had shot them. She didn't see anyone around with a gun. Tracy's screams forced her back to reality. Grabbing one of the discarded guns for her and Tracy's protection she rushed over to her. Sitting on the ground beside Tracy, Bones took the sobbing woman in her arms.

"It's over Tracy. They're all dead."

"I want to go home." Tracy sobbed.

"So do I." Suddenly Bones heard the sound of someone running up to them. She quickly grabbed the gun that she had laid down and lifted it. "Don't come any closer." She shouted, pointing the gun at the man and woman who were running towards them. "I said stop or I will shoot you." She yelled.

"Bones…it's me." Booth said and Bones shook her head.

"No. No. No. How did you find out about my…about that name?"

"I gave you that name. It's me Booth."

"I don't know you." She screamed. The man in front of her was not Booth. She would know if it was him. This stranger had dark green and brown paint on his face and he was filthy and besides Booth didn't know what was had happened or where she was. He wouldn't, he couldn't be here.

"Bones look at me. You know who I…" Booth froze as a bullet whizzed past his ear. As he was speaking he was taking small steps to her.

"I said don't come any closer. I purposely missed but if you take another step the next bullet won't miss." Lauren reached out and placed her hand on Booth's arm silently telling him to stay still because she believed that if he moved, he would get shot.

"Dr. Brennan my name is Lauren Thompson and I work for the F.B.I. In fact I used to be partners with Seeley here. You are safe now. We aren't going to hurt you. We have a medical team on the way to help you."

"No. It's not possible. Booth doesn't know..." Booth could see her resolve crashing.

"The men who held you sent the F.B.I. an e-mail and a video with their demands. We saw them kill that woman."

"But how…how did you find us?"

"Your team at The Jeffersonian found you. From the picture they were able to locate you. Dr. Hodgins, Angela, Cam, they are all very worried about you."

"We're safe? We can go home?" Tears began to fall from Bones' eyes.

"Absolutely. Now how about you put the gun down?" Booth held his breath as Bones slowly lowered the gun but the second she heard Sam and Jack coming towards them she lifted it up again and pointed it at them.

"Stop. Let them go."

"Dr. Brennan they are with us." Lauren said. She nodded at Booth who slowly walked up behind Bones. "It's okay."

"No it's not. I don't know you. I don't trust you." With another nod from Lauren, Booth reached around Bones and quickly grabbed the gun out of her hands. "Don't touch me" she screamed.

"Bones…" He tried to wrap his arms around her, to calm her down but it just made things worse. She struggled against him, punching him in his chest, kicking him in his shins. He had never seen her like this and it scared the hell out of him. "STOP IT." He yelled, gripping by the arms. "Look at me. You know me and you know that I would never hurt you. Please, look at me." She finally stopped struggling. "I know I have all of this crap on my face but look into my eyes. You'll recognize my eyes." She lifted her tear filled eyes to his.

"Booth? Is it really you?" Before he could answer her question her eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out in his arms.

"Laur…where the hell is medical?" He shouted. "She passed out."

"They should be here any minute." Booth slowly lowered himself and Bones to the ground.

"Come on Bones, hang in there. I'm here now and I'm going to take you home so don't quit fighting." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come and find you. Thanks for hanging on until I got here. I love you so much."

"Seeley medical is here. They need to examine her." Lauren said softly.

"Look at what they did to her." He said tearfully. Every exposed piece of skin was covered with a bruise.

"Seeley let the medics do their job." Booth slowly released his arms from around her and the medics lifted her onto a gurney.

"Please be gentle with her." He begged, following them.

"Seeley I need to talk to you."

"I'm not leaving her." Lauren grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side. "What the hell?"

"You aren't going with her."

"Like hell I'm not."

"I need you here with me going over the scene. I'm sending Jack and Sam to the hospital with the hostages to take their statements."

"Let one of them stay here and I'll go. I need to be with Bones."

"That's exactly why you are staying here. You're to close to one of the victims. When we agreed to let you come on this mission it wasn't just to rescue Dr. Brennan and leave. We have a job to finish and part of that job is to stay here and work the scene so Seeley you are going to stay here and work the damn scene with me. Do I make myself clear?" Lauren may look sweet and innocent but she could be real tough when she wanted to. Booth sighed and walked over to the gurney.

"I'll be with you as soon as I can sweetheart." He leaned down and kissed her unresponsive lips and then he returned to Lauren. "Let's do this."

--

During the scene investigation Booth and Lauren had discovered the bodies of four hostages. Three of them had single gunshot wounds to the head and one had a stab wound to the abdomen which didn't make a lot of sense to either of them. Why did they stab one person and not the others? Hopefully one of the hostages or Bones could answer that question. When they checked out the small house they found nothing significant. They easily found the room where the hostages were kept. It was a really small room for ten people and surprisingly there were no ropes or chains to be seen so at least they weren't tied up. There was a bucket that contained urine and feces. That had to of been humiliating for them. When Booth and Lauren walked into the shack that Bones was brought out of Booth wanted to vomit. He saw ropes and handcuffs and blood splattered throughout the room. When the techs used the black lights they found a lot more blood and semen. What really broke Booth's heart was the semen that was mixed with the blood because in his mind that only meant one thing.

"Oh…God." He rushed out of the shack and puked.

"Seeley?"

"Oh…God…Laur…she was…" He couldn't even bring himself to say the word.

"You don't know that. You shouldn't jump to conclusions."

"I'm not jumping." He shouted. "She was brought out of this piece of shit shack. She freaked the hell out when I touched her, screaming "don't touch me". One of those bastards grabbed her breasts…like he had done it before. Semen and blood equals rape Lauren. All of this points to rape." Lauren didn't say anything because she knew that Booth was right. "Oh my god. She was raped." Lauren reached out for him but he jerked away from her; his eyes wild with agony and fury. "I need to get to her."

"We're done here and you are officially off the case. You're only job now is to take care of your girlfriend." Lauren said gently.

"Thank you."

--

"Dr. Brennan I'm Agent Jack Harmon. I want to ask you some questions. Are you feeling up to it?" She had regained consciousness after the doctor gave her some IV fluids.

"I'm fine."

"So can you describe for me what happened on the first day you arrived in the country and encountered the men that kidnapped you?" Bones recounted in great detail to Agent Harmon what happened when the masked men boarded the bus. "I was told that on the first day of your captivity you were taken away from the group and you never returned. Is that correct?"

"Yes that's correct."

"Why did they separate you?"

"I don't know. I would suggest asking the men who took us but since they are all dead my suggestion would be pointless."

"What happened to you once you were separated from the group?"

"Nothing pertinent to the case." She mumbled.

"I disagree. We got a video e-mail showing that the first hostage was killed in the shack that we determined that you were being held in while you stood next to her. We found multiple blood stains and I'm sure once we get them tested we will find out that they are from the other three hostages that were killed."

"That is an accurate statement."

"So they were killed in the shack where you were being held?" Bones nodded. "Why? Why didn't they kill them outside?"

"I DON'T KNOW." She shouted.

"Dr. Brennan why was one of the men, Brian Michaels stabbed instead of shot like the others?"

"I want to be left alone."

"I will after you answer my question. Why was Brian stabbed and not shot?" Tears began to fall from her eyes. "Dr. Brennan? We need to know."

"It was my fault that he was stabbed."

"Did you stab him? Did they force you to stab him?"

"They forced me to shot him and when I refused they stabbed him. He died slowly and painfully because of me."

"No Dr. Brennan. Brian died slowly and painfully because he was stabbed by some monsters."

"Because I wouldn't shoot him."

"What happened to you in that shack?"

"Please leave."

"Dr. Brennan it's important that you tell me what happened."

"It's not important. As I stated previously it is not pertinent to the case."

"Dr. Brennan…"

"Get the hell out of my room."

"I'm glad you're safe Dr. Brennan." Jack said standing and leaving the room.

"So how is she? Did she say anything?" Booth asked as soon as Jack stepped out of the room.

"Not much more than we already knew. Her story matches up with the other hostages stories but we now we know why Brian was stabbed and not shot."

"Why?" Lauren asked.

"According to Dr. Brennan they tried to force her to kill him and when she refused they stabbed him so he would die slowly and painfully. She blames herself." Jack said.

"Of course she does." Booth said. "What about the rape? Did she say anything about it?"

"She refused to talk about it."

"That doesn't surprise me."

"Booth if she really was raped then she is going to need some help to get through it. Is there someone at home she trusts that she can talk to?" Jack said.

"I'll help her through it."

"No offense Booth but she needs a professional."

"No offense Jack, but you don't know me or Bones. If anyone can help her it's me." Booth turned on his heel and marched into Bones' hospital room and found her sleeping.

"Hey sweetheart." He whispered sitting beside her. "I'm sorry you were hurt. I promise that I'm going to do whatever you need me to do to help you get better." He placed his hand on her head and he gently began running his fingers through her dirty hair. Suddenly her body jerked, she sat up, and her eyes were wild with fear.

"Don't touch me you slimy bastard." She screamed as she punched Booth in the jaw. He tightly wrapped his arms around her.

"Bones It's me. It's Booth. I'm not going to hurt you." Her eyes focused on Booth's and she went limp in his arms. "It's okay. I'm here now and I'm going to keep you safe." He whispered as he cradled her in his arms. He leaned down and attempted to kiss her. As soon as his lips neared hers her body stiffened and she turned her face away from his.

"I want to go home." She said pulling out of his embrace.

"Bones you need to be checked out by the doctor."

"I don't need an examination Booth. I know exactly what's wrong with me. Every one of my ribs is either broken or bruised. My zygomatic bone is broke as is my wrist. I'm going to need surgery on my cheek and my wrist hasn't been set and already began to heal and it's going to have to be rebroken so it can be set correctly and heal properly."

"Bones I don't think…"

"I don't care what you think Booth." She pulled herself out of bed and as soon as her feet hit the floor her body began to sway and she would have fallen to the floor if Booth's quick reflexes hadn't reached out and caught her.

"You almost passed out Bones. You need to be checked out." She quickly pulled away from him and returned to the bed.

"I will have a full physical exam once I get home. I just want to get the hell out of the this god-forsaken country and I want to get out now so are you going to assist me or am I going to do this on my own?" He knew this tone of voice well and he knew it was pointless to argue with her because he knew she would do it on her own.

"What can I do?"

"I need some clothes. Find me some clothes while I make the flight arrangements."

"I'll help you but I don't think that this is the smartest thing to do."

"Your opinion has been noted and taken into consideration."

"Gee thanks for that Bones." She sent him a confused look and he just sighed. "I'll be back with some clothes."

"Thank you." She whispered softly as he left the room.

As Booth stood in the hall waiting for a nurse to bring Bones some clothes he played back their conversation. This was not the same woman that had left him three weeks ago but he knew this woman well. She had reverted back to the woman she was when they first met, cold and distant. She had built her walls back up that he worked so hard to tear down but he really couldn't blame her after the hell he could only imagine she had been through.

He stood in the hall watching her on the phone and he realized that he was scared. He was scared for Bones and the long road to recovery she had ahead of her. He was scared that he wouldn't be able to help her, that she wouldn't let him back in. He was scared that he has lost his best friend and the woman he loved and what scared him the most was he didn't know if he could get her back.

_**Thanks for reading. Please review. **_


	4. Chapter 4

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

Any other time Booth would have enjoyed the first class seats that Bones had booked for the flight home but not this time. Bones took the window seat and if she wasn't sleeping she was just staring out the window. The few times that he tried to hold her hand or touch her in any way she flinched and pulled away from him. His attempts at conversation proved to be just as unsuccessful. Whenever she did answer his questions they were short one word answers. He could tell she was uncomfortable and in a fair amount of pain, although she would never admit to it. She was constantly moving around in her seat and grimacing in pain when she thought he wasn't looking. Being one that had experienced broken ribs before he knew that sitting still for hours on the plane was not helping her situation at all. A few times when she was sleeping she was whimpering so he gently shook her awake because he didn't want her to experience a full-fledged nightmare on the plane and when she woke up he was intently reading a magazine like nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Bones you don't look so good. Are you okay?" Booth asked gently. They were landing shortly and he even though he knew it would piss her off that he was asking about her health, he was worried about her and couldn't put it off any longer.

"When the hell are we landing?" She snapped, ignoring his question altogether.

"We are in our final descent."

"Thank God. I just want to go home and lay down."

"You're not going home. You're going to the hospital."

"Excuse me?" She shot her head around and glared at him. "I am a grown woman who is capable of making my own decisions. I don't need some man telling me what I am and am not doing." She seethed through clenched teeth.

"I am not just some man Bones. I am the man who loves you." He watched as she bit her upper lip and turned her head away from him. "And anyways you made the decision when you left the hospital. You agreed that you would get treated as soon as we arrived in the states and dammit that's what you are going to do. I've made arrangements for an ambulance to meet us at the airport."

"How dare you drag me off to a hospital Seeley Booth?"

"If I recall you drug me off to a hospital because you thought something was wrong with me."

"There was something wrong. You had a brain tumor."

"And there is something really wrong with you Bones. You don't look good, you look sick." Booth lowered his voice to a whisper and proceeded to talk. "Some really bad things happened to you and you…"

"You have no idea what the hell happened to me." She shot back.

"I would if you would tell me and let me help you." He reached out for her hand but she yanked it away from him.

"I don't need your help. I don't need anyone's help so just back off and leave me the hell alone."

"No." He said simply.

"I beg your pardon."

"Beg my pardon all you want sweetheart but I'm not going anywhere. I love you and I made a commitment to you with my heart to love you forever so you are stuck with me."

"Don't call me sweetheart." She muttered.

"Buckle your seatbelt Bones. It's time to land." Glaring at Booth she buckled her seatbelt and then resumed her position staring out the window until the plane came to a stop.

"Excuse me ladies and gentleman." The captain's voice came over the plane.

"Now what?" Bones snapped.

"We have a medical emergency so we ask that all passengers please remain seated until the emergency has been taken care of. Thank you for your patience."

"Dammit I just want off of this plane." Bones mumbled as a pair of paramedics came into first class pushing a stretcher. Booth stood up. "Booth what the hell are you doing?" She got her answer a second later when he waved them over to them.

"Is this the patient Dr. Temperance Brennan?"

"Yes sir." Booth answered.

"This is absolutely unnecessary." Bones said. "I m perfectly capable of walking out of here on my own."

"Sorry Dr. Brennan but policy is you have to be wheeled out on a stretcher but we can compromise. You can walk over to the stretcher."

"This is ridiculous. I don't need an ambulance. Booth could have driven me to the hospital."

"Come on Bones. Up and at 'em." Shooting him a death glare she slowly and painfully rose to her feet and the second she was perpendicular she became extremely dizzy. She felt her vision becoming faint and voices were becoming distant. Unable to stop herself she collapsed, unconscious into Booth's arms. "Oh my God. Bones. What the hell just happened? She was fine."

"Sir we need to get her onto the stretcher." Booth helped lay Bones on the stretcher and stood by helplessly as he watched them give her some oxygen on her, check her pulse and blood pressure." "Does she have high blood pressure?"

"No. Not that I know of. She's very healthy."

"Well she does now. Her blood pressure is 210/124."

"Is that bad?"

"It's not good. Let's move." As Booth followed the paramedics and Bones out of the plane his heart was pounding in his chest. He knew that he should of done something more to make her stay at the hospital and if something happened to her because he let her get her way he would never forgive himself.

--

"Dr. Brennan we have your test results." Dr. Allen said walking into the room.

"It's about time." Bones muttered. They had been at the hospital for over three hours and they had been running multiple tests on Bones since she arrived. On the ride over in the ambulance she regained consciousness and all that remained from her "episode" was a horrible headache.

"Dr. Brennan you have a multitude of injuries so I'm going to begin with the most severe first and work my way down." Booth was waiting for Bones to kick him out of the room but so far she hadn't so he just sat in his chair quietly listening. "We have discovered the reason for your high blood pressure which is why you passed out on the plane. During your attack your kidneys were damaged and right now at this point they are not functioning as they should be. Your kidney function is very low, approximately 10-15% and none of the toxins from your bloodstream is being filtered out. From the amount of urine that we cathed from you it looks like you aren't urinating much at all."

"You know I don't recall her going to the bathroom once on the plane." Booth spoke up.

"Booth, stay out of it." Bones snapped and Booth quietly sighed.

"Because you have been unable to relive yourself your body has an excess amount of blood volume and therefore your heart has to work harder thus the higher blood pressure."

"So what can you do for her?" Booth asked ignoring the glare that was sent his way.

"We're going to start you on a diuretic to help get rid of the excess fluid plus a couple of high blood pressure medications. You're also going to need to go on dialysis three times a week until your kidney's return to normal functioning."

"What is dialysis?" Booth inquired.

"Booth! I know what it is."

"Well I don't." He snapped right back at her.

"Dialysis is a process that does the work of the kidneys for her. The machine will remove her blood, clean it out and put it back in."

"And how long will she have to do this?"

"Anywhere from four to six months." Bones didn't respond. She just sat there staring at her lap.

"Now for your other injuries Dr. Brennan." Dr. Allen launched into a detailed description, including hanging her x-rays up in the room for her to view on her wrist that was fractured in for places, her cheek that was broke, the seven of her twelve ribs that weren't bruised but broken and the hairline fracture that he found on her jaw as well and the surgeries that she would have to go through to heal. While the doctor spoke Bones just continued to stare at her lap. She didn't even look at her x-rays which really shocked Booth.

"Dr. Brennan we now need perform a rape exam." Dr. Allen said softly and Bones finally reacted. Her head shot up and she glared at Booth.

"You told him. How dare you tell him? The…it has nothing to do with what is wrong with me." Booth could see the tears shining in her eyes, threatening to fall.

"He asked for your history and I gave it to him."

"You had no right. No right at all." A single tear fell from her eye.

"Dr. Brennan it is very important. There could be some internal damage. We need to do an exam. Now if you prefer I can get a female physician to do the exam but it needs to be done."

"I don't want it done."

"You need to be checked for STD's." Booth saw Bones flinch. "And you know the only way to do that is by a pelvic exam. If I don't do the pelvic then I can't confirm or deny the presence of a STD and if you have one and it goes untreated then you could die."

"Just treat me then."

"We can't do that because of antibiotic resistance."

"Fine." She finally relented.

"Would you feel more comfortable with a female physician?"

"What the hell does it matter?" She muttered. "You can do it."

"I'll…umm…I'll wait in the hall." Booth mumbled.

Suddenly Bones' chest tightened with nervous anxiety. The thought of Booth leaving her alone with this doctor, a man, terrified her. As flashbacks of her rape quickly flashed through her mind she felt her heart rate begin to speed up, her palms became sweaty, she began to breathe faster. She closed her eyes to try to calm herself but it wasn't working. In fact it was making her worse. She couldn't get the images of those men, on top of her, breathing on her, and thrusting themselves inside of her out of her mind. "BOOTH." She shouted when he got to the door. He stopped and turned back to her. "Stay." She requested. Even though it made no logical sense to her because it was the male gender that raped her and she terrified to be alone in this room with the doctor she wanted Booth to stay with her. She always felt safe with him. He did after all find and rescue her when she lost all hope. He was her protector and he would protect her.

"Of course." He returned to her bedside, pulled a chair next to her bed and faced it so his back was to the doctor during the exam. Even though she didn't verbalize it she was so grateful for the simple action of not watching the exam.

Dr. Allen was very gentle during the pelvic exam, telling her what he was doing at all times and where his hands were so she wouldn't be surprised. Bones had never had a problem with pelvic exams before but as soon as Dr. Allen inserted the speculum she whimpered in pain. "Dr. Brennan, just relax." Dr. Allen said. She hated that she had been reduced to this whimpering woman she had become.

Booth desperately wanted to reach out and touch her, comfort her but he knew that he would scare her if he tried so he just sat helplessly next to her. Her eyes were squeezed shut but tears still managed to escape and fall down her cheeks. When he heard her plea of "please stop" he knew she was no longer in the hospital room; that she was back in that horrible place being tortured and his heart broke for her.

"All done Dr. Brennan." Dr. Allen said pulling the speculum out. "I got the swabs I needed and I should have the results in a couple of days." Bones slowly opened her eyes and returned to the hospital room where Booth was sitting next to her. "I need to ask was there any anal penetration?" Bones turned her head glanced at Booth, shame written all over her face and then she hung her head in embarrassment.

"Oh Bones." He whispered, swallowing back the bile that was rising up his throat.

"I'll need to do a rectal exam." Bones didn't even argue. She lay back on the bed and rolled onto her side so she was facing Booth but she refused to look at him. She cried out in pain when the doctor inserted the rectal probe and this time she reached out for Booth's hand. She didn't want to go back to that place again and she hoped that by holding Booth's hand she would stay. "Dr. Brennan were you penetrated with anything other than a penis?" Dr. Allen asked. When she ignored the question Dr. Allen got his answer.

"Oh my god." Booth mumbled quietly. It was even worse than he had imagined.

"Okay Dr. Brennan. I'm all done. You can go ahead and sit up." Bones pulled her hand away from Booth's and pulled herself into an upright position. "Now I want to tell you what I found. I took some swabs but from the vaginal discharge that I see I'm ninety percent sure that you have gonorrhea, Chlamydia, or maybe both but the swabs will confirm it. There is significant tearing, bruising and trauma to the vagina and anus but that should all heal on it's on. What concerns me is that there appears to be an infection in your rectum probably from whatever penetrated you. It's very red, inflamed and there is a yellow drainage that appears to be pus from the wound. I'm starting you IV antibiotics right away for that. Do you understand?" She just nodded. "Do you recall when you had your last period?"

"Before I left…oh my god. No. Please…" Booth's eyes widened as the meaning of Dr. Allen's question and her answer finally sunk in.

"I discovered that your cervix is closed during your pelvic exam, a sure indication of pregnancy."

"No. You have made a mistake."

"I will confirm it with a blood test but it will help me to know when your last period was."

"I. Don't Remember." She shouted. "I've had other things on my mind.

"Of course. I apologize."

"This blood test can it tell me exactly how pregnant I am?"

"Yes."

"Does it matter Bones?" She whipped her head around to face him.

"Yes it matters Booth because if it happened during…while I was…I want it out of me."

"It's a baby Bones. An innocent child."

"The probability of this child being yours is very small since you used a condom and I was on the pill when we had sex so you have no say it what I do. Doctor can an abortion be arranged once the blood test confirm gestational age?"

"Yes."

"Bones you need to slow down and think about this."

"Think about it?" She screamed at him. "Are you kidding me? The thought of what is inside of me and how it got there makes me sick and I want it out of me." She began hitting herself in the stomach. Booth reached out and grabbed her hands to stop her but she roughly pushed him away. "I want it out. Get it out of me. Get it out of me." She screamed over and over.

Dr. Allen called in a nurse who quickly came in and injected a sedative into Bones' IV. Booth stood beside her bed as the sedative took affect with tears streaming down his face. He couldn't believe he had been such a selfish bastard and suggested that she actually think about what steps to take. He believed that every child was a gift of from God and he didn't believe in abortion but he had never been in this situation before. He couldn't imagine being in her shoes, being pregnant by one of the men who brutality raped and beat her for weeks. After the doctor left Booth sat back on the chair next to her bed, clutched her hand and cried. He cried for what the woman he loved had gone through. He cried because he couldn't get to her sooner and save her. He cried because she was hurt and he didn't know how to help her.

--

"Ow." Bones moaned as she opened her eyes.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" Booth asked her softly.

"What are you still doing here?" She asked him sleepily.

"Where else would I be?"

"I want you to leave."

"Why Bones? I want to be here."

"I…I…please just go." Booth was becoming frantic. He didn't understand why she was pushing him away.

"No." He simply said and Bones sighed. He could be so damn infuriating.

"This is my room and I don't want you here."

"Why? Just tell me what the hell I did."

"It's not you. It's me."

"My god that is so damn cliché Bones." He snapped.

"Get the hell out of my room."

"Don't push me away Temperance."

"Dammit Booth why won't you listen to me?" She shouted.

"I will listen if you would actually say something besides get the hell out of my room." He shouted back.

"I know that you are disgusted with me and I…"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I can see the disgust in your eyes. I probably have STD's. I have an infection in my ass and I'm getting an abortion and I know how you feel about abortion. Hell, I'm disgusted with myself."

"You aren't disgusting. None of this is your fault and I apologize for what I said earlier about the pregnancy. I just didn't think…"

"No Booth you didn't think. You didn't think that if I had this child then I would have to spend the rest of my life looking at the face of one of the men who…" She couldn't bring herself to say the word rape out loud, not even to Booth.

"Oh my god Bren." Neither of them heard Angela come into the room.

"How long have you been eavesdropping?" Bones snapped.

"Sweetie I…" Angela was interrupted when a nurse walked into the room with a wheelchair.

"Dr. Brennan it's time for your first dialysis treatment." She came over and helped Bones out of bed and into the wheelchair.

"I don't want you here when I return." Bones said staring at Booth. The nurse began to wheel Bones out of the room but Angela stepped in front of the wheelchair. She knelt down and took her friends hand in her own.

"What happened Bren?" Angela asked softly

"Why don't you ask him? He has no problem telling everyone what happened. In fact Booth, why don't you take out a front page ad in the newspaper?"

"Come on Bones. You're being ridiculous."

"Let's go." Bones said to the nurse. As soon as Bones was out of the room Angela turned to Booth with tears streaming down her face.

"How bad is it?" She asked him.

"It's bad Ange. It's really bad." Booth told her sadly.

--

"Is this seat taken?" Angela asked her friend. She had found her way to the dialysis unit so she could sit with Bones during her treatment.

"Why are you here?" Bones asked.

"I want to be. May I sit?" When she didn't answer Angela just sat in the empty seat. "How are you sweetie?"

"Wonderful Angela. Thanks for asking."

"Because you are my friend and you have been through hell over the past few weeks I'll give your smart ass answers a free pass but you only get so many of those passes Bren."

"So Booth told you what happened?" Fury was burning in her blue eyes.

"No actually he didn't. He said that it wasn't his place to tell me what happened to you."

"That's a first since he has told everyone else."

"He told your doctor Bren. That's it. Your doctor needed your history so he could treat you to the best of his ability." Angela defended Booth.

"Of course. Booth is perfect. How could I forget?"

"Why are you being such a bitch to Booth? What the hell did he do to you?"

"Excuse me? You have no right…"

"I do have a right. It's my right as your friend Bren to tell you when you are being a bitch to a great guy."

"You have no idea…"

"I have some idea Bren. Sure I don't know the exact horrible details of the hell you endured but by looking at the bruises that are covering your body and from the conversation that I walked in on I have a pretty damn good idea." Angela had tears streaming down her face.

"It was horrible." Bones admitted softly and tearfully.

"I can't even begin to imagine what you went through Bren."

"No you can't. It's unimaginable."

"I want to help you Bren. I want to do whatever I can for you but I'm not the one who can help you."

"I don't need or want help."

"You may not want it sweetie but you sure need it."

"I'm fine." Bones whispered her voice and chin trembling.

"We have been best friends for years but not anymore."

"What are you talking about Angela? You are still my best friend."

"No I'm not. Booth has taken over that role in your life and I'm okay with that. Booth is your best friend and you are his and sweetie, he is the one that can help you if you just let him." Bones turned her head away from her friend so Angela wouldn't see her tears that were falling. Angela reached out and took her hand, reminding her without words that she wasn't alone.

"Something wonderful happened." Bones finally whispered turning back towards Angela.

"Bren?"

"Before I left something wonderful and amazing, something that I never expected happened between me and Booth. I left feeling so happy, so fulfilled but now I'm not the same woman I was a month ago."

"Of course you're not the same woman. No one expects you to be but one day you can become that woman again."

"No…no I can't."

"Yes you can. You are the strongest woman I know."

"You don't understand Angela. Some of the things that I am going to do, the things that I allowed to be done to me he will think …he thinks I'm a disgusting horrible person and he'll never look at or feel the same way about me again. Hell, I think or know that I'm a horrible disgusting person." Angela's heart was breaking at those words her friend spoke.

"You didn't allow those horrible things to happen to you. Whatever happened to you was forced sweetie."

"You weren't there. You don't understand."

"Maybe not but one thing I do know is you are not a horrible disgusting person and I know that Booth doesn't think that either. He loves you sweetie and I know you love him."

"It doesn't matter what I thought I felt or what Booth thinks he feels. None of it matters anymore."

"Bren what are you saying?"

"I just want everything to be like it was before."

"After what you have been through nothing will ever be like it was before but with Booth's help things can be better then it was."

"I appreciate what you are trying to do Angela but I don't need Booth's help or anyone's help. I'm fine."

"I don't believe that and I don't think that you do either." Angela said softly.

"Physically I'm not fine but I will be and as soon as I'm out of the hospital and back at work everything will be fine. I will be fine."

"Bren…"

"I just want to be left alone to process, it's what I do best I process so please respect that and leave this whole situation and me alone."

"I love you sweetie and I don't know if I can do that."

"If that is true then you will do as I ask. It's what I need right now Ange. I need to be alone."

"Why? Why do you want to be alone when you have people, friends that love and want to help you?" Angela asked desperately.

"Because alone I can't hurt anyone and I can't get hurt."

"Oh sweetie." Bones pulled her hand away from Angela's.

"Please go Ange."

"I…I…don't want to." Angela cried.

"Don't make this any harder then it has to be Angela. All I'm asking for is time alone. Is that really to much to ask?"

"I guess not." Angela stood and grabbed her purse. "When you decide that you need me, I'm just a phone call away."

"Would you please tell Booth that I want to be left alone?"

"I would do most anything for you sweetie but not this. If you want Booth to leave you alone then you need to tell him yourself." Angela bent down and kissed her friend's cheek. "I love you Bren."

--

Angela called Booth after she left the hospital and she shared the conversation that she and Bones had. After he had a shower, called Parker to check in and grabbed some dinner he returned to the hospital knowing it would be easier just to say home and away from her like she wanted but that was the last thing he was going to do.

"Hey Bones. You look better. That dialysis must be working." He said walking into her room.

"I'm tired and I would like to get some sleep."

"Have you had dinner yet?" He asked ignoring her sleep comment.

"I'm not hungry."

"Regardless, hungry or not you still need to eat so you can get your strength up."

"I am not a child Booth and you are not my parent so don't tell me what to do."

"I'm just looking out for you Bones. I just want you to get better."

"I don't want you looking out for me. I don't need you looking out for me. I'm fine." She yelled.

"Yeah Bones you're fine."

"Just go away Booth. I don't need you here."

"Push as hard as you want but I'm not going anywhere."

"Why can't you understand that I just want to be left alone?" She was still yelling at him and now her tears were flowing.

"Bones I love you and I want to be here for you." He reached out for her but she flinched away from him. "See you are afraid of me and you know, deep down that I would never hurt you."

"I don't know what I know anymore." She sobbed.

"You know me Bones and you know that you can trust me." She turned her head away from Booth and sobbed quietly. Booth sat on the edge of her bed, placed his hand on her arm and when she didn't pull away from him he gently pulled her to his chest and she didn't resist. He wrapped an arm around her and held her tightly while she sobbed.

"You're not going to leave me alone are you?" She mumbled into his chest when she calmed herself down.

"No Temperance I have no intention of leaving you alone."

"I don't want to talk about what happened to me. I don't know if I'll ever talk about it. Can you accept that?"

"No." He told her honestly. "What happened to you was horrible and it's going to eat you up inside and maybe eventually destroy you if you don't talk about it. I won't push you to talk about it but I know that one day you'll want to talk about it and when you do I'll be here, ready to listen."

"I just want to forget this ever happened and return to a normal life. Is that possible Booth?"

"I don't think you'll ever be able to forget Temperance and one day you may be able to return to a normal life but it's not going to be tomorrow, next week or even next month. It's going to be a very long, rough road Bones but eventually things may return to normal."

"It won't be a long road because I'm fine Booth."

"I'm sorry I didn't get to you sooner; that you had to go through all of that hell." He whispered softly.

"You didn't know."

"I should have known. I should have felt that something was off."

"You have nothing to feel guilty for Booth. I'm the one who has to carry the guilt with me for the rest of my life."

"Bones why do you feel guilty?"

"Never mind Booth. I want to sleep now. You can go home."

"I told you. I'm not going anywhere. Go ahead and sleep and I'll be here when you wake up." He kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much Bones, so much."

"Goodnight Booth."

For the first time in almost a month Bones was not afraid to fall asleep. She wasn't afraid of getting woken up in the middle of the night to be attacked. She felt safe in Booth's arms but it didn't stop the numerous nightmares that plagued her most of the night. When she woke up screaming and crying Booth reassured her that she was safe and he just held her until she fell back to sleep. Finally after her fifth nightmare Bones acted like she fell back asleep but she didn't. She couldn't handle another nightmare so she spent the remaining of the night lying perfectly still in her hospital bed, listening to Booth's soft snoring and strangely finding comfort in the sound. She hated that she lied to Booth. She wasn't fine, she was far from it and she didn't know if she would ever be fine again.


	5. Chapter 5

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

Booth was sitting in Bones' room, next to her unconscious form, waiting for her to wake up. She had just come down from six hours of surgeries. She chose to have all of her multiple surgeries together, on the same day so she didn't have to go under anesthesia more than once. She had her cheek repaired, her jaw repaired, and her wrist rebroken and then reset. They also sutured up four vaginal lacerations that weren't healing on their own and three rectal lacerations. Her blood test came back showing that she was twelve days pregnant so with there being no chance that Booth was the father of her baby Bones chose to go ahead with the abortion which was also done during her surgeries.

For the past three days Booth has been at the hospital only leaving long enough to go home to shower and change. When he did leave he made sure that she wasn't alone. He never wanted her to be alone again so when he left Angela came and sat with her best friend. Since that first night when she opened up to him and let him hold her while she slept it hadn't happened again. She closed herself off to him again and barely spoke to him. She tried to get him to leave her alone but she quickly discovered that he was as stubborn as she was because he refused to leave her. If it was at all possible she closed herself off even more when her test results came back showing that she tested positive for Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. He got the impression that she was ashamed of her latest diagnosis and it broke his heart because it wasn't her fault.

He had just dozed off when he was woken up to the sound of Bones moaning. He quickly sat up and reached for her hand. "Hey Bones." Her eyes fluttered open and rolled over in his direction. "Are you in pain?" She nodded and he pressed the call button. "A nurse will be here soon to get you some pain medicine."

"Mmphllgmm" She mumbled.

"Don't talk Bones. You're jaw has been worked on so you really can't talk." She made a writing motion with her hand. "You want to write something?" She nodded so Booth frantically looked for something for Bones to write with and on. In the table next to her bed he found a notepad and a pen and he handed it to her. With a shaking hand she wrote something and handed it to Booth. It wasn't her normal handwriting and it took him a minute before he realized what she had written.

"Didn't do it? What didn't you do Bones?" He saw the look of irritation in her eyes and she motioned for the notepad back. She wrote something else and handed it back to him. "The baby?" Bones nodded and it took a minute for what she was trying to tell him to finally click in his mind. ""You didn't get the abortion?" She nodded. "You did?" She sighed in irritation and shook her head. "You didn't." She nodded. "I don't understand. Why?" She glared at him and pointed to her mouth.

"Hi Dr. Brennan. How are you feeling?"

"She's in a lot of pain." Booth told her nurse.

"I have some Morphine here that will make you feel really good." She checked Bones' vital signs, dressings, charted the information and then she injected Bones' IV with the Morphine. "You'll be back to sleep in a few minutes."

"Thank you." Booth spoke for Bones since she couldn't speak for herself. Once they were alone Booth turned his full attention back to Bones while she was still awake. "Did something happen before your surgery that made your doctor decided not to do the abortion?" She shook her head and pointed to herself. "It was your choice Bones?" He asked incredulously and she nodded with tears in her eyes. "We'll talk in a couple days when you are feeling better." Again she nodded and closed her eyes. "Sleep well my love." He whispered softly leaning over and kissing her head.

--

Sighing Booth closed his phone. He could understand why Cullen was pissed at him for not coming back to work and using up vacation time that he rarely ever used before but he refused to leave her. She needed him, whether or not she admitted it. From going to rescue her and the time they had spent in the hospital he had been out of the office for about two and a half weeks and he couldn't give Cullen a definite answer as to when he would be returning and that's what frustrated his boss.

"Bones you're awake." Booth said pleasantly when he returned to her room. He found her actually sitting up, the first time since her surgery. "How are you feeling?"

"Hurting but better." She mumbled slowly.

"Are you hungry or thirsty? Can I get you anything?" She shook her head. "Do you need any pain medication?"

"I'm fine."

"Do you want me to sit your bed up? Do you need to go to the bathroom? What can I do?"

"Stop hovering. I'm fine."

"Sorry." Booth mumbled. He pulled a chair up next to her bed and sat down. "May I?" He asked grabbing the remote from the bed.

"Of course." Booth began flipping through channels but not really paying attention. He didn't want to watch television. He wanted to talk to Bones but he didn't want to push her.

"Will you please chose something or just turn it off?" She snapped about ten minutes later. His flipping through the channels was driving her crazy and trying her patience.

"Sorry." He turned the television off and then they sat in silence, staring at the black television screen.

"Do you…"

"I want…" They both said at the same time.

"You go." Again they both spoke at the same time.

"I was just going to ask you if you wanted to talk about the pregnancy."

"I do."

"Okay. I'm listening."

"As I was getting wheeled off to surgery I started thinking about what was going to happen. We catch murderers for a living and the baby inside of me is a living being. It has a heartbeat and if I end its life doesn't that make me one of the murderers that we are trying to catch?"

"Oh god Bones. No it doesn't. The murderers that we catch are evil people that kill other people and feel no remorse. That isn't you. It's not who you are. You are not a murderer Temperance."

"No I'm not because I didn't kill it but I don't know what to do about it."

"About what?"

"The baby Booth." She snapped. "I can't raise it."

"Yes you can Bones. You are the most capable and strong woman I know. You can do anything that you put your mind to."

"I know that I am capable of raising a child. I…I…just don't want to raise this child Booth." She looked down at her lap in shame.

"Bones…"

"I can't raise this child. I don't want this child but it shouldn't die. It deserves a chance to live. It didn't do anything wrong."

"So what do you want to do?"

"I will probably give it up for adoption."

"Why would you do that? You wanted a child." When she raised her face to look at him he saw tears rolling down her face.

"I wanted your child Booth." His heart broke at those simple words.

"But it's still a child…it's your child, a part of you. It shouldn't matter who the father is."

"I knew you wouldn't understand." She mumbled.

"Make me understand." He begged her.

"I hate this child."

"No you don't. You hate how it came about but you don't hate the baby."

"Don't tell me how I feel." She shouted through her tears. "You don't know what it's like for me."

"Tell me."

"I can't think about this baby without thinking about how it ended up there. How can I raise or even love this child without seeing the eyes or face of one of the men who raped me? When this child asks me about it's father do I tell it that it's father was the asshole who gave me Gonorrhea or maybe it was the bastard that gave me Chlamydia or it could have been one of the five men who threw me on the ground brutally raped me over and over again."

"ENOUGH." He shouted.

"What's wrong Booth? Did you forget that I was raped?" He stood there and stared at her. "I was raped. Get over it."

"Get over it?" He croaked. "Are you kidding me? I can't just get over you being raped. When I think about what they did to you…how they hurt you…no Bones. I can't just get over it."

"It happened to me not you and I have gotten over it. It's in the past and I'm trying to forget it happened and in time I will."

"No you won't. You will never forget it."

"After this child is born and I don't have the constant reminder growing inside of me I will forget and move on. That's why I need to give it away. I'll never be able to forget as long as that child is in my life."

"Bones that child will be in your life for the next nine months. You're going to feel it grow and move inside of you."

"I believe that I can distance myself from what is happening to me. I'm very good at compartmentalizing my emotions."

"Too good." He mumbled.

"Will you help me?"

"Help you do what?"

"Find the right parents to raise this baby."

"It already has the perfect parent. It has you."

"GET OUT." She screamed.

"Bones." He reached out for her hand but she jerked away.

"If you can't accept my choice then I don't want you here, in this room or in my life."

"I'm sorry Bones."

"Don't be. Just go."

"Please don't make me go."

"Get the hell out of my room and life." She shouted.

"Dr. Brennan is everything okay?" Bones' nurse must have heard her scream at him because she was in room, her face full of concern.

"I want him to leave." Bones quietly whispered.

"Mr. Booth you need to go." Booth looked at Bones who had her head turned away from him but he could see the tears falling. "Mr. Booth please leave." Realizing that Bones wasn't going to talk to him or even look at him he gave up and slowly walked out of her room.

"God dammit." He snapped punching the wall in front of him. He was standing at the elevators, waiting for the doors to open. He was so frustrated with her but he couldn't give up on her or her child. He couldn't let her give up on her child. He knew that given time she would fall in love with her child. As the elevator door opened Booth was walking away and back to Bones' room.

"Mr. Booth you can't…" Thee nurse said stopping him n the hall.

"Please Marie. I can't leave like this."

"She can't afford to get upset again."

"I won't." He promised.

"If she does I'll call security to escort you out." Marie threatened.

"You won't have too." When he flashed her his charm smile Marie rolled her eyes and walked away from him. He found it very rare that his smile didn't work on women. Taking a deep breath Booth pushed open the door to Bones' room. She was lying on her back and staring at the ceiling.

"I thought I asked you to leave." She said not even blinking an eye.

"You did."

"Then why the hell are you here?"

"Because you need to know something."

"I know everything that I need to know."

"Dammit Bones no you don't. You may think that you know everything but you don't. You have never been raped before so you don't know how to deal with it. I've never personally known anyone who has been raped before so I don't know how to help you."

"I don't need your help. I don't need anyone's damn help."

"Yes you do." He cried tears beginning to sting his eyes. "You're miserable. You're blaming yourself for what happened to you and…"

"And what Booth?" She finally turned her head to look at him.

"And I'm losing you."

"You never had me." The tears he had been trying to hold back began to fall.

"How can you say that? The night before you left we made love; I told you I loved you. The day you left you told me you loved me. Has that changed? Don't you love me anymore?"

"I love you as a friend Booth but that's it."

"You don't mean that." He was shaking his head.

"I'm sorry but it's true. We are partners and friends and that's all we will ever be."

"No. We are so much more."

"You need to accept the truth Booth."

"I won't. I can't."

"You don't have a choice." He didn't know what else he could possibly say to her so he just turned around and walked out of her room without another word to her.

As soon as the door shut behind him she rolled over on her side, put her face in a pillow and sobbed. She lied to Booth. She did love him. She loved him with everything she had but she couldn't be with him, not anymore. Not after what she had been through. She was damaged goods. She had been violated horribly and she couldn't give him what he deserved. He deserved a woman who wanted to kiss and make love to him but she couldn't do any of those things any more and she probably never could again. The thought of another man, even Booth touching, kissing, or making love to her made her physically sick. She knew Booth would never, ever hurt her physically but she couldn't think of sex or even love for that matter without thinking and remembering the pain and horror that she went through. As she cried herself to sleep she hoped the pain of losing the one and only man she ever truly loved would diminish in time.

--

"You have got to help me." Booth announced walking into Sweets' office and plopping himself down on the couch.

"Agent Booth. We don't have an appointment."

"Tough. I don't have time to make an appointment. I need your help and I need it now."

"It's very interesting that you are admitting a weakness and asking for help."

"Dammit Sweets. I'm not admitting anything. The help I'm asking for isn't for me. It's for Bones."

"How is she?" Sweets asked softly.

"How do you think she is? She has been raped and tortured."

"What can I do?"

"Tell me how to help her." Booth begged his therapist.

"It's not that simple Agent Booth."

"Make it simple." Booth roared.

"Tell me what's going on."

"She's pushing me away." Sweets was shocked when he saw tears in this normally strong man before him.

"Pushing you away how?"

"She says she doesn't love me." Booth whispered so softly that Sweets barely heard him. "And it's a lie."

"I know that since your coma you think that you are in love with Dr. Brennan but I explained that to you, how I believe that it is a lingering side effect from the coma."

"It's not a damned side effect. I love her Sweets with everything I have."

"Okay let's say that what you feel isn't a side effect, that it's real but just because it's real for you doesn't mean that she feels the same way and you can't force her to feel something for you that she doesn't."

"She does love me. She told me that she loves me the day she left for her trip."

"In a friendship way?"

"No in a we made love the previous night after I told her how I felt way. She was boarding her plane and then she rushed back to tell me how she felt and then she kissed me."

"I knew it. That is wicked awesome." Sweets said proudly.

"Congratulate yourself later. We have bigger problems right now. She is scared, ashamed and she is pushing me away. She says that we are just friends."

"You said that she is ashamed. What makes you think that she is ashamed?"

"She rarely looks me in the eye anymore and Bones looks everyone in the eye. I think that she is embarrassed about the STD's that those bastards gave her. I don't care about that. It wasn't her fault. I understand that but she doesn't."

"Dr. Brennan has been through a traumatic experience."

"Tell me something that I don't know Sweets. She won't talk about it. She says that she'll get over it but she won't."

"Of course she won't. She needs to talk to someone."

"She won't. You know how she feels about psychology so you need to tell me how to help her."

"I don't know if you can Agent Booth."

"I'm the only one who can. She trusts me or at least she used to." Booth mumbled.

"How have things been between the two of you since her return?"

"Things have sucked. She has been cold and distant for the most part. The day of her physical exam she asked me to stay in the room with her even though the exam had to be embarrassing for her. She let me hold her that night while she slept. That was the most open she has been. I probably made things worse today."

"How so?"

"She didn't go through with the abortion but she doesn't want the kid. She wants to give it up for adoption. When she asked me to help her find adoptive parents I told her the baby already had a parent. She wasn't happy with me."

"Wait Dr. Brennan is pregnant?" A shocked Sweets asked and Booth nodded. "Is it yours?"

"Of course it's not. That would be too easy. One of the bastards that kidnapped and raped her knocked her up."

"She doesn't want the child?"

"No. She says that she hates the child and that she will never be able to love or raise it because every time she would look at it she would be reminded of what happened to her."

"That makes logical sense and Dr. Brennan is all about logic."

"But I know that she will regret giving up this baby, a part of her. She has already been through so much pain and I don't her to be in any more pain. I want her to be happy. The night before she left she was so happy. I've never seen her that happy and I want that for her again and if she gives up her child I don't think she will be able to find that happiness again." Booth said miserably.

"I think that you're right. I think that she will regret it."

"Good."

"But I also agree with Dr. Brennan."

"Huh?"

"She was brutally raped and tortured for weeks Agent Booth. Imagine if that child looks like its father. She would have to spend the rest of her life looking into the eyes of one of the men who raped her in the form of a child that she is supposed to love and protect. I don't blame her not wanting that."

"You know what kid; you are being no help whatsoever. I shouldn't have come." Booth said standing up.

"Don't leave yet Agent Booth." Sweets requested and Booth slowly sat back down. "Just because I agree with both of you doesn't mean that I can't help you."

"So help me already."

"Be her friend."

"I am her friend."

"Be only her friend. Put aside the feelings that you have for her and just concentrate on being her friend. She doesn't need pressure to love you back put on her right now. She just needs her friend, the same friend that you have always been to her."

"I can do that."

"She trusts you more than anyone Agent Booth and I think that given time and space she will open up to you regarding what happened to her. Don't push the issue. She needs time but be ready when she is."

"What do I say to her when and if she starts talking about what happened? I'm not a psychologist."

"That's correct Agent Booth. You are something better."

"What's that?" Booth asked dryly.

"You are her best friend and as her best friend you will know the right thing to say to her and if anyone can convince her to talk to someone it will be you."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah I do."

"Thanks Sweets." Booth held out his hand and a very surprised and touched Sweets shook it. "You know, you're really not so bad"

"Does that mean that you are going to stop treating me like a kid?"

"Not a chance." Booth said with a smile.

--

For two incredibly long days Booth stayed away from the hospital, giving Bones her space even though it almost killed him to do so. He still called her multiple times a day but the conversations were always short and to the point. He always asked her if she wanted him to come and visit but she politely declined. To keep himself busy and his mind off of Bones he returned to work so he could catch up on the endless amount of paperwork on his desk and he spent time with Parker who had been a great sport about the lack of time they had been spending together. Whenever he spent time with Parker all of his problems seemed to disappear, at least for a few hours at a time.

"Booth." He answered his phone.

"It's me." His heart skipped a beat when he heard her beautiful voice.

"Hey Bones. What's up?" This is the first time that she had called him since she got home.

"I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

"Anything."

"Don't you want to know what the favor is before you agree to it?"

"It doesn't matter. I'll do anything for you." She was silent and he thought that she had hung up on him. "Bones are you there?"

"I'm here."

"So what's the favor?"

"I am being discharged from the hospital tomorrow."

"That's great."

"I was wondering if you would mind picking me up and dropping me off at home?"

"Sure no problem. What time should I be there?"

"3:00?"

"I'll be there. Have a good night Bones and if you need anything else give me call."

"Thanks Booth." When he hung up the phone he had a giant smile on his face.

--

"Excuse me Dr. Brennan?" Bones opened her eyes and saw her nurse standing next to her bed.

"What is it?" She was trying to sleep.

"You have a visitor. I know that you asked not to be bothered but she is very insistent that she see you. I wouldn't have bothered you but she says that she is from out of town and she is leaving soon."

"Okay. I'll see her." Bones adjusted her bed so she was sitting up when her guest walked in the room.

"Temperance, how are you?" Her friend Tracy from the dig said.

"Tracy what are you doing here?"

"I am on my way home. I had to stop at The Hoover building to give my statement and then I'm heading home but I wanted to stop by and thank you."

"Thank me for what?"

"For what you did for me; making them take you instead of me. I don't know what you went through but we heard your screams." Tears fell from Tracy's eyes. "I need to know one thing."

"What?"

"Why did you do it Temperance? Why did you risk your life for me? I'm practically a stranger to you."

"I did it because you have a husband and family that loves and needs you. I have no one that loves me so I had nothing to lose but you did."

"I can't tell you how much it means to me. You saved my life Temperance. I never would have been able to live through what they did to you. Because of you, I am still here for my family. How can I ever repay you?"

"It's not necessary. Just enjoy your family."

"Oh Temperance." Tracy wrapped her arms around the woman who saved her life. "You are an amazing woman." She sniffed.

"Hey Bren…oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize you had a visitor." Tracy pulled away from Bones. As soon as Bones looked at Angela's face she knew immediately that she was lying. She could always tell when her friend was lying. Angela knew before she walked in the room that Tracy was there.

"It's not a problem. I was just leaving." Tracy looked at Bones. "Thank you again Temperance." Bones gave Tracy a small smile. "Temperance you have earned a friend for life."

"Thanks for coming Tracy."

"Who was that?" Angela asked innocently when Tracy left.

"She was someone that was on the trip with me."

"The woman whose place you took with the kidnappers."

"So you were eavesdropping?" Bones accused.

"It wasn't my fault. The door was left open."

"You should really learn to mind your own business."

"You know something sweetie you really piss me off."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I get why you did what you did."

"What are you talking about?"

"Making those bastards take you instead of Tracy. You want to protect those that are weaker then you are but the reason you gave her is bullshit."

"You don't know what you are talking about."

"You told her you did it because no one loves you and no one will miss you but you are so wrong sweetie. You are loved by so many people. Your dad, brother, Amy, the girls they all love. Jack & Cam love you. I love you so much and sweetie Booth loves you." Angela took a deep breath to keep from crying. "Do you have any idea what it would have done to us if you would have died?"

"There is no point in speculating."

"You need to speculate Bren because then maybe you will know how damn important you are to those who love you. If you would have died I would have been devastated. My heart would have shattered into a million pieces."

"Your heart is a muscle Angela. It cannot shatter into a million pieces."

Angela ignored her and continued. "My life would never be the same if I lost you. Why can't you see how much you mean to me?"

"I realize that our friendship has significant meaning to you."

"And what about Booth?"

"What about him?"

"He loves and adores you sweetie. He would give his life for you. If you would have died…I can't even begin to imagine what it would have done to him. Besides Parker you are the most important person in his life and if you would have died…I don't think he would have survived it. Sure he may not physically die but mentally he would be gone."

"He would be better off, everyone would be better off not loving me." Bones mumbled softly.

"That's so not true. We are all better people because we love you."

"All I do is hurt people."

"No sweetie. That's not true."

"Angela I'm tired and I want to sleep. Can you please leave?" Bones laid her head against the pillow and closed her eyes. Angela reached over and took her friend's hand.

"You're not that fifteen year old girl that was abandoned anymore Bren. You're no longer alone." Angela whispered. She squeezed Bones' hand and left her alone.

--

"Come in." Bones called when there was a knock on her door. She was sitting on the edge of her bed waiting for Booth.

"Hey Bones."

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine. I'm ready to get out of here and home to my own bed."

"So can we leave?"

"Not yet. I'm still waiting for my discharge instructions."

"Okay. I have something for you." He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a folded piece of paper that he handed to Bones.

"What's this?"

"A get well card from Parker." She opened the card and slow smile crossed her face when she read Parker's simple words of "Get well soon. I miss you."

"That was very thoughtful of him. Did you make him do this?"

"No. It was all his idea. He's worried about you."

"Does he know? Did you tell him?"

"I had to tell him something so as far as he is concerned you were in an accident."

"Well it's partly true. He doesn't need to know the truth. He is too young. He should think that the world is a good place for as long as he can."

"The world is a good place Bones. It just has some very bad people in it."

"Dr. Brennan I have your discharge instructions and then you are free to go." Allison, her nurse said. Allison then began the twenty minute speech on her discharge instructions.

"Finally you will have to continue with your dialysis on an outpatient basis here at the hospital. Since you had it this morning you won't need it for another three days. I set up your next appointment at the dialysis for Friday afternoon at 3:30. You'll need transportation. The clinic won't let you leave unless you have someone to take you home."

"I'll take her." Booth spoke up.

"You have enough medication for the next two days. I have prescriptions for you for your antibiotics, your pain medication, sleeping pill and your prenatal vitamins so you'll need to get these filled as soon as possible."

"I'll take those and get them filled." Booth said holding out his hand. Allison smiled and placed the prescriptions in his hand.

"Do you have any questions Dr. Brennan?"

"No."

"Okay. Well good luck to you and if you have any questions please give me a call."

"Thank you. I will." She slowly stood up from her bed, grabbed her bag and began to walk to the door.

"Dr. Brennan you have to get in the wheelchair." Allison said.

"Is that really necessary? I feel fine."

"It's hospital policy."

"It's just ridiculous."

"Don't argue Bones. Just sit in the chair."

"Fine." Booth took her bag from her and she grudgingly sat in the chair. "That's a good girl."

"I'm not a child Booth. Don't treat me like one." She snapped as she was wheeled down the hall.

"Sorry Bones. It won't happen again." Booth mumbled.

Their drive over to her apartment was done in silence. Bones stared out the window and Booth stared at the road in front of him with frequent glances in her directions. When they arrived at her apartment Booth parked his S.U.V. as close to the door as he could get, jumped out and rushed over to her side to help her out, ignoring her resistance to his assistance.

"You don't need to walk me up." She complained.

"I know but I'm doing it anyways." She sighed but allowed him to continue to walk with her.

When she got to her door she stood there for a minute looking confused. "Bones what's wrong?"

"I just realized that I never got my purse back. My keys and my wallet were in my purse I never got any of my luggage back."

"I've got my key that you gave me." Booth reached into his pocket, pulled out his keys and unlocked her door. "I already canceled your credit cards. When you finally go through all of your mail you will probably already have replacements."

"But how did you know?"

"When you were admitted to the hospital they asked for your ID and that's when I realized that your purse never came back. I came over here and went through your mail and called all of your credit card companies to cancel your cards. I hope you don't mind."

"No I don't mind. In fact it was very thoughtful of you and I appreciate it."

"Hey what are friends for?" They both stood awkwardly in the middle of her apartment, each of them remembering the last time they were there, together; the tender kisses they shared, the words of love they spoke and the love they made over and over again. Booth wanted that night back so he could convince her to stay so she would have stayed safe and in his arms where she belonged. Bones wished for that night back because that night for the first and only time in her life she felt truly loved by a man and she knew she loved him just as much. She wanted that night back because she knew she would never have it again. She didn't deserve his love, not anymore.

"Well thank you for everything Booth. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"You can't go back to work yet."

"I have to. I'm going crazy just sitting around doing nothing."

"The doctor said…"

"I don't care what the doctor says. I am perfectly capable of determining how much my body can physically tolerate. If and when I decide that works gets to be too much I will come home. Is that okay with you?"

"I know that you will do what you want and I can't stop you."

"You know me well."

"That I do." He whispered softly. They stood there staring at each other for a few minutes until Bones finally spoke.

"Thanks again Booth. You can leave now."

"I can stay with you if you don't want to be alone. I'll crash on the couch."

"I'm an adult perfectly capable of staying home by myself." She walked over and opened the door.

"Will you call me if you need anything, no matter what time it is? I can be here in a second."

"You can't be here in a second but I will call if I need anything."

"Bye Bones." He started to walk past her, out the door but he stopped. "Can I hug you?" She nodded and he gently took her in his arms and held her tightly until she pulled away.

"Goodnight Booth." She whispered.

"Goodnight Temperance."


	6. Chapter 6

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

When the door closed behind her friend, Bones placed her ear to the door until she heard his footsteps fade away. She wouldn't have put it past him to camp out in front of her door all night and she didn't need that, not tonight. When he offered to stay on her couch she wanted to say yes, she wanted him close to her because she didn't want to be alone but she knew that she couldn't rely on Booth for the rest of her life. She was going to be alone for the rest of her life so she might as well get used to it.

Hearing her stomach growl she headed to the kitchen in hopes of finding something to eat. It has been weeks since she left so it would be pure luck if she found anything that was still good enough to cook, let alone eat. When she opened her refrigerator door she was shocked to find it was full of all of her favorite foods. "Oh Booth." She murmured. Only that amazing man would think to stock her fridge so she wouldn't starve. She saw a container of soup from Wong Foo's. Smiling, she pulled it out, dumped half of it in a bowl and placed it in the microwave. While her soup was warming she went and grabbed a bottle of red wine. She knew the wine would relax her. Pulling a wine glass out of the cupboard and opened the bottle. Just as the first drop fell into the glass she remembered that she couldn't drink because of the damn pregnancy. Suddenly the microwave beeped causing her to jump and knock the glass onto the floor. "Son of a bitch." She grumbled. She hated that the littlest things, like the beeping of the microwave scared her. She never used to be like that and she wanted her life back, her life prior to the kidnapping and rape.

No longer hungry she left the soup in the microwave and the broken glass on the floor and went to the bathroom. Since she couldn't have the wine the next best thing to relax her would be a bath. It's been so long she has had a nice, long, luxurious bubble bath. She turned on the water as hot as she could stand it, poured in some bubble bath and bath oils and finally lit some candles. Standing in front of the full length mirror in her bathroom she closed her eyes and removed her jeans that were now too big for her, her underwear, sweater and bra. When she opened her eyes and looked into the mirror and saw the faded bruises and scars that covered most of her body tears fell from her eyes. It was the first time that she had really looked at herself since she has returned and she hated what she saw. The memories of how she got those bruises and scars flooded her mind. She squeezed her eyes closed tightly mumbling "No." over and over again, trying to force the images away but it didn't work. When she opened her eyes those images were still there. Reaching on the shelf beside her, she grabbed her hairdryer and threw it against the mirror, shattering it into a thousand tiny pieces. Wiping away her tears she climbed into the bathtub, grabbed a washcloth, lathered it up with soap and scrubbed her body furiously, trying to remove the bruises and scars until her entire body was raw and red.

--

"Get off of me you sick bastard." Bones screamed. She was back in that horrible room again. One of the men was on top of her, pounding himself roughly inside of her. She was hitting him with all of her strength but it was pointless. He just laughed and hit her in her face. "Booth save me. Please save me." She cried.

"He can't save you. He doesn't want to save you." The bastard sneered.

"He does. He will. He loves me." Suddenly the man raping her morphed into Booth right before her eyes.

"Booth, thank god you're here. I knew you would save me." She sobbed.

"I'm not here to save you Bones."

"NOOO." She screamed sitting up in bed. Her blankets were wrapped around her, she was dripping in sweat and she was sobbing. She untangled herself from her blankets and sheets and stumbled out to her couch, crying the whole time. She wrapped herself tightly in a blanket, pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around her knees, laid her head on her knees and sobbed.

Having a nightmare was nothing new. In fact she hated going to sleep at night because she knew that she would be plagued with them but tonight was the first time that Booth had ever been in her nightmare. She assumed he joined her nightmare because she was sleeping in the bed where they had made love, the bed that she felt safe and loved in when she was in his arms and now that bed was permanently tainted because of her nightmare. She reached over onto the end table and picked up the phone. She dialed the first six numbers of Booth's cell phone and hung up before she hit the final number. She wanted him, the familiarity of his presence, his promise that everything would be okay but she couldn't continue to rely on him.

Throwing the phone across the room so she wouldn't be tempted to call him she stood and headed to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. Her throat was parched from all of her screaming. She made it three steps before she experienced a sharp pain through her abdomen. She took a deep breath, ignored the lingering pain and continued to walk to kitchen. When she placed her hand on the handle of the fridge another pain hit her, so severe that it doubled her over and took her breath away. "Dammit." She muttered when she got her breath back. She knew that something wasn't right with the baby and she couldn't ignore it. She wasn't scared or nervous. She was just irritated because she had just gotten out of the hospital and now she was going to have to go back.

After throwing on some clothes she realized that she didn't have her car keys and Booth was the one who had her spare key. She retrieved the phone from across the room and called a cab who told her that a car would be there in ten minutes. "Dammit." She groaned when another pain hit her. When the pain subsided she grabbed her coat and headed to the lobby to wait for her cab. When she got to the door at the lobby she was surprised that the cab was already waiting. Opening the door to the cab the first thing she saw was the cab driver was male. She stood there, holding the door, forcing herself to get in the car but she couldn't make herself get in. The thought of being alone with a strange man terrified her. Her heart was pounding, her palms were sweating, and her respirations were increasing.

"Hey lady are you coming or not?" The cab driver asked.

"I'm sorry I can't." Reaching in her pocket she pulled out a twenty and tossed it at him. "I'm sorry to waste your time."

When the cab pulled away she had tears streaming down her cheeks. She didn't know what to do. She knew that she had to get to a hospital but she didn't know how. Standing outside of her building, alone in the dark, she spotted a very familiar SUV parked directly under her window. It was Booth. He never left her parking lot. She walked over and knocked on the driver side window causing him to jump.

"Bones? What are you doing out here?"

"What the hell are you doing here Booth?"

"I…uhhh…I wanted to make sure you were okay and I guess that I fell asleep."

"You are such a shitty liar…ohhhhh." She grabbed her abdomen. In a flash Booth was out of the SUV and by her side.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know. I've been having severe stomach pains. I believe that I am miscarrying this child." Booth wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her to the passenger side of the SUV. "I can do it myself." She snapped when he tried to help her in.

"Sorry." He mumbled walking over to the driver's side.

"I would like my spare key to my car that I gave to you."

"Uhhh sure thing Bones."

"I found myself in a predicament tonight. I needed to get to the hospital and I didn't have a way to get there."

"You could have called me. I was here." He said with a laugh.

"I called a cab and the driver was a man and I couldn't get in the damn cab." She whispered.

"Bones I'm …"

"Don't say it. I don't want to hear that you're sorry. I'm so damned tired of everyone being sorry." She shouted.

"All right. Not another word." The remainder of the ride to the hospital was done in silence.

--

Booth was tossing and turning on Bones' couch. He could not get comfortable and it was probably because he was worried about her. She was tucked safely in her bed after her adventure at the hospital. She had indeed had a miscarriage. He was in the room with her when the doctor did the ultrasound to confirm that the baby had died, that her poor body had just been through to much to take care of the baby and when she was told she showed no emotion. No tears, no anger, no guilt no happiness, just nothing. When he looked into her eyes he saw the same emptiness that he had been seeing since he found her. They preformed a D & C on her, to remove the baby from inside of her and when she woke up from anesthesia he was allowed to bring her home as long as he stayed with her in case she started hemorrhaging.

When he got her home she was still quite woozy from the anesthesia so he had to help her into the apartment and into bed. When he got to her bedroom he was shocked to find the state that her bed was in. The blankets were on the floor the fitted sheet was no longer fitted on the mattress. The pillows were on the floor across the room and one of them was scrunched up in between the mattress and headboard. It looked like she had been through hell. Booth set Bones up on the couch and remade her bed. When he returned to living room he found her sound asleep on the couch. He lifted her into his arms and carried her to bed. She never woke up when he tucked her in and kissed her head.

Giving up on sleeping he ventured to the kitchen in search of a beer he saw in her fridge when he was putting her groceries away. Walking into the Kitchen the first thing he noticed was the opened wine bottle on the counter. The second thing was the broken glass on the floor. Locating the broom and dustpan he wondered what had happened in here. Did she drink the wine? Did something scare her to make her drop her glass? He figured he would never know because she wouldn't tell him and he wouldn't bring it up. They weren't exactly sharing things with each other anymore. After he finished sweeping up the broken glass he grabbed a beer from the fridge. He returned to the couch, took a nice long swig of his beer and that's when he heard screams coming from Bones' bedroom. Setting his beer down he rushed into the bedroom.

"Bones wake up." She was thrashing around, screaming in terror. He placed his hands on her shoulders, gently trying to shake her awake but she was too deep in her nightmare to hear him. "BONES." He shouted. Her eyes fluttered opened but he could see the fear in them.

"Get off of me. Don't touch me." She shouted. Her fists began flying and she punched him right in right in the eye.

Ignoring the pain and swelling in his eye he knew he had to bring her back to reality. "Focus Temperance. Look around. You're home, in your bedroom where you are safe." She calmed down and her eyes slowly began to wander throughout her room and then back to him.

"Booth?" She was so confused.

"Yeah Bones. It's me and you are home and safe."

"I'm home?"

"You're home."

"Oh Booth." She wrapped her arms around his neck, buried her face in his shoulder and began to cry. "I just was so scared." She sobbed.

"It's okay. I'm here and there is nothing to be scared of. I'll never let anyone ever hurt you again." He promised into her hair.

For the next forty five minutes Booth held Bones as she sobbed so hard that she soaked his tee shirt. He had never seen her cry so hard before and he was so glad that she was finally showing some emotion besides anger. He didn't know what else to do except hold her so that's just what he did. He held her until her sobbing finally subsided. He thought that she had fallen asleep because she hadn't moved in ten minutes. He slowly began to lay her down when she tightened her grip around his neck. "Don't leave me." She begged.

"I won't." He said tightening his grip around her. Fifteen minutes later she finally pulled her arms away from his neck and sat back and lifted her red swollen, eyes to his one good one.

"I'm sorry I fell apart like that."

"Don't be sorry Bones. Everyone is entitled to fall apart every once in awhile." He told her with a smile. "Do you have nightmares often?"

"I haven't had one since I have been in the hospital." She lied. "It must be the anesthesia that causes them."

"Yeah it must be." She suddenly noticed his black and swollen eye.

"Your eye." She reached up and gently touched it.

"It's fine."

"I did that."

"It was an accident."

"I'm so sorry."

"You didn't know what you were doing."

"I have a cold pack in my medicine cabinet. I'll go get it."

"No Bones stay. I'll get it." Booth got up from the bed and went into the bathroom.

"Owww. Son of a bitch." Booth yelled from the bathroom a few minutes later.

"Booth are you okay?" Booth came hoping out of the bathroom, the bottom of his left sock covered in blood. "What happened?"

"Apparently your bathroom mirror is broken and I stepped on a piece of the glass."

"Oh no. Come over here and let me see." Booth hobbled over to the bed and lifted his leg up. She carefully peeled his sock away. "Dammit there's a lot of blood and I can't see. Stay here." She instructed. This time she got off of the bed and went into the bathroom. Avoiding the shards of glass she grabbed her first aid kit and returned to him. "I'm going to clean it. It may sting a little so please hold still."

"Owww….shit…a little Bones. This stings a lot."

"Please quit acting like a child." She continued to clean his wound. When she was able to see it she pulled out the glass with the tweezers in her kit. "Booth this needs stitches."

"Can't you just stick a band aid on it? I'm really tired of hospitals."

"I have these butterfly band aids that may hold the wound together."

"Good use those." Bones applied the band aids and then wrapped his foot with gauze.

"That should hold. If it breaks open again then you will have to go to the hospital."

"I'll be careful." He stared into her eyes and she quickly looked away, busying herself with putting her first aid kit back together. "So what happened to your mirror?"

"I accidentally ran into it and it broke. With the miscarriage I forgot to clean it up." Booth knew she was lying because he saw the broken hairdryer on the floor but he decided not to push the issue. "I appreciate you taking and bringing me home from the hospital again but I'm fine now so you can go home."

"No can do Bones."

"Excuse me?"

"Your doctor said that you can't be alone for twenty four hours in case you hemorrhage so sorry but you are stuck with me." He told her with a grin.

"I suppose that means I can't go to work tomorrow."

"That's right."

"But what if I feel fine and I'm not bleeding? Can I go then? I cannot handle another day staying home." She felt like a child bargaining with a parent to go to school.

"Let's see how you feel in the morning okay?"

"Fine." She mumbled unhappily.

"Why don't you try and get some sleep?"

"All right. I suppose that is what is best." Booth got off of the bed and she straightened the blankets around her and then laid back down with her back to him.

"I'm going to sweep the glass up in your bathroom so you don't hurt yourself and then I'll leave you alone."

"Thank you." She mumbled.

She laid in the bed listening as Booth left the room and then returned and cleaned up her bathroom. When he was done he turned off her light and shut her door. Once she was sure she was alone she rolled over on her back and stared at the ceiling. She had no intention of falling back asleep and having another nightmare with Booth here to hear her. She still can't believe that she broke down and cried in his arms like she did. Only a weak person did that and she wasn't a weak woman or a least she wasn't before she left for her trip. Now she didn't know who the hell she was. She was scared all of the time; she couldn't even get into a cab because the driver was a man; she had nightmares every time she fell asleep and the nightmares were so real and now the man she trusted and loved more than anything was invading her dreams and becoming one of the men who attacked her. Nothing was what it used to be and it probably never would be again.

--

"Do I smell eggs?" Booth asked not opening his eyes. He had been awake since Bones got in her shower about an hour ago. He had been able to sleep with one ear trained to listen for Bones thanks to his sniper training and the second he heard her shower turn on. He just stayed on couch acting like he was sleeping. He knew when she came out of her room, he could smell her soap and shampoo as she stood over him. He wanted to open his eyes, letting her know that he was awake but he figured that she just needed some time alone.

"Good morning." She said as Booth sat up. "Did you sleep well?"

"Not bad. How about you?" Booth got up off of the couch and folded up the blankets he used.

"Fine." She lied. She never fell back to sleep. She just stared at the ceiling until the sun came up.

"Then why in the hell are you up so early?" He asked through a yawn. She got in the shower at seven and it was now just after eight.

"I've done nothing but sleep lately and I'm tired of sleeping. Are you hungry?" As if on cue Booth's stomach growled and Bones smiled.

"No not really." Bones felt herself laugh for the first time in awhile and for a short minute she felt like her normal self but as soon as that minute was up she remembered why Booth had slept on her couch and her happiness faded. "Can I help?"

"Umm you can pour the coffee and juice if you want."

"Sure thing." They both worked in silence until their breakfast was ready. Bones set a heaping plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of me. "Smells good."

"I hope you like it." Booth took a giant bite.

"Oh my God, this is delicious." He complimented her.

"I'm glad you like it."

"What's in these eggs?"

"I put in some cheddar cheese, onions, green peppers, and mushrooms."

"They're amazing."

"Thank you." They ate in silence for a few minutes before Bones spoke again. "I want to go to work today Booth."

"The doctor said that you need to take it easy for the next couple of days."

"Besides some cramps I feel fine."

"I don't know Bones."

"I'm not really asking Booth. I'm a grown woman and if I want to go to work I will."

"So why even bring it up?"

"Because I respect you enough to tell you my plan. You have put your life on hold to care for me over the past few weeks and I know that you would worry if you didn't know where I was."

"The doctor said that I need to stay with you for twenty four hours in case you hemorrhage and it hasn't been twenty four hours yet so why not wait until tomorrow?" He was afraid that if she would hurt herself more if she pushed herself too soon.

"I can't stay home anymore doing nothing but…thinking. Do you understand?"

"Perfectly." And he did. He knew that if she didn't focus on something else all she would think about would be what had happened to her. "One condition though." Bones rolled her eyes.

"There is always a condition with you."

"I'm staying with you, in case something happens. I'll have my paperwork sent over by a courier and I'll hang out in the lounge while you do thing."

"Those terms are satisfactory." She told him with a soft smile.

--

"BOOTH!" He heard her yell for him from her office. He wasn't worried because he knew that yell well. It was her "I'm royally pissed off at you" yell and he had no idea why she was pissed at him. He had been minding his own business, doing his paperwork, letting her do whatever it was that she was doing so to the best of his knowledge he hadn't done anything to warrant her anger. "Get your ass in my office."

"Someone's in trouble." Hodgins said with a grin as Booth walked past him.

"Don't make me shoot you." Booth muttered and Hodgins's laugh followed Booth all the way to Bones' office. "What's up Bones?"

"What the hell is this?" She said motioning to her computer.

"Umm it's your computer."

"Don't be a smart ass. I know it's my computer and that's not what I'm talking about. I'm referring to this email from the F.B.I."

"What email?"

"Come over here and read it." I walked over and stood behind her and read her email from Director Cullen

_Dr. Brennan,_

_Due to your recent traumatic experience overseas your work in the field with the F.B.I. and Agent Seeley Booth is suspended until you undergo a psychological evaluation and be psychology cleared by Dr. Sweets to return to the field. We will appreciate your continued work in your lab in the meantime. Thank you for you do._

_Sincerely, _

_Sam Cullen_

"Can you believe that bullshit?" Bones seethed through clenched teeth.

"Its office policy Bones. Remember when I shot the damn mechanical clown? I got desk duty and I didn't go through the hell that you went through." Booth told her gently.

"I'm not a F.B.I. agent like you Booth."

"But you work in the field."

"You don't seem very surprised by this. Did you know about this and not tell me?" Her eyes were burning with fury.

"I didn't know for sure that you had been sent that email but I had a pretty good idea that you would get it. Like I said; office policy."

"I don't need a damn psychological evaluation. I'm fine."

"Are you?" He asked her softly.

"Screw you Booth." She slammed her laptop closed, stood, grabbed her coat and an old purse that she filled with an old wallet and new credit cards and stormed past him.

"Where are you going?"

"None of your damn business."

"Bones wait." Booth said following her out of the office.

"Leave me alone." She was moving fast out of the lab and outside.

"Where are you going?" He asked again when he caught up with her outside.

"Not that it's any of your business but I'm going to The Hoover building to have a word with your boss." She snapped.

"Well let me take you. There is no sense in you walking when I have my truck."

"I don't need your assistance, thank you very much." Sighing in irritation Booth jogged over to his SUV and then drove up beside her on the rode.

"Bones get in the damn car."

"No."

"This is ridiculous. Just let me take you over to The Hoover."

"I can walk."

"Bones it's starting to rain. Come on, get in the car."

"Leave. Me. Alone."

"God dammit." Booth muttered. He reached under the passenger seat and grabbed his umbrella. "Here at least take this." He said shoving the umbrella out of the passenger window. Bones stopped walking, grabbed the umbrella out of his hand and then continued on her journey without a backwards glance in his direction.

Bones walked all the way to The Hoover building, in the rain and he followed behind her in his SUV. He knew she was stubborn but this was just ridiculous. She had the advantage of walking right into The Hoover while he had to park so by the time he was stepping off of the elevator on Cullen's floor Bones was stepping on.

"He's out of the office." She mumbled.

"So where to now?" He asked her with a grin which just infuriated her.

"Now I'm going to go and see Sweets and get this insane evaluation issue cleared up."

"Issue?"

"You know I didn't ask you to come here with me. In fact I asked you not to come so please keep your smart remarks to yourself." The elevator door opened and Bones stormed out. Booth just followed her knowing that there were going to be some fireworks coming up.

"Dr. Brennan. It's so good to see you." Sweets said when Bones stormed into his office.

"Clear me for field work." She demanded.

"I beg your pardon?"

"What wasn't clear? You need to sign whatever paperwork is necessary to allow me to go back into the field and work."

"I would be happy to."

"Good." She turned around and headed for the door and then froze when she heard Sweets speak again.

"After we have some sessions and I determine that you are psychology fit to return to field work I will be more than happy to sign the papers." Bones swung back around to face her therapist.

"I don't need therapy sessions. I am perfectly fine and perfectly capable of returning to the field." She snapped.

"After what you have been through…"

"You have no idea what I went through Dr. Sweets. It doesn't matter anyway. I've put what has happened behind me."

"It's not that easy Dr. Brennan."

"You know better than anyone how good I am at compartmentalizing my feelings and I've done that so I am fine."

"Do you really think so? Do you really think after what you have been through you could just bury it and be fine?"

"You don't know what happened to me and I am fine." She whispered, not looking Sweets in the eye.

"Is Agent Booth with you?"

"I believe so. He's been following me around."

"Is it okay if I ask him to come in?"

"Why?"

"He is your partner and his opinion about whether or not you are ready to go out into the field matters because you two place your lives in each other's hands."

"Fine. If it will speed up this damn process, bring him in." She walked over to the window and stared out into the parking lot while Booth walked in.

"Agent Booth Dr. Brennan wants to go back out into the field. In your opinion, as her partner, whose hands you put your life in when you are out in the field, do you feel she is ready?" Sweets asked him.

"No I don't." He answered softly.

"WHAT?" Bones yelled, turning around with tears streaming down her face. "How could you say that? You know….I'm fine dammit." Booth reached out for her but she jerked away from him.

"No Bones you're not. You couldn't even get into a cab because the driver was a man. What happens if a suspect is a man who resembles one of the men who…"

"SHUT UP!" She screamed.

"I'm just worried about you Bones. If you go out before you ready you could get hurt." She walked up to Booth and pointed her finger in his chest.

"You betrayed me."

"I…"

"You were my friend and I trusted you." She couldn't stop the tears that were falling from her eyes. "And you betrayed me. I'll never forgive you Seeley Booth, never. I don't want you back at my apartment. I don't want you giving me rides. I don't want you in my life. I'll have Angela take me home and stay with me tonight." Booth reached out and gently grabbed her arm.

"Don't leave like this Bones." She easily jerked out of his grasp because he wasn't holding her tightly.

"I hate you Booth." She spun on her heel and stormed out of Sweets office, slamming the door behind her.

"Agent Booth?" Sweets asked and Booth turned to face his therapist with tears in his eyes.

"I had to tell you. I didn't have a choice." He mumbled.

"You did the right thing." Sweets said encouragingly.

"Did I, because it sure doesn't feel like it."


	7. Chapter 7

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

"This mark here on the frontal bone could possibly be cause of death but I'm not sure what it is." Bones commented to Cam as she examined the skull.

"What do you need to determine what it is?" Cam asked her.

"Time." Bones snapped.

"I can give you that." Cam told her walking away.

Once she was alone Bones continued her examination of the skull. Over the past month everyone at the lab has been walking on eggshells around her. She was introverted, she rarely spoke to her coworkers and when she did she was usually snapping at them.

"Dr. Brennan, I brought you the…" Wendell said walking up behind her and for the first time in her career, Bones dropped the skull she was examining and it shattered into a ton of pieces.

"God dammit look what you made me do." Bones shouted at her intern.

"I'm so sorry Dr. Brennan. I didn't mean to…Here I'll reconstruct the skull." He stuttered nervously.

"No you won't. I'll do it."

"It's my fault so I'll take care of it."

"I said I'll do it." She yelled. "You've already done enough damage and I can't afford any more screw ups. Now get the hell off my platform and let me fix this." Wendell quietly slunk off the platform and disappeared from the lab. Angela who watched the entire scene unfold stormed up the stairs.

"What the hell was that?" Angela asked her friend.

"I beg your pardon."

"There was no reason to yell at Wendell like that. He didn't drop the skull Bren. You did."

"This is none of your concern Angela. Just because you are sleeping with one of my interns does not give you the right to interfere with how I run my lab." Tears filled Angela's eyes.

"That's uncalled for Bren." Angela turned around and walked away from her friend before she said something that couldn't be taken back.

--

"You have to help her." Angela announced walking into Booth's office.

"Huh?" Booth looked up from his paperwork with a blank expression on his face.

"You have to do something."

"There is nothing I can do. She won't let me in. What happened?"

"She's being a total bitch, which after what she went through she has every right to be but I can't take much more of it. She's just being plain mean." Angela collapsed on a chair in front of Booth's desk and tears rolled down her cheeks.

"What happened?" He repeated

"Well today she was examining a skull and Wendell came up to her. She must not have heard him and it scared her and she dropped the skull and it shattered."

"Bones dropped a skull?"

"Yes and then she blamed Wendell for it. He offered to reconstruct it but she wouldn't let him. When I confronted her about the way she treated him she said some really hurtful things to me." Angela took a deep breath. "It's not Bren anymore Booth. My best friend is gone."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Get off your ass and get her back." Angela yelled. "Fight for her."

"She doesn't want me." He yelled back, his own tears falling. "She has refused my help and kicked me out of her life. I've tried Ange but I can't help her."

"Since when do you give up so easily?"

"Do you think this has been easy for me? Sitting on the sidelines, watching as the woman I love fall apart before my eyes. She's pushing me away. She's told me that she doesn't love me, that she doesn't want me in her life so what the hell am I supposed to do Angela because if you have the answer I would sure as hell love to hear it." He snapped, rather loudly at her.

"I don't know Booth but I'm worried about her. I don't think that she is getting much, if any sleep at all and she's drinking a lot. The few times she has let me hang with her she is putting away alcohol like its water. I'm scared for her Booth…so scared." Angela put her face in her hands and sobbed. Booth pushed away from his desk, walked over and sat next to Angela and put an arm around her.

"I don't know what to do Ange. I've tried everything I can think of and she won't let me in."

"Can you try again, please? If she'll let anyone in it will be you."

"Of course I will. You know that I would do anything for Bones. I'll finish up some paperwork and I'll come by the lab." Angela leaned over and hugged her friend.

"I'll see you soon."

An hour later Booth walked into the lab, a place that he hasn't spent a lot of time in during the last month. When she first told him that she hated him he continued to come to the lab as he always did but she ignored him unless she had information for a case. Since she refused therapy she still wasn't allowed out in the field so she was just consulting in the lab. Eventually he stopped coming around unless there was information on a case. He stood back and watched her work and for a minute everything was like it was before the kidnapping but only for a short minute. Taking a deep breath he swiped his card and walked up the platform steps.

"Hey Bones." She lifted her head and looked at him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was wondering if there was any new information on the case."

"Have I called you with any information?" He shook his head. "Then there is no new news."

"Okay then well do you want to go grab something to eat?" Over the past month Booth had noticed that she had lost a lot of weight. Her blue lab coat that used to fit her very nicely now just hung off of her body.

"I'm in the middle of reconstructing this skull. Does it look like I can stop what I'm doing and go grab something to eat?" Bones snapped.

"I can go pick up some Thai and bring it back so you wouldn't have to leave."

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat Bones."

"I know that I need to eat and when I get hungry I will eat. Now do you need anything else or can I get back to work?"

"Go back to work and call me if you learn anything." She didn't respond. She just turned back to her skull, away from him.

Booth left the platform but he did not leave the lab. He wanted to hang around and observe her for awhile and see what he could learn. Silencing his phone he found a spot that he could sit and watch Bones work and she wouldn't see him and since it was the end of the day most of the lab techs have left for the day so he knew his hiding place was safe. He felt like a peeping Tom but he felt she had left him with no other choice. She wasn't letting him or anyone else for that matter help her and before he could determine what needed to be done or how he could help her he needed to see for himself how bad things really were.

The first hour proved to be relatively boring. He watched as she glued the skull back together. Just when he thought that he was going to die from boredom he saw her place the skull on the cold metal table and retreat to her office. From his hiding spot he had and great view of her office and he assumed that when she reached for her purse that she was preparing to leave for the day but it wasn't the case. He watched as she reached into her purse, pull a bottle of pills out, swallow a couple and then she returned to platform.

"_Okay." _ Booth thought to himself. "_Maybe she started seeing a therapist and she's on an antidepressant. Maybe she is taking the steps on her on to get help but why wouldn't she tell me or Angela. Why is hiding it form us, from me? God dammit Bones, why won't you let me in?"_ He seriously considered sneaking into her office and seeing what was in the pill bottle but he restrained himself. He refused to stoop to the level of snooping through her purse, no matter how much he wanted to.

For the next couple of hours Booth stayed at the lab, watching Bones reconstruct the skull. When the skull was back in one piece he assumed that she would leave for the night but she didn't, she continued to examine it looking for cause of death. Finally, when he couldn't sit still anymore he decided to call it a night. He figured that there was nothing else that he could learn by spying on her.

"Agent Booth, it's been a long time. How are you?" The security guard Nathan asked Booth as walked past the security desk.

"I'm good Nate. How are Carrie and the new baby?"

"Carrie is great. She is really adjusting to motherhood and Lexie is amazing. Little girls are truly gifts from God don't you think?"

"I wouldn't know. I just have a son and he is pretty great himself." Nathan laughed.

"Working on a case with Dr. Brennan tonight?"

"Something like that. Can I ask you something Nate?"

"Shoot."

"How late did Dr. Brennan work last night?" Nate pulled his clipboard out and flipped a couple of pages.

"She actually signed out at 5:30 this morning."

"And when did she sign back in?"

"8:03."

"What about the past couple of nights? When did she sign out?" More page flipping.

"All week Dr. Brennan has signed out between 5 and 5:30 and she has returned about 8 every morning."

"Thanks Nate. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Have a good night Agent Booth."

"You too Nate."

As Booth walked out of The Jeffersonian he was more worried about Bones then he was when he walked in. Even though he didn't know it Nathan confirmed for him that Bones has not been sleeping, there was no way that she could be and he had no idea how she was making it through her days on no sleep. Climbing into his SUV he knew exactly what he had to do.

--

It was 6:15AM when the elevator doors opened to the floor of Bones' apartment building. As she stepped off of the elevator she immediately noticed the figure standing at the end of the hall in front of her apartment. The figure was wearing a black leather jacket, jeans and a baseball cap. Even though his back was facing her she could tell by body type that he was a male. In one swift movement Bones reached into her purse and pulled out the gun she bought for protection.

"The stairs are to your left." Bones spoke to the stranger. "If you just turn and walk to the stairs without trying anything I will not shoot you." Even though her heart was pounding, her hand was perfectly still. The stranger began to turn towards her. "I said just go to the stairs. Don't turn and look at me." He didn't listen. He continued to turn towards her. Her eyes were filled with tears so the stranger before her became blurred but when he was facing her she didn't hesitate. She pulled the trigger.

"Jesus Bones." Booth yelped, leaping out of the way of the bullet. "What the hell are you thinking?"

"Booth?"

"Put the damn gun away and get over here." She quickly put the safety on the gun and just as she returned it to her purse a few of her neighbors opened their doors. "Don't worry folks." Booth pulled out his badge. "FBI here. I've got everything under control here. Sorry to disturb you." The neighbor's doors slowly closed. "Come on Bones. Let's get inside."

"What are you doing here?" She snapped as she dug through her purse for her keys.

"What the hell are you doing with a gun?"

"It's for protection." Her hands were shaking so bad she couldn't find her keys. She almost shot her partner. Booth reached out in an attempt to help her but she jerked away from him, dropping her purse on the floor in the process. "God dammit. Now look what you did." She fumed.

They both bent down to pick up the items that had fallen out. At the same time they both reached for the pill bottle but Booth got to it first. "Booth give that to me." She demanded nervously.

"What the hell is this?" Booth asked her after he read the label.

"Give me the damn bottle." She yelled.

"Bones keep your voice down." Booth grabbed her keys, stood and unlocked the door. "Come on inside and you can continue to yell at me." Grabbing her purse she stormed passed him with a glare and he followed her inside.

"Why are you here so early?"

"Why do you have a prescription for Ritalin?"

"I asked you to leave me alone. Why can't you do that?"

"I can't leave you alone because I love you and I'm worried sick about you."

"There is no need to worry about me. I'm fine."

"No you're not Bones. You have a gun for protection and you're shooting at people. You didn't know it was me standing by your door and you shot at me. What if I was your super checking something? You could have killed him. You can't go around shooting men who are around you. You're becoming a danger to yourself and other people Bones."

"I wasn't shooting to kill. I just wanted to scare him…or you away."

"You're not eating. You're drinking a lot. You are as thin as a rail. You're a nervous wreck. You jump at the littlest sounds. You're mean and nasty to your friends who love you and now you are taking Ritalin. I'm really worried about you Bones." When she saw tears in his eyes she had to turn away from him.

"You just don't understand." Bones whispered softly.

"I'm trying to. I want to. Will you help me understand?" Booth's tears fell down his cheeks.

When Bones didn't answer Booth went and sat on her couch while Bones went into the kitchen to start some coffee. The silence in the apartment was deafening. Their relationship had never been like this. They had always been able to talk, in any situation but not anymore. After ten agonizingly long minutes Bones returned to the living room, handed Booth a cup of hot coffee and then sat beside him on the couch. From the corner of his eye he saw that her hand was shaking as she held her own cup. He wanted to talk but he decided to wait to see if she would make the first move.

"I can't sleep." She finally whispered when he returned to the living room after refilling his coffee.

"What about the sleeping pills that the doctor at the hospital gave you? Aren't they working?"

"Let me rephrase. I can sleep. I'm just afraid to sleep so therefore I don't."

"When was the last time you really slept?"

"It's been a few days." Booth just gave her a look. "Okay maybe closer to a week."

"How have you been able to stay awake? Coffee only works for so long."

"I've been getting espresso shots in my coffee, I've been drinking caffeine drinks and that's where the Ritalin comes in. In most adults it acts as a stimulant and it has helped me stay awake."

"How did you get it? Don't you have to have an attention problem to get it?"

"In children yes and it's not something that's normally prescribed in adults. I went to a new doctor and convinced him that I had been on Ritalin for years and I needed it to function. I can be very convincing when I want to be."

"I know you can." He reached for her hand and she let him take it. "What you're doing, the coffee, the caffeine drinks, the pills; Bones it's not healthy."

"I don't know what else to do." She admitted softly.

"Bones why are you afraid to sleep?" He whispered softly and she looked at him with tears rolling down her face.

"My nightmares. They are so bad and they seem so real. Every time I fall asleep I'm back in that horrible shack and those men…those men are…and sometimes it's not just them."

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes…sometimes in those nightmares it's you that's…"

"Oh my God Bones I would never hurt you."

"Not while I'm awake but you do in my dreams." She was sobbing softly now and she let Booth pull her to his chest.

"Bones, honey you have to get help. You can't continue to live like this. I'm scared for you. I want you to be happy again. I want to see you smile again."

"I don't think I can ever be happy again."

"You can try. Won't you try Bones? Don't you want to be able to sleep without having nightmares?" She nodded into his chest. "Will you talk to someone?"

"I'll talk to you."

"I can't help you but I'll be with you every step of the way, even if it's just sitting in the waiting room but I'll be there. Will you do it?"

"Not Sweets. I can't."

"I call him and get him to recommend someone who specializes in what you went through. Is that okay?"

"I…I'm scared."

"I know you are. Can I make the call?"

"You'll be there?"

"Every step of the way."

"You can make the call."

Not caring that he would probably be waking Sweets up he pulled out his phone and called their therapist. To his surprise Sweets sounded as if he was awake. Booth quickly told Sweets what he needed and he agreed to make a few calls and pull a few strings to get Bones in with the best therapist in the city today. He promised to text Booth with the appointment information. After hanging up with Sweets Booth called Cam and told her that Bones would not be in the lab today.

"Why did you that? I am perfectly capable of working until my appointment." Bones snapped when Booth hung up the phone.

"You need to sleep."

"Booth…I can't. I really can't."

"Yes you can. What if about if I'm here with you, right next to you? If you have a nightmare I'll try and wake you before it gets too bad but if I can't I'll be there when you wake up reminding you that you are safe."

"I'm so tired."

"I know sweetheart. Come on." She pulled away from his chest, he stood and with their hands still linked they walked to her bedroom. He turned the bed down and then he turned to her and saw that she was shaking. He couldn't believe how scared she was to go to sleep. "Bones I'm going to be right here." She nodded and then slowly climbed into bed under the covers.

"Where are you going?" She asked bolting up when he walked away from her bed.

"I'm going to bring a chair over next to your bed."

"Will you sit on the bed next to me? I would feel better knowing that you were…"

"Sure thing Bones." Walking over to the other side of the bed he kicked off his shoes and climbed in next to her. He arranged some pillows so he was half sitting, half lying beside her on top of the blankets. "You can lay down now." Surprising the hell out of him, she followed his directions but she laid her head on his abdomen and wrapped an arm around his waist. Feeling awkward and not knowing what else to do with his arm that was closest to her he wrapped it around her upper back. "Sleep well my sweet Bones." He whispered.

--

"Hey Bones wake up." He said softly, gently shaking her. She had been asleep for close to five hours. Quite a few times she had started whimpering but he always woke her before it turned into a full fledged nightmare.

"Booth?" She mumbled opening her sleep heavy eyes.

"Yeah it's me. How did you sleep?" She pulled herself out of his embrace and sat up.

"I didn't have any nightmares that I remember. Did I?"

"You started to cry but I woke you up before it got bad."

"Thank you. I have forgotten what it felt like to actually sleep."

"Anytime. That's what friends are for." She smiled shyly at him. "You're appointment is in an hour and a half. Why don't you grab a shower and then we'll go grab something to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Well I am." Flashing her a smile he got out of bed and she followed suit. "I'll be in the living room if you need anything."

"Booth." She called when he got to the bedroom door.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks…for everything."

"You are very welcome."

Forty five minutes later Bones came out into the living room looking refreshed from her shower and nap. She put make up on, something she hadn't done in weeks and her hair was down around her shoulders instead of pulled back off of her neck.

"You look nice, real pretty." Booth told her and he smiled when he saw a blush cover her cheeks.

"Thanks."

"So are you ready to go?"

"I suppose." Booth helped her into her coat and they walked in silence to his SUV. "So do you know anything about the therapist that I'm seeing?" She asked softly once they were on the road.

"Not much. Her name is Dr. Olivia Thompson."

"It's a woman?"

"Yeah. I thought that you would feel more comfortable talking about what happened to you with a woman and she is the best in her field, like you are."

"What field is that?"

"The field of helping rape victims deal with the rape and move on with their lives."

"What if I can't move on with my life Booth? What if being scared and having nightmares is my life now?" Booth parked in front of the diner and turned in his seat to face Bones.

"You can get past this Bones but it's not going to be easy. You're not going to walk out of your session today back to your normal self and your normal life. It's going to be a long road ahead and a lot of hard work. Are you ready for that?"

"I can't do it…by myself." She admitted.

"You don't have to do it by yourself. I'm here if you'll let me."

"Can we go inside now?" She said, clearing ending the conversation.

"Yeah we can go in."

They headed into the diner to their regular table. Besides pie, breakfast food in general is Booth's favorite food and thankfully the diner served breakfast all day so he was able to order both of his favorites. After a slight argument Bones finally ordered a bowl of soup although she insisted that she wasn't hungry.

"Why?" Bones suddenly asked.

"Huh?" Booth swallowed the bite of waffle that he had just taken. "Why what?"

"Why are you willing to help me after I told you that I hated you and wanted you out of my life?"

"You don't want to know."

"If I didn't want to know I wouldn't have asked."

"My reason is selfish." He told her honestly.

"Tell me."

"Eat half of your soup first."

"You're blackmailing me?"

"I sure the hell am. Now you know how it feels." She glared weakly at him but the blackmail worked. She began to eat her soup.

"Okay now tell me why you want to help me?" Bones requested when she was halfway through with her soup.

"Well there are two reasons actually." She looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "The first reason is I love you Bones. I love you as a partner, a friend and as the woman who I want to spend the rest of my life with and I want my partner, my friend and that woman to be happy again."

"That doesn't sound selfish Booth."

"That's not the selfish reason Bones."

"What is the selfish reason?"

"I want you to be happy again because I want a chance to explore what we started before you left. I want to know what we could be together. I want to know how good we can be together. I want to know if I'm the man who can truly make you happy because I know that you are the woman that makes me truly happy." When he saw a look of agony cross over her face he wanted to kick himself. His gut told him not to tell her but she asked and he couldn't lie to her.

"I need some air." She blurted out and bolted from the table.

"Dammit." Booth threw some cash on the table and followed her outside. "Bones…I…" He found her pacing next to his SUV.

"Can we just go?"

"Yeah sure." I unlocked the door and she jumped in and they drove in silence to the therapist's office. "We're here."

"I realize that."

"Are you ready?"

"No. I need a few minutes. Do I have time?" Booth looked at his watch and then nodded. "Would you like to be alone because I can wait outside?"

"Please stay." She requested.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you." She began to pick at an invisible piece of lint on her pants. "What if I can't give you what you want after this is all said and done?" Bones finally whispered.

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't think that I will ever be able to be intimate again. The thought of having sexual intercourse again makes me physically sick. I think that you should find someone that can satisfy your biological urges." Booth sighed and reached for her hand.

"Bones when we made love it was the most spectacular experience of my life. We were amazing in bed together but more importantly we are amazing together out of bed and if the only thing that we can have is our friendship and partnership then that's enough for me and right now I'm not interested in finding someone to satisfy my biological needs. My first, most important priority is helping you get better."

"Booth…"

"No Bones. I'm done talking about it. Now come on. You don't want to be late for your appointment."

--

"Dr. Temperance Brennan?" Booth and Bones looked up and saw a young woman, about the same age as Bones standing in the doorway.

"Yes. That's me." Bones said standing up.

"Hello. I'm Olivia Thompson. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you as well Dr. Thompson."

"Oh please. Call me Olivia." The young doctor gave Bones an encouraging smile. "Are you ready to come back and talk Dr. Brennan?"

"You can call me Temperance." Booth could tell she was stalling.

"Okay Temperance. Would you like to come back now?"

"I…uhhh…Can Booth come with me?" Booth looked at Bones in surprise. He really didn't want to go with her, hear what happened to her in great detail but if she wanted him with her then he wouldn't hesitate to be with her.

"If that's what you want then it's fine with me." Bones turned to Booth and he immediately jumped up and the three of them walked in together. Once Booth and Bones were settled on together on the couch Bones reached over and clutched Booth's hand tightly.

"You look uncomfortable Temperance. Do you not want to be here?" Olivia began.

"I mean no disrespect but I don't believe in psychology and honestly I don't want to be here but Booth wants me to give it a try so here I am."

"Do you always do what Booth wants you to do?" A smile escaped Bones' mouth.

"No I don't."

"Then why are you here?" Bones took a minute before she answered.

"Because this time I agree with Booth. I can't get better on my own and I need help."

"Was that hard for you to admit?"

"Very. I'm used to helping myself."

"Well I hope that I will be able to help you."

"I hope so too."

"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a forensic anthropologist that consults with the F.B.I. on murder cases when the bodies are too decomposed to be identified or cause of death determined. Booth and I are partners."

"Do you enjoy your job Temperance?"

"If you would have asked me that question six months ago I would have said that I love my job but now I'm not sure how to answer that. I don't feel the same way about it anymore. I feel like I've lost my passion."

"Why do you think that you have lost your passion?"

"It's because of my passion that I am in my current state of mind. It was my love of ancient Bones that made me take that trip."

"I spoke with Dr. Sweets and he told me what happened to you during your trip and I promise Temperance that we will deal with it but it's going to take time. Right now, today I want to deal with any major issues that first and foremost in your life right now, whatever they may be."

"Okay."

"So what issues can we discuss?" Olivia asked her patient softly. Bones looked at Booth with fear in her eyes.

"It's okay Bones. You can trust Olivia and I'm right here next to you."

Taking a deep breath Bones took the first step in her recovery and she told her therapist of her nightmares with her friend and partner beside her, as he always is.


	8. Chapter 8

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

_**Thanks for your patience in waiting for an update. Things have been crazy. Hope you enjoy it.**_

"Temperance, tell me why you choose to take Tracy's place." Olivia requested.

Since her first therapy session, Bones had returned faithfully twice a week with her devoted friend by her side. Since this was only her seventh visit Olivia and Bones hadn't really gotten into much detail regarding the rape, she was concentrating on teaching Bones some coping mechanisms on dealing with her fears and anxiety. For today's session Olivia's goal was to begin to have her patient discuss and deal with the rapes.

"I know how to physically defend myself. I assumed that I had a better chance at survival then she did."

"Is that the only reason?" Olivia gently probed. She sensed that there was something more and she was right.

"She was a wife and a mother. Her husband and children love and need her. I…I don't have any of those things. I thought that if anyone should die it should be me because no needs or loves me." Bones heard a sharp intake of breath next to her. She turned and saw a look of hurt on Booth's face.

"Bones." He whispered softly. "That is so not true." Olivia made a note to deal with her patient's feeling of not being loved when clearly the man sitting next to her, who has come to every appointment with her, loves her more than she knows.

"Tell me what happened when you were taken away from the group." Olivia requested.

"I…I…don't want to talk about it."

"You will never get better if you don't talk Temperance and isn't that why you are here, to get better?" Bones nodded. "Then tell me what happened." Booth reached over and took her hand and squeezed it in encouragement. Knowing that she had Booth's support she took a deep breath and began her story, or more accurately her nightmare.

"They took me to a shack. It was cold and dark. For awhile they just verbally assaulted me and then I assumed they got bored and left me alone. I tried to get out; I really did but…" Her voice was shaking. "I couldn't. They locked the door from the outside and I did everything that I could think of to get the door opened. I kicked it, I threw my body against it, I tried to jimmy the lock with a stick but nothing worked. I was stuck. Maybe if I would have kicked the door harder or maybe if I would have used more of my upper body strength then maybe I could have opened the door and then none of this would have happened. If only I…"

"You did everything that could have been done." Olivia told her. "What happened next?"

"Since there was nothing else I could do, I sat on the dirty floor and I must have dozed off because the next thing I know I was waking up and there were four men in the room with me, taking off my clothes. I attempted to fight them off but…" Tears began to fall from her eyes. "But…one of them was holding my arms, another was holding my hips and the third was holding my legs while the fourth ripped my clothes off of my body. I knew…I knew what was going to happen. I knew that one of those men was going to rape me and I fought to get them off of me but they were too strong for me. I couldn't get them off. I couldn't get those bastards off of me." She began to cry softly. When Booth reached out to place a comforting hand on her arm she flinched away from him and he pulled away.

"Please continue Temperance."

"Two of them …each grabbed one of my legs and spread them apart. One of them sat on my chest…he held my arms at my side and he…"

"He what?" Olivia asked.

"He forced his penis in my mouth." She cried out. Olivia handed Bones a box of tissues and gave her a few minutes to pull herself together. "I didn't want to…but…but…he forced it in my mouth. It made me sick, I wanted to vomit and I wanted it out of my mouth so I bit him."

"Did he punish you for biting his penis?" Bones nodded. "How were you punished?"

"He…he…punched me in the face until…I…passed out."

"And then what happened next?"

"When I came to again…my legs were still being held apart and one of those assholes was raping me. I started to scream and struggle. My arms were free and I began to hit the one that was sitting on top of my chest but it was pointless. That was when my wrist was broke. He easily held my arms down so I could get raped."

"How long did this go on?"

"Hours." She sobbed. "It went on for hours. I never thought that it would stop Just when one would finish they would change positions so another bastard could have his way with me. It hurt so bad. They were so rough. I wanted them to stop; I begged them to stop but they wouldn't. They just continued to rape me over and over and over." She pulled her hand away from Booth's, scooted over to the corner of the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest. "I just wanted them to stop." She sobbed as she rocked back and forth.

Booth wanted to reach out and hold and comfort her but he knew now wasn't the time. He knew that she would either freak out, push him away or possibly both. His heart was breaking for her. He hated that she was in so much pain and if those bastards weren't already dead he would have walked right out of this office and shot every last one of them.

"Temperance, was that the only time that you were raped?" She shook her head no. "Tell me about it." She shook her head no again. "You need to talk about this."

"No. I don't want to. I just want to forget about."

"You've been down that road before and you know that it hasn't worked for you." Olivia gently reminded her. Bones didn't respond. She just sat on the couch and sobbed quietly.

"Talk to us Bones." Booth begged.

"What do you want to know?" She yelled through her tears. "Do you really want to know that I was raped every single day, multiple times? Sometimes it was just one of them, sometimes two or three and sometimes it was all of those bastards and nothing, I mean nothing stopped them. When I had my period that's when they decided to stick their dicks in my ass and get their rocks off, they would tie my hands up above my head so I was helpless. I have never experienced such pain before. It hurt so bad and I screamed but it just pissed them off. One time I assume that they got tired of hearing me scream so to get me to shut up he shoved his gun up my ass and told me that if I didn't act like I enjoyed what he was doing to me then he would pull the trigger." Booth wanted to vomit. "There. Is that what you wanted to know?" She screamed.

"Temperance, that was very good."

"No it wasn't." Bones yelled. "I didn't want to remember it. I want to forget. I don't want to remember." She was now crying uncontrollably. Booth stood and walked over to Bones. He had to help her feel better. Kneeling in front of her he wrapped his arms around her shaking body and she immediately stiffened.

"Shhh baby. It's gonna be okay." He soothed.

"No it's not." She screamed, wrenching herself out of his arms and swinging hers in the process. "It will never be okay again." Her hands were balled up in fists and she swung one of those at his face, her fist landing squarely on his jaw. "Don't touch me. Don't touch me."

"I'm sorry Bones. I'm so sorry." He cried out.

"Seeley, maybe you should step outside and give us some time." Olivia said rushing over to her patient.

"Yeah. Sure." With tears rolling down his face he left the office. As he shut the door behind him he heard Olivia reminding Bones that she was in a safe place.

Rushing to the bathroom, he barely made it to the stall before his breakfast came back up. Once his stomach was completely empty he fell to the floor, placed his head in his hands and sobbed. He had an idea of what she went through but to hear her describe it in excruciating detail was too much for him. She fought for her life and for what? So she could spend the rest of her life plagued with these awful memories. It didn't seem fair and he wasn't sure if she would ever get through this.

--

"You did very well today Temperance." Olivia softly told Bones an hour later as they were wrapping up their session. "It took a lot of courage to talk about the rapes."

"I don't feel courageous. I feel like a coward."

"You are far from a coward." Bones lifted her head and looked around the room.

"Booth. Where is Booth?"

"I asked him to give us some time alone. You were so frightened and I felt that his presence was making it worse for you."

"Booth wouldn't hurt me."

"I believe that you believe that but when you are in the midst of a memory you can't see anyone but the men who rapped you. Seeley was trying to comfort you and you punched him in his jaw." Tears filled her eyes.

"What have I done?" She moaned.

"He understands Temperance."

"I must disgust him. He left because he can't stand to look at me now that he knows what happened to me." She was crying again because she lost her best friend.

"That's not true."

"Yes it is. He is disgusted with me." Olivia stood and went to open the door to her waiting room.

"Seeley can you come in here please?" He immediately rose to his feet and walked into the room. Olivia noticed that his eyes were red and swollen from crying. He chose the chair farthest away from the couch because he didn't want to upset Bones.

"See…he is disgusted with me." Bones sobbed when she saw where he sat.

"Bones?"

"Temperance believes that you are disgusted with her because you know now what she went through."

"I've known what she has gone through since the day I found her." Booth explained softly. "I just didn't know the details."

"And now that you do you can't stand to look at me." Bones accused him tearfully. "You're repulsed by me."

"I am repulsed Bones." A sob escaped her throat. "Oh hell, that came out wrong. I'm repulsed by what those bastards did you not by you sweetheart. I could never be repulsed or disgusted at you. This wasn't your fault." She began to cry harder. Booth looked helplessly at Olivia who nodded. He slowly got up and went to sit next to her. He hesitantly placed his arms around her and she allowed him to pull her to his chest and hold her until she stopped crying.

--

"I have to pick up Parker. Do you mind riding with me so I'm not late?" They had just left Olivia's office and were walking to his S.U.V "I don't want to take a chance of being late and Rebecca not letting me see him." She has done that to him before and he didn't want to risk that happening again.

"That's fine." She mumbled.

"Thanks Bones. I really appreciate it." He reached out and took her hand in his and she let him hold it.

As soon as Booth pulled into Rebecca's driveway, the front door opened and Parker ran out. By the time Booth put his S.U.V. in park, Parker was standing next to the driver's side door. He reluctantly released Bones' hand and climbed out of the S.U.V. "Hey bub." Booth greeted his boy, as he lifted him up in his arms.

"Hi daddy. You were almost late."

"Yeah I know. I cut it close. Come on, let's go get your bag and say goodbye to your mother." Booth placed him back on the ground and he ran back to the house. "Do you want to come with?" Booth asked Bones.

"No. I'll wait."

"We'll be back in a minute." She nodded and Booth shut the door and walked up to the house. "Hey Rebecca."

"Hello Seeley. Is that Dr. Brennan in your truck?"

"Yeah. Her session ran late so she rode over here with me so I wouldn't be late."

"I'm ready dad." Parker announced.

"Where are your skates?" Booth asked.

"Oh crap. I'll be right back." Parker threw his bag down and ran back upstairs.

"How is she holding up?" Rebecca asked her ex.

"She's holding. I'm a little worried about her though. She had a really rough session today."

"It's good that she has you to help her through this."

"It sucks that she has to go through this."

"I've got my skates. Let's go dad."

"Say goodbye to your mother."

"Bye mom."

"Parker." Booth said sternly so Parker dropped his bag and walked over and hugged his mom.

"Bye mom. I love you."

"Bye Parker. I love you too. Have fun."

"I will." Parker grabbed his dad's hand. "Come on dad. Let's go."

"Bye Rebecca." Booth said as Parker drug him away.

"Bye Seeley."

"Dad is that Bones?"

"It sure is."

"Is she coming with us?"

"I don't think so. She had a rough day and probably just wants to go home."

"Well I'm going to ask her." Parker stated and ran to the S.U.V. leaving Booth in his dust.

"Parker wait." Booth shouted but it was too late. Parker was already climbing in the S.U.V.

"Hi. Bones."

"Hello Parker."

"Bones are you coming to dinner and skating with us?"

"I…uhhh…well…"

"Parker buckle your seatbelt." Booth ordered as he climbed in the driver's seat.

"So Bones are you going to come with us? We're going to have lots of fun. Have you ever been ice skating? I love it. I'm pretty good but not as good as my dad is. He is really good. So are you going to come with us?"

"I don't want to intrude on your time with your father."

"What does intrude mean?" Parker asked.

"It means butting in." Booth explained. "And Bones you would not be intruding. You could never intrude. Parker and I love hanging out with you."

"Come on Bones. Please come with us. Please, pretty please." Parker begged.

"Yeah Bones. Come with us. Pretty please?" Booth echoed. For the first time all day Booth saw Bones smile.

"I guess that I can't say no to that can I?"

"Yipee." Parker cheered and everyone laughed.

They went to the diner for dinner where Parker and Booth ordered cheeseburgers, fries and pie and Bones ordered a salad. Booth wanted her to eat more but didn't want to push her in front of Parker so he did the next best thing. He set his fries in between them and as he expected, she couldn't resist and she stole his fries throughout the meal. For a short while Bones forgot about her rapes and she actually felt normal again.

After the boys polished off a half of a pie by themselves Booth paid the bill and the three of them went to the local ice rink. As soon as they walked into the rink Parker saw a couple of his friends and he ran off to skate with them leaving Booth and Bones alone.

"You wanna skate?" Booth quietly asked her.

"It's awfully crowded out there and I'm not very good."

"There is an adult rink right over there." Booth said pointing. "And it's not very crowded at all."

"But what about Parker?"

"Are you stalling Bones?" He gave her his irresistible smile and she nodded. "Parks will be fine. He's got his friends and trust me, he won't want to hang out with his old man."

"You're not old."

"It's another term for dad. So what do say? Will you skate with me?"

"I need some skates."

"So is that a yes?"

"It's a yes." They quickly rented her some skates and when she put them on Booth tied them for her. "I've known how to tie my shoes for quite a long time."

"I know that Bones but the laces have to be really tight to support your ankles. Okay. We're all done. Let's go." Taking her hand, he pulled her to her feet and they slowly made there way to the rink. As soon as her blades hit the ice she wobbled and almost went down but Booth caught her. "Whoa there girl. Remember to go nice and slow."

"Now I remember why I didn't like this."

"Come on, it's not that bad."

"You're not the one who keeps falling." Bones said and Booth burst out laughing.

"Come on." He grabbed her hand and helped her glide on the ice.

Over the next half hour the skated together around the rink in silence, only occasionally speaking when Bones would slip and Booth would keep her steady. Parker came over once to get money from his dad for something to drink but other than that, they were virtually alone, reminding them both of the night they spent skating after Booth got his concussion. They both had so much fun. Even though neither of them would have admitted it to each other that night, they both loved all of the physical contact that they shared, his hands on her waist, holding hands; neither of them wanted the sun to rise.

"Hold on Bones. I'm gonna spin you." Taking both of her hands he spun her in a circle and she giggled. Booth was so lost in the wonderful sound of her laughter that he wasn't paying attention and his skates got tangled up in each other and he lost his balance. Unable to regain his balance Booth fell forward right onto Bones. "Umph." He groaned when they hit the ice. "Bones are you all right?" When she didn't answer he looked down at her and saw that her blue eyes were dark and filled with fear.

"Get OFF of me." She shouted as she began struggling underneath him.

"Bones…I…" He quickly scrambled off of her, onto his knees. When he reached out his hand to help her up she scooted away from him in a panic and he knew that she was no longer with him, that she was back in her torture chamber. "Bones it's me Booth." She shook her head. "Temperance, focus. You're safe. It's me your friend Booth, You're back home in D.C. and you're at the ice skating rink with me and Parker." Booth watched as she blinked her eyes and then looked around the rink and back at him.

"Booth." She whispered.

"Yeah Bones it's me."

"Oh God. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She attempted to get up but she couldn't get her balance and she kept falling.

"Let me help you."

"I can do it." Booth watched helplessly as fell on her butt after another attempt to get up.

"Bones please, let me help you."

"I said that I can do it by myself." He had to bite his lip to keep from laughing as she scooted on her butt over to the wall so she could pull herself up and then using the wall she wobbled over to the exit.

"Bones are you okay?" He asked her when he caught up with her at a table.

"I…I…shouldn't have come. It was a bad idea." She had tears running down her face and hers hands were shaking as she tried to untie her skates.

"No it wasn't." He whispered softly kneeling down in front of her, placing his hands over hers. "It was a great idea. We had lots of fun."

"And I went and ruined it."

"No sweetheart. You didn't ruin anything." He reached up and gently wiped her tears away with his thumb.

"I'm sorry Booth. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." He silently finished unlacing her skates and then he gently pulled them off. "Hey do you wanna get a milkshake while we wait for Parker to finish?" He asked as he put her boots back on.

"I would rather go and sit out in your truck."

"You shouldn't be by yourself. It's no fun to be alone. What's fun is drinking a milkshake and watching all of the kids fall on their asses with me. So what do you say?" She slowly nodded. "All right. Thatta girl."

Booth quickly pulled off his skates and put his shoes back on. "What flavor do you want?" He asked as they walked to the snack bar.

"My usual."

"Strawberry it is."

After the milkshakes were ordered they stood in the children's rink and Booth watched Bones stare at the ice with a sad, lost look on her face. He wanted so bad to take all of her pain and bad memories away from her. He wanted her to be happy again, to live her life without fear but looking at her now, seeing how sad and lost she was he doubted that it would ever be possible.

--

A knock at his door roused Booth from sleep. He groaned because of the pain in his back. Falling asleep on the couch was never a good thing for his back. He pried his eyes opened and glanced at the clock on his cable box and saw that it was twenty minutes after one in the morning. "Hang on, I'm coming." He yelled to whoever was knocking at his door as he got up from the couch. Thoroughly pissed off he swung the door open. "Do you have idea what…" He roar was frozen in his throat when he saw her standing in front of him sobbing. "Bones come in." He reached out and pulled her into his apartment and over to his couch. "What happened?" He asked softly.

"I…I…it's…horrible." She sobbed. Booth wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.

"Shhh. It's all gonna be okay. I'm here." He soothed as she sobbed.

"No…it's never…going to be…okay…never." She sobbed.

Booth wanted to respond but he knew right now no spoken words would help her right now so not knowing what else to do, he just held her as her body was wracked with sobs.

"Daddy?" Booth looked up and saw Parker standing in the hallway looking half asleep and worried. "Why is Bones crying?"

"She is just sad. Go back to bed."

"Why is she sad?"

"Go to bed and we'll talk in the morning." He nodded and padded barefoot back to his room.

"I'm sorry." Bones blubbered as she pulled out of Booth's embrace. "I forgot that Parker was spending the night. I shouldn't have come." She stood and began to walk to the door.

"Don't go Bones." She froze but didn't turn around. "You should have come. I'm glad that you did. Please, come back here and tell me what happened." She slowly turned back around and returned to the couch. "Did you have a nightmare Bones?" He asked gently and she nodded. "Tell me about it."

Booth had spent two weeks sleeping at her place, in her bed with an arm wrapped around her. When she had gone three days without nightmares they both decided that it was time for him to return home so she could try to live a normal life. Every morning thereafter, when Booth went to the lab with coffee and breakfast to check on Bones he observed that she looked well rested and the bags under her eyes haven't returned so he knew that she was getting a good night's sleep.

"I don't understand why the nightmares have returned." She questioned tearfully.

"Probably because you talked about it during your session. Tell me about your nightmares Temperance."

"Same as it always was. I was being raped over and over by those bastards." She took a minute to try and get her crying under control. "The only difference was this time…they were in…my apartment…in my home where I am supposed to …I'm supposed to feel safe there but now if I see my couch, the kitchen floor…my bathroom…my bed…everywhere I look I am reminded of that God damned nightmare of being raped in my own home." She was on the verge of hysterics. "I couldn't stay there. I can't stay in my own house. Those bastards have taken everything from me; my life, my home…everything." He had no idea what to say to her to help her feel better. He didn't think that there were any words that would help at this point. "I just wish they would have killed me. It would have been so much better if I had just died."

"Oh my God. Bones. No that is not true. Nothing would be good if you would have died." He said desperately through his tears but she didn't hear him. She was crying too hard.

He knew that if she hadn't of gone through what she went though, the rape and torture, she never would have thought let alone spoken about a desire to be dead but those bastards had broken her. Feeling fear like he had never felt before and not knowing what else to do he gently laid her sobbing body on the couch and he paged Olivia. When she called back three minutes later he told her what was going on, what Bones said about wishing she was dead Olivia recommend that he take her to the hospital to be admitted for suicide watch and intensive invasive therapy. After calling Rebecca and asking her to come and pick Parker up he returned to the couch and held her.

"Bones, sweetheart I'm really worried about you right now." He whispered with a heavy heart. "I'm scared that you are going to hurt yourself. I'm going to take you to the hospital to get the help that you need. I know that it's not what you want but it's the only option right now. I think that it's the only way that you will get better." He wished that she would respond but she didn't. Her sobbing had ceased and now she was just laying on the couch with tears streaming down her face.

--

Booth stood outside of her hospital room watching his Bones sleeping. Olivia had called ahead so she was admitted right away. She never spoke a word on the way to the hospital or once they arrived. While Booth was speaking with the physiatrist on call they nurses gave her a sedative to help her sleep and when he returned an hour later she was sound asleep. The doctor told him that she wouldn't be waking up for quite a few hours so he just kissed her forehead, whispered to her sleeping form how much he loved her and slipped out of the room.

Booth was so tired and worried about Bones he didn't remember the drive home but before he realized he was parking in front of his apartment. Taking the stairs two at a time he let himself into his apartment and he was shocked to find Rebecca sleeping on the couch. When he left he thought that Rebecca was going to Parker home with her. He gently shook Rebecca awake and they walked into the kitchen.

"Why aren't you home?" He asked as he handed her a beer.

"Thanks." Together they opened their respective beers and took a refreshing swig. "Parker refused to leave and you know how stubborn he can be."

"Hmmm. Wonder where he got that from." Booth quipped with a small smile.

"He's really worried about Dr. Brennan. He said that he woke up and he saw her crying."

"Yeah. He did."

"It's bad isn't it?"

"Yeah. It's bad."

"What happened tonight that led to her crying on your couch in the middle of the night?"

"She had a nightmare. It was a pretty bad one and she couldn't stay at home so she came here."

"Is she going to be okay?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. I've never seen her like this Becca and I'm scared."

"You guys aren't just partners anymore are you?" She asked him softly.

"I don't know what we are anymore. Before she left on her trip we took our relationship to the next level and expressed our feelings to each other. After she got home she pushed me away at first but now we are back to being friends." Booth explained miserably.

"You're in love with her aren't you?"

"I'm crazy in love with her. " He admitted to his ex.

"Look Seeley, I don't know for sure what happened to Dr. Brennan but from what you have told me and from what I've observed I think that I know what happened. I've had clients who have gone through something similar and most of them get through it. They never forget what happened to them but they get through it. Dr. Brennan is a strong and determined woman. With you by her side as her friend I know that she will get through this nightmare."

"Maybe she will but I doubt that she will ever be the same woman that I love." Rebecca could tell that he was miserable. Placing her beer on the counter she walked over and hugged him tightly.

"She'll never be the same woman she was she before. Whatever happened to her will always be in the back of her mind but I believe that she will get better and you will see the woman you love, the woman you knew, again."

"Thanks Becca." He sniffed.

"I'm going to go home."

"Thanks for coming over. I appreciate it."

"No problem. Call me if you need anything else."

"Thanks. I will. Are you okay to drive? If not you can crash on my bed and I'll crash on the couch."

"I had one sip of beer. I'm fine."

Booth walked Rebecca to the door. The hugged once more and then she left him alone. Glancing at the clock he saw that it was going on four thirty. Sighing in frustration and exhaustion he locked the door, turned off the lights and went to his bedroom for a few hours of sleep before Parker woke up. Removing his jeans and tee shirt he left them on the floor where they fell and then he crawled into bed.

Even though he was exhausted he couldn't sleep. He lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. He couldn't stop thinking about Bones or seeing her on his couch so broken. Suddenly his tears began to fall hard and fast. Within minutes he was sobbing for the woman he loved.

"Daddy?" When Booth heard his son's voice he tried to control his sobs so he wouldn't scare him.

"Parker what are doing awake?" Booth said not looking at his son.

"I don't know. I just woke up and then I heard you crying."

"I'm okay. You go on back to bed." Parker decided that he wasn't going to listen to his father. He climbed up in the bed next to his dad and laid his head on Booth's arm.

"Why are you crying? Did Bones die?" Booth pulled Parker close to him.

"No bub. Bones didn't die."

"Then why are you crying so bad?"

"Remember that I told you that she went on vacation?" Booth felt Parker nod. "Well when she was on her vacation some pretty bad things happened to her."

"What bad things?"

"Really bad Parker and that's all you need to know."

"Will you tell me when I have hair under my arms?"

"Probably not."

"So are you crying because of the bad stuff that happened to Bones?" Parker inquired.

"Yeah. That's why I'm crying."

"And that's why Bones was crying earlier?"

"You're too smart for your own good. You know that?"

"Bones said that someone can never be too smart." Booth chuckled. "Did you take her home when mom came over?"

"No. I had to take her to the hospital."

"Is she sick?" Booth could hear the panic in Parker's voice.

"In a way." He wasn't quite sure how to explain the situation to him. "She is going to stay in the hospital so she can get help with all the bad stuff."

"Are you and Bones boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"No. We are just friends."

"Do you want Bones to be your girlfriend?" It amazed Booth that his son wanted to have a deep conversation at four thirty in the morning.

"Yeah Parker I want Bones to be my girlfriend."

"Then why don't you ask her?"

"It's complicated bub."

"You're just saying that because you don't want to talk about it."

"Most of the time yes, but not tonight. It really is complicated."

"It shouldn't be. You should just ask her."

"Thanks Parker. I'll keep that in mind. Now come on let's sleep."

"Can I sleep with you?"

"I would like that." Booth didn't want to be alone tonight and Parker was the perfect company. He snuggled against his father and was asleep within minutes. Booth on the other hand, stayed awake thinking of Bones. He couldn't get her out of his mind. He wished that life was as simple as his nine year old son thought. If life was simple there wouldn't be murder or crime and his Bones never would have gotten so hurt, physically and mentally. With a sigh he turned on his side, cradled Parker against his chest as silent tears rolled down his face.


	9. Chapter 9

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

"Seeley Booth here to see Temperance Brennan." Bones had made it through her seventy two hour suicide watch successfully if one could consider it a success that she didn't kill herself. Once her suicide watch was completed Olivia had her moved to another facility that had an entire floor dedicated to rape victims and their recovery.

"I.D. please." The woman at the reception desk requested and Booth handed her his F.B.I. identification. "I need the suitcase please."

"It's just clothes I brought for her. She only has the clothes she was brought to the hospital in. Her doctor said I could bring her fresh clothes."

"Yes, that is correct but it is our policy to go through anything that is brought in. We need to make sure that there is nothing that can hurt our patient. It's nothing personal."

"I understand." He handed over the suitcase.

As Booth stood there and watched as the receptionist went through the suitcase, pulling out Bones clothes, her underwear, bras, maxi pads, tampons, hair care products and makeup, he felt very awkward. It wasn't right that a stranger was going through Bones' personal things. Hell, he didn't even go through the suitcase. He didn't even feel right packing the suitcase so he had Angela pack it for him. She was a woman, Bones' best friend and she would know what was needed. He had no idea what she needed.

"She can't have the razor." The receptionist told him. "You can pick it up when you leave."

"But how will she shave?"

"We will provide her with an electric razor. She can't hurt herself with an electric razor." He nodded in understanding. "Also she can't have the curling iron or the straightening iron. There is a possibility of her burning herself." Booth watched as the receptionist place the items back in the suitcase and then she buzzed the door open and he walked through. "The orderly will take you to the visitor's room."

Booth grabbed the suitcase and followed the orderly to the visitor's room. "She'll be brought in shortly. Go ahead and grab any table." Booth nodded and looked around and spotted a small table in the corner of the room. Walking through the maze of tables Booth made his way back to the table. As he waited for Bones he discreetly checked out the other people that were there. Seeing the other woman that were there with the familiar broken looks on their face made his blood boil. It wasn't fair that so many women had to go through the pain and hurt of rape. Sex is a wonderfully beautiful thing that should be treasured, not forcefully taken away from someone. He felt tears fill his eyes. Sensing her presence, Booth lifted his eyes and he saw his Bones standing across the room, watching him. Blinking back his tears, he rose to his feet, smiled and held out his hand, encouraging her to come over to him.

Pushing aside her nervous anxiety Bones slowly made her way over to her best friend. She missed him desperately these past seventy two hours. Even though she knew that they could never again have what they shared the night before she left she still loved him and treasured their friendship. She knows, without a doubt that she would be more lost than she already is without his support. She bypassed his outstretched hand and fell directly into his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He immediately responded and wrapped his arms around her upper back, returning her hug.

After about five minutes they reluctantly broke their embrace and they sat at the table across from each other. Bones' placed her hands awkwardly on the table and Booth reached out and clasped his hand over one of hers. "You look good Bones. Real good." And she did. She looked so much better then when he brought her to the hospital.

"I think that I'll feel better once I get out of these clothes."

"Oh yeah. I brought you fresh clothes. I asked Angela to pack for you because I figured that she would know better than I would what you needed but they took your razor and the things you need to curl and straighten your hair."

"Why?"

"Because those are items that you could use to hurt yourself." He told her softly.

"I'm fine Booth. I have no intention of hurting myself. That night when I came to your apartment…I wasn't myself. I had just woken up from some very bad nightmares and I wasn't thinking clearly. I was so overwhelmed and I said some things, I thought some things that I never would have if I was in a normal state of mind. I'm fine now. I have no desire to kill myself." She whispered softly.

"I'm so glad that you are feeling better. I really am Bones."

"So, can you please take me home?"

"God Bones, I really want to."

"Okay then. Let's go." She started to stand but Booth gently pulled her back down.

"You can't leave sweetheart."

"Yes I can. I'm fine."

"I know that you want to believe that Bones but I don't think that you are. Olivia thinks that the twice weekly therapy sessions aren't enough."

"It is plenty."

"No sweetheart. Four hours a week isn't nearly enough. Olivia and I, we both feel that you need more than the therapy you have been getting and this is the place to get it."

"Booth please, I don't want to stay here."

"I know you don't want to stay Bones but you need a lot of help. This place is really the best place for you to be right now. Every woman on this floor has been raped. You won't be alone. There are other women here who have been through what you have been through and I think that with them and the therapy that you can get here you will get better, faster."

"I don't like it here. I feel so…alone…and I can't…be alone. I get scared when I'm…alone." Alligator tears began to fall from her blue eyes, breaking Booth's heart.

"Visiting hours are over in five more minutes." An orderly announced.

"You used to love being alone Bones. Being alone shouldn't scare you and that's one reason why you need to stay here and get help."

"Please. I can't stay here." She begged.

"Please don't make this any harder then it has to be Bones." Booth had tried to keep from crying but seeing her so vulnerable, begging him to take her home was too much for him. "Please sweetheart, stay and get the help that you need."

"I…need you here…with me."

"I'll be here everyday during visiting hours to see you." She shook her head no. Booth wiped his tears, stood up and pulled Bones to her feet. "My time is almost up. Give me a hug." Bones slowly wrapped her arms around his neck and they held each other tightly until the orderly announced that it was time to leave. "I gotta go Bones."

"Don't leave me." She mumbled into his ear, tightening her grip around his neck.

"Bones." He whispered as he gently unlocked her hands from the back of his neck and pulling away from her, but only slightly so he could see her face. Placing his hand on her shoulders he leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'm sorry sweetheart. I need to go."

"Don't." She begged. He was tempted to grab her hand and take her out of this place but he resisted. He knew that she needed to stay and get help.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He reluctantly released his hands from her shoulders, smiled softly at her, turned away from her and walked to the door.

"Booth." She yelled through her tears and he froze but never turned around. "Please don't leave me." Shedding tears of his own he resumed walking to the door, her tearful pleas ringing in his ears.

Once he was out of the visitor's room he rushed down to the elevator. Once inside he tried to get his tears under control but he couldn't stop them. He hated leaving her here but he knew that it was what she needed. As he waited for the elevator to get to the ground floor a flier caught his eye. He reached out and grabbed it. It was an advertisement for a support group for family members, friends or loved ones of rape victims ran by Dr. Olivia Thompson. The elevator doors opened, he stepped out, threw the flier in the trashcan next to elevator and went to his SUV and sobbed until he fell into an exhausted sleep.

When he woke up an hour later he rubbed the sleep from his swollen eyes, turned the key and started the truck when he noticed the clock on his dashboard. The support group started in five minutes. His gut was telling him that he needed to go, that it might help him be able to help Bones. "Oh what the hell?" He mumbled as he turned off the truck.

Returning to the building and found the room that the support group was being held in. He was standing outside debating whether or not to go in when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning he saw the familiar face of Olivia, Bones' therapist. "Waiting on an invitation?" She asked with a smile.

"I guess." He answered meekly. "I honestly don't know why I am here."

"I think that you'll find this very helpful. You'll hear from people that have been through what you are going through, the helplessness you feel for example and hearing how others have dealt with those feelings may help you."

"I don't know about this." He was suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

"Just observe. You don't have to participate if you don't want to."

"Observation. I am great at observation." Olivia held opened the door and Booth stepped inside. Walking through the door he felt a sense of De Ja Vu overtake him. The chairs set up in a circle, the tables with coffee and doughnuts, he had experienced this before. "Wow. This reminds me of my Gamblers Anonymous meetings."

"Why don't you grab a cup of coffee or doughnut and then find a seat. We'll be getting started shortly."

"Uhh thanks." Booth walked over to the coffee pot and took in his surroundings. He wasn't quite sure what he expected but this wasn't it. People were smiling and laughing, something he had no desire to do and what surprised him the most was the amount of woman that were in attendance. He assumed that this room mostly be filled with men but he was wrong. At least half of the people in attendance were female.

"If everyone will grab a seat we will get started." Olivia announced and everyone made their way to the circle of chairs. "Welcome everyone. It's good to see those of you who are returning and welcome to the couple of new guests. Megan would you like to start?"

Booth groaned inwardly when Megan introduced herself, first name only, and shared with the group who in her life was raped. Booth, again found himself surprised to learn that not only were there spouses or significant others of rape victims but there were fathers, mothers, siblings and friends of women who had been raped. "I'm Seeley and my partner…err…girlfriend…I mean my friend was raped." Some people sent him weird looks but he ignored them.

Over the next thirty five minutes Booth listened intently as the people around him shared their stories about how their loved ones were raped, how it effected their lives and the feelings of helplessness and agony that they felt, the same feelings that he was experiencing. It comforted him a little to know that he wasn't the only one who was feeling like he did.

"Seeley, would you like to share?" Olivia gently asked him.

"Yeah, I'm a little curious as to the confusion about who in your life was raped; partner, girlfriend or just a friend. Would you care to clarify Seeley?" Mark asked with a smile.

Booth had walked into this support group with no intention of sharing anything, he was just going to observe but know he discovered that he wanted to share. "Temperance, that is who was raped. I'm an F.B.I agent and she is a scientist who identifies bodies and we are partners. Over the years we became best friends and right before….we became romantically involved. She was leaving on a trip, out of the country to work. I had a bad feeling about it and I asked her not to go but she insisted that everything would be fine but it wasn't. Her group was kidnapped and it took me two weeks to get to her." He took a deep breath to keep from crying. He didn't want to break down in front of these strangers. "For two weeks she was beaten and raped. She was raped one on one, she was ganged raped and she was sodimized over and over and I couldn't save her. I got to her too damn late. Bones, that's Temperance but I call her Bones." He said with a small smile. "She is the strongest woman that I know but those bastards broke her. She is no longer the same woman that she once was. Her heart and soul are broken and I am so scared that she will never find her way back. She is upstairs right now and when it was time for me to go, she begged me…" His tears were now falling and he couldn't stop them. "She was so scared and she begged me not to leave her but I did anyway. I left her scared and alone. What kind of friend does that?"

"Seeley, believe me, I know that leaving your friend scared and crying was hard. My wife was treated upstairs as well and she didn't want me to leave her but it was one of the best things that I could have done for her. It helped her so much and when she was released she thanked me." Bradley said encouragingly.

"What can I do to help her?" Booth asked his voice full of desperation.

"It sounds like you are doing everything that you can to help her. I didn't know what to do for my daughter after she was raped so I did the only thing I could think of. I just was there for her. I hugged her when she cried. I held her through the night when she had nightmares. I sat there patiently while she screamed and yelled at me and I laughed with her when she finally started laughing again. A few months ago Diana told me that me that just being me was one of the major things that helped her make it through her recovery." Sandra offered.

"Will she ever be the same person that she once was? Wait, I know that she will never be the same woman she was before but…will she get better? Will she ever be happy again?" He didn't care that that may never be able to love him again like she did before she left. He didn't care that she may never able to have sex with him again. What he did care about was the possibility that she may never be happy again and that's what scared him the most. He could live with her never loving him or making love to her again. It would sadden him but he understood it. What he couldn't live with is his Bones, the woman he loves more than anything, never being happy again. She was the most wonderful woman in the world and she deserved to be happy.

"If she is a strong as you say she is then I think that she will get better."

"It may take a long time but eventually she will be happy again."

"Temperance may even be the woman that she once was or at least pretty damn close."

"You are doing what all of us has done for our loved ones. Have patience Seeley and you and she may have what you had before she left on her trip."

Booth was amazed at all of the encouragement that these fellow group members were. Since they had been through what he was currently going through he was feeling hopeful, hopeful that Bones would happy again and maybe, just maybe she could love him again. Booth was grateful that he made the choice to walk through that door and not just observe, but share.

* * *

The next morning Bones jumped and yelped when there was a knock on her door even though she was awake. She didn't sleep the night before. She couldn't sleep, not in this new, strange place. When she checked in she was told that there were no male employees on this floor but she didn't trust these strangers's word. She only trusted Booth and since he wasn't here she couldn't trust anyone so she lay in her bed all night, perfectly still, terrified that a strange man was going to come into her room and rape her. "Temperance, I'm coming in." The nurse said from outside the door. After a minute the door opened and she entered. "Temperance are you awake?" Bones slowly sat up.

"Good morning." She said pleasantly. "Breakfast is in an hour."

"Thank you." She mumbled. As soon as the door to her room shut she pulled herself out of bed and rushed to the bathroom. She was showered and dressed in less than fifteen minutes. There was no lock on the door to her room or to her bathroom and she was so scared that someone was going to come in while she was showering so she washed as quickly as humanly possible so she could return to the safety of her room, well at least it was more safe then the bathroom.

At five minutes until eight, Bones ventured out of her room and began her first official day. At breakfast she sat alone and hardly touched her food. After breakfast she returned to her room and stared at the wall until the nurse came in to get her for group therapy during which time she again just stared at the wall, not contributing. She sat in the room for twenty minutes before she rushed out of there in tears. She couldn't sit there and listen to these other's women's stories about their rapes. It just made her think about hers and she didn't want to think about it. She wanted to forget.

"Temperance, are you okay?" Andrea, Bones' nurse for the day asked.

"Yes. I'm fine." She sniffed, wiping her tears. "Thank you for asking."

"Why aren't you in group?"

"Because I can't sit in there and listen to everyone talk about their rapes. It's just …I don't like hearing it."

"An important part of your therapy is group therapy."

"I don't even want to be here."

"Temperance I can understand…"

"Can you Andrea? Have you ever been raped?"

"Yes I have." Andrea admitted softly.

"I'm…I…I have a headache and I'm going to lie down." With tears streaming down her face because of her insensitivity Bones quickly walked to her room. She curled up in the fetal position and cried.

Andrea attempted to get her out of her room for lunch but she refused to leave. She wouldn't have eaten anyway because she wasn't hungry so she refused to leave her room. A couple of hours later Andrea returned to her room to remind her of her one on one therapy session with her new therapist and again, she refused to leave her room because she had no intention of opening up again, to another therapist.

"Temperance, you have a visitor." Bones sat up, rubbed her eyes, looked at her watch and saw that is was four o'clock in the afternoon.

"Booth." She whispered jumping out of bed and raced to the visitor's room.

She burst through the door of the visitor's room and scanned the tables for his face but she didn't see him. From the corner of her eye she saw someone stand up. Hoping that she somehow missed seeing him she turned and disappointment flowed through her when she saw Angela. She loved her friend but she just really wanted Booth. He was the one who could get her out of here. "Sweetie." Angela squealed, rushing over to her friend, arms wide open. Reluctantly Bones stepped into her arms and they shared a hug. "I've missed you so much." Angela gushed, through her tears. When Bones didn't respond Angela pulled back to look at her friend and she didn't miss the disappointed look on her face. "You don't look happy to see me."

"I'm sorry Ange. I was just expecting Booth. I am glad to see you." Angela took her hand and led her to the table.

"Don't worry Bren. Booth will be here. He was interrogating a suspect, trying to wrap up his current case, when I left." Angela watched as relief replaced the disappointment on her face. "So how are you sweetie?"

"I'm fine."

"You're lying." Angela accused.

"I'd rather not talk about it." Angela decided not to push the issue.

"Is there anything that you need?"

"No. Thank you for packing my suitcase. I don't think that I would be very comfortable with Booth going through my personal items."

"He felt the same way. That's why he asked me to pack for you."

During the next thirty minutes Angela brought Bones up to date on the current case they were working on. Besides Booth, the case seemed to be the only thing that she wanted to talk about. Angela tried to get her to talk about other things, like her recovery for instance but she refused.

"Please, sweetie, give this place a chance to help you." Angela said as she was getting ready to leave. "I hate seeing you so unhappy. I want to see you smile again. I want to hear your laugh again. I want my best friend back."

"I want that too Angela but I don't know if I can be that woman again. I'm just so broken and probability of fixing what is broken is very unlikely."

"Oh Bren I love you so much." Angela hugged her tightly.

"I love you too Ange."

After Angela left Bones considered returning to her room until Booth came but she decided to observe the other guests and their visitors while she waited. She recognized most of the woman from the group therapy session. During the session these woman were sad and crying and right now they weren't sad. In fact, most of them were smiling and they actually seemed happy. They seemed to have the wonderful ability to compartmentalize their feelings.

"Bones." Hearing his voice she jumped to her feet, turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck. He immediately reciprocated her hug by wrapping his arms around her as well.

"I…I…didn't think you were coming." She mumbled into his neck. He pulled her away from him so he could look into her blue eyes.

"I promised you that I would come didn't I?" She nodded. "And have I ever broken a promise that I have made to you."

"No."

"No I haven't and I have no intention of starting now." He guided her back to the table. "Come on. Let's sit." She allowed him to pull out her chair and push it in and then he sat across from her. "So how was your first day?"

"Fine."

"How did you sleep last night?" He could tell that she hadn't slept a bit.

"Fine."

"How was your group therapy and your one on one therapy session?" He knew what her daily schedule was.

"Fine." He knew damn well she didn't get to her one on one session and bolted after about twenty minutes and spent the rest of the day in her room. Her nurse updated him when he got there.

"Bones." He began gently. "You and I have never lied to each other so why are you starting now?" He watched as tears fell from her eyes but she didn't respond. "I can see the dark circles under your eyes so I know that you didn't sleep much if you slept at all. Want to tell me how you really slept last night?" She wanted to lie and tell him everything was fine but as she looked into his warm brown eyes she couldn't do it.

"I didn't sleep."

"Well?"

"At all." She admitted. "I was afraid that someone would come in my room while I was sleeping and r…attack me." She still sometimes had problems saying the word rape.

"I can understand that. Why did you leave your group therapy early?"

"I couldn't sit there and listen to those other women's stories. My attack is always forefront in my mind so I don't need anyone else's horror stories in my mind."

"Well why didn't you go to your one on one therapy session? You wouldn't have heard anyone else's stories."

"Dammit Booth. Can't you drop this?"

"I can't sweetheart. I need to know what is going on with you."

"I have already told Olivia what had happened to me and I don't want to relive it again. I just want to forget it but you won't let me." Her voice was getting louder.

"Calm down Bones. Take a deep breath." She did as he asked. "Bones, you can't forget what happened to you. You have tried and it hasn't worked for you. You continue to have nightmares; you're scared to sleep and to be alone. Can't you see that it's not healthy to continue to live like this?" He felt tears filling his eyes.

"I...I…don't know." She whispered. "I don't know who I am anymore and I hate it."

"Temperance, you are a strong woman. Hell, you are the strongest woman that I have ever met. You are my best friend and I am yours and I think that I know you better than anyone has ever known you."

"You do."

"I know that this rape makes you feel like you are no longer that strong woman and your strength, emotionally and physically is a big part of who you are."

"I had to be strong Booth. Most of my foster homes were abusive so I had to become strong so I could survive." Booth's tears began to fall and he wanted to vomit.

"And I believe that it's because of your strength that you survived that hell that you went through. A weak woman wouldn't have made it through two days of the rape and torture let alone the two weeks that you did."

"Now…now…I feel…I don't feel strong." Bones was crying softly. Booth stood, took her hand and led her over to a recently vacated couch so he could hold her in his arms.

"I know that you don't feel strong right now Bones but you are and it's that Temperance Brennan strength that will get you through this."

"I'm so lost." She cried into his chest.

"I know you are but you can find your way back."

"How?"

"By going through this program, participating in the therapy sessions. I'm not going to lie and tell you that it is going to be easy cause it's not. It's going to be hard as hell but if anyone can get through it you can sweetheart."

"Why do you believe in me so much?"

"Because I love you." He admitted and then immediately regretted it when she saw her flinch. "I'm sorry Bones. I shouldn't have said that."

"I'm sorry that I can't reciprocate those feelings right now."

"Don't be. I understand." He gently wiped her tears away with his thumb. "Look Bones, I don't have a lot of time so I need to say this. You need to give therapy a chance. You're not going to have to relive the rapes. Olivia gave her therapy notes and the tapes of your session to Lilly. Her job is to help you get through them and once you do then you can come home and continue working with Olivia. Can you do that Bones?"

"I can try."

"That's all I'm asking. Now what about the group therapy? Can you give that a try?"

"I don't understand how sitting in a room, listening to a bunch of women talk about their rapes could possibly be helpful."

"You would be surprised how helpful it could be listening to people who have been through what you have been through. They can support you in a way that no one else can, not even me, because they knew exactly how you feel. I joined a support group full of people that were going through what I am going through and it has really helped me." Suddenly he saw fury in her blue eyes.

"What do you mean what you are going through? What the hell are you going through Booth? Were you raped?" He knew that it was pointless right now to explain what he had been going through.

"I gotta go Bones." As he always did he kissed her head and then pulled away from her.

"Booth don't go. I'm sorry. I didn't mean…I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Visiting hours are over. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…I didn't mean anything by it. Please don't go." She reached out and grabbed his hand.

"Bones I'm not leaving because of what you said. I'm leaving because visiting hours are over." She gripped his hand tighter. "Really Bones everything is fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Promise?" Her chin was shaking because she was trying not to cry.

"Of course I promise. Can you promise me something?"

"I can try."

"That's good enough. Can you try to go to both of your therapy sessions, group and one on one?"

"I'll give it a try."

"That's all I want, is for you to try." He pried her fingers away from his and kissed her head again. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodbye Seeley. Thank you for coming." Booth flashed her a smile and then disappeared out the door.

After dinner that night, which Bones managed to eat at least half of her dinner, she found Andrea and requested a meeting with Lilly. Booth's faith in her, faith that she was strong enough to deal with her rape gave her the faith in herself that she needed to get started. She wanted to get better. She wanted to smile and laugh again. She wanted to be able to sleep through the night without nightmares. She wanted to be comfortable in the presence of a man besides Booth. When it came down to it, she just wanted to be happy again.

"Temperance, I am so glad that you requested this meeting." Lilly said.

"Thank you for seeing me. I apologize for missing our last appointment."

"Why did you miss your last, our first session?"

"I didn't think I was ready."

"And now you think that you are ready?"

"I do."

"What changed between this afternoon and now?"

"My friend, my best friend came to see me."

"Seeley right?"

"Yes Seeley Booth but I call him Booth. He told me that he had faith in me that I was strong enough to get better. He believes in me and…no one has ever believed in me like that before. I don't want to let him down."

"You'll never get better if you are doing it for someone else." Lilly told her.

"I do want to get better for Booth but more importantly I want to get better for me. I'm tired of feeling this way Lilly. I know that things will never be the same for me but I can get close to where I was before. I'm tired of living in fear. I want to be normal again. Can you help me find Temperance Brennan? I've lost her and I want her back." She had tears rolling down her cheeks. Lilly handed her a box of tissues.

"It's going to be a lot of hard work." Lilly warned.

"I'm not afraid of hard work. I never have been. It's because of hard work that I am the top ranking forensic anthropologist in the country, probably the world."

"Okay then let's get started. You look tired. How did you sleep last night?"

"I didn't. I was up all night waiting for someone to walk into my room and rape me."

* * *

"Thank you Lilly. Thank you for everything." Bones said as she embraced her therapist.

"You did the work Temperance. I just helped you. Now make sure you continue seeing Olivia. You have come really far but you still have a ways to go."

"I will."

"Bones are you ready to go home?"

"There is just one more person that I need to say goodbye to. Just wait here." Booth nodded and watched as Bones walked away.

Bones found her target a few minutes later. "Andrea, may I have a minute of your time?"

"Of course Temperance. I thought you had been discharged."

"I have but I needed to apologize to you. When I first came here I was confused and angry. I accused you of not knowing what I was feeling but you did. I'm so sorry for being so cruel and bringing up what I am sure is a painful memory for you."

"I understand Temperance. There is no need to apologize. I chose to work here because I could empathize with the patients and maybe show them that there is hope after rape."

"You have showed me that. Thank you for all of your support."

"Good luck Temperance." Andrea pulled Temperance in for a hug.

"Goodbye Andrea."

Walking outside for the first time in six weeks Bones breathed in the fresh, cold air. She couldn't believe how much the weather had changed since she came here. Six weeks ago the summer was ending and it was still warm and the leaves on the trees were green. Now there was a chill in the air and the leaves have begun to change colors. Booth opened the passenger door of the SUV for her and once she was in he closed her in. He placed her suitcase in the backseat and climbed in himself. Before starting the truck he looked over at Bones and smiled. She looked so much better, even daresay happy.

"Are you hungry? Do you want to stop for something to eat or if not I could take you to the lab? I know everyone at the lab wants to see you." Booth asked her softly.

"I would like to see everyone at the lab but…"

"Okay Bones, no problem. I'll take you to the lab."

"Hold your ponies Booth."

"Horses Bones. Its hold your horses." Booth said with a grin.

"That's not important. I really do want to go to the lab but I want to go home more. I want to go home and relax with some good food because let me tell you the food at the hospital wasn't very appetizing."

"Okay. Do you want me to order some take out for you from the diner?"

"No. I would like for you to order take out for both of us. Would you please stay and hang in with me for a few hours?"

"I would love to stay and hang out with you Bones." With a smile Booth picked up his cell phone and called the diner to order them their dinner.

* * *

Grabbing her suitcase and their food Booth followed Bones up to her apartment. He couldn't wait for her to see the surprise that was inside for her. He anxiously stood behind her as she inserted the keys into the numerous locks that were now present on her door since her rape, opened the door and stepped inside her apartment. Her eyes traveled to the wall where there was a banner hanging up that read "Welcome Home Bones." written in child's handwriting. She knew right away that Parker made it for her. "Oh Booth." She whispered as tears filled her eyes. This simple sign touched her more than ever thought possible. Booth set down her suitcase and food and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"This was Parker's idea. We came over to air out the apartment and clean it up the other day and he wanted to do something else, something more personal then dusting and he came up with this." Bones turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck. He felt tears hitting his shirt.

"Come on, let's eat." Bones said pulling away from Booth.

Over they next few hours the two friends enjoyed a leisurely dinner in her living room in front of the television that she had purchased when Booth began staying with her at night. At one point they both dozed off, Booth with his head on the back of the couch, mouth hanging open and snoring quietly while Bones' head was on his shoulder. When Booth turned his body Bones' head fell off of his shoulder and onto his stomach. Startled, they both jumped up and then began to laugh and it quickly got out of control. They were laughing so hard that tears were rolling down their faces and they were holding their stomachs. Suddenly Booth stopped and looked at Bones, wearing a soft smile.

"What?" She asked.

"It's good to see you laugh and smile." He told her. She shyly turned her head away from him. Booth stood up and stretched his arms. "It's getting late and I should go. I've got to pick up Parker in the morning."

"I would like very much to see him. Would you two like to come over for breakfast?"

"Sure Bones. Parker would really like that. I can stop at the diner and bring breakfast."

"No. I'll cook if that's okay with you."

"It's more than okay Bones." She smiled with excitement.

"Well then I'll walk you to the door." Grabbing his hand they slowly walked to the door. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Night Bones. I'm glad that you are home." He took a step towards her and wrapped her in a tight hug.

"Thanks you Booth."

"For what?" He pulled away from her thoroughly confused.

"For your never ending support. I wouldn't have made it through without your support."

"It's what friends do for friends. Always support them."

"Well regardless of why you did it, thank you." Booth watched her as she slowly leaned towards him closing her eyes. His heart began to pound in anticipation of what was going to happen. His eyes slowly closed and he waited for what was about to happen.


	10. Chapter 10

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

"_Well regardless of why you did it, thank you." Booth watched her as she slowly leaned towards him closing her eyes. His heart began to pound in anticipation of what was going to happen. His eyes slowly closed and he waited for what was about to happen. _

The second that Bones pressed her soft, supple lips to Booth's she was no longer kissing the one and only man she truly loved. It wasn't his lips that she was feeling slowly moving against hers. The only thing that she could think about and feel was the harsh, sometimes painful, kisses that she experienced during her kidnapping. Placing her hands on his well muscled chest she pushed herself away from him and dropped to the floor.

"Bones…" By the time he opened his eyes he saw her on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest, rocking.

"Don't come near me." She wasn't yelling. There was an eerie calmness to her. "Please, I need a minute…I just need a minute."

"Whatever you want Bones." He replied softly. Feeling helpless he stood against the door and watched her. Even with her eyes closed eyes he could see a determined look of concentration on her face, a look he saw over the years that they worked together. It was always the look she wore when she was examining her bones, searching for a cause of death.

After a few minutes Bones took a deep breath, opened her eyes, wiped away the few remaining tears that managed to escape from her closed eyelids and pulled herself to her feet, still shaking slightly. Booth wanted to rush over to her and comfort her but he resisted. Instead he just asked, "Are you okay?"

"That's a loaded question Booth. Right now, I'm acceptable but I don't think that I will ever be okay again." She told him sadly.

"Think positive Bones. Look how far you have come already."

"I'm so sorry. I want to kiss you. I want to be kissed by you but I just can't."

"You have nothing to apologize for Bones. I understand."

"At least one of us does." She muttered. He wanted, so badly to reach out and hug her but he was afraid that it would freak her out. He placed his hands in his pockets to help keep him in place.

"Okay Bones, I should probably go. If you need anything, no matter what time call me. If necessary I can be here within minutes."

"Thank you Booth but I should be fine."

"Nine in the morning, here for breakfast?" He asked quietly.

"As long as you have Parker with you."

"Parker will be here." Bones smiled softly. "Goodnight Bones." He whispered softly as he turned towards the door. When he placed his hand on the doorknob he heard her voice.

"Booth, I'm scared." She was asking for a hug. He quickly turned, took two large steps and pulled her into his arms in a tight hug and it most definitely was not a guy hug. He relished in the feeling of her in his arms again as her scent filled her nostrils. "Please stay." She whispered in his ear.

"Of course." She pulled out of his warm, safe embrace.

"I was fine and I would have been fine but I made a mistake and tried to kiss you." She saw a brief look of hurt that flashed through his eyes. "Booth…"

"You don't have to explain Bones." He walked past her and made himself comfortable on her couch. She followed and sat across from him on the coffee table. She reached out and took his hands in her own.

"I need to explain it Booth. I don't mean to hurt you. It's me, not you. I know that statement is cliché but it's the truth Booth. As soon as I touched my lips to yours I was back there again, in that room with them. I think that if we or I wouldn't have kissed you I would have been fine but those memories, they are right there and I'm afraid of being alone tonight." She wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "I'm afraid that my nightmares will come back and I don't want to be alone when they do."

"That's understandable. If those nightmares return you can find me right here on the couch."

"Thank you Booth." Standing up she squeezed his hand once more before walking away and into her bedroom, closing the door softly behind her.

Once he was alone, he grabbed a beer and made himself comfortable on the couch by stretching his fun colored socks out onto the coffee table that was in front of him. He grabbed the remote and switched the television to ESPN and sat back to catch up on all of the sports highlights.

An hour later, his beer bottle sat empty on the coffee table and he was just beginning to doze off for the night when his sniper training kicked in when he heard her bedroom door open. He listened as she padded barefoot over to the couch. When he sensed that she was standing beside the couch he opened his eyes and his brown eyes met her blue ones. Without a word being spoken, he lifted his arm onto the back of couch and Bones sat on the couch, sidling her body up next to his while tucking her deliciously long legs under her. Booth pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and covered her up. She snuggled against his chest while he wrapped his arm that was on the back of the couch around her waist. A minute after he closed his eyes Bones linked her hand with his and they both feel into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

"I'm hungry dad." Parker complained as soon as his dad slipped into the driver's side of the SUV.

"So am I."

"Can we go to the diner?"

"No. I have a better plan."

"What's better than the diner?"

"Breakfast at Bones." Booth glanced at his son and saw his face light up with delight. Like his father, Parker loved spending time with Bones.

"Awesome. Are we going to hang out with her all day?"

"I'm not sure bub. I haven't thought that far ahead."

"I will talk to Bones and ask her. She never says no to me." Parker said confidently and Booth just laughed.

"You can give it a try." Who was he to stand in the way of his son's dreams?

"Dad is Bones feeling better?"

"If she wasn't, they wouldn't have let her out of the hospital." He answered without really answering him.

"Is she still sad?"

"Sometimes she is."

"Something really, really bad happened to her huh?"

"Yes son. Something really, really bad happened to her."

"Did someone try to kill her?" He asked quietly.

"Let's put it this way bub, some very bad men kidnapped her and did some very bad things to her until I could get to her."

"Did you kill them?" Parker knew that in some cases his dad had to kill bad men and women.

"They were punished." Booth answered. He wasn't ready to admit, out loud to Parker that he killed those bastards.

"I hope that their punishment is really bad. No one should ever do bad things to anyone, especially Bones."

Fifteen minutes later Parker was knocking on the door to Bones' apartment while jumping around impatiently. "Booones." He whined, knocking again.

"Parks, will you please relax?" Bones then opened the door and Parker hurtled himself at her, almost knocking her on the ground. Bones sank down to her knees and clung to Parker.

"I've really missed you Bones." Parker mumbled into her neck.

"I've missed you too Parker." After a few minutes Bones pulled herself away from Parker and stood. "Thank you so much for the beautiful sign that you made for me."

"You're welcome. I'm glad that you liked it. I worked really hard on it."

"I could tell." She discreetly lifted her hand to her face and wiped away a few stray tears. "So are you boys hungry?"

"I'm starving. What did you make?"

"Parker Joseph Booth! That was really rude." Booth exclaimed.

"I'm sorry for being rude." Parker mumbled.

"It's okay." Bones said with a smile. She took his hand and led him to the kitchen, with Booth following behind them, listening as Bones listed off all of the items she had made them for breakfast.

Booth and Parker sat down at the table and Bones immediately began to wait on them. "Parker would you like orange juice or milk?"

"Milk please Bones." Parker and Booth loved milk.

"Bones you don't have to wait on us." Booth told her as she poured his glass of milk.

"I don't mind." He knew it would be pointless to argue with her.

"Well then Parker and I will do the cleanup."

"That's acceptable." Bones said with a smile as she scooped heaping portions of scrambled eggs onto their plates. Placing the plate of eggs down she replaced it with the plate of crispy bacon. Parker couldn't even wait for it to be served to him. He reached out and grabbed a handful of bacon.

"Yumm. Bacon, my favorite." He commented.

Bones grabbed the toast and waffles from the counter and placed them on the table. "Do you guys need anything?"

"Yeah Bones. We need you to sit down and join us so you can enjoy this delicious meal that you prepared."

"Are you sure you guys are okay?"

"Sit Bones."

"Please sit next to me." Parker requested and she could not say no to him so even though she still really had no appetite she sat down next to Parker. After a watching Bones just sip some orange juice, Booth finally scooped a small amount of eggs onto her plate which she finally ate. She had always been a thin woman but now, since her kidnapping, she had lost so much weight and to Booth's untrained she just didn't look healthy.

After breakfast, as planned Booth and Parker cleaned up the amazing meal that Bones had made for them while she sat a the table, drinking her coffee, conversing with Parker, who never ran out of things to say. "Are you busy today Bones?" Parker asked her.

"I haven't made any plans. I thought that maybe I would go and visit Angela."

"Can you do that tomorrow?"

"Parker that was rude." Booth stated.

"I don't mean to be rude. I just really, really want Bones to hang out with us today."

"What are you and your dad doing today?" She asked, curiosity peaked.

"Does that mean that you want to hang out with us?"

"If your dad doesn't mind then I would like that." She didn't want to be alone and as much as she enjoyed Angela's company she enjoyed spending time with Parker and Booth. Parker's innocence, his smile and infectious laugh made her temporarily forget what happened to her and he helped remind her that the world is not all bad, that there is still some good to be found, mainly in Parker and Seeley Booth.

"Come on Bones, you know I don't mind." Booth told her with a smile.

"Me and daddy are going fishing. Have you ever been fishing?"

"No Parker, I don't believe that I have."

"WHAT?" How could you have never been fishing? It is like the coolest thing ever."

"I don't know Parker. My father never took me so maybe he didn't like fishing. We never talked about it."

"Trust me Bones, it is awesome. Daddy borrows a boat from one of his friends and we spend the entire day out on the lake. On our way to the lake we stop at the deli on K Street and get the world's best sub sandwiches?"

"How do you know that they are the world's best sub sandwiches?" She asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"Daddy told me and daddy never lies to me."

"Well then I guess that they must be the world's best. I can't wait to try them."

"So we stay out on lake all day fishing, singing with the radio and talking. When we get hot we jump in the lake and swim so you have to wear your bathing suit Bones." A look of worry crossed Parker's young face. "Do you even have a bathing suit?"

"Yes Parker, I have a bathing suit. I do have a swimming pool in this building. Swimming is one of my favorite activities. I find that it helps me relax after a stressful day."

"This is going to be so much fun. When can we go daddy?"

"Anytime."

"I guess that I should go change then."

"Hey bub, can you run out to the car and grab our swim trunks?"

"Yeah. Can I have the keys?"

"Nope because I am afraid that you will drive off in my car. I'll unlock it from the balcony where I can watch you. Now scoot." Parker shot to his feet and ran out the door. Laughing, Booth walked out onto the balcony and unlocked his SUV.

"Booth, I hope that it's okay that I come with you during your visit with Parker. I know how rare and precious your time together with Parker is and I don't want to intrude so if you don't want me to come fishing with you and Parker I understand. Just tell me and I'll make an excuse to tell Parker." Booth said softly.

"Oh Bones." Booth mumbled. As soon as he saw Parker shut the door he relocked his SUV and then turned around to face Bones. "Sweetheart you are a part of my family. Hell, my family consists of me, you and Parker and we both want you to spend the day with us. Parker absolutely adores you and I know that if it was up to him he would much rather spend our weekends together with you instead of me. Trust me, this family; spending the day together is what is right. Okay?" Looking deeply into his eyes she nodded. "Good. Now go put on your suit."

"Thank you for making me a part of your family."

"No need to thank me Bones. It's the natural order of the things."

"Technically it's not. The natural order of things occurs in…" Booth placed his pointer finger over her lips.

"No squinty talk. There is a lake full of fish that won't catch themselves. Now go change."

"Whatever you say Agent Booth." With a small laugh Bones came in from the balcony and headed to her room to change into her bathing suit.

* * *

As Booth drove down the road he glanced into his rearview mirror and smiled when he saw his boy sleeping soundly in the back seat. He glanced at the seat beside him and his smile widened when he saw his Bones sleeping peacefully. They all had so much fun out on the lake and the sun wore out all of them.

For someone who had never been fishing before Bones fished liked a pro. Like everything she does, she took on a challenge, faced it head on and succeeded. She caught more fish then both Booth and Parker put together. To Booth, it seemed like every time she cast her line into the water she had a fish hooked within minutes which accounted for the lack of fish that Booth caught because he spent most of the time taking her fish off of the hook, something that she wouldn't do herself. When they got hot, they all jumped into the lake to cool down and had fun playing in the water like kids. Bones acknowledged that the subs were delicious but she wouldn't concede that they were the best in the world, no matter how much Parker and Booth haggled her.

The only downer to the perfect day happened soon after they arrived but Bones recovered quickly and was able to continue with the days festivities. When they all got too hot and decided that it was time to cool off they all had to lather up with sun screen. Up until that point the boys had kept on their shirts and Bones had a tank top over her bathing suit and they all had applied sunscreen to the parts of the body that was exposed to the sun so now they had to lather up their newly exposed body parts.

They set up a chain to lather up. Booth applied the sunscreen to Parker's back while Bones applied the sunscreen to Booth's back. As her soft hands caressed his back he went through every possible hockey stat that he could think of because just having her hands on his body, his bare skin, was really turning him on. After Booth and Parker were adequately blocked up Bones tried unsuccessfully to apply the sunscreen to her own back so Booth offered his assistance.

When his hands first touched her back he felt her body stiffen and he heard her breath hitch so he began to talk to her, hoping to keep her mind with him and Parker on the lake and away from her kidnapping. His plan seemed to be working well until his traveled to her hips to block her. He heard her whisper, "Please, no." His heart broke for her but he put it aside and whispered in her ear, reminding her of who he was, where she was and that she was safe but she didn't relax. She visibly grew more and more agitated so he quickly dropped his hands and went and stood in front of her. After a few minutes she came back around to him and apologized and he assured her that everything was fine. Booth knew that she needed a few minutes alone to compose herself so he left her alone and he and Parker jumped into the lake. A few minutes later, a smiling, happy Bones jumped into the lake with the boys to play and frolic with them, having more fun than she had experienced in a very long time.

"Ice cream." Bones mumbled sleepily from the seat next to Booth.

"Hey sleepy head. Did you have a nice nap?" Booth asked with a grin.

"Yahhh." She answered while yawning and stretching. "I promised Parker that I would talk you into stopping for ice cream." They both suddenly heard a snore coming from the back seat.

"I don't think that we will be able to wake him up."

"Not even for ice cream?"

"No even for ice cream."

"But when he finally does wake up he will be angry that I didn't keep my promise to him." Booth thought it was adorable that his tough Bones was worried that Parker would be angry at her.

"How about we compromise?"

"I'm listening."

"I'll stop at the store and pick up Parker's favorite ice cream and toppings and when he finally wakes up, he'll have ice cream."

"That is an acceptable compromise." She said with a smile.

Booth placed his sleeping son on Bones' couch, grabbed the same blanket that he used the night before to cover up Bones, and he covered up his boy. Parker sighed in his sleep and rolled over. After planting a kiss on Parker's head Booth ventured into the kitchen where Bones was putting away the ice cream. "Parker is crashed out on the couch." He told her.

"He had a very fun filled day, as I did." Bones shut the freezer door and turned to Booth. "Would you like some coffee?"

"Yeah sure Bones. That would be nice." Bones began to make the coffee while Booth pulled out the cups out of the cupboard and found the cream and sugar and placed them all on the table. Not having anything else to do he sat on the table and Bones stood in front of the coffee, watching it brew. Booth sensed that she was feeling uncomfortable and he didn't understand why. "Are you okay Bones?" Booth asked after a few minutes of silence.

"I'm fine." She joined him at the table and poured them both some coffee, with a shaking hand he noticed. "Booth I want to thank you so much for today and for staying with me last night. "

"How many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to thank me for doing what friends do for their friends?"

"I haven't been completely honest with you and for that I need to apologize."

"Bones you don't…" She held up her hand in front of him so he would stop talking.

"Please, Booth. Stop saying that I don't have to apologize. I have to. You deserve that much." He nodded. "After you saved me, like you always do, I told you that I didn't feel the same way about you that I did when I left, that I only loved you as a friend."

"I remember." He told her softly.

"It's not true Booth. I love you more than a friend. I love you so much. I have never felt for anyone like I feel for you." Tears fell from her blue eyes. "I...I lied to you because I wanted you to move on with your life. I wanted you to find someone that can love you like you deserved to be loved." Booth reached out, unclenched her fingers from around her coffee cup and linked them with his.

"I have found that someone Bones. I found you."

"I'm not the same woman I was before my trip."

"I realize that."

"If I was the same woman I could easily love you like you should be loved but I'm not her anymore. I'm not sure how to explain this but I am able to love you from my heart, from afar and that's the only way. I want so much to love you like I did before I left, I want to kiss you, make love to you but I can't. When I kissed you last night all I wanted was to kiss you but my mind let me down and took me back."

"You need more time Bones. You are pushing yourself too much."

"I've had almost six god damn months Booth." She snapped in frustration.

"Healing isn't easy and it's not always quick."

"I know."

"I'm going to wait as long as necessary. I'll be here when you're ready." Fighting back the sobs, Bones released his hand and returned to the coffee pot, although her cup was still full.

"I have been unfair to you Booth." She whispered facing away from him.

"How the hell have you been unfair to me?"

"I've been using you. I ask for hugs, I ask for you stay the night, sleep in the same bed as I do, hold me when I get scared and I give you nothing in return. Hell, I can't even kiss you and it's not fair to you. I feel like I am leading you on then shooting you down when you get too close."

"I'm okay with staying here with you at night to help you through whatever you need."

"Dammit you shouldn't be." She threw her cup into the sink and it broke into five large pieces. "Dammit." She whispered tearfully and Booth jumped to his feet.

"Let me help you."

"NO!" She almost shouted. "Please, just let it be."

"Okay." She heard him walk away so she reached out and took his hand so they were facing each other.

"I am going to promise you something." He waited for her to continue. "I want to be able to show you how much I love you. I want to kiss you and maybe one day, make love again so this is my promise to you. "I'm going to work as hard as I can to become the woman that I once was so I can love you like you deserve."

"Bones I am so glad that you want to work hard so you can return to who you used to be but you can't do that for me. If you don't do it for yourself then you will never get well."

"I worded that wrong. I want to get well for myself so I can finally be happy again and I know that I can be happy loving you and having you love me back." She suddenly looked very vulnerable. "Booth...never mind."

"What is it?"

"Will you...do you still love me even though you know what happened to me?" She whispered. She looked so lost and broken that it broke his heart.

"Yes Bones. I still love you."

"But I have had STD's. I've been violated. I've had men..."

"Stop Bones. Everything that happened is not your fault. You didn't ask for any of that horrible shit to happen to you. In fact, it does change the way I feel about you. I love you more because it has shown me how strong you are."

"But aren't you disgusted by what happened to me? How could you possibly want to be with, make love to me after what I let those men do to me?"

"Oh my God, sweetheart. You did not let those bastards do anything to you. They hurt and violated you. They raped you Bones and rape does not mean allow. It means that they took something from you with force. I am not and never will be disgusted with you. Can you believe me?" She looked deeply into his eyes and she believed him.

"I do." She took a step to him and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, burying her face in the crook of his shoulder. "I love you Booth."

"I love you too Bones."

"I thought that we were getting ice cream." Parker's voice rang through the kitchen and Booth and Bones pulled apart laughing.

"I told you." Bones said with a smile.

"You were out like a light bub so I stopped at the store and picked up everything that we need for sundaes."

"Yipee."

After they all engorged in huge sundaes they all went and took showers. Thankfully Parker's overnight bag was in Booth's SUV so he was able to change into his pajamas and when Booth put on his swim trunks he left his boxers off so he had almost clean underwear to put back on after his shower. Once the smell of the lake was gone, Booth parked himself on the couch in front of the T.V. while Bones and Parker engaged in a game of Monopoly. Once Parker pretty much wiped Bones out of all her money, they decided to call the game with Parker named as the winner.

"You're not very good at Monopoly." Parker commented as they cleaned up the game.

"Yes I realize that." Bones said with a smile. "I'm going to have to study and practice so I can at least keep up with you when we play again."

"Bones it's a game. You can't study for a game."

"If I can't study how will I improve?"

"By playing more and learning some strategies of the game. Daddy and I have been playing for as long as I remember. It's kinda of a tradition when I spend the weekends with him and that's how I got so good." He said proudly.

"Thank you Parker, for letting me join your tradition."

"Dad told me that you are a part of our family and he also says that tradition is something that you share with your family."

"It sure is Parker."

"So, do you want some pointers for the next game we play?" He asked with a sparkle of mischief in his eyes, that Bones has seen plenty of time over the years.

"Yes please."

"Okay Bones, your first mistake was buying every single property that you landed on." Parker launched into a list that of things that she did wrong during the game and he gave her some of his strategies that worked well for him. He was still talking when they returned to the living room to find Booth snoring on the couch. "Dad I just creamed Bones in Monopoly.

"Back to bed." Booth mumbled. "Too early."

"Dad, we aren't home. We are at Bones' house." Parker told his dad as he shook him. Booth just groaned and resumed snoring. "When dad is really tired it's really hard to wake him up. Usually I have to dump some water on his head. Can I dump some water on his head Bones? It's really funny. He always wakes up yelling."

"It's been a really long day Parker and you and I got to take a nap on the way home and your dad didn't so maybe we just should let him sleep."

"He won't wake up until morning."

"Well then you and your dad can stay the night."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"This is going to be so cool." His voice was thick with excitement. "Where will I sleep? Dad is hogging the whole couch."

"I have a guest room that your dad has slept in when he has stayed the night before. I even put a television in there for your dad."

"Can I watch it before I go to sleep?"

"Absolutely.

"Awesome." Bones glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost 10:00.

"Are you getting tired? It's almost 10." She wasn't sure what time Parker normally went to bed.

"I'm not really too tired but if I watch some TV I will get tired."

"That sounds like a plan. Why don't you go brush your teeth and I'll get your room ready."

"Okey dokey." Parker said as he scurried off.

Ten minutes later Parker was all tucked into the queen sized bed with a glass of water on the nightstand next to the bed and the remote in his hand. "Do you have everything that you need?" Bones asked him anxiously.

"I'm fine Bones. Will you stay and watch TV with me until I fall asleep?"

"Of course I will." Parker scooted over and made room in the bed for her. As soon as she was settled Parker snuggled up next to her and laid his head on her chest. Bones automatically wrapped her arm around his body and held him tightly. They silently watched the television together and just when Bones thought Parker was asleep he spoke.

"Is dad your boyfriend?" He asked softly.

"Well…uhh…no Parker. Your dad is not my boyfriend."

"Do you want my dad to be your boyfriend? I know that he wants you to be his girlfriend."

"How do you know that?"

"I just do."

"You do huh?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"That is a very hard question to answer Parker."

"No it's not. It's easy. All you have to do is say yes or no."

"Parker…"

"Yes or no?"

"You are just like your father." Parker grinned proudly but continued to stare at her, waiting for an answer to his question. "Yes Parker, I want your daddy to be my boyfriend."

"Finally. You need to tell him and then you guys can be boyfriend and girlfriend."

"He knows Parker."

"He does?" Bones nodded.

"Hopefully, one day your dad and I can be boyfriend and girlfriend but before that can happen there are some things that I have to fix."

"What kind of things? I'm good at fixing stuff. I help my dad all of the time."

"It's not that kind of stuff. It's personal stuff and I'm the only one who can fix it."

"I hope that you fix it soon so you and dad can be boyfriend and girlfriend and then you both will be really happy."

"I hope so Parker." Bones whispered as she kissed the top of his head. Parker figured that was the end of the conversation and the two of them drifted off to sleep a few minutes later.

* * *

"Bones." Booth whispered. He didn't want to take a chance in frightening her so he didn't dare shake her awake and resorted to whispering her name. Five minutes after he began to wake her he saw her eyes flutter open.

"Booth?" She asked sleepily.

"Yeah sweetheart, it's me. Come on to bed." Taking her hand he helped her out of bed.

"You were sleeping, Parker was tired so I decided not to wake you and I put him to bed for the night. I hope that it was okay." Bones explained as Booth led her to her room.

"It's fine. I'm sorry that I conked out."

"It's understandable. You were tired." They arrived in her room and Booth turned the bed down and ushered her in it.

"And so are you." He tucked the blankets in around her. "Sleep tight Bones." Leaning over, he kissed her head. "I love you."

"Please stay with me." She requested. With a smile, Booth grabbed the blanket from the foot of the bed and he settled on top of the covers next to the woman he loved. Bones immediately rolled over, placed her head on his chest and arm across her abdomen. Booth reacted by joining their hands together and wrapping an arm around her, holding her tightly. "I'm going to get better so we can be an us." She assured him.

"I have to doubt that you will."

"I love you Booth."

**Sorry for the posting delay. If you are still reading and want to review, it would be appreciated. **


	11. Chapter 11

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

"I don't know if I can do this Booth."

"Yes you can." He encouraged her.

"What if I get scared and freak out? I'll be stuck."

"Then ask him to pull over and I'll be there."

Olivia, Bones' therapist is now having her work through her fears and anxieties so she can move on with her life. Over the past few months, Bones has grown comfortable being alone with men who she is friends with, Booth, Hodgins and her interns but when it came to being alone with a man that she didn't know, a stranger, she would find herself suffering from a panic attack. She still has been unable to get into a cab with a male driver, see a male doctor or even teach her classes if there were male students in attendance and she couldn't continue to live like that, afraid to interact with strangers so Olivia came up with some assignments for her patient to help her work through her fears so she live as a normal, functioning member of the human race again. Her first assignment was tonight and Olivia wanted her to get into a cab, multiple cabs with male drivers and ride throughout town. She was absolutely terrified even though Booth would be following behind her.

"I…I…can't do this Booth." Bones whispered terrified when the cab pulled up.

"Yes you can." She shook her head. "Bones you have to do this. You can't continue to live your life in fear."

"Ya coming or what?" The driver asked and Booth opened the door.

"No. I'm sorry to have wasted your time." Bones told the driver. She turned to walk away but Booth gently grabbed her arm. He wasn't going to let her walk away and as much as he hated to act like a hardass he knew it had to be done to help her get better.

"She's going." Booth told the driver and then he turned to Bones. "You're going." He gently pushed her to the car. "Get in."

"No. I'm not ready."

"Yes you are." He shut the door. "I'll be right behind you."

"Booth." He heard her cry as he walked away.

Where to lady?" The cab driver asked Bones.

"I…I…I don't know."

"If this is some kind of weird sex fantasy thing between you and your boyfriend I don't want any part of it." The driver said.

Bones took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Her hands were shaking, her heart was pounding furiously, she felt as if she was going to hyperventilate and she was sweating. "Just drive."

"I need a destination."

"Straight. Just drive straight." She whispered in a shaking voice.

"Whatever." He mumbled as he pulled the cab out onto the road.

"Fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes." She began to chant to herself. According to Olivia, she only had to stay in the cab for fifteen minutes the first time. Once that was accomplished she could get out, receive reassurance from Booth and then get into another cab for a longer time period. Her chant had changed to ten minutes when the cab jerked forward because the driver had to slam on his breaks to avoid hitting the car that pulled out in front of him.

"Fucking Bitch." The cab driver screamed and Bones lost what little control that she had.

"Stop."

"What?"

"Stop this cab. I need to get out." She was becoming hysterical.

"Look lady, I can't pull over. I'm in the middle of a damn intersection.

"I…have to get out." The light up ahead turned red and the cab had to stop. Seeing an opportunity Bones got out and rushed across three lanes of traffic to the sidewalk.

From his SUV, four cars back Booth saw the cab door open and Bones rushing across the street. Flipping on his siren and blinker he slowly inched his way over to the far right lane. He only used his siren because the drivers in D.C. are rude and they wouldn't have let him over with only his blinker on. After what seemed like forever he finally got over to the side of the road, to his Bones. Not wanting to risk getting hit, he climbed out of the passenger side and rushed over to Bones who was standing in an alley, shaking and sobbing. "Bones, it's me Booth." He told her as he approached.

"Booth?" She questioned.

"Yeah Bones, it's me."

"Oh Booth." In two steps she threw herself into his arms and he held her shaking form.

"Tell me what happened."

"I overreacted but…but I couldn't help it. He yelled…and…and…"

"Hey, I need my money." The cab driver yelled as he walked over to them. "Where are the cops? I see the flashing lights. I want the cops cause this lady tried to skip out on her fair."

"I am the cops. What does she owe you?" Booth said as he glared at the cab driver.

"Twenty two dollars."

"For five minutes? I don't think so." Booth took a ten out of his wallet and handed it to the guy. "Get lost." Grumbling, the cab driver walked away.

"Booth can you take me home? I know that I'm supposed to do this cab exercise but I'm just not up to it tonight." She was still shaking and visibly upset so Booth could not make her complete her assignment.

"Yeah sweetheart. Let's get you home." He led the shaking, scared woman to his SUV, buckled her in and then they drove in silence back to her apartment.

* * *

"Feeling better?" Booth asked when Bones finally reentered the living room after her shower. He knew whatever happened in that cab hit her hard because he heard her sobbing in the shower.

"I'm fine." He watched her go into the kitchen and grab a wine glass. Her hand was shaking so bad that he was surprised that the glass didn't break. He stepped in when she grabbed a bottle of wine.

"This probably isn't the best idea right now." He told her, taking the bottle from her.

"It will help me calm down."

"I've got something better. Let's get you some water." Reaching around her, he opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. "Come on, let's sit." With his free hand he led her to the couch and handed her the water. "I'll be right back. Sit tight." He quickly disappeared into her bathroom and got her one of the Xanax pills that Olivia prescribed to her for anxiety, she hadn't needed the pills in months but he knew, tonight, she needed them. She was really shaken. Within minutes, he returned to the couch and took the empty seat next to Bones. "Here." He dropped the pill in her empty hand.

"What's this?"

"A Xanax."

"I don't need it."

"Yeah Bones, I think you do. Look how badly you're hand is shaking. Take the pill. It will help you feel better."

"Okay." Booth was surprised but grateful that she didn't argue with him.

"Do you wanna tell me what happened?" She shook her head no. "You shouldn't keep stuff bottled up inside. It's not healthy." Bones sighed and laid her head against his chest. "Talk to me sweetheart." He requested as he wrapped an arm around her.

"A car cut the cab off." She was speaking so softly he really had to strain to hear her. "He got so mad and he called the driver a fucking bitch." She began to cry. "That's what they…they kept calling me. Every time that they raped me they called me a fucking bitch. They told me that I deserved it, that I wanted it. Did I deserve it Booth because I can sometimes come off as a bitch?"

"Hell no you didn't deserve to be raped."

"Maybe God is punishing me." She sobbed into his chest.

"You don't believe in God Bones." He reminded her.

"I don't understand Booth. Why did this happen? What did I do?"

"I can't answer that question Bones. There is no logical reason why it happened to you. The only thing I know with absolute certainty is that you did nothing, absolutely nothing to deserve being raped."

"You have to answer that question Booth. There has to be an answer. There is an answer for everything." She was getting more and more upset.

"Shhh Bones. Shhh baby, calm down." He soothed.

"Why Booth? Please tell me why?" She mumbled tearfully.

"I don't know. I wish I had an answer because I know that it would help you but I just don't know." He continued to hold her as her sobs finally subsided.

"I'm sorry that I lost it." She whispered once she had finally calmed down.

"Everybody is entitled to lose it every now and again."

"I want to complete my cab assignment tomorrow. I know that I can do it."

"I've always known that." He kissed the top of her head.

"Are you staying tonight?" She whispered sleepily. He knew that the Xanax was taking effect.

"Are you kicking me out?" Over the past month, Booth had basically moved in with Bones, sleeping the same bed with her, holding her tightly but that's all it was. It never went beyond that. Truth be told, Booth enjoyed holding her every night when he slept.

"Of course not. I'm just making sure. I don't think that I can be alone tonight."

"Bones, you'll never be alone again."

"That's nice to know."

* * *

"I completed your cab assignment." Bones proudly told Olivia at the beginning of her next therapy session.

"Congratulations Temperance. I'm very proud of you. How did it go?" With a self satisfied smile, she relayed the events of her assignment, from the first disastrous attempt to the second successful attempt. She told Olivia of the men that got into the cab with her as passengers and how after she had a panic attack after the first one joined her but after that she handled the remaining male passengers well. She later found out that the passengers that entered her cab were all co-workers of Booth's. Leave it to Booth to push her to the limit but make sure she was safe at the same time. He was always protecting her. "You are making wonderful progress Temperance."

"Yes I know."

"Is Seeley still staying with you at night?" Olivia asked

"Yes he is."

"I think that it's time that you sent him home."

"But…I…why?" Bones stammered.

"We have found that you are starting to be able to function normally by yourself in society again. Now we need to know if you can function alone in your apartment at night."

"Booth, he doesn't mind staying."

"Yes I realize that but he may not stay forever."

"He said that he will wait until I'm ready. He promised that he would never leave me and Booth has never broken a promise to me."

"I believe that he has every intention of keeping that promise but what happens if there is a case that takes him out of town? You need to figure out if you can handle being alone."

"When do I have to do this?" She asked softly. Bones wasn't sure if she was ready to give up the security of his embrace while she slept.

"How about tonight?"

"Tonight? Like today?"

"Exactly like today. If you just keep putting it off, it will make it harder for you."

"What happens if my nightmares return?"

"Besides a few minor nightmares you haven't had any in six months. Do you really think that they are going to return Temperance or are you using them as an excuse?"

"An excuse." Bones mumbled.

"Then I think you know what needs to be done and when, right?"

"Yes I know."

"Very good. Now is there anything else you would like to talk about in private before I ask Seeley to come in?" Olivia always started the sessions alone with her patient and then she called Booth in for support when discussing emotional things and for his input since he spent the most time with her.

"There is one thing I want to discuss."

"Please."

"I want to kiss Booth."

"Well good for you Temperance."

"How do I do it?"

"Do I really need to explain to you how to kiss a man?" Olivia joked.

"Of course not. I have kissed many men." Bones didn't get the joke.

"I was just joking."

"Oh sorry."

"It's okay. Tell me, when you asked how do you do it, what exactly do you want to know?"

"How can I kiss him without kissing…them? The last time I tried to kiss him, all I could see in my mind was them."

"Well I have a couple of recommendations." Bones sat up eagerly in her seat. "First of all you need to kiss him, somewhere that the two of you have never kissed before so you can begin to create new memories."

"I can do that."

"Now secondly and most importantly, if you are kissing Seeley and you begin to migrate back to the men who raped you open your eyes and look at the man you are kissing and concentrate on him. With your eyes open you will be able to see that it is Seeley that you are kissing and it is Seeley that is kissing you back. You'll know without a doubt that this kiss is a kiss of love, that it's wanted not forced."

"That is acceptable but what do you suggest I do if your suggestion doesn't work and I can't separate the two?"

"Then you stop kissing him and you try again at another time."

"I appreciate your advice." Bones mused with a small smile as she began to make plans for a special evening.

* * *

Booth peered around the corner, holding his gun tightly, finger in the trigger, ready to squeeze as soon as he saw her. There was only one problem; his target seemed to have disappeared. "I know that you're out there. Come out and face me you coward." He taunted. All he needed was for her to move, even slightly and he would nail her. Checking out his surroundings and not seeing her, he quietly took three steps to his right, still partially covered and suddenly he felt a shot make contact on his chest and then he heard a giggle. "You've got to be kidding me." He grumbled as he started at the bright orange paint splotch on his chest.

"I told you that I was a good shot." Bones said proudly.

"Yes I know. You have told me many times. Where in the hell were you hiding?"

"I'm not telling you. I need that information to remain privileged because I plan on using it when we return in the future so I can win again."

"That will not happen Bones. Next time we come back you are going down." He playfully threw an arm around her shoulder.

"What is the saying?" Bones made a big show of thinking or pretending to think. "Oh yeah, I'll go down when pigs fly." A loud giant belly laugh fell from Booth's mouth. Bones never failed to amaze and amuse him at the same time.

After they returned their paintball guns and protective gear Bones suggested a picnic dinner at the lake which sounded perfect to Booth. After stopping at Wong Foo's and picking up the food that Sid choose for them they headed to the lake and ate their dinner on a blanket. "Did you know about the fireworks show?" Booth asked as he stretched out on the grass and placed his hands behind his head. Bones joined him on the grass but she laid her head on his chest and stretched her legs out in front of them so the couple resembled a lowercase "T"

"I may have heard something about it." Booth unconsciously began to run his fingers through her soft, dark hair.

"You are full of surprises tonight Bones aren't you?"

"I hope so." She mumbled quietly. She was very anxious about the impending second first kiss. She really hoped that she could go through with it and make Booth happy.

"What did you say? I didn't hear you."

"Never mind. It wasn't important."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure." She linked her hand with the one that wasn't running through her hair which was relaxing her to no end. They easily fell into comfortable conversation until the fireworks started and then they "Ohhhed" , Ahhhed" clapped and cheered at the appropriate times.

"That was a great show." Booth exclaimed happily as the two of them made their way to his SUV. "I love fireworks. When we were kids, every year Pops took us downtown to watch the 4th of July fireworks. We always got there early, found the perfect spot and then we spent the day eating greasy food and awesome desserts that the vendors offered."

"I'm not ready to go home yet. Are you up to taking a walk around the lake?"

"That sounds perfect." He quickly tossed their stuff in the back of the SUV, took her hand and they began a slow leisurely walk. "So what's on your mind? You seem a million miles away wrapped up in your thoughts."

"Well there is something that I need to discuss with you."

"Shoot."

"What? Why? I don't have a gun." She exclaimed, her eyes darting around her.

"Relax Bones. I didn't mean it literally. What I meant was go ahead and tell me what you need to tell me." He said with a grin. He loved that after all the years they have been friends and partners she still was so damn literal.

"Then you should have said that." She snapped.

"Bones."

"Sorry." She mumbled.

"So tell me what's going on in that ginormous brain of yours."

"You can't stay with me tonight."

"Umm okay but I got to know Bones, did I do something wrong? Have I crossed a line or pushed you too far?" Bones stopped walking and pulled Booth so he was standing in front of her. Taking his free hand in hers, so now both of their hands were now linked, she spoke softly.

"You have done nothing wrong Booth. In fact since you saved me from my kidnappers you have done everything right. I've pushed you away, I've begged you to stay. I've cried on your shoulder, and I've hit you in anger and fear and I've almost shot you. Any other man would have left but not you Seeley. You have stuck around through fat and skinny." Booth had to smile at her version of "through thick and thin" "And I am and I will be forever grateful."

"So why are you kicking me out?"

"Olivia."

"Olivia huh? Is she taking over my side of the bed?" He asked with a grin.

"No. Absolutely not. She is afraid that I am too comfortable having you in my bed."

"Is that such a bad thing?" She couldn't help but smile.

"Olivia thinks so. There may be a time when you may not be with me."

"I'm not ever going to leave you Bones."

"I know that but there may be a time when you won't have a choice but to leave; you may have an out of town case for example so instead of waiting to see if I have nightmares when you aren't available to come to my rescue, like you always do Olivia decided that there is no time like the present."

"Are you ready to be alone at night?" He knew she was ready even if she didn't.

"At night, when you hold me I have never felt safer. I know that my nightmares won't haunt me while I'm in your embrace but at the same time I know that there is a chance that they will return if your not there and if they do I need to face them, alone. I can't continue to live in fear of sleeping alone anymore. If I get any nightmares tonight I will kick those nightmares ass."

"That's my girl." Booth said proudly. "So how long do I have to sleep alone for?"

"One week." He nodded in understanding.

"Bones I am so damn proud of you. You have come so far and made some amazing strides. As I watch you struggle to resume a normal life, I love you more every day." Bones knew that this was her opening. She placed her arms around his neck.

"I'm going to miss you so much."

"We'll still see each other every day." He wrapped his arms around her as well and hugged her, assuming that is what she wanted.

"Booth." She mumbled.

"Yeah Bones?" He pulled away from her so he could look at her beautiful face.

"I love you." Before he process what was about to happen, it happened. Her lips were pressing to his.

She began to move her lips against his and at first Booth didn't respond. He was shocked by what was happening but his head quickly caught up with his lips and he began to move his lips in time with hers. Bones was fine with the kiss until he began to respond and she felt her heart begin to pound faster and it wasn't due to arousal. Instead of pulling away she took Olivia's advice and opened her eyes. The instant she saw Booth, she instantly calmed down and was able to enjoy the kiss. "Wow." Booth breathed when they finally broke apart.

"I..I hope that it was worth the wait." She whispered, almost shyly.

"It was definitely worth the wait." He reached out and gently touched her face. "I love you too sweetheart." A tear of happiness slid down his face. "May I?"

"Please." Smiling, Booth leaned forward kissed her again and this time her response was instant. She was moving her lips against his and her tongue was seeking entrance into his mouth, which he obviously granted. A small moan escaped from both of them when their tongues connected and Bones kept her eyes closed for this kiss.

Reluctantly, they broke apart because they knew that they had to return to their respective homes. Slowly they returned to his SUV because neither of them was ready for this wonderful evening to end. They kissed once more before they got into the SUV and then they held hands the entire drive home. Both of them were in total bliss. "I know that I'm not allowed to stay here tonight but can I walk you to your door?"

"I would like that."

"Stay put and let me be a gentleman." He ordered. He jumped out and raced over to her side of the SUV and opened her door.

"That really isn't necessary. " She said as he assisted her out of the SUV.

"I know, but I love it."

"It's because of your alpha male traits that cause you to enjoy being so…alpha male." They rode up in the elevator is silence because they both knew when they reached the door of her apartment; this wonderful night would just be a memory.

"I know that I am supposed to kiss you and leave but is it okay if I come in?"

"Booth it will probably be easier for both of us if we just say goodnight out here in the hallway."

"Yeah I know that but I need my toothbrush and my shaving kit. Hopefully, I will be returning so I can leave my clothes and boxers here." Over the past month that he has been staying with her, some of his clothes had taken residence in a dresser drawer that she had cleared for him.

"If you walk through that door with me, I won't let you leave and I need for you to leave tonight because if you stay, I won't be able to ever let you leave me, even for a week."

"I'll wait right here." With a smile, Bones disappeared into her apartment and returned a few minutes later with a bag full of Booth's things. He took it from her and set it on the floor next to him. "Thank you for this amazing night Bones. I don't remember the last time I had so much fun."

"You're welcome. I wanted this evening to be perfect for you."

"It was. Can I kiss you goodnight?"

"You don't have to ask. You can kiss me anytime you want."

"I don't want to scare you."

"I trust you Booth and I know that you won't hurt me." He just stood there staring at this amazing woman while he wore a stupid grin. "So are you going to kiss me or not?"

"Oh yeah." He finally snapped out of his trance. He bent down until his face was inches from hers. "I am going to kiss you." He placed his hand on the back of her neck and they shared another, amazing, heart stopping kiss.

* * *

"Booth." He snapped into his office phone.

"I take it you got the file I sent you?" Special Agent Lauren Thompson asked.

"Hell yes I got the god damned file. Are they insane?"

"Legally, they have every right to ask for an investigation."

"No they don't." He practically shouted. "After what happened to Bones…"

"They didn't do it Booth, their family members are responsible for what happened to Dr. Brennan."

"And how in the hell do you think they became terrorrists? Their families raised those bastards to become terrorists."

"You need to calm down." Lauren warned.

"I am not calming down."

"I'm on my way down."

"I don't want…Lauren? Hello?" She hung up on him. "God Dammit." He muttered.

As he thumbed through the file that Lauren sent him, he grew angrier by the second. The family members of the terrorists that were killed during the rescue of the kidnapped group of anthropologists was filing a complaint against the FBI, stating that excessive force was used during the rescue. Personally Booth thought that the bullets to the head that those bastards received were just what they deserved but the FBI may not be on the same page as Booth because the were initiating an investigation.

"Excuse me sir?" Agent Jackson said, poking his head in Booth's office.

"What?"

"Can you take a look at something?"

"Can it wait?"

"No sir. I have to be in court in forty five minutes."

"Fine." Sighing in irritation, he pushed away from his desk and followed the agent to his desk, leaving the file on Bones' kidnapping on his desk.

Of course the simple item that needed looked at wasn't so simple and instead of a couple minutes that Booth planned on spending on Jackson's problem turned into ten. Assuming that Lauren was waiting, impatiently in his office he rushed back and his heart took a nose dive into his stomach when he saw the wrong woman sitting behind his desk thumbing through the file on his desk. Booth stepped into his office and shut the door.

"What is this?" She asked, her voice, void of any emotion.

"You shouldn't be looking at that Bones." There were pictures of all of her injuries and detailed written reports about the torture she endured.

"Why do you have this?"

"I can explain Bones." The normal softness of her face was gone, replaced with hurt and anger, more anger than hurt.

"That's probably true but I don't want to hear your bullshit explanation."

"My explanation is not bullshit." He snapped. "This is an FBI case and I'm an FBI agent. It's logical that I would have your case file."

"Does it turn you on, does it get you all hot and bothered when read what happened to me?" She yelled.

"That's disgusting Bones. It makes me sick to my God damned stomach." He shouted.

"It was here, sitting on your desk. I know that you were reading it and you sure as hell don't look sick to your stomach."

"If you would just give me a chance to explain instead of sprouting crazy accusations then it would actually make sense."

"I never sprout anything Booth." She screamed.

"Just let me explain Bones." He reached out to touch her but she jerked away from him.

"Don't touch me, you…you sick son of a bitch. This whole time you have been telling me to move on from the tragedy that I experienced but this whole time…this whole time..." She picked up the file and threw it across his office. "I trusted you Booth."

"You can still trust me Bones. That hasn't changed."

"Everything has changed Booth." She stormed past him and out of his office.

"BONES. Wait." He yelled after her, causing all the surrounding agents to look up at the superior agent as she rushed out of the office. "What?" He snarled at his staff. "Don't you have a job to do?" The agents quickly returned to work and Booth slammed the door. "God Dammit." He muttered, kicking a chair out of his way. Making his way to his desk chair he collapsed in it, head in his hands. Bones had come so far and now, because she saw this damn file he didn't know how she was going to handle it. She has worked so hard to put this damn thing behind her and because she did a very un Bones like thing and jumped to conclusions all of her hard work just flew out the window.

From the corner of his eye he saw one of the evidence photographs. He picked it up and his heart broke all over again when he saw the bruises that covered Bones' beautiful body. She made it through the week alone at night with flying colors and as soon as the week was up, he returned to her bed. Their relationship has gotten so much stronger over the past month. Bones had become very comfortable kissing him and he had become very comfortable returning the wonderful kisses. She had finally trusted him again and now, because of that damn file they were probably back to square one. As he stared at the picture in front of him, he began to realize that a romantic relationship between them wasn't met to be. They have come across so many obstacles and when they scaled one, another, bigger one was waiting for them and at this very moment, as tears rolled down his face he wasn't sure if he had the energy to complete the obstacle course.

_**Thanks for reading. Reviews are always appreciated**_


	12. Chapter 12

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

"Go away." Booth shouted when he heard a knock on his office door. He knew that it wasn't Bones because she wouldn't knock, she would just walk in and he didn't want to see or talk to anyone. "God dammit, what part of go away is not clear?" He grumbled not even looking up at the guest in his office.

"I just ran into Dr. Brennan or more precisely she ran into me as she stormed onto the elevator and let me tell you something, she was pissed all to hell. I take you told her about the investigation." Special Agent Lauren Thompson asked.

"I didn't have a chance."

"Then why in the hell is she so mad?"

"I was called out and I left the file on my desk. Bones showed up and I guess she got nosy and she flipped through it. By the time I returned she came up with the crazy idea that I was reading her file because it turned me on. I tried to explain but she convinced herself that I'm some kind of pervert and she stormed out." Booth explained miserably.

"She's probably in shock at seeing her rape laid out like that. I'm sure as soon as she calms down, she will understand."

"You don't know Bones very well. Even though she will never admit it, her mind, the thing that never let her down is very fragile still and right now she has convinced herself that I am a pervert and believe me she will rely on what her brain is telling her before she listens to her heart. I don't know if we will be able to fix this."

"Is there anything that I can do?"

"Can you turn back time so Bones is never raped?"

"I wish I could."

"Then there is nothing you can do." He said softly. "Let's talk about this case." Booth was all back to business.

* * *

As Booth was getting ready to head out for the night he got a call notifying that there were skeletal remains found. Instead of hitting speed dial 1 on his phone he called Cam. He hadn't heard a word from Bones all day and he was pretty sure that if he called her she wouldn't answer her phone so through Cam he could get a message to her. He knew that Cam would ask questions and want answers but he figured that he could postpone that for a few days.

Booth was waiting at the site, warning his techs not to touch the scene and risk disturbing the evidence until his forensic anthropologist arrived. He really didn't need to remind them because all of his techs had worked with Bones in the past and were familiar with her wrath if you dared to touch the crime scene before she arrived and none of them wanted to experience that.

"Agent Booth." Booth turned his head when he heard his name and he saw Clark, one of Bones' assistants coming towards him.

"Where's Bones?" He barked

"I'm not sure. Dr. Saroyan told me to come so I came. Where should I start?" Clark asked the agent.

"How about starting with the body?" Booth smarted.

"Yes sir." Booth didn't mean to be so rude but now he was pissed. He couldn't believe that Bones was blowing him off. It wasn't that he didn't like the young doctor, he liked him just fine but he wanted Bones. They understood each other and their methods. Without her, it was just going to be more complicated.

An hour and a half later the body was on its way to the lab so it could be examined in the morning and Booth was heading to Bones' apartment. He knew that she didn't want to see him but he really didn't have a choice. Most of his things had filled her closet, a couple of dresser drawers and her bathroom and he needed his stuff. Pulling into the parking lot, he glanced up at her window, something he always did and he saw the light was on and the curtain moved. He assumed that she was waiting for him. Mentally preparing himself for the berating that he was sure he was about to receive he left his vehicle and made his way into the building.

To get rid of some of his pent up energy he took the stairs to the second floor and as he is walking to her door something sitting in the hall caught his eye. "What the hell?" He mumbled. The closer he got he realized what was that he was seeing. She had put all of belongings out in the hall. "You've got to be kidding me." He was furious. "Bones." He yelled knocking on the door. "Really? You put my shit out in the hall?" He didn't get an answer but he saw a shadow move under the door so he knew she was standing on the other side. "Dammit Bones, open the door."

"Go away. I have nothing to say to you."

"Come on Bones."

"If you are not off of this floor and out of the parking lot in five minutes I am calling the police." Booth picked up his belongings.

"Fine but we will talk about this." He said to the door and waited for a response.

"Four minutes Booth." With a sigh he stormed away.

* * *

"Dr. Brennan may we have a moment of your time." Cam asked. Bones looked up from the table in Limbo and saw Booth and Cam standing in front of her.

"You may have a moment but he may not."

"Bones you're acting like a bratty twelve year old."

"Seeley." Cam warned. "Dr. Brennan your request is not an option. We have a murder victim on the platform. Booth is the agent in charge so you two are going to have to fix whatever the hell it is that is broken so you can work together to solve a murder."

"As I told you yesterday Dr. Saroyan, I will never work with him again."

"Not really seeing a choice here Bones since I am the FBI liaison to The Jeffersonian."

"If you want my expertise in these cases then have another agent assigned to liaise.

"Not going to happen since no one at the bureau likes working with you but me." Booth snapped.

"Until said agent is assigned I will be available for consultation with my staff here but I will not have anything to do with him."

"Cam give us a minute?" Booth requested and without a word she quickly walked out of the room. "We need to talk."

"I don't want to hear your explanation. In fact I don't want to hear anything from you, ever again."

"You, the woman who never jumps to conclusions made a big ass leap when you saw your file on my desk."

"Shut up."

"I had to see the file because the FBI is…"

"SHUT UP!" She screamed.

"No Bones, I'm not going to shut up. I'm going to talk and dammit, you're going to listen." Next thing he knew her hand was flying out in front of her and before he could react she slapped him as hard as she could across the face.

"Don't you ever talk to me like that again, EVER." Booth was stunned and he couldn't respond. "I can't believe what you turned out to be."

"What? A friend? A lover?" He asked, rubbing his very sore cheek.

"A sick, twisted, perverted bastard. You are no better than the people that you have arrested. I hate them and I hate you."

"Would you just listen to yourself? You know me Bones. You know me better than anyone. You know I'm not that man and you don't hate me. You hate the man that raped you, not me."

"I am not a child. Don't tell me what I know and what I don't know and who I hate and don't hate."

"Just think about it Bones why…"

"I do think about it. I think about it every waking minute. I think about the fact that I let you hold me and kiss me and the whole time, the whole time you were just waiting to…"

"Don't you even dare say it."

"Or what Booth? Are you going to hit me, call me a bitch, push me down on the floor and…?"

"ENOUGH." He screamed. He couldn't take anymore. "You are still really messed up Bones. You need help."

"Go to hell." She seethed.

"I'm going to give you what you want. I'm going to walk away. Not because I don't care or love you, I'm walking because I will not allow you to treat me like some sick perv that I'm not. When you finally wake up and see what a big mistake you are making, come find me cause I'll be waiting." He turned on his heel and walked out of limbo leaving her alone, once again.

Even though it was her choice to push him out of her life she couldn't stop the tears that fell down her cheeks. Sliding to the floor, placed her head in her hands and cried silently. She was so confused. For the first time in her life her brain was confusing her. She saw the pictures of her bruised and battered body on his desk. She knew that he had been looking through them. He claimed that it was normal for him to have those pictures since it was an FBI case but he was an FBI agent but he worked homicide cases and her rape wasn't a homicide so there was no logical reason for him to have her case. Even Agent Thompson tried to cover for Booth by telling her the FBI was investigating the rescue but she didn't buy it because that didn't explain why Booth had the file. The FBI wouldn't give the file to one of the agents that they were investigating. It was ludicrous and the fact that he actually thought that she would believe that lame story was even more ludicrous.

As convinced as she was that he was using those pictures as a masturbatory aide there was a small part of her brain that was telling her that he isn't that kind of man but the evidence was overwhelming and she believed in the evidence and because of this hard evidence she believed with everything that she had everything he had done for her over the past year had just been a ploy to get her to trust him so he could rape her and nothing he could say would convince her otherwise.

* * *

"Sweetie."

"Angela." After work Angela drug her out for a drink. She knew something was going on between her best friend and Booth and she was worried about her and if she was totally honest with herself, she was curious about what went down between the partners.

"You've been awfully quiet."

"I guess that I just don't have much to say."

"Come on Bren. This is me that you are talking to. Something is going on between you and Booth."

"I would rather not talk about it."

"Now how many times in the past have I let that statement slide? Did you two have a fight?"

"Not exactly."

"Then what exactly happened sweetie?" Bones' sighed into her wine glass. She didn't want to talk about it because every time she thought about how he deceived her, how it turned out that he wasn't the man she thought he was, she gets angry.

"I finally realized that Booth isn't man he pretends to be."

"Pretend?"

"He's not who I thought he was. He…"

"Oh my God. Sweetie did he hit you?" The question left a bad taste in her mouth. Angela never would have thought in a million years that Booth would lay a hand on her best friend but she just said that Booth wasn't who she thought he was so maybe he did hit her. He is, after all, the son of an abusive alcoholic father so maybe Booth inherited that particular trait.

"Please Angela I don't want to talk about Booth, not now, not tomorrow, not ever again. Booth and I are no longer partners or friends. Seeley Booth is no longer a part of my life."

"Please sweetie, can you just tell…"

"No Angela. I don't want to talk about it, not now, not ever again."

"Whatever you want." Angela temporarily relented but she was far from giving up. If Brennan wouldn't talk then she was going to the man who hurt her best friend.

Twenty minutes later Bones called it a night and Angela agreed because she suddenly had her own mission. After making sure her friend made it to her car safely Angela drove straight over to Booth's apartment. Within fifteen minutes Angela had parked on the street and was banging on his door.

"Oh hey Ange." Booth greeted in surprise. "Is Bones okay?"

"Seeley Booth you son of a bitch." Angela spat. Instinct to protect her best friend kicked in and she slapped him, hard across the face.

"Ow." Booth jerked back. "You know what? This is the second time today that I have been slapped in my face and it's really starting to piss me off. What in the hell has gotten into you?"

"What in the hell did you do to her? Did you hit her?"

"Did I hit Bones? Are you seriously asking me that?"

"Do I look like I am kidding?"

"Come inside." Booth moved to the side and Angela stepped inside and followed him into the living room. When he sat down, she followed suit. "Did she say that I hit her?" He asked softly.

"No. She won't tell me anything."

"Then why do you think that I hit her?" Angela didn't speak and Booth knew the answer. "Because I got the hell beat out of me as a child then you automatically think that I hit her. Do you really think that I would do that?"

"I don't know what to think. All I know is she said that you aren't the man we all thought that you were. She trusted you more than she had ever trusted anyone since her parents left her. She gave you her heart so you must have done something really horrible for her to say that."

"It's all a big misunderstanding."

"How in the hell can someone misunderstand a slap or a punch?"

"I did not hit her. I would never lay a hand on her." Seeing the sincerity on his face and hearing it in his voice she believed him.

"Then what happened Booth? What did you do to hurt her so badly?"

"She didn't tell you?" Angela shook her head. "Then it's not my place to tell you. If she wants you to know then she will tell you."

"If you give me your side then I can talk to her and convince her to talk to you if it really is just a misunderstanding." Booth sighed as he debated with himself about what to do. He wanted and could definitely use Angela's help and if anyone could convince Bones it was Angela but he couldn't make himself tell Angela what happened simply because Bones didn't want her to know and he still found himself wanting to protect her and the only way he could do that right now was simply by respecting her wishes.

"I'm sorry Angela but this is between me and Bones."

"But Booth…"

"Talk to her."

"She is refusing to talk to me about it or about you period."

"She'll work it out in time. She always works everything out." Booth's voice was lacking the normal confidence that he always has when speaking about Bones.

* * *

"Good afternoon Temperance." Olivia said from her office door. "Where is Seeley today?" She asked as she looked around the empty waiting room.

"He won't be joining me anymore. Can we get started please?" Bones walked past her therapist into her office and took her usual seat.

"So Seeley won't be joining us anymore?"

"That is correct." Olivia waited for her patient to elaborate but it didn't happen so Olivia jumped right in.

"And why won't he be joining us anymore?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Did you two get into a fight?"

"I said that I don't want to talk about it. Booth and I are no longer friends."

"Temperance, Seeley has been a prominent fixture in your life as well as your recovery. I think that it's very important that we discuss what happened."

"I am not here to discuss my relationship or lack there of with Seeley. I am here to process my rape. Now can we do that please or do I need to find another therapist?"

"No need to find another therapist Temperance."

"Fine. Let's get started." She had made the decision that she was going to get well, on her own, without Booth. She didn't need him or anyone to heal. She was tired of being raped, everyday in her mind and she was going to get well and soon.

* * *

"Happy Birthday bub." Booth greeted his son.

"Thanks dad."

"So how does a Capitals game sound for your birthday?" Parker's eyes lit up with excitement.

"It's just what I want. It sounds totally awesome."

"Let's go." Parker scrambled up into the SUV. Before Booth made it to the driver's side he heard his son squealing in delight. Booth knew he found and already unwrapped the birthday gift he left on the seat.

"Dad, this is the best present ever. It just came out. How did you get it?" Being the great dad that he was he went and put down a deposit to guarantee the video game that Parker wanted the day it was released, which was yesterday, perfect timing for his son's birthday.

"I'll never tell my secret."

"Thanks dad. Thanks so much. Can we play it after the game?"

"We sure can."

An hour later the Booth boys were sitting in their seats at the game, their laps filled with as much greasy food, sugar filled snacks and soda as they could possibly muster. Booth knew by the end of the night they would both end up on the couch with stomach aches but it would be worth it. "Where did you get your new hat?" Booth was the one who usually bought his baseball caps and he didn't buy the one that was on top of Parker's blond curls.

"Bones got it for me for my birthday." Booth almost choked on the bite of hot dog that he just took. "You okay dad?"

"I'm fine. Did you say that Bones gave you that hat?" Parker nodded. "You actually saw her?"

"Yeah. Yesterday. She came over and took me dinner for my birthday."

"Really?"

"Yes really. Why is she mad at you?"

"What makes you think that she is mad at me? Did she tell you that?"

"No. She just said that you guys aren't friends anymore so I probably won't get to see her very much. Why aren't you guys friends anymore? What did you do?"

"It's a long story son."

"That's what Bones said. Can't you guys just use your words and make up like you tell me to do when Jason and I get into fights."

"I wish that it was that easy Parks but it's not."

"Bones said that you guys will never be friends again. Is she right?"

"I hope not bub. I'm trying to fix things and it may take a long time."

"She told me that she will always love me even though you're not friends. Is it true?"

"Yeah Parker. It's true. Bones would never lie to you."

"You guys look so sad now so I hope that you make up soon."

"Me too Parker. Me too."

Booth no longer had an appetite so all of the food and snacks just went to waste. It had been two and a half long months since they had last spoken. He has caught glimpses of her a few times in the lab but as soon as she saw him she quickly looked away and retreated into Limbo, where she has spent most of her time. He worried about her, constantly, but he couldn't get any information about her from anyone, not even Angela. Everyone had gotten very tight-lipped about every aspect of her life and he has been left out in the cold.

He once told her that they were "the center" of their team and for the team to work at their fullest potential, "the center" had to hold and he always thought that it would but he was wrong. "The center" was no more. It had been ripped apart like a present on Christmas morning. He still was investigating homicides with The Jeffersonian but without Bones. The cases were taking longer to solve maybe because her interns weren't as smart as she was or maybe it was because his heart wasn't in it anymore. He still wanted to but murderers behind bars but now, it was just different.

Hell, everything in his life was different. The only positive thing he had was his beloved son. He seemed to have lost most of his friends and mainly because his friends were her friends first and their loyalty remained with Bones. He tried to call and text her and at first she just ignored his calls and never returned his numerous messages and the finally she just changed her numbers and he couldn't get her new ones. He missed all of the conversations, arguments and hugs. He missed the kisses, the soft touches, her blue eyes and her smile. He just missed his partner and his best friend and he had never felt so alone before.


	13. Chapter 13

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

Bones rolled out of Alex's arms, the bed and she began to collect her clothes from the floor. "Are you leaving?" Alex asked.

"Yes I am as soon as I get dressed." Placing her clothes on the edge of the bed, she began to dress.

"Why don't you stay the night?"

"Because I have to be at work early in the morning." She lied.

"You can go to work from here." She sat on the edge of the bed and put her boots on.

"I told you when I got here this evening that I would not be staying all night." Zipping up her boot she stood and turned to the bed. "I apologize if my intention for tonight was not made clear to you."

"What exactly was your intention Temperance?"

"To have sex with you."

"That's it? Sex was all you wanted?"

"Yes that is all I wanted. I had to prove something to myself and you helped me with that."

"What did you need to prove to yourself?"

"It doesn't matter." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Thank you." She turned and grabbed her purse.

"Will I be hearing from you again?"

"Probably not." With that being spoken she turned and walked out of the room and out of Alex's apartment.

As soon as she got home she went straight to the shower, turned the water on as hot as she could stand it, quickly stripped and stepped into the shower, scrubbing Alex's scent and sweat off of her body and then she just stood there, letting the hot water cascade over her until her body was red and blotchy from the heat.

Once she got out of the shower she dressed in shorts and a tee shirt and then treated herself to a well deserved glass of wine. It had been one year and four months since she had been kidnapped and raped. It had been six months since she found out what kind of man Booth was. It had been six months of very hard, intense therapy with Olivia but she was convinced that she was recovered and tonight proved that to her.

For the first time in a year and four months she had sex and it didn't terrify her. Olivia had an interesting method for preparing Bones for sexual intercourse. She instructed her patient to masturbate. Olivia explained that before she could feel comfortable having another man touch her she had to be comfortable with intimate touching period and the only way to achieve a level of comfort that will allow her to enjoy sexual intercourse again was masturbation.

Bones used to be a woman with strong sexual desires that often had to be stated with masturbation but when she tried it for the first time since the rapes it wasn't the same. It used to take very little to turn her on, all she had to do was think about Booth and she would be soaking wet within minutes but not anymore. She couldn't think of Booth without getting angry so now she had to get wet the old fashioned way. She had to resort to watching porn.

With the sounds of moaning in the background, she stripped out of her clothes, and lay naked on her bed. She began to caress her breasts and her nipples hardened under her hand but she didn't enjoy it. When she pinched her nipple, something that always elevated her pleasure, she felt nothing except for a twinge of fear as she recalled how those bastards pinched her nipples during the rapes. She quickly pushed her fears away and continued to caress her breasts. Eventually her free hand, traveled down to her center and she began to rub her clit, hoping it would bring moisture to vagina but it wasn't working. She was dry as a bone and she couldn't masturbate like that. She grabbed her lubricant from her night stand and poured it onto her fingers and then she inserted them inside of her, first one then a second. She pumped her fingers inside of herself until her hand cramped up but she never brought herself to an orgasm.

Olivia warned her that her first attempt at masturbation may not be successful so she tried again the next night and in the end she was able to experience a small release and something was better than nothing. The next step in Olivia's plan was to use a vibrator in the shape of a penis; that would be the true test to see if she could handle sexual intercourse with a man. After masturbating with her fingers she assumed that using a vibrator wouldn't be much different but she was wrong. As soon as she inserted the penis shaped toy inside of her, she panicked. All she could see, all she could feel through her closed eyes, was those men who tormented her. She pulled the toy out, threw it across the room, pulled her legs to her chest and sobbed. A few days later she tried it again, after an appointment with Olivia, and she was successful in not ripping the toy from her body, not in having an orgasm, that occurred about a week later and when she did finally orgasm Booth's name fell from her lips.

When she was finally ready to have sex, she consulted Angela on who her partner could be and together they decided that Alex was the best candidate. Bones wanted someone that looked nothing like Booth and even though she never said it out loud Angela seemed to know it and hence, they choose Alex because he looked nothing like Booth. Alex was the same height as Bones, blonde hair, blue eyes and a very small amount of muscle mass and he looked absolutely nothing like Booth. In the past she had called upon Alex to satisfy her biological urges and he understood that their relationship was purely sexual.

Alex and Bones went to dinner and then back to his apartment because it was easier for her to leave once intercourse was completed. Once they arrived at his apartment, they got right down to it because there was no pretense as to why she was there. When he began to kiss her she allowed her lips to move against his. She flinched when his hands cupped her breasts but Alex didn't seem to notice, he just continued to fondle them. When he started to take her shirt off she stopped him because she needed to have some control of the situation. Removing her hands from her body she took her own clothes off and Alex followed her example. Once she was naked Alex began kissing her again and they fell onto the bed.

Alex began to slowly caress her body with his hands and mouth, fingers inside of her and his mouth on her breasts. She wasn't scared but she really wasn't enjoying it either but she made the appropriate sounds that one makes during foreplay. When he entered her she gasped and immediately tensed up but Alex didn't notice, he just continued to thrust and groan against her, for a few minutes she was back in that horrible room. Taking some deep breaths she mentally took herself out of the shack and put herself back in the room with Alex, a technique Olivia taught her, and she was able to contribute by moving underneath him until he was grunting in pleasure. She didn't orgasm but she acted as if she had because Alex is a very considerate lover and he would have continued doing to do things to her until she did orgasm and she just wasn't in the mood.

Sitting at home, sipping her third glass of wine she was extremely proud of herself. She had sex again and didn't freak out. Sure, she was uncomfortable and at the beginning she was scared but she worked through it and concord one of her biggest fears. She had sex again. The only thing that bothered her about the whole experience was the fact that she thought about Booth the entire time that Alex was making love at her and there was something very wrong with that.

* * *

"Booth."

"Seeley, it's me."

"Rebecca, is Parker okay?"

"Yes. He is fine."

"So what's up? You never call me during the day just to chat."

"I have this friend, Alyssa…"

"Let me guess." Booth interrupted. "She has some parking tickets that need taken care of."

"No."

"Then what is it Becca?"

"She's a really nice woman and you're a really nice man…"

"Hell no Rebecca. You are not setting me up with one of your friends. I'm in love with Bones."

"Seeley it's been six months. I think it's safe to say whatever was between you two is over."

"I can't just give up on me and Bones. She has been through a trauma and she's not thinking straight right now. I know that she'll come around. She just needs more time."

"She has had six months Seeley. How much more time does she need?"

"Why do you suddenly care so much about my love life?"

"Because I care about you. Seeley you're miserable, Parker can see it, I can see it, hell everyone can see it and you deserve to be happy. You are a wonderful man who deserves to be loved, not by me, but by a wonderful woman."

"All right Becs. Let me think about it." He really wasn't going to think about it. Seeing another woman wasn't even an option to him but he needed to tell his ex something so she would back off.

"You better. Are you still planning on picking Parker up after school?"

"Of course I am. I'll see you later tonight."

"With an answer."

"Don't push it Rebecca. I'll see you later." Booth ended the call and glanced at clock. He had fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes until he and Bones would be in the same room together for the first time in six months. He was still the F.B.I. liaison to The Jeffersonian but he now works with the interns. He tried to see and talk to her whenever he was at the lab but she avoided him like the plague and he couldn't get to her. He tried to call but she refused to take his calls while she was at work and since she changed her home and cell numbers he had no other way to reach her so he did the next thing. He staked out her apartment during the first two months of non-contact. He had to know and see for himself that she was safe. After two months he felt like a stalker so he gave it up. He was fairly certain that she was safe and that's what was and still is important to him.

Today was his day along with Bones and Lauren to be interviewed by internal affairs. The other victims and agents involved in the kidnapping had already been interviewed and now it was their turn. They were all scheduled to be in the conference room at the same time, probably for observation, and they were going to be pulled, one by one to an interrogation room to be interviewed by an IA agent. This whole IA investigation was bullshit because the mission went down as it should have gone down. The only positive thing about this whole damn thing was the fact that he and Bones would be in the same room after six, incredibly long months.

"Olivia, what are you doing here?" Booth asked walking into the conference room.

"I'm here to support Temperance."

"How is she doing?"

"She rescinded her privacy authorization so I can no longer discuss her with you."

"I understand." Booth mumbled. Hearing movement behind him he turned around and came face to face with her.

"Bones." He whispered. She looked so beautiful. "How are you?"

"Excuse me." She brushed past him

"Agent Booth."

"Sweets, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I am a trained psychologist. Everyone here today is going to be discussing a very traumatic event so I'm here if anyone needs to talk."

"Well it's a really good thing that you are here Sweets."

"Is that sarcasm Agent Booth?"

"Me sarcastic? Never." Sweets shook his head as Booth walked away smiling.

Ten minutes later three IA agents walked into the conference room and introductions were made. "Would any of you like lawyers?" Agent O'Loughin asked.

"Why would I need a lawyer?" Bones asked. "I was the victim."

"Technically, you don't need a lawyer but if you want one you are allowed to have one."

"I don't require a lawyer but Booth may need one."

"Don't start Bones." Booth mumbled.

"Agent Booth, do you need a lawyer?" Agent Wilkins asked him.

"No. I don't."

"Let's get started. Agent Booth would you please come with us?" Agent Hentley requested and Booth followed him and Agent O'Loughin into an interrogation room while Agent Wilkins remained behind with Lauren and Bones.

For the next hour Booth was on the other end of an interrogation and he didn't like it. He did nothing wrong when he shot those bastards who kidnapped and raped Bones. Agents Hentley and O'Loughlin questioned his motives for shooting the terrorists, insinuating that he shot them because they had raped his girlfriend but he insisted that it wasn't the case. He shot the terrorists because they were about to kill one of the kidnapping victims, who just happened to be Bones. He told them that he would have done the exact same thing no matter who the victim was.

An hour later he was sent back to the conference room while the IA agents conferred. When Booth walked back into the conference room he walked straight over to Bones and placed his hand around her upper arm, gently, of course. "Was that comment about the lawyer really necessary?" He seethed.

"Get your damn hands off of me." She easily shrugged out of his grip because he wasn't holding tightly.

"With your snide little comment about me needing a lawyer put the thought into their heads that I did something wrong."

"So?"

"So?" Their voices were slowly getting louder. "My job is on the line Bones. That stupid-ass comment could get me fired."

"You should be fired Booth. The F.B.I. shouldn't have perverts working for them."

"I. Am. Not. A. Pervert." He shouted, not really caring who heard.

"Agent Booth."

"But out Sweets." Booth snapped.

"All of those months, you spent supposedly helping me, it wasn't about me. It was all about you. How many years have you been planning on raping me? The only thing that I don't understand is why you didn't rape me during the night we spent together? You had multiple opportunities to tie me up and rape me? Why didn't you? I know it's what you wanted, what you still want. I know you want to hear me beg you to stop."

"You're wrong Bones. You are so very wrong."

"You had my damn file. How many times did you look at the pictures of my beaten body and jack off to them? If I took a black light to the photographs would they be covered in your semen?"

"Temperance, that was inappropriate." Olivia told her.

"Stay out of it Olivia." Bones snapped.

"How could you think that about me?" Booth asked her, his voice filled with hurt.

"When you read the reports did you fantasize about how you wanted to rape me? Did those reports give you any ideas that you didn't have before? Maybe you want to handcuff me to your bed, tie my legs up and rape me over and over."

"Enough Bones." He begged.

"How many times have you fantasized about shoving your gun up my ass and raping me like those bastards did to me?" Sweets mouth fell to the floor and Lauren wanted to crawl under the table.

"You know that's not true." Booth defended himself.

"I know that you're a liar. For years you have portrayed yourself as a God-fearing, Catholic boy but that façade has all been a lie. You fooled everyone, claiming that you believed in God and you followed his laws but obviously you don't, because I'm fairly certain that your God doesn't condone raping woman." Booth felt his anger rising to the surface. "For months or even years you have always acted like an over-bearing friend, which I attributed to you being an alpha male but now I know it was all because you're eventual goal was to dominate and rape me. Everything you have ever done for me, giving me Smurfette, Jasper, helping me bury Ripley, taking that bullet it for me, all you wanted was for me to get comfortable with, drop my defenses so you could rape me." She reached out and slapped his face. "You son of a bitch. How could you?"

"I'm so damned tired of your bullshit Temperance." He shouted. He could handle her impeding his faith. What he couldn't handle was Bones throwing everything he ever did for her back in his face, like it was all part of a vicious plan. "Every gesture, every hug, every gift that we have shared over the past years has been shared with a pure motive, the "I love you" motive." She opened her mouth to speak but he held up his hand to stop her. "No Temperance, you had your chance to make a fool out of me in a roomful of people and now it's my turn to defend myself so keep your mouth closed." He had never spoken to her like that before but he was so angry that he couldn't help himself. He took a deep breath in order to calm himself down before he continued.

"We have been friends for years, best friends. You know me better than anyone has ever known me and you know that I would never, ever want to rape you. Hurting you is the last thing that I would ever want but apparently, it's the last thing you care about. Saying that I want to rape you; that hurts me more than you'll ever know."

"The truth shouldn't hurt."

"It's not the god damned truth." He roared. "For over a year, I have put my life on hold for you over the past year and a half. I've cried too many tears over and with you. I've lost sleep because I was worried about you and because you call me in the middle of the night because of your nightmares. Remember all of the times that I held you through your tears and terror and I became your damned punching bag. How many times have you slapped me or punched me because you were scared? There is nothing that I wouldn't have done for you but not anymore. I'm done Temperance. You need help. Lots of help. Your brain is so screwed up from the rapes, something that never would have happened if you would have just listened to me when I told you not to go."

"Are you saying the rape was my fault?"

"No. The rapes weren't your fault. Not listening to me is your fault. I told you, I practically begged you not to go but because my gut isn't as reliable as your brain, you didn't trust me and you got raped. How reliable is your brain now Temperance?" He saw hurt flash across her face but he ignored it and walked out of the conference room.

"Agent Booth, we're not done." Agent Hentley said.

"I am. If you need me, you can find me in my office, if I still have a job that is."

"You still have a job."

"Thank you." Booth stormed away from the agent and into his office.

"Dr. Brennan…" Sweets began as soon as Lauren was escorted out of the room but Olivia interrupted him.

"Dr. Sweets, I think you should let me handle this."

"Actually, I don't think so. You may have been treating Dr. Brennan for over a year but I have been treating them both for years and I know Agent Booth. You really do not." Olivia nodded. Sweets pulled out a chair and sat next to his patient.

"Dr. Brennan, do you really believe that Agent Booth wants to rape you?"

"Of course I do. I wouldn't have said it otherwise." She answered confidently.

"Dr. Brennan, do you really believe that Agent Booth wants to rape you?" Sweets repeated.

She took a minute before she responded. "Yes I do." Her voice wasn't as confident.

"I don't think you do."

"Don't tell me what I think."

"Your brain has been the only constant, reliable thing for half of your life but it has let you down."

"No."

"You have been through a very traumatic experience. You survived but surviving was just the beginning. Once you survive you have to start living again Dr. Brennan and to start living again you need a lot of help. You've gotten help and you seem to be healing and living again but it's not enough."

"I have been in therapy for over a year. I believe that I have had quite enough therapy."

"I disagree. If you have had enough therapy then you wouldn't be saying and thinking those awful things about Agent Booth, your friend."

"No. I'm not wrong. He had my kidnapping file on his desk."

"Think about what you just said Dr. Brennan. If he was using your file as a masturbatory aide why would he be using it at work? Wouldn't Agent Booth want to hide a secret like that? If what you believe is true then he would have copied your file and kept it at his apartment, maybe under his pillow but not at work." Sweets saw what he was saying was slowly registering so he continued pushing. "Agent Thompson gave Agent Booth the file when the case got sent to internal affairs so he could review his notes. That's the only reason that he had that file." By this point the hardened features on her face had softened and tears were streaming down her face.

"Agent Booth came to me on numerous occasions physically sick to his stomach and distraught over what happened to you. Every time he thought about how you were raped he got sick. He may be a good actor on occasion in the interrogation room but he's not that good. His actions are not those of a man with a rape fetish. His actions are those of a man who wants desperately to help heal the woman he loves."

"I don't understand." She whispered.

"Why don't you and Olivia go down to my office and hopefully she can help you understand?" Bones nodded and she allowed Sweets to help her to her feet. He placed an arm around her shoulder and he led them to his office for some privacy.

Once they were settled, he found Agent O'Loughlin and informed him, in his most important physiological voice that Dr. Brennan was not mentally ready for questioning today. After the agent agreed to reschedule Dr. Brennan Sweets made is way to Booth's office. He knocked but he didn't get an answer so he took that as an invitation to enter. "Go away." Booth snapped. Sweets opened the door and found Booth staring at the wall with his back to his office door.

"Agent Booth. How are you doing?"

"Just peachy Sweets. Just peachy."

"Will you please turn around and look at me while we talk?"

"I didn't ask you to come in."

"Fine." Sweets walked around Booth's desk so they were facing each other. "I believed that I finally got through to Dr. Brennan and convinced her that you are not the pervert that she thinks you are."

"She shouldn't need convincing." Booth muttered.

"She's been through a very traumatic experience."

"An excuse that has been tried."

"You can't blame her for what happened to her."

"I'm not blaming her for what happened. I know damn well it's not her fault."

"She's come a long way in her recovery."

"I know that Sweets. I was there for most of it but what she did today, Sweets, there is no coming back from that."

"You can't mean that."

"I do mean it. I hope that she gets better but I am done with her."

"You shouldn't give up on her."

"I can't do it anymore Sweets." Sweets saw a tear slip from his eye. "She's been hurting me for months but today, what she said, in front of people I work with, loud enough for everyone to hear, that was the last straw. I'm done."

"I think that…"

"I'm done talking Sweets. Please get out of my office." Sweets had been in this situation with Booth before and he knew that Booth would not do anymore talking so Sweets left the agent alone.

* * *

Bones stood outside of Booth's office door, trying to get up the nerve to knock. She had spent the last two hours with Olivia trying to make sense of the mess she had made of her and Booth's relationship. She can't believe that her mind betrayed her. She thought that she was better, even normal again but it turns out that she was very, very wrong. She knew and understood that now and she would never forgive herself for what she did to him. She hurt her best friend, the man that she loves. She said some horrible things to him and accused him of unspeakable actions; actions she now knew he would never do. She could see through his glass door and she could see him bent over his filing cabinet looking intently for something. With a shaking hand, she raised her hand and knocked softly.

"It's open." He called. She opened the door, stepped in and waited silently for him to look up at her. "What the hell do you want?" He asked when he finally did look over at her.

"I…I came to apologize." She had never seen Booth like this before. His normally soft features when he was around Bones was gone. He stood in front of her with a very hard, stony expression on his face, an expression he normally reserved for suspects he was interrogating, never for her. When he didn't respond she continued. "I'm so very sorry for what I said to you, for what I accused you of. I'm just so mixed up right now and I was unable to differentiate between my dark thoughts and reality. I know that you would or will never hurt me. I am so sorry that I hurt you Booth. I never wanted that."

"Thank you for your apology but I don't accept it."

"But…why?" She was so confused.

"You hurt me, more than anyone has ever hurt me before and I just can't forgive and forget that."

"Booth…please. You're my best friend."

"I can't be friends or partners with someone who doesn't trust me."

"But I do trust you Booth."

"No you don't because if you did we wouldn't be having this conversation. As your friend, as the man who once loved you I shouldn't of had to convince you that I would never, never, rape you. You should have trusted me, trusted what we had."

"Booth I…"

"I have said all I have to say." He interrupted. "And nothing that you say will change how I feel."

"Please, I know that we can work this out." Tears were falling freely from her eyes.

"You need to leave now." Bones reached out and wrapped her arms around Booth, clinging desperately to him.

"Don't make me leave." For the first time in her life, she was actually begging a man not to leave her.

Booth gently extracted her arms from around him. "It's time for you to leave Dr. Brennan."

"I'm Bones to you, not Dr. Brennan."

"Bones was my friend. You are not my friend anymore. You are a professional colleague and from now on I will be referring to you as such, Dr. Brennan."

"Don't do this."

"Do I need to call security?" She was already feeling humiliated and she didn't want the humiliation to become public so before Booth called security to escort her out she wiped her eyes, turned and left on her own, while she still some dignity left.

As angry as Booth was at his former partner, friend and lover, as he watched her walk out the door his heart broke. He loved her so damn much but he was now convinced that it couldn't, that it wouldn't work between them. They tried, he tried hard, but there were too many obstacles and he couldn't continue to ride in the front car of this emotional roller coaster that he and Bones had been on. It had become too hard.

He had to get out of town, away from everything that reminded him of Bones and the good and times that they had shared. He needed time to clear his mind and figure out where he wanted to go from here. He had some, a lot of vacation time that he hasn't used and now was the perfect time. He picked up the phone and began to make some phone calls.


	14. Chapter 14

**I own none of the characters of Bones **

"Come on Parks, up and at 'em."

"Daddy, it's still dark." Parker whined, pulling the blankets up over his head.

"Must we go through this every morning? I've told that just before dawn is the best time to catch the biggest fish."

"Yeah I know." He mumbled into his pillow. "I just like messing with you."

"Get moving." Booth gently hit his butt. "We're leaving in fifteen." Before walking out of Parker's bedroom, Booth flipped on the bedroom light.

Booth and Parker had spent the past four weeks in a mountain cabin by a lake. Booth had to take a huge chunk out of his savings to afford this but it was well worth it. After speaking with human resources he found out that he had eight weeks worth of vacation, something that happens when you work all of the time and never take any time for yourself so Booth decided to take six of those weeks now and thankfully Rebecca let Parker spend four of the six weeks with his father, something that Parker was thoroughly enjoying.

Father and son, had never spent this much time together at once before and they were having a blast. They settled into a nice routine; waking up before the sun rose every morning to fish, returning about an hour after the sun rose for a nice hearty breakfast and then with full bellies the boys lay down and took a nap. Rising from their naps they ate a light lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon, swimming at the like, hiking, playing put-put golf, going to the movies, whatever Parker wanted to do, they did it. Every evening after they had dinner the boys returned to the lake for some more fishing and then they ended their nights watching a movie or playing video games.

"I'm ready dad." Parker announced walking in the kitchen.

Thirty minutes later Booth and Parker were out in the middle of the lake with their fishing lines in the water. When they were out on the lake during their morning fish, they really didn't talk, they saved that for later. It was during this time that Booth's mind always wondered to Bones. God, he missed her. He couldn't believe how much he missed her. The week before he and Parker left she attempted to call him numerous times but he never answered her calls. In fact he didn't listen to the messages that she left for him. He didn't want to hear what she had to say. He was so conflicted. He loved her and he was so angry at her at the same time. He knew he always would love her but it turned out, love just wasn't enough. He tried to make them work, he tried so hard, harder then he had ever tried for anything before but it proved to be fruitless.

During these morning fishing trips, everyday, he replayed the past year and a half, especially the last day they spoke, over and over in his mind, trying to determine if he did or said something to make her believe that he was what she thought he was, that he was a liar who couldn't be trusted but he couldn't come up with anything. He knew his motives for spending every possible moment with her that he could over the past eighteen months, every gesture, was pure. He truly loved her, loved her deeply, and he just wanted to help her heal not rape and torture her and it still made him sick that she thought that he did. Sure he understood that she isn't the same woman that she once was, but regardless of her state of mind, she didn't trust him, maybe she never did and he knew that a relationship without trust isn't a relationship.

He continued going back and forth between giving her a chance and walking away. For the past seven plus years, she had been a constant figure in his life and over the past couple of years she had become an important part of Parker's life as well so he knew his choice would affect his son as well. If he decided to give her another chance and she grew close to Parker again, it would confuse and hurt Parker when Booth closed the door on their relationship and if Booth really thought about it, he couldn't handle getting hurt again. Since she has been out of his life, really since she pulled the plug on their relationship, there has been a void and emptiness that had developed. When he was alone at night in he ached for her, both physically and emotionally and time has not eased the ache.

He and Parker had one more day and Booth had made his decision. Their personal ties were going to remain cut. He considered putting in a request to move to the anti-terrorism task force but he loved his job and he wasn't going to let Bones take that away from him. He had already lost too much because of his ex partner, friend and lover and he would be damned if she took away the job he loved so much. He was going to continue to be the F.B.I. liaison to The Jeffersonian but things were definitely going to change. Not only had Bones' actions changed things but so did the actions of most everyone else that worked at the lab, with the exception of Cam. While Cam liked Bones and enjoyed working with her, when the rumors about what Booth may have done starting circulating around the lab Cam immediately defended him because she knew him. She knew the accusations were false because of Bones' state of mind and Cam was the only friend he had left at the lab. When he returned back to work the first thing he was going to do was have a squint meeting and inform them of the new rules and he knows how much they love rules.

* * *

"I can't believe that we have to go home tomorrow." Parker commented to his father as they stretched out in front of the television with full bellies.

"I know. It's gone by really fast. Did you have fun Parks?"

"I have had the time of my life. What about you dad, did you have fun?"

"Of course I've had fun. These have really been the best four weeks of my life."

"Are you sure?"

"Yah bub, I'm sure. Why are you asking?"

"Cause you haven't been yourself dad. You've been kinda quiet and when you think I'm not paying attention you look really sad."

"I'm sorry Parker. I wanted to make this vacation perfect for you."

"It was dad, for me but not for you."

"It was perfect for me. You and me, spending time together doing man things for a month straight, that's my idea of perfect."

"No it isn't. If Bones was here with us then it would have been perfect for you."

"No way. If Bones was here then we wouldn't have been able to fart and burp when we wanted to."

"You miss her don't you?"

"Yeah Parks, I do I miss her a lot."

"So then you should have had her come with us."

"I couldn't bub. Bones and I aren't friends anymore."

"Why not?"

"It's personal Parker, something that I don't want to go into with you."

"So you think that you will ever be friends again?"

"Maybe one day."

"Can I still be friends with her even if your not?"

"Yeah bub, you can." As angry as he was at Bones and as badly as she hurt him, he wouldn't keep Bones and Parker apart. He knew that she would never hurt him. Even in some of her darkest days, she was always good to his boy and he couldn't take that relationship away from either of them so if Bones still wanted to stay in contact with Parker, he wouldn't stand in their way.

* * *

"Welcome back Agent Booth." Booth looked up from the mountain of paperwork on his desk that welcomed him when he walked back in his office after being gone for six weeks.

"Dr. Sweets, come in."

"How was your vacation?" Sweets asked the agent, once he was comfortably settled in the chair in front of Booth's desk.

"We need to talk." Booth answered him.

"Of course. That's what I'm here for."

"My partnership with Dr. Brennan has changed and since it has changed I will no longer agree for you to observe us for your book. My association with you will only be for profiles and occasionally in the interrogation room. Our relationship is purely professional so don't come to me anymore about your problems with Daisy."

"I understand that you are angry over your situation with Dr. Brennan but pushing me away is no way to handle it. I can help you resolve your issues and return your partnership to what it once was."

"Help me like you helped me six weeks ago. I don't think so."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Bones treated me like total shit in front of people I worked with, accused me of unthinkable acts. After you got through to her, you wanted me to forgive her and give her another chance because she wasn't herself; she was hurting and confused because of her trauma. Well what about me and my feelings? For six months, six months Sweets, she pushed me away, treated me like crap and I was hurt but no one seems to care about that. I am not letting anyone, not even the woman I love treat me with such disrespect. I am not going to just forgive and forget. I can't do it. Too much damage has been done."

"You are the most important person in Dr. Brennan's life and she needs your forgiveness to move on, to heal."

"What about what I need?" Booth snapped. "For over a year, it's been all about her, which I understand but now, I need it to be about me and what I want and need."

"What do you want and need?"

"I want and need to move on my life. For so many years, my life has been all about my work, Bones and Parker. I want my life to be about me and Parker. I want to move on, find someone who trusts me. I'm working on forgiving Bones and maybe one day I will but it's not a priority. My priority is getting the life back I had prior to the damn Jeffersonian."

"Wasn't gambling a part of your life prior to The Jeffersonian?"

"Get out of my office Dr. Sweets."

"You need to remember that if at any time I feel that you are not mentally equipped to be a field agent I can restrict you to desk duty."

"Is that a threat Dr. Sweets?" Booth's eyes were flashing with anger and Sweets, in spite of himself, shrunk back."

"No. I'm just stating a fact. I will be watching you."

"I'm the agent with the cocky built buckle, in case you get confused." Booth glared at the young psychologist until he retreated from his office.

* * *

"I wonder why Booth wanted to meet us here?" Angela questioned.

Bones was wondering the same thing as she, Angela, Hodgins, Cam and all of her interns sat in the conference room at the Hoover building waiting for the meeting that Booth had called. When the door opened and Booth stepped in, Bones' heart began to pound with nervous anxiety. She hadn't seen him in six, long weeks and he looked great, something she hadn't expected. He had a great tan, he looked rested and refreshed. She kept waiting for him to make eye contact with her but he never did. He looked to the side of her or above her head but never right at her and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from crying.

"Thank you all for coming." Booth began. "As I'm sure you are aware I took some time off and during that time I reevaluated our work situation and I am making some changes that you all need to be aware of. During a case, I am not going to be coming to the lab as often as I once did. I will show up once a day, maybe twice depending on the case for an update. If anything urgent comes up I'm asking you to text me and email with that information. No one, with the exception of Dr. Brennan and Cam, will be going out into the field. If something needs to be collected the F.B.I. has techs that can do that. Do any of you have any questions?"

"Yes I have one." Angela spoke up, something that surprised no one. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what exactly Angela? Setting some boundaries that should have been set a long time ago?"

"Treating us like your employees instead of your friends." Cam knew where the next part of the conversation so she quickly ushered the interns out of the conference room because now, it's personal.

"Friends? No Angela, we are not friends."

"Yes we are." Angela argued with him.

"I think that you have to refresh yourself on the definition of friends."

"Excuse me?"

"Friends don't abandon their friends when they really need them. If you or Hodgins were really my friends then you would have been there for me when I needed you."

"Bren needed us. You didn't."

"What I needed is for my supposed friends to defend me, to Bones and to everyone else when it got out that I had a rape fetish but you didn't. Instead you just gave me the cold and let everyone think that it was true."

"Everyone knows it's not true." Angela mumbled.

"Yeah sure they do. That's why people that I don't even know, females, physically back away from me and the men, I get dirty looks from them and you guys, you have practically written me off. People believe that I am some freak."

"You can't blame me for what people think about you."

"No I can't blame you per say. What I can blame you and Hodgins for is letting people think that's its true. I can't blame the people in the lab because they don't know me. I can't even really blame the interns because they live in constant fear of disappointing the great Dr. Brennan so God, instead of having their own opinions they valued their jobs and chose not to rock the boat but you two, I blame you two for my ruined reputation. I blame you two for not defending me."

"You're right Booth." Hodgins finally spoke. "But we never believed that it was true."

"You may not have believed it but you sure acted as if you did. You were my friends or I thought that you were but you proved to me that I was wrong. I was very wrong." Hodgins stood and walked over to his former friend.

"I'm sorry Booth. I treated you horribly and for that I am very sorry. I hope that you can forgive me one day. I want you to know that you were my friend, a great friend and hopefully one day, we may be friends again and if that happens, I will be a good friend in return." Hodgins held out his hand and Booth took and shook it.

"Thanks Hodgins, I appreciate the gesture and maybe one day." Booth then looked at those who remained in the conference room, with the exception of Bones, who had been sitting silently in her chair watching and listening, feeling worse as every word was spoken because she knew that it was her fault that everyone's friendship with each other was ruined. "I'm done here. You guys can go, except for you Dr. Brennan. I need to have a few minutes alone."

She felt her hope rise as Angela, Jack and Cam slipped out of the conference room. Maybe Booth had forgiven her and he was going to give her a second chance. She had wanted to talk to him for six weeks but he took off and didn't answer her calls. She wanted to apologize to him again and beg for his forgiveness.

Every day since that awful day when he told her she meant nothing to him anymore, she cried. She was miserable. She ruined the best relationship that she had ever had and she didn't know if their relationship would ever recover. She resumed the multiply weekly sessions with Olivia who helped her realize how wrong she was. Her brain had failed her because of her the kidnapping, torture, and rapes. She felt better, mentally and emotionally and Olivia assured her that she was getting better every day.

"Thank you for staying. There are some things that I want to discuss with you." Booth told her, taking the seat across from her.

"Did you enjoy your time off? Parker and I had lunch yesterday and he told me that you two spent the past month together at a cabin." She asked him.

"You and Parker had lunch?" Booth seemed surprised.

"Yes. He called me when you two got back and invited me to lunch. He told me that he had the time of his life."

"The topic of my vacation and Parker is part of my personal life, which you are no longer a part of."

"Booth please don't do this." Tears filled her eyes, a common occurrence anymore. "We can fix this. We can fix us." She reached out, across the table and took his hands in hers but he immediately pulled away.

"The only us there is right now is work related, which is what I want to talk to you about." As hard as it was to look her in the eyes and see the tears that were falling he knew he had to continue to look her in the eye simply because he taught her how important it was to maintain eye contact. "I can't be your partner anymore."

"Why not?"

"Partners need to trust each other and I don't trust you so things are going to have to change between us. Basically you are going to become a lab rat again. The only time I want you out in the field with me is at the scene. You have a keen sense of knowing what is needed from the scene to solve the crime. Other than that, all of the work that you do will be in the lab. No more coming out in the field with me nor will you be in the interrogation room with me. Do you understand?"

"I do understand why you made this decision but I know that we can continue to work together professionally."

"You're probably right but the truth is I don't want to work with you."

"You don't mean that."

"Yes I do."

"I have been working really hard with Olivia. I'm better Booth."

"I hope that is the case." Booth told her sincerely.

"It is. I realize, now more than ever how wrong I was." Booth didn't respond so Bones got up from her seat and went and took a chair next to him. She considered reaching for his hand again but she knew he would pull away. "I am so sorry that I hurt you, that I accused you of wanting to rape me. I know, without a doubt that you would never, never hurt me."

"I'm sorry, but it's too late."

"You've always told me that it's never to late to change things. As long as we are alive we can change things."

"We're done here Dr. Brennan." Booth stood from his seat and moved away from her, towards the door. Bones stood, walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Please Booth, I need you, my friend." She was crying softly against his shoulder as she clung to him. "I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry." She mumbled over and over until Booth gently extracted her arms.

"I think you should leave. If you decide that you can't work with me under these new circumstances let me know." Booth opened the door to the conference room.

"I love you Booth. I love you so much." She cried.

"If you won't leave, I will." He couldn't take her tears anymore. Pulling the door open wide, he brushed past her and walked out of the conference, the sound of her cries following him back to his office.

Once he was in is office, he let out a breath that he wasn't aware that he was holding. Seeing her was harder then he anticipated. She looked like hell. She was still too thin, she was pale and her normally bright blue eyes were dull with dark circles encircling them. She said she was better, and maybe mentally she was but physically she didn't look any better and he suspected that he was the cause of it.

"Excuse me, Agent Booth, do you have a minute?"

"Come in Angela." She quietly walked in and sat in front of his desk.

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you. Is that all?"

"I would like a chance to explain myself." Booth nodded. "Bren is my best friend and I had to support her. At first, she didn't tell me what happened and neither did you. I continued to push her, like I always do, and eventually she came clean. I know you Booth and I didn't believe her accusations. I tried to convince her that she was wrong, to really think things through but you know how damn stubborn she is. She refused to believe anything other than what she thought was the truth so I did what any best friend would do. I supported her."

"So you told her that you believed her."

"No. Absolutely not. I just held her when she cried or just listened when she talked, cried or screamed but I never told her that I believed her."

"Thank you. I appreciate that."

"But what I did do is treat you how she wanted me to treat you. I only did it because I thought it was my job as her best friend but I shouldn't have. I should have continued to be your friend, talked to you and maybe, together we could have fixed her, fixed the two of you."

"We couldn't have fixed her Angela. She is or was beyond our help."

"She's miserable without you in her life ya know?" Booth shrugged. "She knows she was wrong. What she did to you, it's the biggest regret of her life. Can't you give her another chance?"

"It seems your back on her side again."

"I'm always on her side. She's my best friend and I want her to be happy. She's not happy not having you in her life. She needs you in her life Booth."

"I'm sorry Ange. I just can't."

"I always thought that you weren't scared of anything."

"I'm not scared Ange. I'm still hurt and I'm smart. I am not putting myself in a position of getting hurt again."

"I know you love her."

"I do but I can't be with her."

"So you're just going to walk away from her?"

"It's what is best for her and for me."

"But…"

"Angela, I don't want to have this conversation with you again. We all need to move on with our lives." Angela stood, defeated.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry and I hope that one day all of us can be friends again."

"Maybe one day." Booth mumbled softly.

* * *

"Come on and get some dinner with me." Angela begged her friend one night a few months later.

"I'm sorry Ange but I've got a lot of work to do." Bones said.

"What do you have to do that can't wait until Monday? We just closed the latest case."

"I just got these remains that need to be identified." She motioned to the table.

"How old are they Bren?"

"A few hundred years old."

"Then they can wait. You have to eat. Come to the Founding Fathers with me, eat a quick dinner and I promise that I will quit bugging you."

"I'm really not hungry."

"I'm not gong to leave you alone until you agree to go and you know how annoying I can be until I get what I want."

"Yes I know." Bones sighed and stood. She knew when she was beat. "Fine. Just dinner."

"That's all I'm asking."

As they walked to the restaurant Angela watched her friend out of the corner of her eye and Bones knew it. She just walked along, trying to act as if everything was fine, even though it was far from it. She had hoped Booth would change his mind and let her back into his life but he didn't. He only talked to her when it was work related and the few times that she had called him with non-emergent information about a case he simply said, "Thank you. Please email with that information", his voice cold, detached and professional. During an active case he came to the lab once a day, as he said he would for a briefing and during the briefing, he seemed to look right through her, although she knew that was impossible.

Maybe dinner with Angela was a good idea. Over the past three months her life consisted of getting up early, arriving at work just as the sun was coming up, stayed at work until long after the sun went down and she could barely keep her eyes open, and only ate if Angela remembered to feed her because she never remembered to eat on her own. Her weekends also consisted of working in limbo unless she was spending time with Parker, something that Booth and Rebecca still allowed her to do. Besides visiting with Parker and identifying bodies in Limbo, she had nothing to look forward to. She was depressed. She knew it, Angela knew it and Olivia knew it. Olivia wanted her to take medicine for the depression but Bones refused it. She knew the medicine wouldn't help her. Only Booth's forgiveness would help her feel better.

"Hmm. This place smells great." Angela commented when they walked inside the restaurant. "I am starving." The hostess walked up to them. "Two please." Angela said.

"Let me see what we have and I'll be right back." As the hostess walked away Bones' eyes began to wander around the restaurant, watching how everyone interacted with each other. When her gaze landed on a certain couple, holding hands across the table and laughing, she gasped.

"What's wrong sweetie?" Angela asked.

"Booth." She whispered. Angela turned and she saw the happy couple.

"Oh Bren, I'm sorry."

"He said that he was going to move on so I guess he did. I hope he's happy. He looks happy. Do you think he's happy Ange?"

"I can't tell."

"Okay ladies. I have a table. Follow me." Angela and Bones followed the hostess towards Booth's table and at the same time they both saw the empty table next to his.

"Ange." Bones whispered.

"Excuse me, do you have any other tables?" Angela asked.

"No I'm sorry. It's a Friday night and we are packed. This is it." Angela looked at her friend whose eyes were wide with terror but she nodded.

"Well isn't this a surprise Agent Booth." Angela said.

"Oh hey Ange." He answered, his gaze shifting between his date, former partner and Angela.

"Aren't you going to introduce us Seeley or am I going to have to do it myself?" The mystery woman asked.

"Sorry. Hannah, this is Angela Montenegro and Dr. Brennan, associates of mine. Angela, Dr. Brennan this is Hannah Burley, my girlfriend."


	15. Chapter 15

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

"I spent forty eight hours in jail because I wouldn't give up my source." Hannah told Booth. "Have you seen the inside of a jail cell?"

"Yeah. I have seen a few." Booth answered with a grin.

"I think that my next article should be on the condition of jail cells." Booth laughed and reached for Hannah's hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed it softly. "Sure, most people that are in jail deserve to be there but it doesn't mean that they should be subjected to horrible conditions."

"You continue to blow my mind Hannah."

"Is that a good thing?"

"It's a very good thing." Booth was about to go in for a kiss when he heard a very familiar voice.

"Well isn't this a surprise Agent Booth." He looked up and came face to face with Angela and Bones.

"Oh hey Ange." His gaze shifted between Hannah, Bones and Angela.

"Are you going to introduce us Seeley or am I going to have to do it myself?" Hannah asked. He saw Bones' eyes drift down to his and Hannah's joined hands. For an instant he considered removing his hand from Hannah's hand because he didn't want Bones to feel uncomfortable but he dismissed it as soon as it entered his mind. He liked holding Hannah's hand he really didn't care if Bones was uncomfortable or not.

"Sorry. This is Angela Montenegro and Dr. Brennan, associates of mine. Angela, Dr. Brennan this is Hannah Burley, my girlfriend." He watched as Angela's jaw dropped and utter devastation crossed Bones' face. Hannah pulled her hand away from his and stuck it out to Bones and Angela.

"I'm so glad to meet people that work with Seeley." Angela and Bones reluctantly took and shook Hannah's hand.

"You guys should join us." Hannah offered.

"No." Booth and Bones said at the same time and Hannah glanced at them both questioningly.

"This looks like a romantic dinner and we don't want to intrude." Angela explained. "Come on sweetie. Let them enjoy their dinner." Angela grabbed Bones by the elbow and led them to their table.

"Why didn't you want your friends joining us for dinner?" Hannah asked.

"They're not my friends." Booth told her. "They are consultants on some of my cases. They are not my friends." He repeated.

"It still wouldn't have hurt to let them eat with us." Hannah insisted.

"I've been at work all day so I don't want work invading my night with you." Hannah suspected there was a lot more going on between her date and those consultants at the next table. She saw the look on the doctor's face when Seeley told her that she was his girlfriend and Seeley's adamant reaction that they don't eat together but she decided to let it go, for now.

"Here's you dessert sir." The waiter set a piece of pie in front of Booth.

"My God, Seeley, how can you possibly have room for pie after that huge steak dinner you just ate?"

"There is always room for pie." He made a big show of putting a large bite in his mouth. "Mmmm. This is good. Wanna bite?"

"I think that I do." Hannah grabbed her fork and took an equally large bite. "Wow. You're right. This is really good." She cut herself another bite.

"Hey. This is my pie. If you want some you should order your own piece."

"No. I'll share yours. You don't need to eat a whole piece by yourself."

"Are you calling me fat?"

"Of course not." Booth laughed. Before Hannah could steal another bite of his pie, her phone beeped with a text message.

"I gotta go to work." She said sadly.

"Really?" Booth was clearly disappointed.

"I'm sorry. It can't be helped."

"Can I get the check please?" Booth asked their waitress when she walked by. Hannah had her phone out and was texting.

"I need to pee before I go." She told him after she sent her text message.

"I'm going to pay and I'll meet you at the door." There was no way he was sitting at the table next to Bones and Angela, alone.

"Okay." Hannah grabbed her purse and left the table. Booth followed Hannah's example and left the table with their coats. As he was at the register, paying their bill he glanced towards the back of the restaurant for Hannah and his eyes inadvertently scanned past the table where Bones and Angela were seated. Bones was watching him and their eyes met for a split second. In that second Booth saw how empty those blue eyes had become, He forced his eyes away from Bones' and focused them on the beautiful blonde walking towards him. "All set?" She asked.

"I'm ready if you are." Booth helped Hannah with her coat and then they walked outside. "Where should I drop you off at?"

"I'm going to take a cab."

"You don't want to be seen in an F.B.I. vehicle."

"Exactly."

"Will you come to my place when you're done?" He asked was he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to his chest. Hannah immediately wrapped her arms around her boyfriend's neck.

"It may be late."

"It doesn't matter. I just really want to wake up with you in the morning."

"How can a girl say no to that?"

"She shouldn't." Booth lowered his face to hers and they shared a slow, tender kiss until they could no longer breathe. "Be careful." He whispered as the broke their embrace.

"I always am."

"No you're not." He told her with a grin as he held open the cab door. "I'll see you soon." He made sure that the door was shut tight and he stood on the sidewalk until the cab was out of sight and then he turned to go to his SUV and he never saw that Bones was watching him from the window.

* * *

"Sweetie what in the hell are you doing?" Angela asked her friend when she found her staring out the window at the couple kissing.

"I was waiting for you."

"You were spying on Booth and Hannah weren't you?"

"I didn't mean to. I was waiting for you to finish in the bathroom and I was looking out the window and saw them." She turned to Angela with tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Come on. Let's get out of here." Angela took her friend's hand and led her out of the Founding Fathers.

"I could have had that." Bones said softly once they were outside.

"Had what?"

"The relationship that Hannah has with Booth. That could have been me. He used to look at me the way he looks at her."

"You can't give up on that relationship."

"He hates me Angela and I can't blame him. I blew my chance with him and not only will I never have an intimate relationship with him but we'll never again be friends." Angela stopped a cab and pulled Bones in with her and gave the cab driver's Bones' address. During the drive to her apartment Bones just stared out the window and shed silent tears.

Once the cab arrived at her apartment, Bones allowed Angela to lead her upstairs, place her on the couch without a reaction. Angela gave her a glass of wine but instead of drinking it she just stared at the red liquid. Angela had never seen her friend like this before, so miserable, so sad and heartbroken. She had hoped as time went on her friend would get better but she didn't. In fact Temperance seemed to be getting worse with everyday that passed and seeing Booth with Hannah didn't help her mental state. Angela desperately wanted to help her best friend but she didn't know what to do.

"Why am I here?" Bones suddenly asked, as if she just realized that she was home.

"It's your home sweetie."

"I need to get back to work." Bones placed her wine glass on the table and stood up.

"No you don't. You need to stay home, relax and get a good night sleep."

"I can't stay here Angela." Bones shouted at her friend.

"Sweetie I don't understand."

"I can't…I need to get the hell out of here."

"Bren…"

"He's everywhere."

"Who is everywhere?" Angela was very confused.

"Booth."

"He's not here. He hasn't been here in a very long time."

"I know that he is not here physically Angela and I don't need to be reminded that he hasn't been here in a long time. I am reminded of that every time I see this couch for example. I remember all of the times that we sat together eating, going over cases and the hours that we spent talking. Every time I walk into the kitchen I can see him sitting in the kitchen where we ate many dinners together. I haven't slept in my bed in months because we spent many nights sleeping with our arms around each other and that's where we made love before I left. Everything in this apartment reminds me what I could have had and how I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. Not only have I lost my partner but I've lost, my friend, the best lover that I have ever had. I've lost the only man that I have ever loved." She broke down and began to sob…again.

"Oh sweetie." Angela immediately was on the couch holding the sobbing woman in her arms.

"I…hate that…he is…so…damn…happy with…Hannah. It should be me. It was…me. I made…him that happy. I was…so happy…with him and I ruined it." Bones began taking deep breaths to calm herself down. "Look at what I have become Angela. I was fine being alone but Booth changed all of that for me. Because of my dependence on him, I allowed myself to get kidnapped and raped and subsequently my entire life spiraled out of control. I can hardy get out of bed anymore because I am overcome with sadness and I cry all the damn time. I can't seem to stop crying. When I look in the mirror I don't even recognize my own reflection and it's all because I fell in love with Booth."

"Maybe you need a fresh start Bren." Angela suggested. She considered reminding her that she didn't allow herself to be kidnapped or raped because she knew that her friend wouldn't listen to reason.

"What do you mean?"

"I think that you need to get away from the memories. Maybe if you get a new apartment where there are no memories of you and Booth everywhere you look it will help you move on."

"Maybe you're right." Bones mumbled as the wheels began to turn in her head.

* * *

Booth was sitting on the couch with the T.V. on, nursing a beer waiting for Hannah thinking of Bones, something her knew was wrong but he couldn't stop himself. Seeing her tonight at Founding Fathers really messed with his psyche. She looked like total hell. She lost a lot of weight. Her clothes were falling off of her which is probably why Angela forced her to go to dinner. She was pale and the only color on her face was the black circles under her eyes and he caused all of that. He walked away from her and now she was miserable. He once promised her that he would never betray her but he felt like he had by leaving her but the truth of the matter was she betrayed him and he got hurt. He shouldn't feel guilty about his actions but he does. It's just who he is; a man who feels guilty for doing what is best for him with the end result being the woman he loved, more than anything, becoming miserable and defeated.

He loved Bones and he assumed that there would be a part of him that always would but he was trying to move on with his life, trying to be happy again and he was trying to accomplish it with Hannah. A relationship with Hannah was the last thing he expected but he wasn't complaining. She wasn't anything like Bones and that's what intrigued him. She was blonde. She was a journalist. She owned a T.V. and she understood his pop culture references. Of course there were a few similarities to Bones like the fact that she was physically strong and she had a very strong personality. She had an opinion on most everything and she couldn't be swayed to change them and Booth got the biggest kick out of that. Over the past six weeks he has become happy again and he owed it all to his friend Camille. Booth smile to himself as he recalled at night about two months ago.

"_We need to talk Seeley." Cam told her friend as she handed him a beer. Booth had been hanging out a Cam's most every night when he wasn't with Parker. While Cam and Michelle loved his company his constant presence was causing mother and daughter to miss their alone time not to mention the fact that he was putting a damper on Cam's relationship with Paul. _

"_I feel like a kid that's in trouble." Booth commented as he twisted the cap off of his beer. _

"_You know Michelle and I love hanging out with you. Even Paul enjoys your company as well." Cam began._

"_But?" _

"_But you need to get a life and quit hanging out with me, my daughter and my boyfriend."_

"_I'm sorry Cam. I didn't realize that I wasn't welcome." _

"_Knock it off Seeley." _

"_Knock what of Camille?" _

"_Quit feeling sorry for yourself. I won't be a part of your pity party."_

"_I have no one else." Booth admitted softly. "I've lost all of my friends." _

"_Not all of them. You still have me."_

"_I can't be alone Cam. When I am by myself I'm alone and when I'm alone think about everything I've lost, all my friends and her. I can't stop thinking about her and I need to stop thinking about her. Every time I think about her I become miserable. I miss her so damn much Cam." _

"_Then call her or go see her."_

"_I can't. You didn't let me finish. I miss her as much as I am pissed her. I alternate being missing her so much that I physically ache and being so angry at her that I feel like my head is going to explode. I'm not ready to call or see her. I'm not ready to become again what we once were." _

"_Then move on. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and make new friends, find a girlfriend for God's sake." _

"_It's not that easy." He muttered. "I'm not in college anymore. My work and my kid make it practically impossible to meet new people."_

"_Oh for crying out loud Seeley. There are so many ways to meet new people like the internet or socials."_

"_Oh my God. Now that just makes me sound pathetic." _

"_A lot of people meet new people and make friends over the internet and at some of these socials."_

"_Not happening Cam." _

"_Okay fine. On Friday night you are coming out with me, Paul and some of our friends."_

"_Cam, I don't want you to set me up."_

"_I am not setting you up. You need to get out among people again. You're a shell of the man you used to be Seeley and I hate seeing you like this. I miss my friend so please come out with us on Friday and rejoin society." _

"_I feel so lost."_

"_You've been betrayed by most everyone you trusted."_

"_Not by you. You stuck by me, supported me and defended me. I don't think that I ever thanked you for that Cam." _

"_You don't have to thank me. We are friends and I know who you are. I will always defend you. I can understand in Dr. Brennan's state of mind why she did what she did but that doesn't mean that I agree with it. Now on the other hand Hodgins, Angela and the intern's reaction is something I find unacceptable. I am furious and disgusted by how they treated you. They are very, very smart people and they should have known better. Hell, I am all for being loyal to your friends but their loyalty to Dr. Brennan was over the top and in the end, you got hurt and for that I am truly sorry." Booth knew Cam was truly his friend, not that he ever doubted it but their conversation tonight solidified his belief in his friend._

"_All right, I'll go out with you and Paul." Booth finally gave in. He knew that Cam was right. He had to start living among people again, make new friends and maybe one day, he would feel normal again. _

Three days later on a Friday night, Booth returned to Cam's place feeling like the new kid on his first day of school. Cam had decided to have a casual get together at her house with appetizers, wine and music. Since Booth had no idea what in the hell one wore to one of these types of gatherings he changed his clothes five times before he ended up in jeans and a casual dress shirt. He felt like such a girl, worrying about what he was wearing but in the end he knew he looked good.

As it turned out Booth had a good time. He met new people, men and women from all walks of life; doctors, nurses, lawyers and there was one journalist, Hannah. Cam and Hannah met when Hannah was doing an article on Medical Examiners in D.C. and Cam was one of the Medical Examiners that she interviewed and they immediately hit it off. Booth spent a lot of time talking to Hannah and he really enjoyed her company and conversation. He went to Cam's party not expecting to make any real connections but he connected with Hannah and he walked with her phone number.

Two days later Booth and Hannah had their first date and things have been going strong between them ever since. They always had a great time together no matter if they were having dinner, dancing, hiking or watching a game on T.V. Hannah was a huge sports fan and Booth loved it. After dating for a month the new couple made love and it was great. It had been so long since Booth had been with a woman and being with Hannah felt right.

Booth felt like for the first time in a very long time things in his life were going the way that they should. There had been a few times, in the beginning of his relationship with Hannah that he found himself comparing Hannah to Bones but he quickly put a stop to that. He moved on and he wanted his relationship to with Hannah to work. Bones is no longer a part of his life because of a choice that he willingly made and right now, the only woman he cared for and wanted a relationship with was Hannah.

Booth was pulled out of his thoughts when there was a knock at his door. With a smile he went and opened the door. His smile grew larger when he saw Hannah waiting on the other side. He pulled her inside his apartment, into his arms and kissed her. "Wow." Hannah whispered when they finally broke apart. "Now that's what I call a greeting."

"How was work?" Booth asked his girlfriend as he led her to the couch. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"A beer would be great."

"Coming right up. Anything else? Are you hungry?" He called to her from the kitchen.

"Just a beer." He grabbed two beers and returned to the living room, handing one to Hannah and keeping one for himself.

"How was work?" Booth slung an arm across Hannah's shoulder and she snuggled up against him.

"It was work."

"You're not going to tell you what you've been up too are you?"

"Nope. You're going to have to wait and read my byline."

"What can I do to convince you otherwise?"

"I cannot be convinced otherwise."

"Oh really?" Booth adjusted his body so he was facing Hannah.

"Really. I am one tough cookie." He slipped a hand under her shirt and began to gently stroke her stomach while applying gentle kisses to her neck, eliciting a small moan from her.

"What about now? How tough are you now?" He mumbled against her neck.

"Still tough." She breathed through closed eyes.

"Well I've got other tricks up my sleeve." His hand that was under her shirt traveled higher until he was able to cup a breast and tweak a hard nipple.

"That feels really nice."

"I'll continue if you tell me what I want to hear."

"Not going to happen." With her free hand, she reached down and cupped his erection that was straining through his pants.

"You play dirty." He groaned.

"You have no idea how dirty I can play." Booth groaned again with desire, grabbed their beers from their hands and set them on the table before they were spilled and then he lifted her into his arms and carried her into his bedroom where he continued to try and make her talk. He never succeeded but he sure had fun trying.

_**Two weeks later…**_

"I will accept your notes in my office by the end of business today so I can give them to Carolyn." Booth said to the squints at the daily briefing that he now had at The Jeffersonian. "Any questions?" Everyone shook their heads. "Thank you and have a nice day." Booth picked up his papers and walked out of the lounge.

As soon as Booth was out of site, Bones grabbed all of her stuff and quickly disappeared into her office, where she spent most of her time anymore. During the briefing she didn't speak; she let everyone else speak for her. "Damn. I hate all of this formality." Hodgins mumbled as he gathered up his stuff. "Talk about a hostile working environment."

"You've got no one to blame for this situation but yourself Dr. Hodgins." Cam told him.

"Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?" Angela piped up.

"It means that everything was fine here a few years ago. We had a good thing going here but when Booth needed a friend you weren't there for him so all of this hostility is your fault. You…" Cam pointed her finger at both Hodgins and Angela. "Both of you ruined all of this."

"It's not like we tweeted that he actually had a rape fetish. We didn't tell anyone."

"All Booth needed was for you to tell him that you believed him, believed in him. If you would have just done that, let him know that then nothing would have changed. Wait that's not true, things would have changed." Cam took a deep breath. She had been wanting to confront her employees for a while and it felt good to get her feelings off her chest. "After what Dr. Brennan accused Booth of nothing could stay the same but if Booth would have had as much support as you gave Dr. Brennan then I think that we could have worked everything out and returned to a somewhat normal working relationship but instead we are left with this monstrosity of a working relationship. We aren't working at our normal potential. Sure, we still solve cases but it takes us longer then it used to. We aren't the crack team that we used to be and because of that do you know what that's going to cause? Do you know who is going to suffer?" Angela and Hodgins didn't respond so Cam continued. "The ones that will suffer will be the victims because one time, we are going to miss something and someone is going to get away with murder. You guys may be great at your jobs but you aren't so great at being a friend." With that being said Cam turned and walked away leaving Jack and Angela alone with their guilt.

* * *

"I will be there in six weeks for the start of the next semester." Bones said into the telephone. "Yes I will email you the lesson plans for approval…At one point prior to the semester starting I will be in town because I'm going to have to procure a residence and once I have the date finalized I will contact you and we can meet then for my orientation then. I will email when I confirm my travel plans…Yes I am looking forward to working with you as well Professor…Thank you for the opportunity." Bones slowly hung up the phone and looked around her office.

A few weeks ago Angela suggested that she make a fresh start. She was sure that Angela meant that she just find a new apartment so she could get away from some of her memories of Booth in her house. After she considered the thought for an hour or so she thought that it was a good idea except that she knew that as long as she remained in Washington D.C. she would never be able to move on with her life especially knowing that Booth had fallen in love with another woman and seeing him now at work, knowing how happy he was without her was just too hard for her.

She never thought that she was the type of woman who would move to a different state because of a failed relationship but she had never had a relationship before like she had with Booth. He was the most important person in her life. He as her best friend, the one person who knew everything about her; the good, the bad and the ugly, more bad and ugly then good, that's for sure and the thing that continued to amaze her was he loved her in spite of all the bad about her. She had never had a friend or lover like him before and she knew she never would again. She took a chance, she opened herself up to him, she gave him her heart (figuratively), he gave her his heart, she loved him with everything she had and she knew, without a doubt that he loved her in return with all that he had and she ruined it.

Stanford was constantly emailing her with job offers, guest lecture in their forensic anthropology program and they have offered her permanent lecture positions, all of which she has turned down until now. The day after her conversation with Angela about getting a fresh start Bones opened her email to find another request from Stanford. This time they were asking her to head their forensic anthropology department. Had she gotten that email a week ago, a month ago or even a year ago she wouldn't have even given the offer a single thought but now, considering the current state of her life the email from Stanford was the answer to all of her questions.

Temperance Brennan was confident in her decision to go and work at Stanford. She knew that moving away from Washington D.C. was the best thing for her; even Olivia, her therapist was convinced that a move was the best thing for her. The only thing that she was regretting about her choice was leaving Angela and Parker behind. She knew that Angela would be devastated but with time she would understand and support her friend. Now Parker on the other hand, she had no idea how he would take her news. She assumed that he would be angry, hurt and heartbroken. Besides the fact that Parker was her only link to Booth she had really enjoyed the time that they spent together. Sometimes she felt foolish being friends with a child but if she was honest with herself, she treasured her friendship with Parker and she knew she would miss him terribly.

As she began to type her letter of resignation to Cam, she tried to work out in her head how she was going to break her best friend and Parker's heart and by the end of the letter the only thing she determined was that there was no easy way to do it.

_So sorry for the delay in updating. Between work and the holiday prep, things have been crazy. I promise to try and do a better job in updating more frequently. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday. Thanks so much for continuing to read. _


	16. Chapter 16

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

"What's going on sweetie?" Angela was surprised to get a phone call from her best friend, inviting her over, something she hasn't done in months so Angela knew something serious was going on.

"I have taken your advice." Bones told her.

"That's a first. I have given you a lot of advice over the years. So what piece of advice did you take?"

"I am getting a fresh start."

"You got another apartment?"

"I did."

"I can't wait to see it. We can have so much fun moving you in and decorating. I can't wait to see it. Where is it?"

"California."

"California Avenue?"

"No Angela. The state of California." Angela shook her head.

"When I said fresh start I meant a new apartment here in town, not clear across the country. You can't go to California." Tears filled Angela's eyes.

"I've already made a commitment. I can't go back on my word."

"You committed to an apartment? Big deal. That's easy to get out of."

"I didn't commit to an apartment. I committed to a job at Stanford."

"What?" Angela asked in disbelief as tears fell from her eyes.

"I was offered a job running the anthropology department at Stanford University. It's a wonderful program and I am honored that they chose me to run it. It was an opportunity that I could not turn down."

"Bullshit Bren." Angela shouted. "You're running away."

"I can't stay here Angela." Bones shouted back.

"Yes you can. You have a great job, you have friends, your dad is here and me. If you leave D.C. then you are leaving me."

"I used to have a great job but it's not what it used to be. I used to live for going to work and now, I don't want to go to work anymore. My dad is coming to California with me and as far as friends, you and Hodgins are the only friends that I have left. I hate the fact that I will be leaving you behind but I have to go."

"Just admit that you are leaving because Booth has a girlfriend and you can't handle it." Angela accused angrily.

"Booth is part of the reason that I made the decision to take the job at Stanford."

"He's not part of the reason. He is the entire reason."

"Seeing Booth, being around him, it's just too hard and even though it's not logical not seeing him is even harder. I have to get away from everything Booth, which means this city. I hate feeling the way I do, I hate feeling so sad and I know that if I continue to stay here I'm always going to feel this way and I want the pain to stop Angela and leaving everything behind that reminds me of him and what we have is the only way to do it."

"I just don't understand why you have to move thousands of miles away to get away from Booth when you could move to Virginia."

"Yes you do." Bones sat next to Angela on the couch and pulled her friend into her arms and held her while she sobbed. "Knowing that I am leaving you behind was the hardest part of my decision. You are my best friend. I hope you know that." Bones whispered.

"I understand why you are leaving but it doesn't mean that I like it. I'm going to miss you so damn much." Angela sniffed.

"Just because I am leaving that doesn't mean that we have to stop being friends does it?"

"Of course not Bren. We will always be friends."

"Do you promise?"

"Of course I promise." Angela hugged her friend tightly. "Now I have an excuse to go to California."

"Thanks Ange."

"When are you going to tell Booth?"

"I'm not."

"Don't you think you should?"

"No I don't."

"Sweetie you and Booth have a relationship. He deserves to hear it from you."

"We had a relationship. We don't have one anymore. He won't care that I'm leaving. He has Hannah now."

"Sweetie you and Booth have a working relationship. He deserves to hear it from you that your working relationship is being terminated."

"I'm giving Cam my letter of resignation this afternoon and I'm picking Parker up from school today so I can tell him and I 'm sure that one of them will tell him and if it doesn't happen then I will tell him."

"Parker is going to be heartbroken." Angela commented.

"As am I. I really do love Parker and leaving him will be as hard as leaving you. He is young and he probably won't understand. I just hope that he isn't angry with me.'

"He probably will be angry Bren but he's resilient and he will eventually get over it."

"As hard as this is, leaving this life behind to start a new one I know that it's the right thing to do."

* * *

"Is this what I think it is?" Cam asked as Bones handed her an envelope.

"If you think that it's my letter of resignation then you are correct."

"That's what I thought."

"You don't seem surprised."

"I'm not. I had a feeling that this was coming. You're work has been declining over the past few months. I could see that you lost your passion for your work. Your heart just wasn't in it anymore and it showed in your performance."

"I have been getting my work done and there is nothing wrong with my results." Bones said defensively.

"You're results have adequate but not timely at all and I can tell that you just don't want to be here anymore."

"I will be leaving in one month. That should be an adequate amount of time to find my replacement."

"I appreciate that."

"I have a recommendation for a replacement if you're interested."

"Of course I'm interested."

"I would recommend Clark Edison. He is very focused and he is very good at his job."

"Thank you Dr. Brennan. I will keep that in mind." Cam told her.

"If I can be of any assistance in hiring my replacement please let me know."

"I will do that." Not sure what else to say Bones left Cam's office and went to her own to get her purse.

"Is it true?" Hodgins asked from her office door.

"Is what true?" Bones asked, although she knew what he was referring to.

"You're leaving and moving to California."

"Yes. That's true."

"Good luck. I'm really going to miss you."

"Uhhh…thank you Dr. Hodgins." Bones expected him to beg her to stay, like Angela did. She did not expect his support so she was surprised by it.

* * *

"Thank you so much for the ice cream Bones." Parker said.

"You are very welcome."

"I wish that can pick me up everyday." Parker took a big lick of his ice cream cone. "Why did you pick me up anyway?"

"I have something very important to talk to you about, something that can't wait and since you are with your dad this weekend your mom allowed me to pick you up so we can talk."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Let's go over to the picnic table."

"Okay." Parker took her hand and they walked over to the picnic table, away from everyone. "So what do you want to talk about?"

"What I have to tell you is going to make you very sad and you will probably be angry." Bones began.

"Are you dying?"

"No Parker. I am not dying. I am perfectly healthy."

"Then what's going to make me mad and sad?"

"I got another job and I'm going to have to move."

"You're not going to work with daddy anymore?" He looked devastated.

"No I'm not."

"Where are you going to work?"

"At a college, Stanford."

"Where is that?"

"It's in California." Tears immediately filled Parker's eyes.

"That's really far away." He mumbled as his tears began to fall.

"Yes it is." Parker surprised Bones by moving from his seat at the picnic table over next to her and he wrapped his arms around her and he buried his face in her chest.

"Please Bones…don't go to California."

"Parker…I have to."

"Why?"

"I gave them my word. I promised them that I would work for them."

"Un-promise."

"I can't. You know how important it is to keep promises."

"Is my dad going with you?"

"No Parker. He is not." Parker was silent while he wiped his tears away "I am so sorry Parker." She reached out in an attempt to touch him and comfort him but he pulled away from her touch. "Please, don't be angry." Bones begged.

"You're moving away because you and my dad aren't friends anymore aren't you?" Bones didn't believe in lying to children. Booth once told her that it was okay to lie to children, especially at Christmas. Since it wasn't Christmas Bones knew that she had to tell Parker the truth.

"It's a big part of the reason."

"Why aren't you and daddy friends anymore? What did he do?"

"Your father didn't do anything Parker."

"So it was you?"

"Yes. It was me."

"What did you do?" Bones sighed. She wasn't sure how much she should tell him. "Bones what did you do?" She decided to vaguely tell him what she could.

"Do you remember when I went away on my trip a couple of years ago?"

"Is that the trip where you got kidnapped?" Bones looked at him in surprise. She didn't know that he knew.

"That is correct. How did you know that I was kidnapped?"

"Daddy told me."

"What did he tell you?"

"He told me that some bad men took you and did some very bad things to you."

"That is true. Those men, they did some very bad things to me and because of that my brain got messed up and I became confused. I was scared, angry, and sad and I didn't trust anyone, not even your father. I accused your father of some very horrible and untrue things and when I did that I really hurt him."

"What did you accuse him of?" Parker asked softly.

"That's between me and your father." She would never tell him what she accused his father of. She was ashamed and it's something that Parker should never know.

"You should tell him that you are sorry and then you can be friends again and not move." Everything was simple to Parker and Bones wished that everything really was that simple.

"I did say that I'm sorry but what I did Parker, it's something that sorry won't fix."

"That's not true. Dad has always told me that sorry can make everything better."

"I wish that was true but it's not. With adults, sometimes things are much more difficult and in my case, saying that I'm sorry, it can't fix what I have done."

"I want to go home please." Parker mumbled.

"Please don't be angry with me." Bones had tears in her eyes.

"Would you please take me home?"

"Of course. If that's what you want."

"I want to go home Bones."

"Okay. Let's go." Parker was out of his seat and walking towards the car before Bones could react. She quickly followed him with tears rolling down her face.

* * *

"What's wrong Bub?" Booth asked his son. He arrived at his ex's house to pick Parker up for their weekend together and he was informed that Parker had been in his room crying since his visit with Bones.

"Go away." Parker mumbled into his pillow.

"No I'm not going away." Booth sat next to his son on his bed. "Why do you want me to go away? This is our weekend together and I've got big plans for us."

"Because I'm mad at you."

"What the heck did I do?" Parker rolled over on his back.

"Bones is moving away and it's all your fault." Booth was shocked. This was news to him.

"What are you talking about?"

"Bones is moving to California."

"She is?" Parker nodded. "Why is it my fault?"

"She is moving because you guys aren't friends."

"I'm sure that's not why she is moving. She probably got a job that she really wanted." Parker shook his head.

"No. She told me that she was moving because you guys aren't friends anymore. She said sorry to you. Why can't you just be friends?"

"It's complicated."

"No it's not." Parker shouted.

"Don't yell at me."

"Every night when I say my bedtime prayers I prayed that you and Bones would get married and now that's never going to happen because she's moving to California." Booth just got his second shock of the night. He never knew that Parker wanted him and Bones to get married.

"Parker God doesn't always our prayers they way we want Him to. Maybe His plan is for me to marry someone else."

"Like Hannah?" Parker hadn't met Hannah yet but he was aware of his father's relationship with her. Booth never hid anything from his son.

"Maybe Hannah is the woman that I am supposed to marry but it's too soon to know. My relationship with Hannah has just started and we are just getting to know each other."

"I hate Hannah. I don't want you to marry her."

"You don't even know Hannah. How can you hate her?"

"I just do."

"Come one Bub. Let's go, grab some dinner and we'll talk some more and maybe, if you want sometime this weekend you and Hannah can meet."

"No. I don't want to meet her and I don't to go to your house either."

"Come on Parks."

"No. I'm not going." Parker got up and walked out of his room, leaving his father alone. Sighing Booth followed him out to the living room where Parker turned on The Disney Channel.

"If you change your mind call me and I'll come and get you."

"I won't." That boy was as stubborn as his father was. Booth leaned down and kissed Parker's head.

"I love you and I'll call you later." Parker never took his eyes off the television so Booth left him alone.

After talking with Rebecca, making sure that she didn't have any plans that were now ruined because of Parker's refusal he was on his way to the lab to confront Bones, if she was there. According to Cam, Bones still spent most of her free time at the lab, either in her office or in limbo so he was pretty sure that he would find her in one of those two places. If she wasn't at the lab then he figured that she was at home and if that was the case then he would have to wait until Monday to confront her because there was no way that he was going to her apartment. It would have been too hard because there were so many memories, both good and bad.

"Good evening Agent Booth." The security guard greeted.

"Hey Ron. How are you?"

"I'm good. What brings you in tonight? It's been a long time since you have been here this time of night. Do you have a case?"

"No. I just need to talk to Dr. Brennan. Is she here?" Ron had known Booth since he started working with The Jeffersonian and Booth had always referred to his partner as Bones so to hear him calling her Dr. Brennan was weird for the security guard.

"Actually she is here. She's in her office, packing." Ron shook his head. "I can't believe that she is leaving. This place won't be the same without her."

"It's going to be different." Booth agreed. "I'll see you later Ron." Ron waved as Booth walked towards Bones' office.

Before he actually made it to her office Bones had stepped out and came face to face with Booth. At first she just stood there and stared at him and then she blinked a few times, as if she was trying to convince herself that he was really there. "Booth what are you doing here?" She finally asked.

"I need to talk to you. Can we go in your office?"

"Uhh yeah. Sure." She assumed he was there because Parker told him her news.

"So you're leaving The Jeffersonian?" Booth stated as soon as her office door shut.

"Yes I am. I was offered a position as head of Stanford's anthropology department."

"So you're leaving because of me?" Bones was taken aback by that statement.

"No. I'm taking that position because it's best for me."

"Bullshit Bones." His nickname for her just slipped out. "Stop lying to me. You told Parker that you were leaving because we aren't friends anymore." He seethed. "And now, Parker is pissed as hell at me; blaming me that someone he loves is leaving him."

"I…I didn't want that to happen."

"What did you say to him?"

"He asked me, point blank if I took the job because we aren't friends anymore and I couldn't lie to him Booth. I don't believe in lying to children so I told him the truth."

"What did you tell him?" Booth asked again through clenched teeth.

"A big factor in taking the job was our failed relationship so yes, I told Parker that."

"All you think of is yourself. How could you not realize that Parker would blame me for you leaving?"

"I didn't think that he would. I'm sorry Booth. I just wanted to be honest with Parker."

"You know Parker and you knew damn well how he would react. Why are you using my kid?" Tears filled his eyes.

"I'm not using him. I love Parker."

"And we both know how you treat someone you claim to love."

"That's mean Booth. I never wanted to hurt you and I don't want to hurt Parker."

"Well you did. You hurt both of us and know you're crying to Parker about the fact you are leaving him because of me, because we aren't friends anymore. Are you hoping that Parker's tears will convince me to forgive you?"

"Of course not. I would never do that."

"You have no idea what in the hell you started."

"I didn't start anything." She shouted as her tears began to fall. "Parker asked me a question and I answered him honestly. The fact that you can no longer stand to be in the same room with me is a big part of why I am leaving. I used to think that I was strong; that I could handle anything but I was very wrong. I can't handle not having you in my life anymore. I hate coming into work, I hate everything about this damn city anymore because it's filled with memories of when you were in my life as my friend and partner. I'm sad all of the time, I'm always crying and I just want to be happy again and I can't do that here, especially now that you have Hannah."

"What the hell does Hannah have to do with your decision to leave?"

"I love you Booth and seeing you with another woman, knowing that you're happy with someone other then me, I can't handle that so I'm leaving."

"I…"

"You should be happy that I'm leaving. You finally got what you wanted, me out of your life." She walked away from him, over to her desk for a tissue so she could blow her nose. "If it's okay with you I would like to call Parker and attempt to make him understand that you are not to blame for me leaving."

"I don't think that I want you continuing to remain in contact with him."

"Please don't take Parker away from me. Please." She begged him.

"Fine. I won't but you need to know that I'm doing it for him and not you."

"Thank you. You have no idea what that means to me."

"When are you leaving?"

"Four weeks." Booth nodded and then walked out of her office and Bones collapsed on her couch and sobbed for everything that she has lost.

* * *

"Would you care to explain to me why your son is so heartbroken because a consultant that you work with is moving to California? I'm sure that he is too young to be reading her books so what's the story?" Hannah asked him a few days later. She knew why Parker hadn't spent the weekend with his father. Booth couldn't lie to his girlfriend but he didn't' give very specific details.

"It's a long, complicated story Hannah."

"Does it have anything to do with the fact that you and Dr. Brennan were once more than F.B.I agent and consultant?" Booth jerked his head up in surprise.

"What are you talking about?"

"This." Hannah tossed him a folder and when Booth opened it he found all of the same articles about his former partnership that he kept himself.

"What…where did you get this?"

"I'm a reporter Seeley and I do research when there is a story and I knew that there was a story about you and your consultants." Consultants was said with air quotes. "And I was right. There was a story. You and Dr. Brennan were partners with the best solve rate in F.B.I. history. Why did your partnership dissolve?"

"It just didn't work out." Booth mumbled as he flipped through the articles.

"You two were more than partners, weren't you?" Hannah didn't sound angry.

"I…I...we…how did you know? I'm sure you didn't find that information on Bing or Google."

"I knew she was in love with you the day I met her. I saw the way her face fell when you introduced me as your girlfriend; she looked devastated and we were holding hands and she couldn't take her eyes off of them."

"You are a really good reporter."

"I need you to be honest with me Seeley. Are you still in love with her?"

"No. Not anymore." He hoped he was being honest with her. He didn't think that he was in love with Bones anymore. Whenever he and Hannah were together he never thought of her but sometimes, late at night when he was alone in his bed his mind would drift to Bones but that didn't mean that he was still in love with her or at least he hoped.

"What happened between you two?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Does it have anything to do with her kidnapping?"

"Hannah, please, I don't want to talk about it. What happened is in the past and it has nothing to do with us."

"I think you're wrong. It does have to do with us, especially since you have been grumpy as hell since you found out that she was leaving." Hannah pointed out.

"I'm grumpy because my son is pissed off at me, not because she is leaving." Hannah just stared at him. "Things changed after her kidnapping. She had trouble dealing with what happened and it just didn't work out."

"I would buy that if you two had just stopped dating but you stopped being partners so something major happened, something that you find unforgivable and the fact that you are so angry over it, my guess would be that it was on her end."

"Just drop it Hannah." Booth shouted. "I don't want to talk about it." Booth sighed. "Dammit, I'm sorry sweetheart. It's just Bones and I… it's a sore subject."

"This is the last thing I am going to say on the subject. You need to forgive her." Booth looked at his girlfriend in shock. "Now forgiving her doesn't mean that all is well and good but I know you well enough to know that not forgiving her is tearing you up inside and if you forgive her, you'll feel better. Holding onto that anger, it's just going to continue to eat you up inside and it could eventually destroy you."

"I don't want to forgive her. What she did…I can't."

"Can you let her leave with the possibility of never seeing her again unforgiven?"

"I'll think about." He mumbled as he pulled Hannah into his arms and kissed her. "How did I get so lucky to find you?"

"We'll never know."

"I wasn't purposefully keeping my past with Dr. Brennan a secret from you. It's just something that I don't like to talk about."

"I understand. You could have lied to me when I brought it up but you didn't and I appreciate it."

"I'm sorry." Again, he slowly and sensually kissed her.

"I guess that you will just have to make it up to me." Hannah mumbled as Booth placed soft kisses on her neck.

"Any ideas on how I can do that?" Hannah pushed Booth up and pulled her shirt off.

"I think you can come up some ideas on your own." Booth grinned.

"I think I can." He said huskily before he attached his mouth to his girlfriend's breast.

* * *

The next four weeks flew by for everyone. Whenever she was not working, Bones was packing up her apartment and memories of a once joyful life. Two weeks before she left they caught a murder case involving a victim with gang affiliations. Bones worked tirelessly to bring justice to the victim and when she got close the death threats started. She was assigned a F.B.I. agent to keep her safe, something that was not new to her but what was new was the agent was not Booth. During the investigation and subsequent death threats Booth never asked her if she was okay and she then knew that her decision to leave was the right one.

The morning she left Angela and Hodgins drove her to the airport and they were met by Parker. Rebecca was supposed to bring him to say goodbye but she was called into work so that left Booth to bring him, a task he wasn't happy with. He and Hannah stood away from everyone while Parker cried and begged her to stay. Bones maintained her composure as Angela cried but as soon as she saw Parker's tears she crumpled. She hugged him tightly, promising him that they will keep in touch, telling him how much he will be missed and how much she loved him. When she had to go to the area to board her plane Angela had to pry Parker away from her and with tears streaming down her face she hugged, Angela, Hodgins and Parker once more and then walked away to her new life.

From a distance he watched Bones walk away, knowing this may be the last time that he ever saw her and he knew what he had to do. "Will you watch him?" He asked Hannah and she nodded with a smile.

"Where are you going daddy?" Parker sniffed.

"I have to tell Bones something. I'll be right back." Parker nodded and released his father's hand.

"Angela what airline is she flying out of?" Booth asked

"US AIR."

"Is it a direct flight or does she have a layover?"

"Direct flight."

"Thanks." In an instant Booth was at the security check point, flashing his badge and being ushered through. He stopped at the departure/arrival board and quickly found her flight and gate number and he raced towards it. He was pushing his luck and he would be lucky if he made it before the flight boarded.

Just as he rounded the corner he saw her starting to head down the walkway to the plane. "BONES." He shouted. He saw her freeze and then slowly turn around, eyes red, swollen and wide open in shock. Now that he stopped her he walked over to her as she turned around and came to him. They met in the middle. "Before you go there is something that I need to tell you."

Bones was experiencing déjà vu. This is practically what happened at the airport before she went on that disastrous dig. Her heart began to pound furiously in anticipation of what he had to say. She hoped that maybe he was going to beg her to stay so they could have another chance and if that were the case she would walk away from that plane and Stanford without a second thought. "What is it Booth?" She asked nervously.

"You need to know that I forgive you."

"Oh Booth." Before he could react she had thrown her arms around his neck. "Thank you. Thank you." She mumbled. Slowly, he pulled her arms off of him.

"Listen. I really do forgive you. I understand had it not been for what you went through you never would have accused me of wanting to rape you."

"No I wouldn't have."

"I know that you weren't yourself and that is why I forgive you."

"I promise I will never hurt you like that again. Thank you for giving me another chance."

"I'm not giving you another chance. I am forgiving you but the damage has been done. I can't be friends with you. Maybe one day we can be friends but not now."

"But I thought…"

"I know but I can't." Bones felt her world crash around her, again.

"I understand. Thank you Booth for forgiving me."

"I really do." He reached in his pocket and handed her his handkerchief. "Good luck at Stanford."

"Miss, you have to board now." The ticket collector called to Bones.

"I have to go." She attempted to return his handkerchief but he refused it.

"Keep it."

"Thank you." She quickly kissed him on the cheek. "I'm so sorry, for everything." She whispered and then she walked away with her tears falling.

As Booth watched her go he felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders only to be replaced with an emptiness inside. She was his best friend, partner, constant companion, lover, and the woman he loved more then anything for years and regardless of what had happened between them, they were still linked. He told Hannah that he was no longer in love with her but he knew that there would always be a part of him that would be in love with her. She was after all, his first true love.

_**Don't worry. It's not over.**_


	17. Chapter 17

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

Without opening his eyes Booth untangled himself from Hannah's arms and he reached blindly for his ringing cell phone. "Lo?" He answered sleepily.

"Dad, mom and I have been outside your door knocking for five minutes."

"I'm sorry Parks. I forgot to set my alarm. I'll be out in a minute." He ended his call and climbed out of bed.

"What's going on?" Hannah mumbled from the bed as Booth slipped on his boxers and sweat pants from the night before that was lying on the floor.

"Parker's here." Booth gave Hannah a quick kiss. "Get some sleep babe. I know you must be tired." With a wink he left their bedroom and went to answer the door.

"Finally." Parker greeted as he walked past his father.

"Sorry bub. I overslept."

"He's in one of his moods." Rebecca warned as she handed Booth Parker's bag.

"Great. This will be fun." Parker seemed to have been in one of his moods for months, ever since Bones left. Booth knew Parker was still heartbroken that Bones left and his attitude showed it everyday. Booth told Rebecca goodbye and then he turned around to face his grumpy son. "You hungry?"

"No. I ate before I got here."

"Well I need some coffee." Booth needed caffeine. He was exhausted. He and Hannah had a very, very late celebrating. Booth smiled as he remembered the reason for the celebration.

"_Hannah, will you marry me?" Booth slowly opened the box that contained the engagement ring he picked out. _

"_Seeley, it's beautiful." Hannah whispered. _

"_I…I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you so please marry me?" Booth's heart was pounding in nervous excitement. _

"_Yes Seeley. I will marry you." With a smile and a shaking hand, Booth slipped the engagement ring on the left hand of fiancé and then he kissed her passionately. "Let's go home and celebrate." Hannah whispered breathlessly when Booth broke the kiss so they could breathe. _

"_Now that sounds like a plan." _

"Dad, will you take me to California to visit Bones?" Parker asked Booth when he sat down on the couch next to his son.

"No I won't."

"I want to go."

"Parker, it's not like you're asking me to drive you up the road. You are asking me to take you clear across the country and it's not happening."

"Disneyland is in California and Bones said that if I visit she will take me to Disneyland." Booth saw red. He couldn't believe that Bones was bribing his kid with trips to Disneyland.

"It's not happening Parker so get that idea out of your head."

"Come on Dad. Me, you and Bones at Disneyland. It will be so much fun."

"Enough Parker. Drop it." Booth growled.

"I'm going to my room."

"Good and maybe when you come out you won't be so grumpy." Booth said to his son as he stormed off to his room.

Every since Bones left Parker has been throwing major attitude around Hannah and it just increased once she moved in. He was constantly talking about Bones, relaying their phone conversations and talking about things that they all did together whenever Hannah was around and it made for an uncomfortable situation. On multiple occasions he had grounded Parker when he wouldn't knock it off but it didn't seem to work. It just seemed to make things worse. He knew that Parker didn't like the fact that Hannah was his girlfriend and he thought that after some time he would eventually get over it but as of yet that still has not happened and Booth had a gut feeling that he was going to react badly when he found out about the engagement.

After spending the morning apart Booth and Parker spent the afternoon at the park, after he apologized to his father for his attitude, while Hannah was at work. When they were alone, Parker was almost his normal, happy-go-lucky kid and Booth really enjoyed spending time with him. They ate bad, they laughed and they had fun. They were both wearing identical smiles when they returned to the apartment late in the afternoon. It was during their dinner of pizza that things went downhill.

"Why don't we ever order a vegetarian pizza?" Parker asked as he chowed down on his slice of pepperoni pizza.

"Because we aren't vegetarians." Booth answered him.

"Bones is a vegetarian. She doesn't eat any meat."

"Parker. Knock it off." Booth had warned him numerous times not to talk about Bones when Hannah was around. He knew it made her uncomfortable.

"What?"

"You know what."

"I think that I am going to become a vegetarian like Bones so I can be healthy." Parker was really pushing his limits.

"Do you want to go to your room without finishing your dinner?"

"No sir."

"If you don't knock it off and apologize then you will spend the rest of the night in your room without television. Do I make myself clear?"

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you." Knowing better then to push his luck, Parker opted to talk about anything but Bones and they were able to finish their dinner in a relaxed atmosphere.

"Parker, Hannah and I have some wonderful news to share with you." Booth began slowly. Parker ignored his father and concentrated on his bowel of ice cream that he was given for dessert, so Booth continued. "I asked Hannah to marry me and she said yes." Still no response from Parker and Hannah reached out and squeezed Booth's hand. "Do you have anything to say?"

"Nope."

"Not even congratulations or I'm really happy for you and Hannah?"

"Congratulations. I'm happy for you." His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Can you at least try to sound sincere?" Parker ignored his father. "I know that this may have come as a surprise but once it sinks in and you are really happy for me and Hannah then I expect you tell us."

"I won't be happy."

"That's enough young man." Booth roared.

"You told me never to lie. I don't want you to marry Hannah. I want you to marry Bones."

"That is never going to happen and you better learn to accept that fact because Hannah and I are getting married. I love her."

"NOOOO." Parker yelled. He stormed out of his chair, knocking it over in the process and ran to his room, slamming the door as hard as he could.

"I'm sorry baby." Hannah had tears streaming down her face and Booth's heart broke for her. He kissed her softly. "He doesn't mean what he is saying."

"He does." Hannah whispered.

"That boy needs an attitude adjustment. I'll be right back."

"Seeley, you don't have to."

"Yes I do." Booth walked away from the table and into his son's room and found Parker lying face down on his bed. "Sit up."

"No."

"Sit up NOW." Parker slowly sat up.

"You're behavior is absolutely unacceptable. You are being rude and disrespectful and I will not tolerate it. You're acting like a child."

"I am a child."

"Let me be clear then. You are acting like a spoiled rotten brat and I will not tolerate that behavior in my home."

"You can't marry Hannah. You have to marry Bones." Parker cried.

"You need to get it through your head that Bones and I are no longer friends and we will probably never be friends again. I will not be marrying Bones…ever. I love Hannah and Hannah and I are getting married."

"But…" Booth held up his hand.

"I don't want to hear anymore. You are to stay in this room with no television and I don't want to see you until you are ready to apologize to Hannah and mean it."

"Why do I have to apologize to her?"

"You have to apologize to Hannah because you hurt her feelings with your comments about me and Bones getting married." Booth walked out of his son's room and into the living room and found Hannah curled up on the couch. "I am so sorry." He pulled her into his arms.

"It's okay."

"No it's not."

"I understand where he is coming from and I'm sure that with time, he will come to like me as much as he likes Dr. Brennan."

"Hannah he does like you. He's just a confused angry kid right now." Hannah was silent. "I promise you Hannah everything with Parker will work out."

"You can't promise something like that but I hope you're right." Hannah turned on the television, clearing ending the conversation and Booth decided not to push the issue. He knew Hannah had to process what had happened on her own and when she was ready, they would talk again.

Forty-five minutes later there was a knock on the door. "Are you expecting someone?" Booth asked Hannah.

"No. Are you?"

"No." Another knock. "All right I'm coming." Booth shouted. He opened the door and was shocked to see Rebecca standing on the other side. "What are you doing here?"

"Parker called and told me that he wasn't feeling good and asked me to come and pick him up."

"Parker is full of crap. He isn't sick. He's grounded."

"Well maybe I should take him home."

"No you shouldn't. We can't let him pull this getting into trouble with one of us and then calling the other parent and getting out of his punishment crap. He is staying here and he is accepting his punishment whether he likes it our not."

"What in the hell happened?"

"He was rude and he is being a brat."

"What in the hell happened?" Rebecca repeated. She wanted details but it wasn't going to happen.

"We'll talk about it later."

"Tell him I was here."

"Oh believe me. I will." They said their goodbyes and Booth stormed into Parker's room. "Really Parker? Really?"

"Can you hold on please?" Parker said to the phone.

"What are you doing on the phone? Who are you talking to?"

"Bones."

"Give me that." Booth reached out and grabbed the phone out of Parker's hand. "Why are you bribing my son with trips to Disneyland?" He seethed into the phone.

"I beg your pardon?" It had been six months since he had heard her voice and his heart skipped a beat as soon as she spoke.

"Parker said that you told him that you would take him to Disneyland if he came to visit."

"He asked me if I would take him to Disneyland when he came to visit. I never suggested it. It was his idea but it is something that I would love to do for him." She sounded really good to him.

"He's not coming to visit."

"DAD!" Parker whined.

"Zip it. I'm not talking to you." Booth snapped.

"Parker told me that you and Hannah got engaged."

"That's really none of your business."

"You should know that he told me that he was very unhappy because he wanted you and I to get married.

"I really don't want to talk to you about this."

"I told him that marriage between us would never happen and he needs to accept that and be happy for you and Hannah. I told him that Hannah made you very happy and it would make you happy if he was happy for you both."

"I…uhhh…thanks Bones."

"Congratulations Booth."

"I'm going to let you say goodbye to Parker." Booth handed the phone back to his son, his hand shaking slightly. Bones' words to him touched him. She could have encouraged Parker's dream of a marriage between them but instead she told Parker that it would never happen and she congratulated him. Is it possible that the woman he knew before her kidnapping, rape and torture had returned? He would like to know and if she had, maybe they can become friends again.

"Bye Bones. I love you too." Parker hung up the phone and Booth focused on him.

"I think I'm going to take the phone out of your room. I can't believe that you called your mother to come and pick you up."

"She's here?" Parker asked as he stood and grabbed his packed bag.

"She was but now she is gone."

"Why? I want to go home with mom."

"No this is your weekend with me and Hannah and you will stay here, punishment and all. You are not going to your mother's house and getting out of the punishment that you deserve. You will not play your mother and I against each other."

"This is so not fair."

"Get over it. Life isn't fair kid so get used to it." Booth sat down next to Parker. "Another thing, I don't want you making long-distance calls without asking first."

"Yes sir."

"So what did you and Bones talk about?"

"She told me that you guys will never get married." Parker looked heartbroken.

"Do you believe her?" He nodded slowly. "Did she have anything else to say?"

"She said that Hannah makes you really happy and I should be happy that you are happy."

"And are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Are you happy for me and Hannah?"

"Yeah." He mumbled. "I just wish…"

"Don't Parker. It's not going to happen."

"I know."

"You just need to give Hannah more of a chance bub. You've been comparing her to Bones and that's not fair to her. Hannah is a wonderful woman. She really likes you Parker and I think that you will really like her. She wants to get to know you so instead of being rude to her and always talking about Bones whenever she is around how about being nice and getting to know her? Give her a chance."

"That's what Bones told me."

"So what do you say?"

"I would like to apologize to Hannah." Booth grinned at his son.

"That's my boy." Together, Booth and Parker walked into the living room.

"Hannah, I am very sorry that I was rude and disrespectful to you."

"Thank you Parker."

"If its okay with you can we all watch a movie together?" He asked softly.

"I would like that." Parker picked out his current favorite movie; Pirates of the Caribbean and the three of them settled on the couch and watched it together. To Parker, sitting together and watching a movie was really no big deal but to Hannah and Booth, it was a huge step that Parker was taking.

* * *

It was after one in the morning and Booth was wide awake in bed next to Hannah. He couldn't sleep. He knew it was wrong but he couldn't stop thinking about Bones and her conversation with Parker. He had to thank her. As quietly as he could he snuck out of bed and into the living room where he grabbed his laptop. Sitting on the couch he fired it up and logged into his email account. Finding Bones' email address he clicked it and typed out a thank you note.

_Temperance-_

_I am writing this to tell you thank you. Parker didn't take the news of my engagement well. He was angry because he had convinced himself that you and I would one day get married and my engagement to Hannah solidified the fact that it would never happen, you and me that is, and he was angry and taking it out on Hannah. _

_Although I told him that a wedding between us was never going to happen and I told him that Hannah was the woman I love he didn't hear me. He didn't hear me until you told him the exact same thing so I want to thank you for that. Hannah is a wonderful woman and Parker wasn't giving her a chance because of you and once he heard that you have accepted my engagement he finally did too._

_I'm sorry I accused you of bribing Parker to come and visit. I know how much he wants to see you but a trip to California just isn't feasible. If you are in town or close to D.C. let me know and I will make sure that you and Parker see each other, I owe you that. Thank you again. You have no idea how much that simple conversation helped. Thanks._

_I hope that you found the peace in your life that you were looking for. You deserve it. _

_Seeley_

Booth reread his email and without hesitation he hit send.

_**Three months later**_

"Your apartment is clear. Is there anything you need Dr. Brennan?" Agent Brewster asked.

"Is this really necessary?" Bones asked.

"Yes ma'am. The Decant gang has located you and the death threats have started. D.C. wants you alive and well for the trial so yes this is necessary."

"This is ridiculous." She mumbled.

"There will be an agent arriving in town tomorrow morning to escort you back to D.C. for the trial so until said agent arrives you are restricted to your quarters."

"Do you know which agent D.C. is sending?"

"No idea ma'am." Bones had been told the F.B.I. would be sending an agent and she had hoped that it would be Booth. "If that's all I'll leave you be."

"Goodnight agent Brewster."

"Goodnight Dr. Brennan."

Fifteen minutes after her door was shut and locked Bones was sitting in front of her computer, with a glass of red wine. Every night when she came home from work it was the same routine. She usually stayed at her office late, not coming home until eleven or twelve and when she got home the first place she went to was her computer to check her emails. She lived for the emails that she got from Parker and Angela. She missed them so much and the emails helped ease the pain of missing them. Angela's emails were always full of information about The Jeffersonian, her interns, and Clark Edison, her replacement. After the news about The Jeffersonian, Angela talked about her life, her relationship with Hodgins and her pregnancy. Three months after she left Washington D.C. Angela flew out to California to tell her best friend the news of her pregnancy in person and to ask her to be her baby's Godmother, a job she gratefully accepted.

Prior to Parker she had never had a relationship with a child but the first time she saw those big eyes and those curly blond locks, she was hooked and for the first time in her life, she wanted a relationship with a child. During the years of her friendship with Booth Parker had become a very important part of her life and she loved him like a son, if she had one that is. Parker's emails always made her a bit sad. It reminded her of how much she missed him. His emails were childlike but Bones enjoyed them nevertheless. He told her about his day at school; he shared stories about his adventures with his friends, most of which made her laugh and he always talked about his father.

She remembered the night, three months ago, when she answered the phone to a distraught Parker. Once he finally calmed down he told her about Booth's engagement. It took everything she had not to cry. Hearing Parker's sad little voice "Daddy and Hannah are getting married" broke her heart, again. Although she knew that marriage was a possibility, a huge possibility because she knew how badly Booth wanted to be married, actually hearing the words made it perfectly clear that she had lost the only man she ever truly loved for good.

Knowing how important Parker's approval of his marriage was to Booth, Bones put aside her own heartbreak over the engagement and encouraged Parker to accept his father's upcoming marriage. When Parker told her that he wanted his dad to marry her, it was the first time he had ever spoken those words and as much as she wanted to tell him that she wanted that too but she knew she couldn't. She had been so selfish over the past couple of years and it was time she put her selfish desires aside and focus on Booth's desires and his current desire was to marry Hannah so Bones told the young boy that she was happy for his father and she should be as well. She didn't know if he had taken her advice until she saw the email from Booth the next day and apparently he had because Booth thanked her for talking to Parker.

He ended his email by telling her that he hoped she found the peace that she was looking for in her life. She wouldn't necessarily consider what she found as peace but she was better. As hard as it was, moving across the country, it really was probably the best thing for her. Once she was away from all of the memories of her relationship with Booth, she was finally able to move on with her life. She enjoyed her job and she enjoyed going to work everyday. She had made friends and occasionally socialized with them outside of work. She had even been on a few dates but it never turned into anything serious. She couldn't help but compare every man to Booth and no man could ever measure up to Booth. For the most part, she was okay. She didn't feel sad all of the time. In fact sometimes she felt happy. Not happy like she used to be but happier then she was at the end of her life in Washington D.C. She knew that she would never be as happy as she once was because she lost everything that had once mattered to her; her job, her friends, and the man she loved and she lost it all by her own doing.

The following morning Bones and her current F.B.I. agent had just finished a morning workout in the workout room in her apartment building. Rounding the corner they saw a man standing outside of her door. Bones immediately recognized him but before she could let Agent Weber know he pushed her against the wall and drew his gun. "F.B.I. Place your hands in the air and turn around."

"He's the agent from D.C." Bones told Agent Weber.

"Special Agent Seeley Booth." He held out his badge and Agent Weber examined it with a critical eye.

"Sorry about that Agent Booth."

"No problem. We have a witness to protect." Booth said.

"Hello Seeley." Bones said softly.

"Hello Temperance."

"I'm surprised that the bureau sent you."

"In their opinion I am the best man for the job."

"Would you like to come in for some coffee or breakfast?"

"I ate on the plane but coffee would be good if I can drink it out here with Weber here."

"Of course." Bones pushed past the two agents to her door. "Agent Weber, how do you take your coffee?"

"Black."

"I like…"Booth began.

"I remember how you take your coffee." Bones interrupted as she walked into her apartment. With a shaking hand she poured two glasses of coffee and added sugar to one and carried them back out to the hall.

"We need to be at the airport in an hour and a half. Can you be ready?" Booth asked her.

"I will be ready in forty-five minutes."

"I'm sure you will be." Booth gave her a smile, a fraction of the smile that he used to give her but it was still a smile, something that she hadn't seen from him in a very long time.

Two hours later Booth and Bones were sitting in the airport waiting for their delayed flight to become un-delayed. Agent Weber dropped them off at the door so they were alone and quiet. Neither of them were really sure what to say to each other. It was an awkwardness that prior to her kidnapping and rape they never experienced. They always were comfortable with each other and rarely lacked any conversation and the few times that they weren't conversing they always lapsed into a comfortable silence, not the strained silence that they were experiencing now.

"Flight 342 to Washington D.C. is now boarding."

"That's us." Booth said standing up and grabbing Bones' carryon.

"I can take that."

"I've got it."

"Thank you." Booth nodded. They proceeded to check in and then they made their way to the first class cabin.

"I can't believe that the bureau paid for your first class ticket."

"They weren't going to but I told them you won't fly coach or even business class and if I was in coach while you were in first class I really wouldn't be protecting you."

"That's very logical."

"I learned it from you."

"Booth I…are…" Bones couldn't finish her statement because the stewardess came on with the flight announcements. They remained silent until they had been in the air for about a half hour.

"How is Parker?" Bones finally asked.

"He's good. He loves school, something he doesn't get from me. It must be your influence."

"Does he know that I am coming?" Booth had sent her an email asking her not to tell Parker about her upcoming trip.

"No I didn't tell him."

"Oh." She whispered.

"It's not because of you Temperance. I don't know how things are going to go with the death threats and until that situation is controlled I can't allow Parker to be around you. I can't risk his safety."

"I understand."

"I didn't want to tell him that you were coming and then not let him see you. He would be heartbroken. It will work out better if I can surprise him. You're staying for a week, right?"

"Yes. I wanted to stay with Angela but for security reasons the F.B.I. won't allow that so I'm staying in a hotel but Angela is going to stay with me."

"I heard that."

"I'm really looking forward to it."

"You seem like you are doing very well." Booth commented.

"I am. Moving was the best thing for me. Olivia recommended a therapist and I see her once a month."

"I was worried about you, especially considering what today is."

"You remembered." Bones was shocked.

"I can't forget. Three years ago our lives changed, forever." Today was the anniversary of her kidnapping, an anniversary that she never thought that she would have.

"I'm sorry Booth, for everything."

"I know you are. I have forgiven you and it's in the past."

"Are we…are we friends?" Booth took a minute before answering and that sixty seconds seemed to last forever.

"I don't know what we are anymore. I know that I'm not angry with you but I don't think that we are at the friend stage. I trusted you and you destroyed that trust so I can't be friends with someone that I don't trust. The trust between us is going to have to be rebuilt so I guess we are at the starting over stage."

"I will do whatever I need to do so you will trust me again. I miss what we had."

"I'm marrying Hannah."

"I know and I didn't mean it like that. I mean that I miss our friendship and I would like to earn it back."

"So would I."

The two old friends sat in first class and spent the remainder of the flight talking and catching up. Bones told him about her life in California and her job and Booth told her about Parker, his upcoming wedding and some of the cases that he had been working on. By the time their plane landed in Washington D.C. the tension between them was gone and they had taken the first step in rekindling their friendship.

* * *

"Well it's over and no one has tried to kill me." Bones said to Booth three days later after the jury came back with a guilty verdict.

"Not yet."

"You sound as if you believe that my life is still at risk."

"A leader of a major gang was just convicted of murder. There are going to be some very angry gang members that may want revenge on the woman who sent their boss to prison."

"I think that if the gang wanted me dead, they would have tried to kill me before the trial. Now I would like to go meet Angela for lunch."

"Agent Dobson will be shadowing you until this evening so the two of you can go and meet Angela."

"Goodbye Booth."

"See ya." Booth turned and walked down the steps of courthouse. He was meeting Hannah for lunch. Just as he stepped onto the sidewalk he heard her screams. He turned and saw her on the ground, screaming in pain. "BONES!" He shouted as he ran towards her. He had no idea what the hell happened and he was terrified for her.


	18. Chapter 18

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

"Goodbye Booth." Bones told her ex-partner softly.

"See ya." With a heavy heart Bones watched Booth walk away from her and to a restaurant to meet his fiancé.

"Ready Dr. Brennan?" Agent Dobson asked.

"Yes I am. Let's go." Bones turned away from Booth and began to walk in the opposite direction. She had only taken a few steps when a young woman approached her.

"Excuse me, Dr. Brennan?" The young woman asked and Bones froze as did Agent Dobson. The agent inspected the woman and she seemed harmless enough, wearing jeans, a tee shirt and holding a sports bottle but just to be safe, he stepped between the two women.

"Yes, that is correct. Do we know each other?"

"No ma'am we don't."

"Can I help you?"

"It's too late BITCH!" In an instant the young woman was throwing the water from the bottle on Bones face but it wasn't water. The instant the so called water hit her face Bones felt the burn and she knew, without a doubt that she had just been attacked with acid and it was probably the most painful thing she had ever felt. She reacted instinctively by covering her face but it was pointless. The acid was already on her face and it was burning its way through the layers of her skin so she did the only thing she could she screamed in pain and fell to the ground.

When Booth heard her scream he turned around and his heart took a nose dive into his stomach when he saw her on the ground. He saw a woman running past him, dropping a sports bottle on the ground and his gut told him that she was responsible. Seeing that Dobson was tending to Bones, Booth made the decision to go after the girl. If she escaped she may never be found and that was unacceptable to Seeley Booth. "Freeze. F.B.I." Booth shouted as he gave chase. The woman was no match for Booth. It took just seconds before he caught up to her and tackled her to the ground. "You are under arrest." He roughly applied the handcuffs to his suspect, handed her off to another cop and then he rushed over to Bones, about a minute after he heard her scream. "What the hell happened?" Booth asked as he knelt down next to her.

"Acid. She threw acid on her." Agent Dobson explained. He had some water that he had poured over the burns and Bones' was still screaming. "The paramedics are on the way." Booth sat on the ground and cradled Bones' upper body in his lap.

"Water. I need more water." A bystander handed Booth some water and suddenly he was terrified to use it. What if it was some more acid? He couldn't use it knowing it could cause her more pain. To solve that problem, he poured some of it on his leg and when it didn't burn he poured it on her. "Shhhh. It's okay Bones. I'm here. I've got you sweetheart." Hearing Booth's voice seemed to calm her down and her screaming changed to crying.

"Hurts Booth." She whimpered.

"I know. The paramedics are on the way." Unconsciously, he brushed her hair back from her face and he had the first look at her burns. The woman who threw the acid had deadly accuracy. The left side of Bones' face from her forehead down her neck looked like a raw piece of meat and he wanted to vomit. He was no doctor but he had seen people during his time in the Army that were the victims of roadside bombs and he was pretty sure her burns were third degree.

"Okay sir, we're you. You can let her go." A paramedic told Booth. He reluctantly released her to the paramedics and when he did she cried out in pain.

"Booth?" She cried out.

"I'm here Bones." He reached out and took her hand. "Someone threw acid on her. Probably hydrochloric acid." Booth explained to the paramedic.

"Does she have any allergies?"

"No. I don't believe so." Booth watched as the paramedic injected Bones with what he assumed was pain medication and then they carefully loaded her onto a stretcher. "Bones I'll be right behind you. I'll meet you at the hospital." She just moaned in response as she was wheeled to the ambulance. As soon as the door was shut, Booth turned to Agent Dobson. "What in the hell happened?" He seethed.

"It all happened so quickly. She seemed harmless." The agent mumbled.

"Dobson." Booth growled.

"She walked up to Dr. Brennan. She was friendly. She confirmed that it was Dr. Brennan that she was talking to and then Dr. Brennan asked how she could help her and the assailant replied that it was too late to help her. She called the doctor a bitch and then threw the acid on her. I never thought that there was any danger. She had the acid in the sports bottle and she threw it before I could react. I didn't know." Booth looked around and spotted the sports bottle on the ground.

"Is that the bottle?" Booth asked, motioning with his hand.

"That's correct sir. The lid must not have been screwed on because when she went to throw it she just pulled the lid off so it must have just been sitting on top but I didn't catch it. I should have seen it."

"This isn't your fault Dobson." Booth knew the young agent felt guilty. Hell, he felt guilty and he wasn't even there when it happened and from what Agent Dobson had told him he honestly didn't know if he would have been able to stop it if he had been standing right next to her. "I've got to get to the hospital. Can you handle things here?"

"Yes sir." Booth nodded and walked away.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket when he got to his SUV and saw he had a few missed calls, text messages and voicemails that he assumed were from Hannah since he was now was really late for their lunch. Flipping his siren on, he drove to the hospital while listening to Hannah's worried voicemail. Before calling Hannah back he called Angela to let her know what had happened and she understandably upset. She had so many questions that he couldn't answer because there was so much he didn't know. After they agreed to meet at the hospital he ended the call and then Booth hit the second speed dial in his phone to call Hannah.

"Seeley? Are you okay?" Hannah asked as soon as she answered.

"I'm fine."

"Then why in hell haven't you been answering your phone? Why aren't you here? I have been worried sick." She shouted.

"You know that I can't always break away to call and give you a status update." He replied.

"I understand that but I can still worry."

"If you understand then you shouldn't shout at me."

"I'm sorry for shouting. Now can you tell me what's going on?"

"There was an attack on Bo…Dr. Brennan today after court." He almost said Bones but caught himself at the last second but Hannah picked up on it.

"Is she okay?"

"No she's not. I think she has third degree burns." Hannah could hear the misery in his voice.

"What happened?"

"A woman threw acid on her."

"That's awful."

"Obviously I am not going to make it to lunch because I am heading to the hospital and I'm not sure when I will be home."

"Do what you have to do. I'll see you when I see you."

"Thanks. I'll talk to you later."

"I love…" Hannah never got to finish telling him that she loved him because he hung up. As she put her phone back into her purse she knew this was the beginning of the end of their relationship.

* * *

"Temperance Brennan. She was brought in by an ambulance. She was burnt." Booth told the receptionist.

"The doctors are with her now sir. Please have a seat and they will be with you when they can."

"Please can I go back?"

"I'm sorry sir but you can't." She was an older woman who had probably been the receptionist for years and Booth knew that she wasn't going to budge so he grudgingly went and found a seat.

Angela and Jack joined him five minutes later. Booth told them that he had no news so they just sat in silence. Things had improved between the three of them over the past year but their relationship wasn't anything like it used to be. "Temperance Brennan?"

"That's us." Booth told the doctor as he rose to his feet.

"Can you come with me?" Booth, Jack and Angela followed the doctor to a small, private consultation room. "Temperance has suffered from serious third degree burns over the left side of her face and some portion of her neck. "

"Can we see her?" Angela asked.

"You can but since she was in an extreme amount of pain we have sedated her and due to the burns she is at high risk of infection so you have to wear gowns, gloves and masks." The three of them nodded. "She has been moved to a room on the burn unit on the 6th floor, room 6408. I'll call them and let them know that you will be up there."

"Thank you doctor." Angela said and then she and Jack left, leaving Booth and the doctor alone.

"Dr…"Booth looked at his I.D. "Sweeney, is she okay?" He asked the doctor.

"She's alive and baring any infection she will survive. It's going to be a long road to recovery; many, many surgeries and skin grafts."

"Will she have scars?"

"She will. The plastic surgeons will do what they can but the damage is really severe."

"Thank you." Booth held out his held and the two men shook hands.

* * *

"Bye Bones." He leaned down and kissed a portion of her forehead that wasn't burnt through the mask. "You just rest and I'll see you tomorrow." She didn't respond. The doctor's had kept her sedated since she got top the burn unit, something Booth was thankful for because he couldn't stand to see her in pain. He gave her one last lingering kiss, then he slipped out of the room and he was home twenty minutes later.

"DAD!" Parker practically shouted when Booth walked in the apartment. Due to the day's events until he walked into his home Booth had forgotten that this was his weekend with his son. Booth hugged Parker tightly to his chest.

"I'm sorry I'm late Bub."

"What happened to Bones? Why is she in the hospital?"

"How do you know about Bones?"

"Hannah told me and then I saw it on the news. Is she okay?"

"Give me a minute okay? I need to get out of this suit and then I will tell you everything." Parker nodded and Booth headed to his bedroom, signaling Hannah to follow him. "Why in the hell did you tell him about Bones?" He snapped.

"I didn't realize that I shouldn't have told him. He asked me where you were and I told him the truth. I am not going to lie to him. Why didn't you want him to know?"

"Because I didn't."

"Really Seeley? That's the answer you are going with?"

"He's my son and I don't have to explain my decisions regarding him to you."

"We're going to officially be a family soon and I thought that families made decisions together." Booth sighed and sat on the bed.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. It's just been a really rough day. I wanted to put off telling Parker for as long as I could because it's bad. She is in really bad shape. The whole left side of his face is practically gone."

"You're worried?"

"I am. She's already been through so much I don't know if she can handle this." Booth took a deep breath and stood to finish dressing.

"Has anyone been arrested?"

"Yeah. I chased her down at the scene and Dobson got a confession. Her boyfriend was the guy who was convicted of murder because of Bones' testimony and she was angry."

"Wow." Hannah mumbled. "She ruined a woman's life because she was angry. Unbelievable."

"Tell me about it. I'm going to go talk to Parker. Thanks for watching him until I got home."

"Of course." Booth distractedly kissed his fiancé and went to the living room. The quick, non-feeling kiss that Booth gave her further confirmed that their relationship had changed.

"All right Parks, have a seat."

"Is Bones okay dad?"

"No son she is not."

"What happened?"

"Before Bones left for California we closed a case but it hadn't gone to trial. The trial started this week and Bones came back to town to testify."

"She's been here all week?"

"Pretty much."

"Why didn't she tell me that she was here?"

"I asked her not to."

"Why not? How could you not let me see her? Just because you guys aren't friends anymore is no reason to not let me see her. She is my friend." Parker shouted.

"Chill out Parks. You do not yell at me."

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"Before the trial started Bones began getting death threats. The suspect or friends of the suspect threatened to kill her if she testified. Of course, you know Bones; she had to make sure that justice was served so she refused to not testify so the bureau assigned agents to guard her and to make sure she stayed safe. On Monday, they sent me out to California to flew back with her and make sure she got back safely. She wanted to see you Parks, she really did but I asked her not to tell you that she was in town."

"Why?"

"Because of the threats. There was still a huge chance that someone would try to hurt or kill her and I couldn't risk letting you see her because if someone attacked her while you were with her you might get hurt in the crossfire and that was a chance that I wasn't going to take and Bones agreed with me. She didn't want anything to happen to you."

"What happened to her dad?" Parker asked softly.

"She was burnt."

"Was there a fire?"

"No. The girlfriend of the guy who was just convicted of murder threw acid on Bones which caused the burns."

"Is it a bad burn?"

"Yeah Bub, its bad."

"Can I see her?"

"Not now. The doctor is limiting her visitors right now."

"But you get to see her so why can't I?"

"She's at risk for an infection so they less people that visit the better and honestly, I don't think that she would want you to see her in the condition that she is in."

"I don't care how she looks. She is my friend and I want to see her." Booth marveled at how much his son looked and acted like him.

"I know you don't care how she looks Bub but I think that you should wait. She's in a lot of pain and the doctor has her on a lot of medicine so she's out of it."

"Please dad, I really want to see her. She told me that being around her always made her happy."

"All right. We'll go tomorrow." Booth finally gave in.

"Thanks dad."

Later that night after Parker and Hannah had gone to bed, Booth stayed up watching a hockey game but he couldn't concentrate on it, something that rarely ever happened to him. Usually when there is a hockey game on, that's the only thing that he can concentrate on but not tonight. Tonight, he couldn't get his mind off of Bones.

He was confused. He woke up this morning happy, engaged to and in love with Hannah. Now as it neared midnight, he knew things had changed. He still was engaged to and in love with Hannah but now there was another woman in the equation, a woman who he thought he would never love again; Bones. This morning as he was holding her on the courthouse steps as she was screaming in agony feelings that he thought he had buried came rushing to the surface. He was still in love with her.

He spent the day at the hospital, in her room, next to her holding her hand having an internal battle with himself. He loved Hannah. He had no doubt about that but the love he felt towards Hannah was nothing compared to love he felt towards Bones. He had always heard, nothing compares to your first, true love and he know realized the truth of that statement. He thought he was over Bones. He could actually be in the same room with her, have a conversation with her and not ache to hold her, kiss her and be with her but obviously he wasn't over her because all he could think about while in the hospital was holding, kissing and loving her again and Hannah was caught in the middle.

Booth's first instinct was to tell Bones that he loved her the minute she was coherent enough to understand him but he knew that was something that he couldn't do. He made a commitment to Hannah and he had to honor that commitment. It's not like he didn't love Hannah; he did. He just had to get Bones out of his heart and mind and focus on the woman he had planned to marry in a few months. He had to make Hannah a priority in his and his son's life. He couldn't hurt Hannah because feelings for an old love resurfaced. He wasn't that kind of man and Hannah didn't deserve to be hurt like that. She was a good woman and he was going to love her like she deserved.

* * *

It's been four days since Bones had been attacked with the acid and for most of the three days she had been heavily sedated so she had no knowledge of the time that Angela, Parker or Booth had spent with her. During Parker's one and only visit he tried his hardest to be brave but he broke down in tears when he saw his beloved friend in her condition. As he led his crying son out of her hospital room Booth decided that he wouldn't be bringing Parker back for quite some time, at least not until she began to heal and surprisingly, Parker didn't argue with his father.

Angela's visits were more emotional and for that reason, Angela was thankful that her best friend was sedated because she was heartbroken over what happened and spent most of her visits crying softly. It just wasn't fair. After all the time she spent suffering and healing from her kidnap and rape she had finally gotten her life back together. She was relatively happy in California; she enjoyed her job, and most importantly, she finally had a relationship with Booth again. The night before her attack Bones confided in Angela that she and Booth were becoming friends again and perhaps the most surprising confession of all was that she admitted that she was truly happy for Booth and Hannah. After she ruined what they had, the only thing she wanted for Booth was for him to find happiness and he did find it with Hannah. She told Angela that she could see how happy he was about his upcoming marriage to Hannah and therefore she was happy for him. Angela was worried about Brennan's reaction when she woke up and saw what was done to her. She had come so far and Angela was terrified that this attack was going to set her back, emotionally, and she was going to become the angry shell of a woman…again.

Since he made the promise to himself to be the best fiancé to Hannah that he could be, over the weekend he didn't spend as much time with Bones as he would have liked. After Parker broke down Booth left him in the waiting room with Jack and Angela who were there visiting as well and he returned to her room for an hour, talking softly to her and when he left he gently kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger longer then an engaged man should have. On Sunday he spent the day with Hannah and Parker at the beach and they all had a blast but Booth's thoughts were never far away from Bones. He tried to hide it from Hannah and thought that he was doing a good job of it but she knew his mind was elsewhere.

On Sunday, Parker, Hannah and Booth spent the day together again. Booth took them all out to breakfast and then the three of them went to the zoo, where Booth was being especially affectionate towards Hannah. He was always either holding her hand or had an arm wrapped around her shoulder and the two of them shared multiple, tasteful kisses throughout the day. After their zoo adventure Hannah went to work when Booth took Parker home. After returning Parker to his mother Booth decided to go to the hospital to visit Bones since Hannah wasn't going to be home and he convinced himself that it would be acceptable to visit Bones since Hannah was working because he wouldn't be taking any time away from his fiancé.

"Hi Hannah." Charlie greeted. He found Hannah standing in the doorway of Booth's empty office.

"Hi Charlie. Where is Seeley? Is he out in the field?" She asked the agent.

"Agent Booth took a personal day." Charlie answered nervously.

"Oh that's right. He told me. It just slipped my mind." Hannah lied. "I'll see you later Charlie." She sighed quietly and left the F.B.I. Hannah pulled out of the parking lot of the F.B.I and turned her car in the direction of Washington Memorial Hospital because she knew that was where her fiancé was.

After arriving at the hospital Hannah received directions to the burn unit. Her stomach was in knots as she made her way towards Seeley's ex-partner, friend and lover. She never wanted to be the woman who followed and stalked the man she loved but he had left her no choice. Since the attack Hannah and sensed that something had shifted inside of Seeley. Al l of the flowers, kisses and tenderness towards her that he was displaying was different then before the attack and Hannah knew that his newfound lovey-dovey attitude was brought on by the guilt that he was feeling.

Hannah easily found the doctor's room and inside the room, sitting on a chair was her fiancé, exactly where she knew he would be. For the next forty-five minutes she stood outside the window, watching Booth with Bones, hoping he would look up and see her but he never did. He was too focused on the woman in the bed. Hannah watched as he spoke to her, laughed, shed tears, kiss her head, kiss her hand and she couldn't take her eyes of off his face. The look he wore on his face was a look that Hannah had never seen before. Sure she had seen a similar look during some of their intimate moments but it was never as intense or as full of love as she was witnessing at this very moment and Hannah finally realized that she couldn't compete with his one true love. She raised her hand and knocked on the glass. Booth looked up in surprise and the surprise turned to guilt. Hannah motioned for him to join her. He nodded and she walked away from the window.

"Hey sweetheart." Booth said nervously a few minutes later. He walked over and attempted to kiss her but she turned her head at the last moment and he got a mouthful of hair.

"We need to talk."

"Yeah. We do."

"In private."

"Yeah sure." They walked out of the hospital to a park across the street. "I'm sorry honey." Booth blurted out as soon as they were alone, in a secluded area.

"What are you sorry for Seeley? Are you sorry for being here visiting a friend instead of being at work? Are you sorry for not being completely honest with me or are you sorry because you are in love with Dr. Brennan?" Hannah asked and Booth shook his head. Hannah was always a woman who never beat around the bush.

"Hannah…I…I…I love you."

"Seeley you've never lied to me so please don't start now.

"I'm not lying to you Hannah. I do love you."

"But not like you love her."

"How I feel about Bones, it doesn't matter."

"It does when it's obvious that you feel more for her than for me."

"I love you." He repeated lamely. He never wanted to hurt Hannah. She didn't deserve it. "But when she…when Bones got attacked feelings that I used to have for her, feelings that I thought no longer existed returned but it's probably just the adrenaline from the attack."

"I don't believe that and neither do you."

"I'm trying to work it out."

"By sneaking around and taking personal days to go and visit her?"

"I didn't say that it was a great way to work it out but I'm trying Hannah."

"Seeley I can't be with someone who has to try not to have feelings for another woman."

"I love you Hannah and I want to be with you. I want to marry you like we are planning."

"I can't marry you Seeley."

"Why?" Booth asked desperately.

"Because you are in love with another woman."

"Please don't do this Hannah. Don't give up on us." Booth begged, tears forming in his eyes. "I can be happy. We can have a wonderful, happy life together."

"I believe that you would try to make me happy but how can we be happy when there will always be a third person in our marriage?"

"I won't see her anymore. I'll stop right now." Hannah reached out, cupped one of his cheeks and wiped away a tear.

"It won't make any difference if you stop visiting her. She will always be in your heart. I've known since the beginning that Dr. Brennan was more than just a consultant and since you returned from California I've seen a change in you. From the minute you returned from dropping her at the hotel you have been wearing a goofy smile."

"On the plane we talked and I decided that we could start over…our friendship and nothing more. I swear Hannah all I was offering was friendship and that's all I wanted."

"I believe that's what you believed but it's not that simple Seeley. Since your friend was attacked you have changed. Remember when you came home the night of the attack?" Booth nodded. "You weren't very nice to me that night and then the next day and the following day you did a complete turn around and were the nicest, sweetest guy ever and I believe that was because you felt guilty but when we made love last night…it was different. You were there but you weren't. You were so distant and I felt like you were just making love to me because you had to."

"Hannah…I'm sorry." He thought that if he admitted his guilt then she wouldn't walk away.

"You have a deep, strong history with her and I don't think that you ever got over her. The relationship ended but you didn't want it to and therefore you never really got over her."

"I ended the relationship but I didn't have a choice."

"There is always a choice Seeley."

"She proved that she didn't trust me and she humiliated me. I knew I couldn't be with a woman who didn't trust me and I ended everything with her."

"And you never actually got over her."

"I thought that I did Hannah. Before I met you, I was miserable but when you walked into my life I was happy again. Being with you, I felt alive again."

"I'm glad that I had a part in your healing but I'm no longer the woman who makes you feel alive." Hannah took Booth's hand. "It's her."

"Hannah?" Booth looked at Hannah's engagement ring that was in the palm of his hand.

"I wish you all of the happiness in the world Seeley and I hope you find it with Temperance." Booth leaned forward and kissed her softly and when the broke apart he leaned his forehead against hers.

"I'm so sorry for your hurting you. I never wanted that." He whispered.

"I know."

"I love you Hannah. I hope you know that."

"I do know that but sometimes, at least in our case, love isn't enough." Hannah pulled back. "I'll have all my stuff out of your apartment today."

"There's no rush."

"It's better that I do rush. Will you please explain everything to Parker for me and tell him goodbye."

"You should tell him yourself."

"It would be better coming from you."

"You are an amazing woman Hannah and I hope that you find someone who loves you like you deserve to be loved and I'm sorry that it wasn't me."

"Goodbye Seeley."

"Goodbye Hannah."

With tears streaming down his face Booth watched Hannah walk out of the park and out of his life. After taking a minute to pull himself together, he wiped the tears off of his face with the back of his hand, slipped Hannah's ring in his pocket and returned to Bones' room.

After putting on the sterile gown, mask and gloves that was required of him he claimed his normal chair beside her bed. He took the hand closest to him, brought it up to his masked face and kissed it softly.

"Hannah broke up with me Bones. I have feelings, very strong feelings for another woman and even though I tried to hide it she knew. I never stopped loving you Temperance, never. I just was so damn pissed off at you that I buried my feelings and when you got burnt…I knew I still loved you and I knew it was wrong. I was engaged to Hannah and I tried to hide my feelings for you but she knew and I guess you can say that she bowed out gracefully and wished us happiness. She is pretty amazing Bones but she can't compare to you. When you're not sedated I'm going to tell you how much I love you and ask you for a second chance." Before he could say another word Bones began moaning from the bed. "Hey Bones. "

"Booth?"

"Yeah Bones. I'm here." He squeezed her hand. "And I'm never going to leave you."


	19. Chapter 19

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

"Booth?" Bones whispered hoarsely.

"Hey Bones. Welcome back." It had been a week since the attack on her and she had spent that week pretty well sedated. "Are you in any pain? I can call a nurse." She lifted her hand and went to touch her burn but Booth reached out and stopped her. "Don't touch. " He lowered her arm down onto her abdomen and linked his fingers with hers.

"Burn?"

"Do you remember what happened?"

"The trial…it was over…I was leaving. A woman threw a liquid at me…burned…hurt so bad…"

"Acid. She threw acid on you." She slowly nodded.

"That makes sense." Booth could tell that she was coming out of her medically induced fog. "Who was she?"

"The girlfriend. Your testimony put her boyfriend behind bars and she was seeking revenge."

"Did you…did the F.B.I. find her?"

"She didn't even get off the courthouse property. I got her."

"Thank you."

"It's my job."

"How bad is it? How ugly am I?" Booth shook his head.

"You're not ugly. You are beautiful."

"You're lying." Bones accused.

"No I'm not. You really are beautiful." He wasn't lying. Even with her burnt face, he thought that she was beautiful.

"I want to see."

"Bones maybe you should wait until your doctor comes in."

"I want to see now. Get me a mirror."

"Bones…"

"Please get me a mirror or I will do it myself." Booth knew that tone. He knew she would climb out of bed, go to the bathroom and possibly hurt herself and he couldn't risk it.

"All right. I'll find a mirror." Booth lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it gently. Bones thought it was odd that he kissed her hand but at that moment she had other things on her mind. Booth rifled through the drawers until he found a small hand-held mirror. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes I'm very sure." She reached out and took the mirror out of Booth's hand. Taking a deep breath she lifted the mirror up to face. It took another minute for to position the mirror so she could see the left side and when she did she gasped. "Oh my God." She whispered as she stared into the mirror. Instinctively she reached up again to touch her injury but again, Booth stopped her.

"You can't touch it. You can't risk an infection."

"You lied to me." She whispered.

"Bones I…"

"I am ugly. I am hideous." Booth adamantly shook his head.

"No Bones no. You are beautiful."

"I'm not. " Booth's heart broke when he saw tears falling from her eyes. He went and sat on the edge of the bed next to her and gently pulled the mirror out of her hand.

"Bones you are not hideous. You are the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen. "

"Look at me. How can you look at me and say that I'm beautiful." She pointed to the left side of her face. "I'm a monster." She sobbed. Booth wrapped his arms around the woman he loved and he simply held her tightly as she cried. When she calmed down she made no effort to pull out of Booth's embrace. She simply clung to him.

"Hey Seeley."

"Hey Dr. Mayfair." Booth greeted the physician and Bones lifted her head off of Booth's chest.

"Hello Temperance. " Bones had a confused look on her face. "I'm Dr. Mayfair. I have been treating you since you were admitted but you probably don't remember since you have been on sedatives and pain medication since your arrival." Booth climbed off of the bed and took his normal seat next to her bed. He automatically took her hand and she didn't pull away.

For the next twenty minutes Bones sat back and listened as Dr. Mayfair explained everything that had medically been done and what will and can be done for her including plastic surgery. Bones sat there quietly and listened, occasionally asking questions. She was relatively calm upon hearing the specifics about her condition and that scared Booth.

"Now besides all of the medical treatment that you are going to need I'm also going to recommend psychological therapy as well."

"I see a therapist back home, once a month. Will that suffice?" The woman who never believed in psychology wasn't fighting therapy. She really had changed.

"Unfortunately not. You have been through a major trauma…"

"I'm so tired of hearing about the trauma that I have been through." She mumbled and Dr. Mayfair gave her an odd look. "Oh never mind." She had assumed that Booth told the physician's about her past but since the doctor didn't seem to know about it, she wasn't going to bring it up.

"Anyway, I have a therapist that specializes in treating patients that have had a traumatic experience."

"Of course you do."

"Bones." Booth chastised gently and Bones glared at him.

"Patients that have been attacked often suffer from PTSD which is…"

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I am familiar with it." Bones told him. After a lot of counseling, she finally admitted to herself that she suffered from PTSD after her kidnap and rape.

"Temperance, you are going to need a support system to help you through your physical and emotional recovery. Do you have that?" Tears filled her eyes.

"No I don't. Not anymore." Admitting out loud that she was alone made her tears fall. "I…I will hire a nurse when I get home."

"You're from California right?" The doctor asked and she nodded. "When you are discharged I will make sure that you have appointments set up with a plastic surgeon and a therapist in California."

"When will I be discharged?"

"Probably within the next few days. You have avoided any infection up to this point so there is really no reason to keep you here. The plastic surgeon and therapist will be in here shortly to talk to you."

"How soon will I be able to get the plastic surgery?"

"That's really going to be up to your plastic surgeon but you still have some healing to do so my guess is probably about a month to six weeks." Tears filled her eyes again. "How is your pain? Would you like any pain medication?"

"Not now." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Do you have any questions for me right now?" She shook her head. "I'll be back in a couple of hours. If you need anything before then, please let a nurse know and I will be paged."

"Thank you." As soon as Dr. Mayfair left, Bones laid on her bed on the side of her face that wasn't burnt, away from Booth.

"Bones" Booth whispered.

"Go away."

"I won't…"

"Please just go. I want to be alone." Deciding not to argue with her he simply, stood, kissed her head and as he shut the door he heard her soft sobs. It was against his nature to walk out and leave her alone and crying but it's what she wanted.

As soon as Booth left her bedside, the tears that she had been trying to hold back began to fall. The gravity of her situation has finally kicked in and it was very overwhelming. She was well aware that she was a beautiful woman, always had been and she had taken her natural beauty for granted and now, she was going to have to spend the rest of her life paying for that. When she looked into the mirror, it took everything she had not to vomit. She was so ugly. She was hideous. She was a monster and looking like how she does, she knew that she was going to be alone for the rest of her life.

Temperance Brennan was angry. Actually, she was beyond angry and she wasn't sure if furious would cover how she was feeling. She couldn't understand why this had happened to her. She couldn't understand what she had done in her life to deserve this. First she was kidnapped and raped for weeks and the weeks, months and years that followed that traumatic event were the dark times. So dark that Temperance never thought there would ever be light again but after a lot of hard work, she finally turned her life around. She was relatively happy and now she had been attacked and is going to be permanently disfigured and she was miserable.

The more she thought about her situation the harder she cried. She was crying so hard that she never heard the door open. Booth had been standing outside and listening to her cry from through a closed door and he couldn't or wouldn't let her cry alone. He walked in, sat on the edge of her bed and wrapped his arms around her shaking body. "Leave…me…alone." She sobbed.

"No Bones. I'm not leaving you alone. Never again." She struggled out of his embrace and sat up.

"I am alone. Don't you get it?" She screamed at him. "Look at me." She was pointing to her burn. "Can't you see what I've become?"

"You haven't become anything Bones. You are the same woman that you were when I picked you up in California."

"Shut up you lying bastard. Just shut up." She screamed as she began to punch him in the chest. He knew she needed to get her anger out and he would much rather have her punching him in the chest then holding her anger inside.

"Let it out Bones. Let it out."

"What did I do Booth?" Her voice had dropped an octave.

"Nothing Bones. " He told her softly. "You didn't do a damn thing."

"Then why? Please tell me why."

"I don't know. I wish I could give you a reason because I know that it would help you but I can't." Bones gave up hitting him and fell against his chest, exhausted.

"I just want to know why."

"I know. I know." He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed his hand over her back.

"I'm scared Booth. I'm so damn scared. After what happened before…I'm scared that I'm not strong enough to get through this…" She admitted after fifteen minutes of silence.

"You are the strongest woman I know. You got your life back once already. You can do it again."

"I can't Booth. I just can't. I'm all alone. I can't do it by myself."

"You're not alone. I'll be here for you. Angela will be here for you." She shook her head.

"You won't be in California."

"Stay here. I want you to stay here and let me take care of you." He had planned on talking about this in few days but since she brought it up, why not.

"I…I…can't."

"Why not?"

"My life is in California now."

"Yes it is but you can change that. You can come back home where you will have the support system that you need. There are people here that love and want to take care of you. Let us."

"I…I…don't know." She mumbled.

"Just think about it Bones. Promise me that you'll think about it." She lifted her head off of his chest. When he looked into her eyes, he saw that they were swimming with tears. "Oh Bones." He whispered softly just as she burst into tears again.

No more words were spoken. He just held her tight as she cried over what had been lost and her uncertain and possibly lonely future.

* * *

Bones ended up staying in the hospital for another week and it wasn't by any means an easy week. She was angry. She was depressed. There were times when she became sullen and silent. Other times she was angry and yelling at anyone who was there to be yelled at and if she wasn't sullen, silent, or mad she was sad and crying but through it all Booth was there. He only left her side long enough to go home, shower and change and when he was gone he made sure Angela was there. His back was killing him because he spent every night sleeping on a chair beside her bed but he refused to leave her. He wanted to be there to comfort her when she woke from a nightmare, which she did often.

The counselor that was assigned to Bones was one of the best trauma counselors in D.C. and surprising everyone, Bones opened right up to him. After dealing with her rape and kidnapping she learned that there is no use in keeping her feelings locked up and she felt a little better every time that she talked to him which was three times a day while in the hospital. Because of the bond she formed with her therapist, Bones decided to stay in D.C., at least for a little while. Angela had graciously opened her house for her best friend to recover.

* * *

"Booth I'm fine. You should go home and spend some time with Hannah and Parker." Bones suggested her last night in the hospital. Throughout the past week, she ha d silently wondered why Booth was spending all of his time with her and not at home with his fiancé. Since she was so grateful for his presence she never questioned it, until now. She knew, taking up all of Booth's time, keeping him away from his fiancé and son wasn't fair to any of them.

"Parker is out of town with Rebecca and Tyler, her boyfriend. He'll be back on Sunday." He hadn't told her about his breakup with Hannah.

"Well then you should really go home and spend time with Hannah. She must really miss you."

"I'm good here."

"Booth, go home and spend the evening with your fiancé instead of hanging out at the hospital with me."

"Hannah and I broke up." Booth mumbled. "She's not at home waiting for me."

"Was it because of me; because of what happened to me because if that's the case I can call and talk to her? I can explain…" Booth took her hand.

"It's not your fault. We broke up because of me."

"I am so sorry Booth. I know that you…I know how happy she made you. You finally found love and happiness and I'm sorry you had to lose it. I know…I know what that feels like." She added softly.

"It was for the best."

"I don't believe that Booth. You are a wonderful man who deserves to be happy. You want to fall in love and spend your life with someone. I want you to find that happiness and love Booth."

"I once told you that there is someone out there for everyone. I still believe that. Hannah wasn't my meant to be and I can see that now. My meant to be is out there waiting for me and she may not even know it but when the time is right, for both of us, I believe that God will bring us together to love each other for the rest of our lives." Booth looked into her eyes to see if she realized that she was his meant to be but all he could see was heartbreak. One day, hopefully soon, he will tell her that she was his meant to be and when that day came, he hoped like hell she believed him.

"I hope that's true." Bones told him even though the thought of him with another woman broke her heart, all over again.

"So Parker wants to come and see you." Booth needed to change the subject before he said too much too soon.

"He knows that I'm here?" Booth nodded. "Does he know what happened to me?"

"Yes he does." Tears filled her eyes when she heard Booth's answer.

"I…I…want to see him, I really do but I don't think that it's a good idea. I don't want to scare him. Maybe I can see him after I have had some plastic surgery."

"You won't scare him."

"How could I not scare him?" She dropped her head and stared into her lap. She convinced herself that she was a monster and she refused to subject Parker to the monstrosity on her face. It or she would give him nightmares. He was still a child and he deserved to stay as innocent and pure for as long as possible.

"Bones, he has already seen you." She jerked her head up and stared at him, disbelief crossing her face.

"What? How? When?"

"The day of your attack I went home and Parker started asking questions. He saw on the news that you were attacked. He was asking a lot of questions and I couldn't lie to him. I had to tell him what happened."

"That doesn't explain how he has seen me." She snapped tearfully.

"He insisted that I bring him here to see you."

"He's a child Booth and you are the adult. You could have, you should have said no."

"You know how damn stubborn my son can be Bones. I told him no. I told him that you wouldn't want him to see you in your condition but he was adamant that he see you. He told me that you had told him being with him, being together always made you feel good. I couldn't argue with his logic."

"Was he scared? Did I scare him?" She had begun to softly cry.

"He wasn't scared." Bones knew he was leaving something out.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"He…he was upset." When those words reached her ears, she began to cry harder. "Why do you keep lying to me Booth?" She sobbed. "He was scared of me, of this." She cried pointing to her burn. "I never wanted to scare him."

"I'm not lying Bones. I would not lie to you." He attempted to wrap his arms around her but she pulled away. "He was not scared of you."

"You said that he was upset. " She sniffled.

"He was Bones but it wasn't because…"

"Did he cry?" She interrupted.

"Yeah." As soon as Temperance heard that her condition made the little boy that she adored cry she reached over, grabbed a basin and puked. "Bones he cried because his friend was hurt not because of how you look."

"Why Booth? Why did you bring him to see me?" Booth took her vomit basin out of her hand, placed it on her tray and then moved the tray away from them because the smell made him want to puke himself.

"I already told you why." He sat on the bed and took her hand in his.

"This world is a horrible place. I've seen that and experienced it first hand as have you. Seeing me, in this condition, it takes away his view of a wonderful world and it's all my fault." She told him through her tears. "I never wanted that for him. " She collapsed against his chest and sobbed.

"You didn't do anything." Booth assured her. "Parker's view of the world hasn't been innocent for a very long time. I'm an F.B.I. agent who catches murderers and that's something that I have never hidden from Parker. Every day that I go to work, he is terrified that I am going to be shot. He knows what the world is but he's not thinking about what a horrible world we live in right now. His friend has been hurt and that's all he can think about right now."

"I…I'm sorry Booth. I…I just can't see him; not like this."

"You're going to break his heart Bones." He knew that was a low blow but he couldn't let her close herself off from everyone who loves her, Parker included. The last time she closed herself off from those who loved her resulted in disaster.

"Don't put that kind of pressure on me." She shouted.

"It's not pressure. It's the truth."

"I love Parker and I don't want to hurt him but I can't. I just can't face him."

"You should trust in your relationship with Parker. You need to trust in yourself."

"I…can't." She gasped through her tears. "I can't trust anything in my life right now Booth." She was crying so hard, she could barely breathe but she kept on talking. "I get scared whenever a doctor or nurse walk in the room. I am terrified to eat the food that is brought into me because I'm afraid that someone poisoned the food. I am living in constant fear and I hate it. I want my life back Booth. I don't want to be scared anymore." She had her head on his chest and her arms were wrapped around his back while her hands grabbed at his shirt as if she was trying to pull him closer. "I'm so scared."

"I know sweetheart. I know." He whispered.

"I don't want to be scared anymore." She repeated into his shoulders.

"I'm never going to let anything happen to you ever again."

"You can't. No one can."

"I can Bones."

"No you can't. You couldn't stop me from leaving to go on that damn trip. You couldn't stop those men from raping me. You couldn't stop that woman from throwing the acid on me. "

"I promise Bones. I am never going to let anyone hurt you ever again. You'll be safe. You won't be scared anymore. Do you believe me?" She didn't answer but she did relax her grip on him and seemed to relax against his chest. Knowing she needed time to process what he had said he simply ran his hand in a soothing motion across her back and through her hair.

Booth thought that she had fallen asleep because there had been no movement or sound from her during the last thirty minutes. When he attempted to move her into a lying position that is when she spoke.

"I believe you Booth." She was speaking so softly, he had to strain to hear her. "It makes no rational sense to believe such a promise because it's irrational to make such a promise but for some reason, I believe that you will keep me safe."

"I will Bones. I will." Booth whispered softly, kissing the top of her head.


	20. Chapter 20

**I own none of the characters of Bones**

"Sweetie, it's a beautiful day and I was thinking about going for a walk on the grounds. Would you like to join me?" Angela was standing inside the darkened room that her best friend has called her own for the past six weeks.

"No thank you." Temperance Brennan replied.

Angela's eyes quickly adjusted to the dark and she found her friend sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, exactly where she knew she would be. Since getting released and coming to the Hodgins mansion Bones has only left the room to go to her various doctor's appointments, usually once or twice a week. The therapist that Bones had been seeing had been coming to see her twice a week because it was too traumatic for her to leave. When she went to her other doctor's appointment, she had to take a mild sedative and Booth had to be by her side.

Since her hospital release, she has not seen anyone but Angela and Booth and out of the two of them she saw Booth more. Angela would come into the bedroom but the conversations were very strained. Now when Booth would come to visit, which he did every day when he got off work, she would talk, yell, cry and sometimes she just sat silently and stared at the darkened wall.

Angela wondered if the twice weekly therapy sessions were helping at all. Her friend stayed in a dark room all day, rarely talked to anyone and was terrified to leave her room but her therapist, insisted that was all a natural reaction to what she has been through but Angela wasn't so sure. She couldn't see how staying locked up in a dark room was healthy but Dr. Spencer assured them that his patient would eventually make her way out of the room. She just needed time and Angela was willing to give as much time as needed. It was just so hard seeing her alone and scared.

"Hodgins just got a new horse delivered and I hear she's a beauty. I was hoping that you would come with me to meet her."

"I'm not real fond of horses Angela."

"Dr. Spencer says that being around horses is a great form of therapy." Angela was desperate to get her out of the room.

"Maybe another day. I have a headache."

"Okay then well maybe you could join us for dinner downstairs in the dining room tonight? "

"We'll see." Angela bit back a sigh.

"If you need anything just yell okay sweetie."

"I will." Angela quietly slipped out of the room.

As soon as Angela closed the door Bones pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around her legs, laid her head down and her tears began to fall, like they always seemed to be doing lately. She wanted to go outside with Angela, get some fresh air but she couldn't make herself do it. She was so scared to go out and face the world again because the last time she did she was attacked simply because she was doing the right thing. She hated staying in her bedroom all day and being so scared that she wouldn't leave but she couldn't help it. Her brain refused to allow her to believe that she was safe even though Dr. Spencer, Angela and Booth constantly assured her that she was safe. She didn't know what safe was anymore. Sometimes she wished that Booth had never rescued her. She wished that they would have killed her. Everyday she asks herself way she was saved; why she was allowed to live and others had die? Since being rescued she has lost so much. She lost most of her friends, the job she loved, her home, her looks, and the only man she ever truly loved so what was the point? What did she have to live for?

* * *

"Hey Ange." Booth greeted when Angela opened the door.

"Come on in Booth."

"Hi Angela." Parker piped up.

"Hi little Booth. You can come in too." The Booth boys walked into the mansion.

"Wow." Parker breathed as he took in his surroundings.

"Pretty cool huh?" Booth asked.

"It's so cool."

"How is she?" Booth whispered as Parker began to wander.

"The same." Angela said sadly.

"Do you mind?" Booth motioned to Parker.

"Not at all." Angela turned to Parker. "Hey little Booth, would you like to go to the kitchen with me and get a snack?"

"No thank you. I just want to see Bones." Over the past six weeks Parker has been constantly begging his father to bring him to see his friend but Bones has been refusing to see him so Booth hasn't brought Parker until now.

"I need to go see her first Bub."

"To tell her I'm here." Parker asked and Booth nodded. He got tired of asking and her saying no to his requests to bring Parker so he decided just to bring him. Parker desperately missed her even though they talked on the phone every day.

"If you're not hungry we have a video game room that you can check out." Angela suggested.

"Really?"

"The T.V. in that room is a big as the wall."

"Okay but dad, you'll come and get me as soon as I can see Bones?"

"I sure will."

"Thanks Ange."

"No problem. Thank you Booth." He nodded and made his way to Bones' suite. He knew Angela was thanking him for trying to get through to Bones. He didn't feel like he was making much headway but at least she talked to him which was more than anyone else, besides Dr. Spencer was able to get out of her but she didn't open up to her therapist as much as she opened up to him. Once he got to her suite he knocked; not for permission to enter because he was going to enter regardless if she wanted him to or not. He knocked so he wouldn't scare her, something that happened easily.

"Hey Bones." Booth said as he entered the room. His eyes quickly moved to the corner of the room to the chair that he knew she would be sitting in.

"Hi Booth." She sniffed and he knew that she had been crying.

"Did something happen?' Booth went and grabbed the chair he always sat in and pulled it in front of hers and plopped into it.

"Nothing happened. " She mumbled.

"So why the tears?" He reached out and wiped away the lone tear that had fallen.

"I was just thinking about how much I've lost."

"What you've lost you can get back if you want it."

"Not everything." She knew she could never get back what she and Booth once had.

"Maybe not but maybe you can. You'll never know unless you try to get back what you've lost."

"Sometimes I wonder why I was rescued." She mused softly.

"Bones?"

"Sometimes I think that I should have died in that God-forsaken shack chained to a wall. Everyone would have been better off."

"Bullshit Temperance. None of us who loved, who still love you would have been better off."

"Then maybe I would have been better off."

"You're alive. It doesn't get better than that."

"Better for who? Not better for me. I am a horribly disfigured woman who is alone and terrified to leave this room." She stood and went to the window which was covered by a thick black curtain. She pulled it back a tiny bit and peaked outside. "This is as close as I get to the outside world so tell me Seeley Booth, what kind of life is this? Is this really what my life was saved for?"

"No it wasn't. I did not risk my life so you could just spend the rest of your life sitting in the dark."

"You shouldn't have risked your life for me; for this. I'm not worth it." Booth walked over to the window and pulled the curtain back; allowing the evening sun to fill the room and Bones quickly backed herself into a corner.

"You are worth it and I would do it again."

"Why?" She whispered tearfully.

"Because I love you and my life is better with you in it." It was silent for a few minutes. Just as Booth was getting ready to repeat his statement he heard her voice, barely above a whisper.

"You love me?" Booth walked over to the corner that she was in.

"I love you Temperance." He had waited two long months to tell her how he felt.

"No you don't. You can't."

"I do. I was angry. You hurt me and I have forgiven you and I never stopped loving you."

"That's not true. You were engaged and in love with Hannah, not me." Booth reached out to take her hand but she pulled away and shrunk even further back into the corner.

"You're right. I did love Hannah but I never stopped loving you. I just buried it deep inside myself but when you got hurt my feelings for you came rushing to the surface and Hannah saw what I was feeling for you and broke off our engagement."

"I'm…I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. It was meant to be and it probably saved Hannah and I lots of pain in the future. It would never have lasted between us. There should only be two people in a marriage not three."

"It's not too late Booth. Go back to Hannah and be happy."

"I can't be happy with Hannah. You are the only woman I can be happy with." Bones began to vehemently shake her head.

"No Booth. You will never be happy with me."

"I'm only truly happy with you."

"Look at me." She screamed, pointing at her face.

"I'm looking." He responded quietly.

"You could never be happy with someone like me. You deserve someone as beautiful as you are handsome and that someone is not me. I am hideous. I am ugly. Can you not see it? Are you blind?" Booth took one step forward and pulled the shaking woman into his arms. He then reached out and ran his fingers over her scar.

"I'm not blind. I see what happened to you both on the inside and outside and I am dazzled by it and you. You have been through so much and you survived."

"Barely." She mumbled.

"Barely or not, you survived sweetheart and you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

"But my face…"

"It's just a scar. It doesn't define who you are."

"Oh Booth." She laid her head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm here. I'm going to support and love you for as long as you need me too and then I'm going to support and love you just because I want to."

"It can't work Booth. It's all wrong. I'm all wrong."

"You're all right Bones. You are the right one for me."

"I can't leave this room. What kind of relationship is that?"

"Then we'll get you out of this room and into the world again." She shook her head.

"I...can't." She looked at him with tears swimming in her eyes. "I'm scared. I'm not safe out there. It's safe in here."

"It may be safe but it's not healthy Bones."

"I can't do it."

"Yes you can. You can do anything that you put your mind too. I know that's it's scary out there…"

"NO!" She shouted. "You have no idea how scary it is."

"I know you're scared but do you want to feel scared like this for the rest of your life?"

"No." She mumbled.

"Then it's time that we do something about it."

"We?"

"Yes Bones. We. I am going to do whatever I can to help you live the life you had prior to all of this. The first time you go outside I will be right beside you, whispering in your ear that you are safe when you get scared."

"Why? After what happened the last time why would you want to do this for me…again?"

"Because I love you Temperance."

"But…"

"No buts. What happened before is in the past and it's going to stay there."

"I don't deserve you or your love and support. I deserve to be alone."

"You don't deserve to be alone. You deserve all the love and support that I can give you." The tears that Bones had been attempting to hold back began to fall hard and fast. Booth tightened his hold on her, slowly led her to the chair she had been occupying, he sat and then eased her down on his lap. She buried her head in his neck and sobbed while Booth simply held her and let her cry everything out.

"I thought that I was alone…that I would always be alone." She whispered once she calmed down.

"I have wanted to tell you for so long about my feelings but I was worried that you weren't ready to hear them but tonight, when you said that you insinuated that you wish you had died or were dead, I just couldn't hold back anymore. I hope that I didn't scare you off or freak you out."

"You didn't." She told him.

"I don't expect you to feel the same or if you do, I don't expect anything to happen until you are good and ready. I just had to tell you so you knew how much you are loved and how glad that I am that you are here, alive and well."

"I'm not well. I'm not anywhere close to well."

"We or you can change that, one small step at a time."

"How?"

"Well the first thing we can try is coming out of this room without any medication."

"I…can't." Her voice was shaking with fear.

"Yes you can. I'll be right beside you and besides there is someone here to see you."

"Who?" Booth didn't answer her. He knew she would figure it out on her own and a minute later she did. "Parker?"

"Yep. Parker is here. He is downstairs playing video games."

"Why Booth? Why would you bring him to see me, like this?"

"I brought him because he loves and misses you, his friend and the scar you have will never change that."

"He'll be scared…of me."

"He's twelve years old Bones. He doesn't scare easily."

"I don't know."

"He wants to see you. I've been putting him off since you woke up at the hospital. At first it was easy because I just told him that the hospital wouldn't allow children to visit."

"Is that true?" Booth shook his head. "You lied to your son?"

"I told you before sometimes it's acceptable to lie to a child and you didn't want to see him so I lied to him."

"It's not that I didn't want to see him. I just didn't want him to see me."

"I understand that and that's why I lied to him but since you have been here, it's been a long six weeks telling him that he couldn't come and see you and you have no idea how annoying that boy can be when he wants something that he can't have."

"Yes I do." Bones said with a small smile. "He gets it from his father."

"Bones did you just make a joke?"

"No. I was stating a fact."

"I've missed that." Booth traced the outline of her lips with a finger.

"Missed what?"

"Your beautiful smile." Bones couldn't help herself, she smiled again. "Just beautiful." Booth murmured, staring into her sad blue eyes. Along with her smile he missed the sparkle that he used to see and he hoped one day, he would see it again. Caught up in the moment, Booth slowly lowered his head and softly pressed his lips to hers and that's all it was; a simple kiss, a connection. Bones didn't respond to the kiss but she didn't pull away either, which Booth took as a good sign. "So are you ready to go downstairs to see Parker and eat some dinner?"

"I want to see Parker but…"

"I won't leave your side." She slowly nodded and stood. Booth quickly stood as well and the two of them linked hands. Booth began to walk to towards the door and Bones followed and when they stepped out into the hall Booth turned to her. "Welcome back."

The two of them walked through the enormous house to the media room. Coming down the hall, they could hear the surround sound of the video game seeping out of the room and Bones immediately tensed up and only slightly relaxed once Booth reminded her that she was hearing Parker's game.

"Parker." Booth said loudly when they entered the room but no one heard him. "PARKER!" Booth shouted causing everyone in the room to jump, including Bones who was standing right next to Booth, clutching his hand.

"BONES!" Parker shouted when he saw his beloved friend. He dropped his controller mid game because his game wasn't nearly important as his friend and he rushed into her outstretched arms. Parker's embrace was so powerful that Bones fell to her knees while her arms were still wrapped around Booth's son. From the floor, Bones looked up at Booth and even though she had tears running down her face, she was smiling.

"I've missed you so much." Parker told her through his tears.

"I've missed you too." Bones responded.

"Then you should have let my dad bring me over to see you." Booth grinned at Parker's statement.

"You're right. I should have." She admitted as the two of them broke their embrace and she stood.

"Why didn't you want to see me?"

"It wasn't that you Parker. I didn't and still don't want to really see anyone and I didn't want anyone to see me."

"Why?" Booth knew Parker wasn't going to let this conversation go until he got the answers he wanted. Booth considered telling Parker to lay off but he figured that Bones needed to talk about what she had been feeling, even if it was with a twelve year old kid.

"Did your father tell you what happened to me?" Parker nodded. "Because of that, I got and am still very scared of going outside and being around people."

"Are you afraid that someone will hurt you again?"

"I am."

"Dad won't let anyone hurt you ever again. He will protect you." Booth grinned proudly.

"I know that he will try but he may not be able to." Parker shook his head.

"No Bones. My dad will always protect you won't you dad?"

"I will." Bones smiled softly. She wanted to believe the child.

"I'm not going to keep you away or hide anymore. Your dad is going to help me become brave again and face the world."

"You are brave Bones. Next to my dad you are the bravest person that I know."

"I'm not Parker. "

"Yes you are. You just forgot how brave you are but don't worry. My dad and I will help you remember." Tears filled the anthropologist's eyes.

"Thank you Parker."

"You're welcome." After another hug and kiss Parker and Bones went over to the couch so Bones could catch up on Parker's life over the past two months while Angela walked over to Booth and she hugged him tightly.

"You got through to her." Angela whispered as the two of them watched Parker and Bones.

"I hope so. She really scared me Ange. She was saying that she wished she was never rescued; that she would have been better off having not been rescued."Tears filled his eyes and he shook his head. "I can't blame her for being afraid. Hell, if I would have had to go through everything that she has had to go through, I would be afraid too but I love her too much to watch her waste her life in a dark bedroom. I won't let her."

"You're a good man Seeley Booth."

"She's a good woman Angela. She's the best."

* * *

For the first time in six weeks Bones had dinner with someone else besides herself or Booth. She joined Hodgins, Angela, Parker and Booth in the dining room for a lovely, fun-filled dinner. After dinner, the group took their dessert of ice cream sundaes to the media room for a movie on the big screen. They all decided on a comedy that was age appropriate for Parker. On one of the couches sat Bones with a Booth boy on either side of her with her leaning against Booth and Parker leaning against her and that was the first moment in months that Temperance Brennan felt safe.

After the movie it was late and it had been an emotionally exhausting day so everyone was tired and ready for bed except for Parker. He did not want to leave. There was part of him that was afraid that if he left, he would lose his friend for another two months. When Hodgins suggested that Parker and Booth spend the night or weekend if they wanted since there was plenty of room and Parker had his packed bag in his dad's car, he was all over it. At first, Booth resisted but when he saw the hope in Bones' eyes he agreed.

After Parker and Bones said goodnight, Parker went into the room he was going to be sharing with his father while Booth walked Bones to the room across the hall. She felt safer just knowing that he would be across the hall from her.

"You did real good tonight Bones. I'm proud of you." Booth told her as they stood in the hall, in front of her bedroom door.

"Why? I didn't do anything but eat dinner and watch a movie."

"Out of your room with your friends; with your family."

"My family?"

"Yeah Bones. Family. All of us, me, you, Parker, Angela and Hodgins, we are all family."

"Being with you, being around you, especially tonight, I feel safer than I have felt in a long time."

"I'm glad and you're going to continue to feel safer every day."

"What if I can't get through this?"

"You will and Angela and I will be right beside you the whole time, helping you every step of the way." Bones wrapped her arms around Booth's neck.

"Thank you." She whispered tearfully.

"You are very welcome." Booth pulled back slightly, looked deeply into her blue eyes. Leaning forward he gently kissed her and this time she responded. It wasn't a big response but she did move her lips against his and his heart soared.

Unbeknownst to the couple in the hallway the door across the hall had been cracked opened enough for a pair of brown eyes to peek through the door. When the eyes saw the two kiss a huge smile crossed his face and it took all the self control that he could muster not to screech in delight. When he saw them break apart he closed the door and jumped into bed seconds before his dad walked into the room.

"You still awake?"

"Yep." Parker was excited that the two of them would be sharing a room.

"Brush your teeth?"

"Yep." Booth looked intently at his son.

"Liar. Go brush your teeth." Parker groaned.

"Yes sir."

Ten minutes later Booth was turning off the light and climbing into the giant king sized bed that he was sharing with Parker. Lying next to Parker, reminded him of when Parker was little and during their weekends together, Parker wouldn't want to sleep alone in his room so for years he camped out in his father's bed until he began kicking and socking his father in his face on a nightly basis. Booth loved lying in the dark listening to his child breathe. It always reminded him that regardless of what he did in his life, past and present, that he did one amazing thing when he took part in creating the wonderful human being that was lying beside him.

"Dad?" Booth grinned. It never failed. Parker always wanted to have a conversation just as his father was drifting off to sleep.

"Yeah?"

"I know what happened to Bones."

"I know you do. You saw it on the news, I told you and we talk about it all the time."

"Not that. I know what happened to her before."

"Parker?"

"When Bones went on that dig she was kidnapped and raped for two weeks."

"How? Who told you?"

"It's called the internet dad. When Bones got attacked at the courthouse it was all over the news and internet. I was reading the articles and there were links to other articles."

"And you clicked on them." Booth sighed. "Your mother should really keep better tabs on you and the internet." He grumbled.

"I was at school."

"I see."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"It wasn't my story to tell and Bones, she didn't want you to know."

"Why?"

"Prior to what just happened to her, it was the worst thing she had ever experienced. She went through two weeks of living hell and that really messed her up. Before she left for that trip we were together."

"Like boyfriend-girlfriend?"

"Yep. We loved each other and that all changed when she came back."

"You didn't love her because of what happened to her? That's terrible."

"And not true. I still loved her; I never stopped and she loved me. She just couldn't express or show it to me."

"Cause she was afraid that you were hurt her?"

"Yeah."

"You wouldn't hurt her, ever."

"I know that, you know that, and know she knows that but there for awhile she didn't."

"Is that why you two broke up?"

"Part of it."

"Well what's the other part?"

"You're awfully nosy aren't you?" Parker just grinned and even the dark Booth could see it.

"Well?"

"It's none of your business young man."

"Dad I'm twelve years old. I'm not a kid anymore."

"Yes you are and I don't care how old you are. I'm not giving my child details about my adult relationship."

"Fine." Parker rolled over and this time it was Booth that did the smiling.

"Look Bub, don't tell Bones that you know what happened to her. Let's just keep it between you and me okay?"

"Sure."

"Don't be mad."

"I'm not. You wanna know what I am?"

"What are you?"

"Happy. I am happy that you and Bones are back together." Booth began to cough in surprise.

"We're not back together." He was being honest with his son. He didn't know for a fact if they were back together. He hoped to hell that he and Bones would end up together but he didn't want to get his son's hopes up.

"Yeah sure you're not." Parker giggled. "Goodnight dad."

"Goodnight Parker."

**_Thanks for reading. _**


	21. Chapter 21

Parker had been asleep for about twenty minutes but Booth had been unable to fall asleep. He couldn't stop thinking about Bones and what had happened between them tonight. Sure, to most people it wasn't much but to him, it was huge. A brick from the wall she had built around herself fell and Booth felt that tonight, Bones took the first step in healing.

Since he was unable to sleep he decided to go across the hall and check on Bones. His gut was telling him that she needed to be checked on and he never ignored his gut. He climbed out of bed, put his pants on, made sure Parker was still sleeping then he quietly snuck out of the room and shuffled across the hall. He knocked softly on the door. He figured that if she was awake then she would know he was coming in and if she was sleeping than she wouldn't wake. He opened the door and found her sitting up in bed, knees pulled to her chest and she was staring out the window into the dark night.

"Hello Booth." She said softly, never looking away from the window.

"Hey Bones." He sat next to her. "See anything interesting out there?"

"No. Just blackness. Just darkness."

"Then why are you looking out there?"

"I like the dark. No one can see in the dark and I like that. No one can see me."

"Why don't you want anyone to see you?"

"It's better that way."

"Bones, you can't live your life in the dark." '

"I feel safer in the dark. No one can see me and I have an advantage over everyone since my eyes have already adjusted to the dark so if someone comes in I will see them before they see me."

"Bones no one is coming for you. You are safe."

"You don't know that."

"Hodgins has excellent security. No one is getting in this house Temperance."

"What happens when I go outside again? Hodgins security team can't protect me outside."

"I'll protect you Temperance."

"You can't, you won't always be around."

"Yes I will. Bones, why are you looking for excuses not to come out into the world again?"

"I'm scared Booth. I am so damn scared."

"I know you are but for every step you take the braver you will be and for every step you take, I will be right next to you." Since the moonlight was shining on her face Booth could see the tears and fear in her blue eyes.

"Do you promise?"

"I promise Bones."

"I want to believe you Booth, I really do but…"

"No buts Bones. I want you to get better and for that to happen, you are going to need my support and you'll have it no matter what it takes." Bones laid her head against Booth's shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her.

"I would like to discuss with you what you told me earlier."

"What I told you earlier?"

"You love me. You told me that you love me."

"Yes I did."

"Was that just a statement you made in the moment?"

"No. It was a statement from the heart."

"I thought…" Her voice trailed off.

"You thought what?"

"I thought I lost your love. I didn't think that I would never hear you say those words to me again."

"Honestly, after what happened I didn't think that I would ever say those words to you again but as it turns out I couldn't stop loving you. Maybe I should have fought more for us or maybe I just gave up to easily but…"

"You fought for us, for me. You fought harder for me than anyone has fought for me before and that's all that I could ask for."

"I'll always fight for you. I just need you to fight for yourself. Are you ready to do that?"

"If you would have asked me that a few hours ago I would have said no. I thought that I had nothing to live for. I thought that I was alone but apparently I was wrong."

"You were very wrong Bones. You aren't alone."

"I know that now so to answer your previous question, yes Booth I am ready to fight for myself, for my life." Booth placed his thumb under her chin and lifted her face up towards him.

"You have no idea how long I have wanted to hear those words." Tears filled Booth's eyes. "You fight and I'll fight with you and one day, you will have the life that you deserve."

"A life with you?"

"If that's what you want then yeah, we will have a life together."

"I want that Booth but what about if I can't ever come out of this room."

"You're a fighter Bones and I know that if you want to come out of this room then you will but if you can't then I guess Hodgins will have another person in this mansion cause I will be moving in."

"You would do that for me? Give up your apartment, your life for me?"

"I wouldn't be giving up anything. I would be gaining so much. I would have you." He smiled tenderly at her.

"I love you Booth." Booth reached out, gently wiped her falling tears and then leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. Bones turned her body slightly so she was facing him. Her lips moved against his; her mouth opened and the kiss deepened. Bones wrapped her arms around his neck and lost herself in the kiss. Booth placed one hand on the back of her neck and the other on the side of her face with her burn. The instant his fingers grazed her burn she jerked away from him.

"Did I hurt you?" He gasped.

"No. I…just…please don't touch it or even look at it." She pulled away from Booth, hiding her burn behind her hand.

"Bones, you don't have to hide your burn from me."

"It's horrible. I am so ugly and I don't want you to see it or me like that."

"That burn makes no difference to me. You are beautiful to me with or without the burn."

"That's not possible." She whispered.

"It is possible and in time, I know that you will believe that too." He reached out, pulled her hand away from the burn and gently caressed it. "Beautiful. So beautiful." He mumbled placing his lips on her neck and for a few minutes, with his lips on her neck she forgot about the hell she had been through.

"I should get back into my room before Parker wakes and notices that I am not there." Booth said, reluctantly pulling away from Bones. He knew if he didn't pull away now he wouldn't be able to pull away and he didn't think Bones was ready for that yet.

"Can you stay for just a few more minutes until I fall asleep? I have trouble falling asleep."

"Of course I will." Bones pulled away from Booth, got under the covers and Booth laid next to her, wrapping an arm around her, holding her tightly. "Sleep well Bones." Booth whispered into the darkness. "I love you."

"Goodnight Booth. I love you."

* * *

Booth found himself sneaking back into the bedroom he was sharing with Parker a few minutes after eight the next morning. He had only planned on staying in Bones' room until she fell asleep but he ended up fall asleep, not waking until morning.

"Morning Dad, did you sleep good?" Parker spoke up from under the covers, causing Booth to jump.

"I…uh…I was looking for coffee." Booth stuttered. Parker rolled over and sat up.

"You are such a bad liar. I woke a few times last night and you weren't in here."

"Well I…"

"Really dad? Are you going to try and lie your way out of this? I know that you spent the night in Bones' room."

"You know no such thing."

"I have no proof cause I didn't want to snoop in case I would see something that I shouldn't see." Parker grinned and Booth rolled his eyes.

"Fine, I was in Bones' room. We were talking late last night and I ended up falling asleep."

"This is so cool." A goofy smile crossed Booth's face.

"Yeah Bub, it is cool. It is very cool."

Thirty minutes later the Booth boys were freshly showered and ready to begin their day. Together, they stepped out of their shared room and across the hall to Bones' where Parker knocked and a minute later the door opened. "Good morning." Bones greeted.

"Morning Bones." Parker wrapped his arms around her in a hug. Once Parker pulled away from Bones the three of them stood in the hallway, Booth and Bones looking at each other and Parker looking at the two of them with a knowing grin. "You guys know you want to so go ahead and do it." He told them.

"Do what?" Bones asked.

"Kiss."

"Well I…um…we…" Bones didn't know what to say.

"He's right Bones so we might as well do what the boy says."

"But shouldn't we…" Bones never got to finish her sentence because Booth surprised her by leaning forward and pressing his lips to hers.

"Good morning." He whispered when they finally broke apart.

"Good morning." She responded looking into his brown eyes and seeing nothing but love in them.

"Did you sleep well last night cause I know dad did?"

"Parker knock it off." Booth warned.

"I slept very well. Thank you for asking."

"Let's go have breakfast."

After everyone enjoyed breakfast Booth and Parker managed to convince Bones to take a walk outside to the stables. She hasn't been outside without a sedative since her attack so to say that she was anxious was an understatement.

"I…I…can't breathe." Bones gasped, clutching Booth's hands.

"Yes you can. Take slow deep breaths."

"I…"

"Bones you're safe. Look around. The sun is shining. It's a beautiful day. Take a deep breath and inhale the fresh air."

"I want to go back inside." They were five feet away from the door. She turned to go back inside but Booth held firmly to her.

"No. You aren't going inside. You're fine."

"I'm not fine. I'm scared. I want to go inside." She was sobbing softly.

"Fine go but if you do go inside then the fear wins and I thought you were going to fight."

"I'm sorry." She pulled away from Booth and rushed to the porch. Booth started after her and Parker followed.

"Hey Bones did you know that I used to be afraid to swim?" Parker asked before Bones had a chance to retreat back inside the house.

"What?" Her voice was full of confusion.

"I used to be afraid to swim." Booth was curious to see where Parker was going with this so he let this conversation continue.

"But you love swimming."

"Yeah. Now I do. When I was a kid…" Booth had to grin at that comment because Parker was still a kid. "Dad and I were swimming at some pool. Dad was already in the water and I was on my way in but I slipped on the wet cement and fell into the water. I guess I swallowed some water when I fell in and I started choking while I was under water. I thought that I was going to drown but of course dad was right there and had a hold of me the whole time."

"I'm sure that was scary." Bones sniffed and Parker nodded.

"After I fell in the water I was scared to go swimming. Even though swimming was my favorite thing to do I was scared to swim. I thought that I would drown if I went swimming again so I didn't swim for a long time." Booth was immensely proud of his twelve year old son.

"How did you overcome your fear of swimming?" Bones asked him softly.

"My dad helped me. He took me swimming and told me that he wouldn't let me drown. He told me, he promised that he would make sure that I would not drown and guess what? He kept his promise and he made sure that I didn't drown."

"You're father kept you safe." Bones concluded from this story.

"He promised me he would and he did." Parker walked over and kissed Bones' cheek. "I think Angela is yelling for me." He told them as he walked off of the porch.

"Angela is not calling for him." Bones said as Parker descended down the porch stairs.

"No she isn't."

"I don't believe that was a random story that decided to tell."

"No it wasn't. My boy is smart."

"He was reassuring me that you would keep your promise to keep me safe." Booth nodded. "I trust you Booth. It's the world that I don't trust."

"No one really trusts the world. It's a scary place." Booth reached out his hand. "One step at a time."

"I really would like a Xanax right now."

"I'm your Xanax Bones." Slowly, Bones wiped her tears and linked her fingers with his.

"One step at a time."

* * *

"Temperance Brennan. You can come back now."

"Are you coming?" Bones asked fearfully.

"If you want me to." Booth answered.

"I can't go without you."

"Let's go."

Bones was at her appointment with the plastic surgeon, her first without a sedative. It had been a week since Booth and Parker's weekend visit and since then she has come out of the Hodgins mansion. She had been coping fine on the grounds without a sedative as long as Booth was close by. Today was her first visit off the grounds.

"How are you doing?" Booth asked her once they were alone in the room.

"Fine." She snapped but Booth knew he was far from fine.

"You're blood pressure was really high."

"What do you know about blood pressure?"

"The nurse said it was high."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not." She was pale; she was sweating; she was shaking and her eyes were full of unshed nervous tears. "Take some deep breath Bones."

"I want a damn Xanax."

"You don't need one sweetheart. You are going to be fine."She was shaking her head.

"Booth…please I…" Suddenly the door to the exam room opened. Bones shrieked and jumped behind Booth. He could feel her tiny body shaking behind him. He turned around and cradled her to his chest.

"Shhh. It's okay Bones." He crooned in an attempt to soothe her soft sobs. "It's just the doctor. You're safe."

"I'm sorry I startled you Temperance."

"I…I guess that I should get used to it." Booth handed her his handkerchief and she blew her nose. "Thanks." She attempted to return the handkerchief.

"No. You keep it." He led her to the exam table and she sat down but never let go of his hand.

"How are you feeling Temperance?"

"Fine." She mumbled.

"You're blood pressure is high."

"I'm nervous."

"We'll check it again at the end of the appointment." Bones nodded. "Now, I'm going to examine your burn okay." She nodded but stiffened as the doctor examined her.

While the surgeon examined Bones, Booth held her hand and rubbed her back with his free hand, reminding her that he was there and she was safe and after a few minutes she stopped shaking and her breathing returned to normal.

"The burn is healing well. Any problems with your eye or sight?" The acid had hit her eyelid when she closed her eyes.

"None."

"If you want the surgery the burn has healed enough. Is that something that you still want?"

"It is."

"Now once the surgery is complete it will take about six weeks for you to heal and then if necessary, we will then do another graft."

"Where will the skin be grafted from?"

"Your thigh." Bones nodded.

"Will I have to take immunosuppressants?"

"No. The skin is coming from your body so your body won't think that it is foreign because it's not."

"Is there any way that you can do a hair transplant for my eyebrows?" Due to the burn, Bones lost her eyebrows and lashes of the affected eye.

"Unfortunately no. I do have the name of a tattoo artist that some of my patients use. He is very talented, very clean and very safe. He can tattoo eyebrows on and no one will know that you have a tattoo."

"Thank you. I will consider it." She took the number from the doctor. "What about scaring? After the surgery will I have scars?"

"Yes Temperance there will be scars. The burn affected all three layers of tissue so there is only so much I can do. When the surgery is done, yes there will be scaring but the damage won't be as obvious. By the time I am done, there will be a marked improvement."

"I…I…don't want scars." She whispered tearfully.

"It doesn't matter." Booth whispered. "Remember what I said. You are beautiful with or without scars." Bones simply nodded. Booth knew she wasn't ready to believe him yet but in time, he hoped that she would.

The plastic surgeon discussed the surgery with the two of them and answered questions that they had. Bones had done her research and they were sitting in the best plastic surgeon's office in D.C. Dr. Baker, does not do any non- medically induced cosmetic procedures, meaning he didn't perform any procedures on patients who wanted to change their body without a medical reason. Skin grafts on burn victims, repaired cleft palates and lips and breast implants on women who had mastectomies due to breast cancer were just some of the procedures Dr. Baker did and that was important to Bones because any other reason for plastic surgery, she did not agree with. Walking out of the office with Booth holding her hand, Bones felt confident in Dr. Baker's hands.


	22. Chapter 22

"I'm going to remove the bandages now Temperance and while I do that I need you to sit perfectly still." Dr. Baker instructed his patient. Temperance nodded, closed her eyes and reached for Booth's hand

"I'm right here." Booth reminded her. Six weeks ago Bones had her plastic surgery to try and repair some of the damage done by the acid that was thrown on her. Today the bandages were coming off.

Over the past six weeks when he wasn't working Booth has spent every free minute with Bones. He slept next to her in her bed every night and finally, Bones quit having nightmares. When Parker came to spend the weekend with his dad and his Bones he had the room across the hall from Bones' room. Parker loved the temporary living arrangement simply because he had access to a pool, horses, an amazing media room and Bones.

Booth had practically moved into the Hodgins' mansion and it wasn't a bad thing because the house was amazing but he was ready to go back on his own. He was more than ready to move back to his house and he wanted to take Bones with him but he wasn't sure if they were ready. She could not be alone. During the day she was at the mansion she was surrounded by Hodgins' staff and the two bodyguards that she had hired but the instant Booth stepped into the house Bones attached herself to his side and never left.

Booth also thought it would be good for Bones if she returned to work. Lately, she had been consulting from the comfort of the mansion and Booth noted some life coming back to her when she started the consulting but so far she refused to return to work. She was still terrified of the world.

"It looks good Temperance. Would you like to see it?" Dr. Baker asked.

"Do I want to see it Booth?"

"I can't make that decision for you but you can't avoid mirrors forever."

"I would like to see it." Dr. Baker handed his patient a mirror. Bones slowly put the hand held mirror in front of her face. She turned her face until she could see what had been recently revealed.

"Now the redness will fade away in a few weeks."

"What about the scars?" She whispered.

"We talked about this Temperance. The scars will remain." Bones simply nodded and placed the mirror on her lap.

"Bones compared to what it looked like before you had the surgery it's so much better."

"I still have scars." She whispered tearfully.

"You're always going to have scars sweetheart." Tears filled her eyes. Her head dropped down and tears fell from her eyes and onto her lap.

* * *

"So I was thinking that after we pick up Parker the three of us stop for some pizza." Booth suggested on their way to pick Parker up for the weekend.

"I'm not hungry." She whispered.

"Bones you haven't ate anything today."

"I am aware of that."

"So maybe you should eat some dinner."

"Can we just pick something up and take it home?"

"Parker really wants to go to the new pizza joint on Whitmore. There is an arcade that he wants to try."

"Then please take me home and you and Parker can partake in pizza and arcade fun."

"Parker wants you there."

"I don't want to go." She snapped and Booth gave up. He knew it was useless to push her right now.

"Fine. We'll just pick up a pizza on the way home."

"Don't do that. Just take me home and then you and Parker go out and spend the evening together."

"If you are sure?"

"I am." Booth wanted to push her. He knew he needed to push her but now was not the time because he was pulling into Rebecca's driveway.

"You wanna come with?" Booth asked and Bones just shook her head. He figured as much. "I'll be right back." Booth bit back a sigh and climbed out of his SUV.

Halfway up to the house, Rebecca's front door swung open and Parker ran out, looking rather excited. "Hey dad."

"Heya bub."

"Jacob just called me and his dad won tickets to the game tonight at work and he wants me to go with him. I would have called you sooner but we just hung up the phone. Please dad. Please can I go?"

"What did your mom say?" Booth had every intention of letting Parker go as long as Rebecca was okay with it.

"She said it's up to you since it's your weekend."

"I'm fine with it. Do I need to take you to Jake's?"

"Would you?"

"Sure."

"Since it will be late when we get home Jacob's dad said that I can spend the night. Can I?"

"No problem. Grab your gear." With a grin Parker ran inside with Booth following him so he could verify with his ex that Parker wasn't in any trouble on her end. Like most kids with parents that aren't together he likes to play one against the other but Booth and Rebecca are on to him. If he is punished at one house that punishment continues at the other house and rules are the same in both houses.

Five minutes later Parker and Booth were climbing into the SUV. From the back Parker leaned between the seats and kissed Bones' cheek. "Hiya Bones."

"Hi Parker." She turned and gave him a soft smile.

"Hey, you got your bandages off." He observed.

"Yes I did."

"I'll bet you are glad that they are off."

"Huh uhh." Bones mumbled. Sensing something was wrong with Bones, Parker changed the subject and him and his father spent the remainder of the ride talking about the game he was going to.

"All right bub, be good."

"I will."

"Make sure that you thank Jacob's dad for taking you."

"I will." Booth pulled out his wallet and handed his son forty dollars. He figured that would cover his dinner, snacks at the game and a souvenir.

"Call me when you wake up and I'll come and get you."

"I will."

"Have fun."

"I will." Booth shot a glare at his son because he was tired of hearing "I will." Parker laughed, which brought a small smile to Bones' face. "Bye Bones. Have a good night." Parker told her as he got out of the SUV.

"You too Parker."

"By the way, you look beautiful without those bandages." Before she could respond, he shut the door and ran into his friend's house.

As he backed out of the driveway he glanced at his seatmate and saw tears streaming down her face. Not acknowledging that he saw her tears he drove them someplace that had always meant something to the two of them. It seemed to be a place where they could always talk.

"What are we doing here?" She asked when he parked.

"It's a nice night for a walk." Booth got out before she could argue and went around to her side and opened the passenger door. "Come on walk with me."

"I don't want to walk."

"It really wasn't a question."

"I. Do. Not. Want. To. Go. For. A. Walk."

"Please Bones, walk with me." He reached for her hand and pulled her out of the SUV, surprising him when she didn't put up a fight.

He threaded his fingers through hers and they walked silently on the mall. It was a cool night and there weren't many people around. They walked slowly, each lost in their own thoughts. "Nice night isn't?"

"It's rather cool for this time of year."

"Look how clear the sky is. There are so many stars out tonight." Booth commented.

"The numbers of stars in the sky is always constant. The same amount of stars were out yesterday and will be there tomorrow." Booth grinned. She could always be counted on to set him right.

"Let's sit." They had approached their bench.

"Booth it's cold."

"And you have a coat. If you get too cold, I will give you my coat too. You'll be fine." He sat and pulled her down next to him, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close to him. "There. Now you'll stay warm."

"Thank you." She whispered softly. Booth turned his body slightly, cupped her scarred cheek with his free hand and kissed her softly.

"You are so beautiful." He told her when he finally pulled away from her. He ran a finger around her scars.

"I once was but not anymore."

"That is such crap Bones." She glared at him. "With or without the scars, you are still so beautiful." She shook her head. "When I look at you, I don't see your scars."

"That's impossible Booth. If you are looking at my face, then you have to see the scars."

"Okay then, yes I see them, but they don't define you. When I look at you I don't think about the scars. I just think that you are the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen." Booth wiped away the silent tears that were falling with his thumb.

"People….they stare at me."

"They are staring because you are with a hottie like me." A smile found its way to her lips. "They stare because they don't understand what happened to you."

"What is there not to understand? Anyone can tell that I was burnt as soon they look at me."

"Okay, people can tell that you were burnt by looking at you but those people don't matter. They don't know that you were burnt because you did you part in putting a criminal behind bars where he belongs. I know the truth and so does everyone who loves you. Bones look at me." She had turned eyes to the ground. "Bones, please." She slowly raised her eyes to meet his. "I love you. I love you so much and those scars on your face don't and will never change that." She laid her head on his chest and cried. "You have always been a very beautiful woman and I know that being beautiful is important to you but sweetheart, you still are beautiful. Just a different kind of beautiful."

"Do you really believe that?" She sniffed.

"I do and one day you will believe it too."

"I want to. I really want to."

"I have a few ideas that may help."

"What ideas?"

"I think that you should return to work."

"How in the hell will that help me?"

"Since you have been consulting from home, I have seen a change in you. When I watch you looking at x-rays, you look happy again. Working with your bones, it's what makes you happy."

"I am happy with you, Parker and Angela."

"I know that but you will be happier working again." She sighed.

"I want to work again Booth…I miss it so much."

"But?"

"I'm scared. I still can't come out of the house without an antianxiety medication because I am terrified of everyone and everything. How can I possibly work?"

"Tom and Brian can come to work with you." Tom and Brian were the guards that they had hired to stay with her during the day while Jack, Angela and Booth worked.

"But…someone might…"

"No Bones. No one will be able to get to you. The security at the lab is top notch and plus you will have Tom and Brian and they will keep you safe. I promise, you will be safe in the lab."

"You are forgetting one thing Booth."

"What's that Temperance?"

"I don't have a job at the lab anymore." Booth did not smile, even though he wanted to. She was backing down.

"Yes you do. Cam told me that whenever you ready to come back to work, your office is waiting for you."

"Why?"

"Huh?" Booth was confused.

"I don't understand why Cam would want me back after what happened. I destroyed the team that we built. Why would she ever want to work with me again?"

"She's knows that you weren't yourself. As far as Cam is concerned you paid your dues. The team is back together and there is an empty office ready to be filled. So what do you say Dr. Brennan?"

"I…I…don't know."

"What if I work out of the lab for a couple of days, until you are comfortable?"

"What about if I am not comfortable after a couple of days?"

"I have a feeling that won't be an issue but if it is I will stay until I know you are comfortable."

"What about if I can't do it? What about if I can't do what I love anymore?"

"I think you can but we will cross the bridge if we get to it."

"You'll be there…"

"I'll be there. I'll always be there when you need me."

"You always have been before."

"And it's not going to change sweetheart. I love you and I'm never going anywhere." Bones laid her head on his shoulder.

"Every day that I wake up next to you I realize how damn lucky I am to be lying next to you I watch you sleep and I wonder why you forgave me. I wonder why you love me." Booth leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"I wonder the same things. I wonder why you love me. I forgave you because I love you and we forgive those we love and as for why I love you, I could spend the rest of the night giving you the reasons that I love you but simply, I love you because you are you."

"Do it." She requested.

"Do what?"

"Tell me the reasons." Booth grinned.

"You got it." Booth spent the next hour, giving her reason after reason, example after example of why he loved her until he realized she fell asleep.

* * *

"Angela, I'm not sure about this." Bones told her friend nervously.

"It will be fine sweetie. Claire is the best in the business." Since Bones had agreed to return to work there were a few changes that she wanted to make. She decided to get her eyebrows tattooed on. She researched the tattoo artist that Dr. Baker recommended. She saw pictures of the work he has done and she spoken with some of his clients, fellow burn victims who were very happy with his work. She contacted him and he agreed to come over and tattoo eyebrows on her.

The second change was to her hair. She wanted a style that would cover her burn. She tried to go to the salon but it didn't even make it in the door. Booth was with her but the salon was in a crowed plaza and there were so many people, strangers, that Bones panicked and fled to Booth's SUV in tears so Angela made a few phone calls, pulled a few strings and her stylist, Claire was waiting for Bones at the mansion.

"You'll stay with me?" Even though it was just one woman, Bones didn't want to be alone with her. She couldn't be alone with anyone she did not know.

"Of course I will. It's my job as your best friend to make sure that you get the perfect hair style." Angela took her friend's hand. "Come on. "

Over the next hour Claire cut, colored and styled Bones' hair. For the first time in a long time Bones let herself relax and enjoy some girl time with her best friend. When her new haircut was finally revealed to her she loved it and for once, when she looked in the mirror she didn't see her scars. Maybe it was because her new haircut did what she wanted. It covered most of her scars.

"You look gorgeous." Angela gushed.

"Thanks." Bones answered softly, looking in the mirror.

"Do you want me to go get Booth?"

"No. Not yet. I don't want him to see me until everything is done."

"You got it." Bones paid Claire and then Ben, the tattoo artist took her place. Bones watched with a critical eye as Ben set up his equipment. He showed her that everything he was using is sterile. Ben explained the procedure and once she was comfortable, she laid down.

"Now, it's going to hurt but it's important that you remain very still. If you don't then you can end up with very crooked eyebrows that can't be plucked." Ben joked.

"We wouldn't want that." Angela said.

"I can be still."

The next few hours were pretty miserable for the anthropologist. The area above the eyes is sensitive and hers were especially sensitive due to her burns. She lay perfectly still, squeezing Angela's hands. Booth came to check a few times but Bones insisted that he not be allowed in so he had to be assured that she was fine.

"So what do you think?" Ben asked. Bones had been looking in the mirror at Ben's work.

"It's amazing. It looks real."

"That was the goal. Now make sure you keep lotion on it for the next few weeks to avoid any scabbing."

"Thank you so much." She said tearfully.

"I'm just doing my job."

"You are very talented."

"Awe, it's nothing."Bones handed Ben his well earned fee.

"No it's not something. For me and the people like me who have lost the physical attributes that made us who we are; you gave that back. Sure, it may just be a tattoo of eyebrows but you have given me so much more." A tear slipped out of her eye. "Thank you." She repeated.

"Before I started tattooing I was an artist and I drew portraits. As an artist, I loved to draw the human form. When I needed some extra cash I began giving tattoos. It wasn't hard and it was good money since I couldn't rely on my art for a steady income. My sister was involved in an explosion in a chemistry lab experiment. As a result, she lost her eyebrows as well. She was a teenager and image is everything when you are a teenager. Even though I had never done anything like it before, I offered to tattoo her eyebrows back on and she let me. It was such a success that I continued to do it so I could help people like my sister."

"You really did help. " Ben shook Bones and Angela's hand, thanked them for their business and left them alone.

"Sweetie, you look amazing." Bones looked in the mirror again.

"I don't feel as ugly as I did this morning."

"Oh Bren, you are beautiful and you always have been."

"That's what Booth keeps telling me."

"Booth is right." Angela said with a smile.

"He loves me Angela. After everything I did he loves me."

"You sound surprised Bren."

"There is a part of me that is."

"You shouldn't be. Booth has loved you for so long and true love can never be denied."

"I'm sorry Angela."

"For what sweetie?"

"For what I did to you; for how I treated you after I got home from…"

"You have apologized a million times and I have forgiven you a million times. There is no need for any more apologies."

"I did not apologize a million times. You just picked that number randomly." Bones accused and Angela smiled.

"Hey are you girls done in there?" Booth called from the other side of the door.

"Are you ready to see him?" Angela asked.

"I think so."

"Booones." Booth whined. Angela smiled and opened the door.

"Prepare to be amazed." Angela winked and slid past him. Booth walked into the room and saw Bones standing at the window with her back to him.

"Hi Bones." She slowly turned around but she wasn't looking at him. She was looking at the floor. He walked over to her and lifted her face up. "Hi Bones." He repeated.

"Hello Booth."

"I love the haircut."

"The scars are barely noticeable with my hair cut this way." Booth tucked the hair that was covering her scars and tucked it behind her ear.

"You look amazing." He leaned down and kissed her softly. "So beautiful." He whispered once they broke apart.

"Do you see my new eyebrows?"

"I love your new eyebrows. They look so real."

"That is the point Booth." She hadn't stopped smiling since they broke their kiss and Booth knew it was now, the right time to ask her out on a date.

"So what do you say that you put on that pretty green dress of yours and I'll put on a suit and let's go to that new fancy Italian restaurant on Prospect?" He suggested.

"I don't think so." She automatically replied.

"Come on Bones, you've got this great new haircut and new eyebrows that you should show off."

"No. I would rather just stay home."

"Bones, sweetheart, you can't stay in this house forever. "

"I know that Booth and I have been out of the house."

"Yeah only when you have to."

"That's not true. I have walked out to the pasture to see the horses of my own accord and I am going back to work on Monday."

"Both of which are good things but you need to be out, among people that you don't know."

"I don't need to be around strangers."

"I am in love with you and we have never been out on a date. I want to take you out on a date Temperance. Please will you let me take out on a date?"

"Why do you want to go out on a date so badly?"

"It's the thing to do when you are in love."

"We already love each other. We sleep together every night so is a date really necessary?"

"You bring up a valid point. Our relationship is as unconventional as it gets but for once, I want to do the conventional thing. I want to take you out on a date." Bones saw the hope in his eyes and she found herself agreeing to a date with the man she loves and even though she was terrified she knew Booth would protect her. He would always be there to protect her; he did promise after all.


	23. Chapter 23

Seeley Booth felt like a kid again as he stood in front of the mirror is his room at the Hodgins' mansion giving himself a final once over. He looked good and he knew it in his navy blue suit. He was excited about their first official date. Like their entire professional relationship, their personal relationship was proving to be anything but normal. They have slept together, told each other that they loved the other broken up, ended their friendship, he got engaged, she moved out of state, returned, he broke off his engagement, got back together, kissed and have been sleeping in the same bed for months without sex without ever going out on an official date. This date has been a long time coming and if everything goes according to his plan it was going to be well worth the wait. He grabbed the bouquet of flowers he asked the gardener to put together for him and he crossed the hall to Bones' room.

For some unknown reason Bones' heart began to pound furiously when she heard Booth knock on her bedroom door. It was ridiculous that her heart rate is increasing. They have been together for months and eaten dinner together many times so there was no reason why she should be experiencing this rush of adrenaline but regardless of what should have been happening her heart was pounding and it wasn't because of excitement. She was terrified and she couldn't stop those feelings she stepped up to the mirror and looked at her reflection. Her new haircut covered most of the scarring on her face but some of it could still be seen. What would people think when they saw her? Tears filled her eyes. She couldn't go through with this date.

"Come on Bones. Open up." Booth called from the other side. Slowly, she walked away from the mirror and opened the door. "Wow." Booth let out a slow whistle. "You look amazing." He handed the flowers to her. "These are for you."

"Thank you." She turned back into her room and he followed her.

"What's wrong Bones? You are going out on a date with a really hot F.B.I. agent. You should be much happier." She didn't respond. She just concentrated on arranging the flowers in a vase so he walked up behind her and turned her body to his. She had tears rolling down her face. "What is it?"

"I'm not ready to go out in public and face the world." She admitted softly to him. "I don't want anyone seeing me like this. I am a monster."

"No sweetheart. You are not a monster. You are beautiful. So beautiful." He leaned forward, pushed her hair off of her face. Softly, he ran a finger over her scar and then followed the path with kisses. "The scar is barely noticeable Bones and it bothers you more than anyone."

"Every time I look in the mirror all I see is this hideous scar."

"Then spend the night looking into my eyes and then maybe by the end of the night, you will see what I see when I look at you."

"That would be impossible Booth."

"Work with me here Bones When I look at you all I see is a beautiful woman; a beautiful woman that I am lucky to be holding hands with; a beautiful woman whom I love and one day you are going to see that as well."

"What will people say when they see me?"

"Not a damn thing. Its human nature to look but no one will come up and say anything to you and if they do attempt to say something I will be there to put a stop to it. I promised to protect you and never let anyone hurt you again. That promise goes for any lunatic that tries to hurt you as well as someone who has the nerve to say something mean to you about your scars. That will not happen when I am around."

"And what happens when you aren't around?"

"When that happens you will be strong enough to handle what anyone would say to or about you."

"I'm not strong anymore." She whispered.

"You are. You have just lost it but one day, you'll find it and until you do, I'll be right by your side." Using his thumb, he wiped her tears. "Now are you ready for our first date?"

"I suppose."

"You suppose? Really? There are women out there who would jump at the chance to date Seeley Booth."

"Maybe you should go out with one of them."

"Did you just make a joke Bones?" The sparkle in his eyes made her smile.

"No. I was making a valid suggestion since you seem to have so many other choices."

"No. There is no choice for me. You are the only woman that I want to take out on a date." Booth offered his arm to Bones. "May I escort you to dinner madam?" He requested with what he thought was an English accent. Bones laughed and linked her arm in his.

"What accent is that?"

"An English accent love."

"No it wasn't. It sounded like an Irish and Scottish all mixed up." Booth feigned hurt.

"It most certainly was English."

"No Booth. It was definitely not." They walked out of the bedroom arguing about his accent and for awhile it felt like old times.

* * *

"Reservation for Booth." Bones was hiding behind Booth with her head down, clutching his hand.

"Right this way please." The couple followed the hostess to their table in a dark corner; a table that Booth requested. He knew that Bones would be more comfortable in a dark spot away from people.

"Bones, I am losing feeling in my hand." In response, she squeezed his hand tighter. "Okay then. Keep holding my hand." When they arrived at their table the hostess put their menus down, Booth pulled out Bones' chair from her and once she was seated he pushed her chair in, kissed her softly and then took the chair across from her. Before they could have any conversation, their waitress came over and they ordered a bottle of wine.

"This is nice isn't it?" Booth asked as they sipped their wine after they had placed their orders. Bones simply nodded. "Are you doing okay?" Again, another nod. "You know Bones, I know that it has been awhile since you have been out on a date but conversation is usually a big part of a date."

"It hasn't been that long since I have been on a date Booth."

"Oh really?" Booth flashed a charming smile. "How long Bones?"

"I went out on a few dates in California before…"

"It's been a long time Bones."

"That may be true but one thing I do recall from dating was that the two people on the date should not talk about their past dating experiences."

"You are correct Bones so let's talk Temperance."

* * *

The couple began talking and continued talking through their shared appetizer, their dinner, dessert, the bottle of wine and finally a couple cups of coffee until the waitress politely asked them to leave because it was closing time. Booth wanted to do more with her. He wanted to take her dancing and show her off but Booth knew she wasn't ready for that much public interaction yet so putting her needs first he took her home.

"Would you like to come up to my room and have a glass of wine?" Bones asked.

"We have had quite a lot all ready and I need to be sober in the morning when I go and pick up Parker but I guess that I can stomach one more glass." They went into Hodgins' wine cellar, choose a bottle, grabbed a couple of wine glasses, went and shut themselves in her room.

"You can sit over here with me." She was on the bed and he was sitting in the chair.

"Are you flirting with me Bones?"

"Maybe." With a smile, Booth joined her on the bed. The two of them settled against the head board with Bones leaning against him.

"Did you have fun tonight sweetheart?"

"I did. Thank you."

"You are very, very welcome."

"Not just for the date but for keeping your promise. I needed to get back out into the world of the living again. I was so scared but you knew exactly what I needed. You made me get dressed up so I would feel beautiful again and then you made sure we were in a table in the back, in a dark corner so people wouldn't stare."

"Point of clarification, no one makes you do anything you don't want to do Bones. Not even me." Bones smiled.

"You kept me safe. You protected me and that means everything to me."

"I'm always going to protect you. I will always regret that I couldn't protect you from those bastards that kidnapped and raped you and from the woman who burnt you."

"You did try to protect me from the kidnapping and rape. You asked me not to go because you had a gut feeling and I went anyway. It's not your fault Booth and as far as the woman who burnt me, you couldn't have known that was going to happen. What's important is you were the first face I saw after it happened, holding me and calming me down and you have been there for me every day since."

"I'm always going to be here Bones. I will never walk away again." Booth told her softly.

"It's been a long, difficult journey but I feel that we finally are exactly where we are supposed to be."

"And where is that?"

"Together and in love." The two of them looked into each other's eyes.

"I love you Bones, so much."

"I love you Booth. I have loved you for so long." They brought their heads together and kissed slowly. When they broke their embrace, Bones took Booth's wine glass from his hand, got out of bed and put their glasses on her dresser. She then turned back towards the bed, reached behind her, unzipped her dress and let it fall to the floor.

"Bones what are you doing?" He whispered thickly as he stared at the woman in front of him wearing nothing but a pale pink bra and matching underwear.

"Don't the majority of dates end with intercourse?"She climbed on the bed, crawled over and straddled his lap.

"Bones. We…we…shouldn't." He managed to gasp.

"Why not? I know you want to." To prove her point she pressed herself down gently on top of his growing erection.

"I want to. I want to very much." When the two of them got to her room the first thing Booth did was remove his suit jacket and tie and unbutton the first three buttons of his shirt so Bones had nothing in her way as she began to finish unbuttoning his shirt. Every time her fingers brushed against his skin his muscles contracted involuntarily. When his shirt was unbuttoned she slid her hands up his now naked chest to his shoulders so she could remove the dress shirt but Booth surprised her by placing his hands on top of hers to stop her.

"Booth?"

"Are you sure that you are ready for this?"

"Aren't you?"

"Yes Bones I am more than ready but it's not about me. I want to make love. I have wanted this for so long but if you're not ready then I don't want this."

"Booth which of the two of us is practically naked right now?"

"You are." He answered with a grin.

"I am ready. I've been ready for a long time." Booth relaxed his hands and Bones slid his shirt off. "I have had intercourse a few times since my rape."

"Was it…were you okay? Were you scared?"

"It was very clinical but I wasn't scared. Now I want to make love with you tonight. I want to feel like a woman again. I want you to make me feel like you did the night before I left. I want to feel normal again."

"Are you sure?" In an answer to his question, she reached behind her, unclasped her bra and threw it to the floor. Booth pulled her to him, groaning as her breasts crushed against his chest just before he kissed her hard

"I am very sure." Bones answered breathlessly when they broke apart. Gently, Booth placed his hands on her near naked hips, lifted her off of him and laid her on the bed next to him. He knew she wanted this and he wanted this just as bad as she did but he was terrified that he would scare her. Bones could see the hesitation in Booth's eyes so she reached out and cupped his cheek.

"I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to be scared of me." Bones saw tears in his eyes. "I am terrified that you will think that I will hurt you and I can't stand the thought of you thinking of those men while we make love."

"I am very clear about who raped me and who did not rape me. You did not rape me and I know you would never hurt me because you love me. I love you Booth and I will only be thinking of you." Booth linked his fingers with the ones that were cupping his cheek.

"You'll tell me if it gets to be too much or if I scare you?" She nodded. "Promise me Bones." He demanded.

"I promise but I can assure you that it won't happen."

"I love you." He whispered.

"I know you do. Now show me."

Smiling softly, Booth leaned over and covered her body with his own. He began kissing her lips but he didn't stay there long. There were other parts of her body that he wanted to kiss and taste. From her mouth he moved to her neck and from her neck he moved to her breasts. He pulled one into his mouth and ran his tongue over a hardened nipple while his other hand fondled the breast that wasn't in his mouth. Upon hearing her gasp of pleasure he lifted his end and looked at her, concern filling his brown eyes. She whispered that she was okay and to continue what he was doing so he returned to her breasts. He had missed them so much.

He could have spent the next few hours just on her breasts but she wanted more so to tell him that she gently pushed his head away from her breasts and down lower. Booth placed kissed on her rib cage, her belly, her belly button and finally to her womanhood. He took a minute to inhale her scent and then he placed a loving kiss on her most private area. When she moaned in appreciation, Booth knew she was comfortable so he continued.

As soon as Booth wrapped his mouth around her clit and slid two fingers inside of her Bones groaned. It felt so perfect. She was so aroused that it only took a few sucks and strokes before her back arched and she cried out in pleasure but Booth wasn't done. Just as she was coming down from her pleasure induced high Booth replaced his mouth on her clit with his thumb and his fingers were replaced with his tongue. Booth took his time tasting as much as her as he could while he rolled her clit around his thumb for extra stimulation. It had been so long since Bones had felt anything so amazing and her constant moans let him know that. When she came again, Booth indulged in every last ounce of her and then he kissed his way back up her body until he found her lips and there he remained kissing her passionately.

"I love you so much." Booth whispered breathlessly when they finally broke their embrace.

"I love you too. Now get those pants off please so we can have intercourse." Booth laughed as he climbed off of her. Only she would say something like that. Before taking his pants off he reached for his wallet. "What are you doing?" She asked impatiently, rolling over on her side and propping her head up with her hand.

"Praying that I have a condom."

"I have been getting a birth control shot for quite some time and as long as you don't have any sexually transmitted diseases than we don't need a condom. You don't have any sexually transmitted diseases do you Booth?"

"No Temperance. I do not have an STD." With a grin he shucked out of his pants, boxers and socks and he climbed back into bed with her. "I need to ask one more time Bones. Are you sure you want this, that you are ready for this because if not its fine." He reached out and cupped her cheek.

"I am sure I want this. I am sure I want you."

"If it gets to be too …" Bones was tired of hearing him talk. She cut him off with a kiss. Booth understood what she wanted and he rolled over on top of her and she spread her leg willingly. Booth pulled his lips away from hers and entered her slowly, watching her face for any signs of distress but all he saw was pure satisfaction etched in her beautiful features. Her eyes were closed and she looked so beautiful that all Booth could do stare at the woman below him.

"A little movement would be appreciated." Bones requested. Booth smiled, leaned down on top of her and kissed her softly. While kissing her, he pulled almost all the way out of her and slowly pushed backed inside of her. Bones pulled her mouth away from Booth's mouth and moaned in pleasure. Booth moved away from her face and began to nuzzle her neck, kiss and suck on her breasts while thrusting in and out of her slowly. There was a small part of him that was afraid that she would freak out if went any faster so he was taking it slow and right now, she seemed to be enjoying the slowness.

If Bones believed in Heaven then she would have thought that she was there at that moment. Booth was stroking in and out of her at a very slow pace while kissing and sucking on her neck and breasts. She had never felt anything so wonderful before. Even though she told Booth, insisted actually, that she had no apprehension about making love she actually was anxious about it. It had been years since she had sex and it wasn't about feeling or love. It was about getting over a major fear and source of anxiety for her and that purpose was accomplished. Tonight was about feeling; feeling like a beautiful, desirable woman; feeling normal and feeling loved and Booth was accomplishing that. He was making her feel like a beautiful desirable woman. She felt loved and normal. She felt wonderful, both physically and emotionally.

"Bones…I'm gonna…. Oh God…" Booth grunted. He was on the verge of cresting and going slow and gentle was no longer an option. His mind was no longer in control. It was his body and his body couldn't go slow and gentle. His pace was frantic and rough and when Bones cried out in pleasure and her walls clenched around him, he knew his pace suited her. Her pleasure trigged his release and with a roar his body stiffened and then contracted as manhood shot inside of her. When Booth came back to reality he rolled off of her onto his back, taking the woman underneath him with him and kissing her softly.

"Are you okay?" He whispered when they broke apart.

"I am more than okay." She sighed contentedly.

"I didn't…"

"You didn't hurt of scare me. It was exactly what I needed. It was perfect." Completely stated, she snuggled against his naked body. Booth wrapped an arm around her and held her tightly against him and kissed her head.

"The last thing I ever want is to hurt you."

"I know that which is why tonight I was able to give myself completely to you."

"And that is something that I will always treasure."

"You have proven to me over and over again that I can trust you, that you will never hurt me and that you love me."

"It's been a long time coming Temperance but I think we are exactly where we are meant to be; together in each other's arms in love. The few years that we were apart, those were probably the loneliest of my life and then you came back into my life and I wasn't lonely anymore."

"I was lonely as well. I thought that I was content with being alone but once you walked out of my life I was truly alone and miserable."

"Never again will we be lonely. I will never leave you again."

"And I will never give you a reason." Bones lifted her head and pressed her lips to his. "Thank you for tonight; for the date and for the sex. In your arms, I felt like the woman I was before the burn and the rape. I thought I lost her but you and your love helped me find her again. I love you Seeley Booth."

"I'm glad you found her too, I have missed her." Booth smiled softly as he brushed her damp hair off of her forehead. "I love you too my sweet Bones."

The couple quickly drifted off to sleep, holding each other with smile on their faces. For the first time in a very long time, everything was exactly as it should be. Bones was moving on with her life, slowly getting past the horror that she has been through. Booth knew that every day was going to be a challenge and he was going to be with her and support her and together one day, she may be able to live a normal and happy life but before that happened they had to get through the next challenge; returning to work.


End file.
